So, the Glue Factory is sold, as of ~10 days ago and Mom got her money dumped into her account almost as soon as the papers were signed.
Cunty Aunts Susie and Millie are, hopefully, out of my life for good, if not my mother’s. I’ll tell you what, though. If my mom does end up dying before they do anyway, I won’t acknowledge them in her obituary. “Phyllis is survived by two of her five sisters, Cindy and Mary [Jane1].” I don’t know what happened to Elmer and Gorilla, nor do I care, because horses are awful and why is consuming horse meat a U.S. taboo (TW: Reddit)?
In the course of caring for my mother and her business, I’ve herded her into using more tech than she already did, which, for an 81-year-old, was already pretty spectacular. The reason she’s this technologically advanced is because of things she really loves: the Gospel Library and ebooks. She figured out how to borrow ebooks from the library on her own. She figured out how to shop (Amazon, Hy-Vee, prescription notifications from CVS) on her own. I had to coax her into banking on her phone, which she finds insecure. I had to guide her through connecting her bank account to vendors who want to send her money (e.g., the title company) via Plaid and her apartment complex so she can pay her rent.2 Since she now does not live in the back of beyond, fast food is more accessible to her, so my husband showed her how to use ordering apps and she took to it like a duck to water. Buy McDonald’s stock. When she came to live with me, we introduced her to Roku TV and Tubi, which she fluvs.
I also introduced her to Google calendar, Dropbox, and KeePass.
Google calendar wasn’t difficult to teach her how to use, but it was difficult to make her use it if it involves my participation. Yes, she really can keep all that shit in her head, but her problem is she thinks she told me or she expects me to read her mind. I have explained that I am not a mind-reader, yet she doesn’t believe me.
I had to start using KeePass because her preexisting passwords were pathetic. Guessable by an impatient human? No. Brute-forceable? Absolutely. I have a password-creation protocol that satisfies almost everybody’s requirements and has a DIY hash, but she started to get pissy about all the weirdness and that she couldn’t remember them. I said, “You’re in luck!”
The KeePass part is a little tricky, because I put the file on Dropbox so I can monitor it, and she has to access it from there. Multi-step. It’s even frustrating for me until I figured out a workaround to KeePass’s limitations. No, I haven’t encrypted her folder yet, because there’s only so far I can push her (technologically speaking) and I needed to set it up in a way she can still use it if her mind starts slipping. It’s not really that secure, and it makes me bite my nails.
Also, I kind of forgot how I encrypted the Dropbox folder I share with my husband. I think I used TrueCrypt (at least, I have an .exe in my software downloads archive and I can’t find any other encryption software there), and I think that’s the article I used to do it, and I think I did this around 2013, but the system works. I don’t even know if I did it right or even if the folder’s truly encrypted. Yes, I back up my password files onto my hard drive regularly.
All of this is to say she now objects to the fact that a few of her passwords involve some variation of the phrase “cuntyauntsusie.” No, Mom, I am not going to change them.
I don’t know how this happened, but in the process of writing this post, I ended up spending hours cleaning up some of my old blog posts.
I was culling files in my website and came across a track I love, but can’t find on YouTube because YouTube is stupid and removed it for some weird copyright claim. Anyway, I first heard it on the Matthew McConaugheeeeeeeyyyyyy Lincoln commercial. Since this site is a sausage-fest, I expect most of you won’t get this. Hi, GayGlibbies!
- Aunt Mary Jane is only 11 years old than I am, and Grandpa died when she was 10, so my dad kind of became her older brother/father figure. I was thirty-something before I knew she’d insisted on going by “Mary” for years, and so I seriously have to watch my mouth when I’m around other people. “This is my Aunt Mary Ja—Mary.” ↩︎
- Mom did all the bookkeeping and bill-paying chores of the Glue Factory. When she came home with me on hospice in January, I immediately changed her address, but I didn’t think about the fact that all the house bills would come to me. Oops. Anyway, so Susie was freaking out (via church people and her lawyer) about how she was going to pay the mortgage. I said, “I have access to the household account and I’m logged into the mortgage site. I’ll pay it.” They said, “No, she wants to do it.” Oh, okay. Here’s the website (wtf kind of name for a bank is Mr. Cooper?). “No, she wants to pay by check.” Oh, okay. Here’s the account number, the payment address, and the payment amount. They said, “No, she needs the slip and return envelope.” I said, “She does not need the slip or return envelope. She needs a check, an envelope, a stamp, a pen, and more than two brain cells, because I already gave you the payment information. If she can’t figure out how to pay it, that’s not my problem.”
