Monday Afternoon Links of Generic-ness

by | Jun 16, 2025 | Daily Links | 86 comments

Due to the Allegric Warfare being waged upon the Midwest by the Eyestalk Monsters of Gamma VII, I have coughed more than a TB sanitarium in 1903, and as a bonus, my voice is almost gone (Mrs. Swiss vigorously applauds). Needless to say I had two important calls with a bevy of VPs and SwissCorp International.

Yeah, “wah, wah, wah” you say. Gimme dem links, so we can ignore them and start talking about what WE want!

Here ye be.

  • Tabloid heart string puller/outrage causer.
  • Fussy Euro site fusses.
  • Once major wire service does manage an interesting story!
  • This one from the CH actually HURTS. Inside Paradeplatz is my favorite bitchy, gossipy business publication. I haz schade.

Discuss unto me: art thou officer or art thou base, common, and popular? … I mean, the comments are yours.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

86 Comments

  1. Jarflax

    Am I reading that correctly? They are prosecuting the journalist for violating bank secrecy laws by reporting on criminal conduct by the bankers, who are, or have already been charged with said criminal conduct?

  2. UnCivilServant

    I’m Sorry to hear about your allergies, Swiss.

    Sounds like misery. Hope the plant semen clears from the air.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I prefer to think of semen as animal pollen. It’s less gross that way.

      • Jarflax

        Mental note, avoid any honey offered by Stinky Wizzleteats

      • Suthenboy

        I dont do a lot of thinking about semen. Maybe that’s just me.

      • Fourscore

        “Looking for a good time, Sailor”

        /Winstons Mom

  3. UnCivilServant

    I have gotten the cursed Keyboard back in a functional state. I bought it at the end of March, and in the 2.5 months I’ve owned it , I’d be shocked if it were in working order for a full fortnight.

    Most recently I resoldered all of the key switch socket joints because they kept failing. They shouldn’t break now. If it weren’t so nice to type on, I might have reminded myself of the sunk cost fallacy.

    But now I type, and 🤞 it stays this way.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Chicken abuse?

    • Sean

      Filthy Europeans.

    • Pat

      I’m shocked, I thought chicken farms were big open pastures where birds wandered around doing their thing, dropping an egg or two every few weeks at their leisure.

    • trshmnstr

      Industrial food is industrial and treats animals like machines, more at 11.

      If you don’t like the idea of eating eggs from sad chickens, get to know a farmer.

  5. Ted S.

    Due to the Allegric Warfare being waged upon the Midwest by the Eyestalk Monsters of Gamma VII, I have coughed more than a TB sanitarium in 1903, and as a bonus, my voice is almost gone (Mrs. Swiss vigorously applauds).

    Did you try taking Ricola?

    • The Other Kevin

      +1 Alpenhorn

  6. Shpip

    Due to the Allegric Warfare being waged upon the Midwest by the Eyestalk Monsters of Gamma VII

    Has anyone checked the pollen levels in Minneapolis around Memorial Day five years ago? It could’ve been that, and not the fent, wot did Saint Floyd in.

    Maybe I should plant that story in the darker corners of Twitter X.

    • Pat

      Derek Chauvin still would have been convicted for not administering an epi pen.

  7. The Other Kevin

    I’m with you, Swiss. Scratchy throat and sneezing.

  8. Shpip

    Oh, I bet that stings.

    Sunjay Kapur, a prominent Indian businessman and ex-husband of Bollywood actress Karisma Kapoor, passed away on June 12. The 53-year-old industrialist passed away in the United Kingdom, reportedly while playing polo. As per reports, he suffered a heart attack while playing polo.

    According to reports, Sunjay Kapur was riding during the match when a bee allegedly flew into his mouth, triggering a cardiac arrest.

    Hangs out with WASPs, gets done in by a bee. If only he’d kept his mouth shut, he wouldn’t have bumbled into that mess.

    • The Other Kevin

      I wonder if his last meal was swarma.

    • Pat

      This is a story sure to generate a lot of buzz.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I wonder if his polo uniform consisted of a yellow jacket.

    • The Other Kevin

      His last words to his wife were “I love you honey.”

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Ah, and we should all fear the sting of the puny bee.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Indulgences market crash

    A whopping 40 percent of Tesla’s income comes from selling emissions credits both in the U.S. and abroad. In the last five quarters, Tesla made a staggering $3.36 billion off regulatory credits, per Axios. That’s a huge amount, and these credits, sometimes referred to as “emissions credits,” have long been a part of the automaker’s business plan. Now, new regulatory measures could put an end to one of the most profitable aspects of the company’s business.

    The federal government awards credits to companies, like Tesla, that exceed the government’s emissions standards. These credits can be bought and sold by manufacturers. For example, if Tesla exceeded its emissions standards and was awarded 10 credits, it could sell eight to Ford, one to Hyundai, and perhaps keep one for itself. These credits are frequently bought by manufacturers like Ford, which has previously purchased them from Tesla as it wasn’t able to meet EU emissions regulations at the time.

    However, Senate Republicans have proposed ending civil penalties under the Transportation Department’s fuel economy rules. Without enforcement of fines and penalties for manufacturers that do not meet emissions standards, the market for carbon credits is effectively ended, Chris Harto, a senior policy analyst at Consumer Reports, tells Axios.

    Simply put, automakers would have no need for carbon credits without being held to emissions standards. Dan Becker, who heads the Safe Climate Transport Campaign at the Center for Biological Diversity, said: “Why buy credits if Trump gives you a get out of CAFE free card?” These carbon credits are under fire from other angles as well. The EPA is planning to rescind Biden-era carbon emissions rules for 2027 model year and onwards cars. Moreover, the reconciliation bill, which houses the Republican proposal, was passed by the House already. It’s bad news for Tesla, as its revenue from selling credits outstripped overall profit last quarter, which means the company would have been in the red without them.

    No more need to buy your way out of emissions Hell?

    • UnCivilServant

      🥳

      Maybe maybe we can get real cars again?

    • Suthenboy

      In other words the global warming scam is dying. It’s overdue but I will take it.
      I think the scientific community has effectively damaged it’s credibility for at least a generation.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Dying until the Dems get back in office.

      • Suthenboy

        Perhaps but the true believers and scammers aside it is dying in the minds of the public.
        I am seeing more and more ‘climate scam is a scam’ videos popping up on the series of tubes.

      • The Last American Hero

        Curb your enthusiasm. Gas in Washington is still almost $5 a gallon and Sideshow Bob is increasing it. They hired 80 people last year just to deal with global warming, and they are looking to enact London-style bans in cities like Seattle.

        Yesyesyes, but that’s just cloud-cuckoo Washington. And Oregon. And California. And Colorado, Minnesota, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, all of New England except New Hampshire, New York, Hawaii and every other Team Blue stronghold.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Regulatory credits do need to end, but not for the reasons some want them to. With the ability to simply pay their way around emissions standards, automakers are free to build cars that will not comply and sell them, putting them on the road for decades. As climate change worsens, the largest companies in the automotive industry are allowed to skirt emissions even as others work to reduce their carbon footprint.

    Punish the wicked!

    • Ted S.

      I’m OK with punishing the Biden administration.

    • Shpip

      With the ability to simply pay their way around emissions standards, automakers are free to build cars that will not comply that people want and sell them

      Bring back the V-8, please.

    • Suthenboy

      As climate change worsens. if you say it enough it will come true.

    • Akira

      The CAFE standards are actually part of why you can’t get anything except a gigantic truck nowadays. The fuel economy a vehicle must get (or face a penaltax type thing) is determined partly by the wheelbase. Many small trucks incur that penalty, so manufacturers have just made them larger because there is more leeway on fuel economy for larger vehicles. The result is that small trucks in the US market are very rare, and the giant trucks on the road are actually getting worse fuel economy.

      I know, it’s crazy that the government would actually make things worse, but believe it or not!

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s an interesting one. “Pakistan Will Nuke Israel If It Uses Nuclear Weapon Against Us, Claims Iran”

      Why would Israel use a nuke?

      • Derpetologist

        To keep the Iranians from getting one? Regime change?

        But yeah. They have no reason to do that.

    • The Other Kevin

      A bit more clarity on the issue, from Mario Nawfal (I found him recently, he’s been a good source).

      “The Iranians haven’t killed Americans.

      Iran should talk immediately before it is too late.”

      Meanwhile, military prep continues: Carrier strike groups, refueling jets, and diplomatic backchannels are all in motion in case Iran escalates.

      https://x.com/MarioNawfal/status/1934715845491687778

      • Pat

        That’s a Nawfal take on the issue.

      • The Other Kevin

        That goes without saying.

      • Suthenboy

        Like hell they haven’t killed Americans.

      • Brochettaward

        They’ve paid for the deaths of a number of Americans. I mean, they were the main funder of the insurgency in Iraq so…

        It is best to talk to Iran to help deescalate this shit, but when push comes to shove I expect Iran to do what Iran has been content to do. Wage war through proxies.

        They blew their wad already and it was less than impressive.

  11. Derpetologist

    Quebec’s language law makes many gaming products illegal:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DyAvq7LE6A

    See, if it’s not in French, then no one in Quebec should be able to buy it.