Maybe I’m not so shocked that Cunty Aunt Susie can’t figure out how to pay the fucking bill without a slip and a return envelope, but I damn sure can be shocked that these church people, who are about my age, couldn’t have figured out what to do with the account number, the payment address, and the payment amount. Why yes, I can write in cursive, use a rotary phone, and drive a stick shift.
I can also figure out how to pay a fucking bill with minimal information. ↩︎
Huzzah! Nice property.
There was a big recall on a certain model of Lincoln. The problem was with the steering, it kept going all right all right all right.
Okay, Shpip has hacked TOK’s account. Speaking of passwords…
I started following him on X recently, and here we are.
I don’t think she is wrong!
She isn’t.
That is wonderfully petty. Although it’s quicker to just use KeePass’s random generator…
VeraCrypt is the successor for TrueCrypt and has a better algo. Cryptomator or Duplicati are probably better choices for encrypted cloud storage or cloud backups.
I had to coax her into banking on her phone
Hard pass.
Same. Yet I have no problem doing so on a PC or tablet.
*shrug*
You can log out of your browser session on a PC or tablet and sever the link between you and your bank. Their phone apps, by contrast, run in the background constantly, sometimes sharing data with other apps on the device to push you ads and financial offers, and a lost or stolen device gives someone else access to your financial data.
Thanks Pat. I knew it wasn’t irrational, but not why.
Pat, yet another reason I do t download apps.
It was good enough for a TV show.
Congratulations on powering through what was clearly an arduous ordeal!
It’s good to hear the wrap-up, and that your mom seems to be thriving. Respect!
Congratulations on selling the glue factory.
wtf kind of name for a bank is Mr. Cooper
D. B. Cooper is hiding in plain sight.
Banking on the phone is insecure, you shouldn’t do it.
Did McVConnawhatever do any Lincoln commercials in his stripper g string?
Banging on his bongo like a chimpanzee.
FreedomToons: Jeffrey Epstein was just depressed
At least Epstein knew when he was going to die, within a few minutes or so.
“Free at last, free……………..”
The second Lincoln commercial uses a Miles David tune from the soundtrack of an excellent French film from the 50’s called Ascenseur pour l’échafaud or Elevator to the Gallows in English. Davis did the entire soundtrack and it’s one of my favs by him.
Dude, that is the gold standard of soundtracks.
It really is. I’m a huge Miles fan and it’s one of my top 3 of all time out of his massive catalogue. First being Kind of Blue and the other In a Silent Way.
Different genres so it’s an apples and oranges thing, but Super Fly is better.
Superfly is almost there, and I do love me some Curtis Mayfield.
But it is second. A close second, but there you have it.
And, yes, Kind of Blue is one of the rarities; A perfect album. I do love Birth of the Cool and Bitches Brew will always be a worthwhile challenge. Miles is one of the rare artists that there really is a reason that the albums that are considered great really live up to the hype.
Every other Monday is “Miles, Monk, and Mingus Monday” at The Hyperbole’s Design and Construction Company (whether my employees like it or not) , I’m not knocking Mr. Davis. I would add Sketches of Spain to your list of essential music. All that being said Super Fly is still the superior soundtrack. Elevator is a better film, I’ll concede that at least.
Zwak is of course totally correct here. Speaking of Miles and soundtracks, he did a soundtrack for A Tribute to Jack Johnson that absolutely fucking rawks. If you don’t know it already have a taste.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=up9yWDl0jBc&pp=ygUjdHJpYnV0ZSB0byBqYWNrIGpvaG5zb24gbWlsZXMgZGF2aXM%3D
Only at Glibertarian World Headquarters can you get a discussion comparing and contrasting Blaqsploitation to the French New Wave.
Nice to have a Cool and Bop Monday.
Trump drowned those people, and he’s coming for you
Years before the flooding took more than 90 lives in Kerr County, Texas, local officials knew residents faced threats from rapidly rising water. They started planning a flood warning system, one that could alert residents when a flash flood was imminent.