    There was a whole busload of Francophones at the grocery store the other day. T-shirts tucked into shorts as far as the eye could see. Joke’s on them. The store closing and most of the shelves were empty.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Peacekeeper

    The 39-year-old man shot and killed at a weekend “No Kings” protest in Salt Lake City was a successful fashion designer and former “Project Runway” contestant who devoted his life to celebrating artists from the Pacific Islands.

    Arthur Folasa Ah Loo was killed when a man who was believed to be part of a peacekeeping team for the protest shot at a person brandishing a rifle at demonstrators, accidentally striking Ah Loo. Ah Loo later died at the hospital, authorities said.

    Detectives don’t yet know why the alleged rifleman pulled out a weapon or ran from the peacekeepers, but they charged him with murder and accused him of creating the dangerous situation that led to Ah Loo’s death, Salt Lake City Police Chief Brian Redd said at a Sunday news conference.

    Look what you made us do.

    • Suthenboy

      That more or less confirms that the shooter is a cop, does it not?

      • Suthenboy

        Also means that the organizers of the riot can be charged.

    • The Last American Hero

      Should have done a Haaka dance for good luck before the protest.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    As tragic as his death is, she said, Ah Loo would have been proud that his last moments were spent fighting for what he believed in.

    “If Afa was going to go out any other way than natural causes, it would be standing up for marginalized and vulnerable communities and making sure that people had a voice,” Mauga told The Associated Press on Monday.

    Bare knuckle freedom fighter in the trenches combatting the divine right of kings.

    • Suthenboy

      *GAG*

    • rhywun

      We hear so little from the vulnerable and marginalized anymore. I wonder what is up with them.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      I think a military parade was okay for the occasion (anniversary of the Army). It’s not really any more gratuitous than the annual air shows all over the country. But I wouldn’t want to see a military parade as a regular thing.

  14. Mojeaux

    My mom seems to have begun a campaign of reputation reclamation. She went to a potluck today with church ladies from Cunty Aunt Susie’s congregation (formerly hers) at the home of the Helpful Church Lady who thought she’d go around me to guilt a very sick woman in rehab to do things she knew I would refuse to do.

    When she got home, I asked her how it went, and she said, “I talked a lot about myself and now I feel stupid.” I asked if they wanted to know and she said yes. I told her that wasn’t stupid when people wanted information and she talked. There was no tea, hot or otherwise.

    BUT she talked about how sick she was, the whole saga sans the lawsuit, although I’m sure there were Nosy Nellies about that. She talked me up about how I’d taken care of her and whatnot. She made it firmly clear that it was HER decision to “split up” “The Three Sisters” “for reasons I don’t want to go into.” She talked about her future plans and how much better she is now than she was.

    They wanted to know where Susie and Millie were going to go. She said she didn’t know, but that Millie had nowhere else to go but with Susie and little money to get there even if she wanted to. Millie’s one daughter is estranged from her and her granddaughter’s husband committed suicide last year and she’s in no condition to come get her. (Tangentially, I am Millie’s POA for healthcare decisions until Kayla can get here [from Sacramento] and take over, but I don’t know if Millie remembers that.)

    Everybody was happy to see her, and while she was tempted to ask Helpful Church Lady if the Cunty Aunts decided not to come when they found out Mom would be there, she did not. She’s far more circumspect than I am.

    • UnCivilServant

      Good on her.

      I would not be able to deal with an event like that.

    • Brochettaward

      Glad to see your Mom is back to being able to go out.

    • Evan from Evansville

      *BIGGEST SQUEEZE from afar*

      I hope all ends as well as it can, and for them to be sated. (Til then? Fuck CAS.)

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “Research”

    A federal judge in Boston on Monday said the termination of National Institutes of Health grants for research on diversity-related topics by President Donald Trump’s administration was “void and illegal,” and accused the government of discriminating against racial minorities and LGBT people.
    U.S. District Judge William Young during a non-jury trial said the NIH violated federal law by arbitrarily canceling more than $1 billion in research grants because of their perceived connection to diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives.

    Young said he was reinstating grants that had been awarded to organizations and Democratic-led states that sued over the terminations. And the judge indicated that as the case proceeds he could issue a more sweeping decision.
    “This represents racial discrimination and discrimination against America’s LGBTQ community,” said Young, an appointee of Republican former President Ronald Reagan. “Any discrimination by our government is so wrong that it requires the court to enjoin it and at an appropriate time, I’m going to do it.”
    Referring to the termination of grants for research related to issues involving racial minorities, the judge said he had in four decades on the bench “never seen a record where racial discrimination was so palpable.”

    Garbage in, garbage out.