Still, like many other communities around the country, Kerr County struggled to find a way to pay for it. They turned to the largest source available for most localities: funding from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).
That county did not spend a single penny which could have been used for an alert system. Trump wouldn’t let them.
FedGov is not your nanny. Pay for your own shit.
This is the correct answer. I bet if you took up a collection right now standing on the bodies of those children you could raise enough cash to add flash flood warnings to the myriad other alerts that everyone already ignores on their phone.
All over my state we have electronic messaging things across the highways to tell us when little Mary Sue stayed too long at her dads house. No one pays any attention to them, because one red SUV looks just like another. Now, how much did that cost?
Amber Alerts, and now there is gonna be Black Amber alert. How much to replace that shit with flash flood warnings? Especially if you are in a damn flood zone?
Even during the Biden years, Trump and his minions were ruining everything as their power grew.
STEVE SMITH BONK SILLY WOMAN ON HEAD WITH ROCK.
One headline I saw was lamenting that the campers were alone when disaster struck.
No shit. When things go sideways, there is no safety net. You’ve got you, and those around you.
How its Trump’s fault that they didn’t get this done years before he took office (again), is an exercise for the reader.
No, you can’t leave it too the reader. They must be told, not think!
No one can do their own research!
Kerr County’s funding application was turned down by Texas officials in charge of administering the federal funds. As with most of FEMA’s programs, there was more demand for money than was available. Kerr County looked into a Texas state grant program for flood projects, but gave up when they learned it would cover only a small portion of the cost.
Spend our own money?! Are you nuts?
“there was more demand for money than was available”
Yeah, there always is regardless of how much is available.
Not mentioned:
When Kerr County’s application was turned down. Presumably not in the last few months.
Even if it were in the past few months, flood control projects like that take a good deal of time, so there wouldn’t have been anything either way in such a case.
Yay Snoopy!
That dog makes me happy.
Hooray for the selling of the house and getting CAS&M out of your life. Glad everything went smoothly.
Even if Texas were to construct all the needed flood projects, climate experts say it wouldn’t fully protect residents. That’s because many projects don’t take climate change into account. In a hotter climate, rainfall has already gotten more intense in Texas. Still, many communities use outdated rainfall records to design their projects and calculate what kind of storms they should endure.
Slush fund fudge factor.
Hedge(fund)ing their bets.
Re banking on the phone.
Yes, it is insecure. I don’t argue this. HOWEVER, now every single fucking bank makes you have to have your phone to log into your account on the web. I’m fucking sick and tired of having to have a texted passcode to get into my account. It’s just easier to do it on the phone.
@Pat
I hate randomly generated passwords. I use actual words, sometimes in other languages, a special character, and a system of numbers (the DIY hash) that change every time I create a password. I can remember those for the most part.
@Ksuellington
Yes, I saw the movie and I used that entire soundtrack (although I don’t think I got it from the Lincoln commercial) while writing 1520 Main and one of the section titles is “Elevator to the Gallows.”
@TOK, I am disappoint. Now I have FOUR of you in my ear. My husband, @shpip, husband’s dudebropal, and now you.
The best puns are opportunistic.
Deliberate setup diminishes them.
@shpip tells shaggy-dog stories. I did one of those for a creative writing class, and my first prof loved it. The second prof…not so much.
I’m going to be honest. However many times I’ve heard the term “shaggy dog story” I never could figure out what defines one, as it seems people have used different definitions each time.
A shaggy-dog story starts off with a throwaway Thing. The Thing is immaterial to the rest of the story, which may or may not have a point but APPEARS to be going somewhere. The end of the story has NOTHING to do with the story and has ONLY to do with the throwaway Thing. For lack of a better word, it’s the punchline to the Thing. It’s the opposite of a MacGuffin.
MY shaggy-dog story is structured like this:
– girl has lunch with a friend at a Korean restaurant, she asks the waiter what she’s eating, waiter says dog (71 words)
– girl goes about her day, various character sketches, an action scene, musings on this, that, and some other thing (1517 words)
– girl goes home, calls her mother to ask how her dog is doing, but her mother prevaricates and instead tells her about the new Korean restaurant down the street, and that the dog will turn up eventually (110 words)
That the story is a “shaggy-dog” story and the fact that it’s about a missing dog and what she had for lunch is entirely coincidental. I had never heard of a shaggy-dog story before I turned that in and he told the class, “This is a shaggy-dog story.”
I pulled a Pee-Wee Herman. “I meant to do that!”
Sorry! You should have seen this coming as I regularly participate in pun threads. I find about one in three people find me hilarious. Not my wife or kids though.
Pictured: TOK eating out with his family:
https://www.liveabout.com/thmb/tM9msf8Kk7Ibc0mk2Nb46DaXlWY=/1500×0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/dadjoke-5928d4313df78cbe7e2f80c5.png
That looks more like SugarFree to me.
Try again:
https://i0.wp.com/winkgo.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/dad-joke-memes-08.jpg?resize=768%2C574&ssl=1
It is nice that you finally have a resolution. There is hope yet for my parallel situation, too. We’re still struggling with my kid, but this week she’s started a flurry of medical appointments, including a psych eval next month. Today she got an application for subsidized housing.
Excellent! Are you driving this train or is she or are you working together?
My sister in law is coordinating all the medical stuff and the apartment application. We just deal with the day to day, which is enough.
I need to find your selling secret, Moj. My cabin has been on the market for a couple months, a number of fish but no bites. I think it’s priced too high, rather it is priced too high. I gonna do a couple upgrades and lower the price.
Sometimes you have to let someone else take the wheel, as there is just too much push back directed at the wrong things to help, and you are the focus of too much.
Good on your SIL.
Checks, check
Rotary phone, check.
Stick shift (up to ten speed and that weird pattern in the M35 truck) check.
Cursive. Don’t make me go back to the third grade and have an argument with my teacher.
My lower grade teachers insisted all work would be done in cursive at higher grades – but none of it was. I have never encountered it in the wild outside of hsitorical documents.
The only advantage it has is when you have a quill or fountain pen it allows you to finish the word without lifting the nib off the paper too often. The invention of the ball-point pen made cursive obsolete. It is also damn hard to read because the letters all blend together and look alike.
𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓁, 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉’𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝑜𝓅𝒾𝓃𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝓂𝒶𝓃.
I can write a check, but I don’t.
I used to drive a stick, but too much nerve damage.
I used rotary phones growing up, long past other kids getting push button.
Never could really do cursive, barely can print. All of it looks unfit for chicken scratch.
“Never could really do cursive, barely can print. All of it looks unfit for chicken scratch.”
Well you are a doctor.
Crank phones on the farm
Stick on the Allis-Chalmers so I learned at a young age
Left handed cursive, I had excellent teachers 5–6th grade and they made no exceptions for left handed, just taught cursive so it was easy.
I write very few checks and my handwriting has suffered from lack of use and the accumulating days.
John Calvin was born on this date in 1509.
He was quite the influential theologian, but that was his lot in life.
Thanks for these, Mo, and especially happy the County Aunt sitch has finally come to an end. Big Things, and hope ya can enjoy the respite.
Tolerant San Franciscans are at it again. https://www.sfgate.com/food/article/sf-swan-oyster-depot-trump-hat-backlash-20764984.php
lol Bullshit.
Coming up to Morgantown, MD for the night. Other than losing my phone and two cards to a roller coaster, this vacation was a rousing success. Many Big Moments, particularly of the Uncle variety. 4yo has zero fear of the ocean, despite getting rocked around. Naturally trusts me and we had a great time. Busch Gardens being lineless was the best amusement park experience of my life. Damn. Big Things. Sunset over the ocean from the top of a spectacular coaster perch, before the drop? Yes’m, please. (Was also the 12yos fave moment.)
Return to Carmel tomorrow. I hope to finally catch up on sleep before my 3:48am work alarm on Sunday.
I *do* have another, different location, collagen injection procedure on Thurs, which I hope does something, which the last didn’t.
And I’ve got a voca Rehab appointment next week, which could be something, or nothing, but I suspect it’ll be at least *interesting,* one way or another. Interesting times, indeed, but nicely oddly with upside.
Why not $200m? How about $1bn?
Freed from ICE detention, Mahmoud Khalil files $20 million claim against Trump administration
Government got an extra 5 T so it won’t cost anything