    • UnCivilServant

      We accept your resignation, Ex-Judge.

    • Suthenboy

      I am fuzzy on how this all works. How much discretion have past executives had and how have they exercised it?

      • Suthenboy

        I have the strong impression that these leftist activist judges are attempting to change how the grant system works while Trump is goring their commie ox but as soon as another Obama gets in they will turn on a dime and reverse themselves.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        They’re attempting to circumvent the constitution.

        The judicial branch has no authority over who does and does not receive grants. Congress does, and when Congress doesn’t specify, the executive branch has leeway to dispense funds however it sees fit.

    • Brochettaward

      Not favoring them is the same as discriminating against them. It is logic 101. You peasants didn’t go to law school so you wouldn’t understand.

    • rhywun

      Any discrimination by our government is so wrong that it requires the court to enjoin it and at an appropriate time, I’m going to do it

      But only for certain values of discrimination, I guess.

      JFC the projection burns.

  16. CPRM

    Got most of the lawn mowed. As I was finishing up the last piece away from the house something went wrong with the drive belt and it stopped moving (riding mower). Meh, don’t want to deal with it today. That part of the lawn doesn’t matter much anyhow.

      • R.J.

        Over tightening the belt can lead to indigestion, chafing and future regret!

    • Suthenboy

      I had a stick get wedged in the drive belt once and I had no clue until the belt burned out and stopped.

      • CPRM

        That happened once before, but just dislodged something instead of burning it out. I think it was the tension spring last time.

    • Akira

      Lawnmower maintenance issues are one of the big reasons I got a push-reel when I bought my first house. I upgraded to the Fiskars model a few years ago – supposedly the blades don’t actually touch the cutting surface; they just get so close that they shear the grass off. It has not lost any cutting ability so far. I just oil the moving parts now and then.

      … Although I don’t know how big your lawn is. Mine is not very big and only takes me about 30 minutes to push that thing around. I might go for a powered model if I had a bigger lawn.

      • The Hyperbole

        “supposedly the blades don’t actually touch the cutting surface”

        I’m gonna need a diagram because this makes no sense to me.

      • CPRM

        The property is around 2 acres, it’s not all lawn, but still a lot. We mowed it with (motorized) push mowers when I was a kid and it sucked.

      • Akira

        On normal push-reels, there’s the cylinder of blades that shear against a stationary piece as it turns, but on this one, the blades stop just barely short of touching the stationary piece… It’s kind of like if you had a pair of scissors where the blades were not actually rubbing up against each other, but they were so close that they would still cut.

        I hope that doesn’t just make it more confusing; I have no background whatsoever in technical/mechanical matters.

  17. Brochettaward

    Good news everyone! Minnesota is making sure to charge the assassin under state law so that the dastardly Trump can’t pardon him for killing Democrats. Isn’t that swell?

    • UnCivilServant

      Murder is normally a state crime.

    • Sean

      No kings!

      Or something. 🤷🏼

    • Shpip

      Well, it’s not like Minnesoda could charge them under federal law.

      Though I’m sure, if the feds wanted to, they could charge the perp with violating the decedents’ civil rights or something.

      • Brochettaward

        Yea, but grand standing assholes in Minnesota are making a point to say they’ll charge him in lieu of the feds so that he can’t be pardoned. As if that’s a realistic scenario.

        This is the third time this shit has come up with Minnesota. First with Chauvin, bracing for a pardon Trump has never even publicly mentioned. Then the DOJ shutting down the enforcement of the bullshit deal with the Minnesota police only for them to supplant it.

        The guy is going to be locked away for life no matter what. It’s all just rather dumb.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        They have to be seen as RESISTING Trump on every issue, all the time. At least that’s what they tell themselves. The problem is that these stupid fuckers have chosen the extreme left to be their base, and are on the wrong side of nearly every issue. They’re afraid to tell the 20-something Antifa fuckers to eat shit, and that they’ll go to fucking jail if they pull their shit. They’ve painted themselves in a corner.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Interesting

  18. Evan from Evansville

    After Sunday’s affair with several people asking me if I was, indeed, a father, to congratulate or thank me, I got a beautiful reversal.

    MN Munch sent that Velcro toddler-ball present, and Ez and I played catch for an hour today, to his great amusement. (Seeds sown. Cubs fan created, soon. Once he has a bit of a semblance of full-sentience.)

    It was quite a beautiful moment, he and I shared. He had fun, but for me, I imagine you can imagine it was a magical paternal moment I don’t otherwise possess. It’s rather special. I’ll soak and foster it further. He read for me today and wanted me to read out every sign he saw. He’s far more verbal than his older bros.

    Monocle on. Mustache twisted. Pipe puffed.