Before dawn we left our apartment to make our way on foot to the bike shop where we were scheduled to take a two hour bike tour in the Mexican countryside. Locals were setting up food stands to feed the construction workers who were building the apartment blocks that are springing up like weeds in the beach town of Bucerias.
At the bike shop we picked up our bikes and met the rest of our posse: a couple Canadians and an Englishman with a Harry Potter accent. Our guide, one of the Canucks, gave us an overview of our route and a primer on the kinds of speedbumps, or topes, that we’d encounter. There were two kinds of topes. The first consisted of two rows of metal hemispheres which were slightly offset. If you take them at an angle, who can avoid the bump. The second kind is the line of asphalt across the road, rarely marked. You need to watch for brake lights of the cars ahead of you to know where they are.
Right out the gate we headed up a cobblestone street that really scrambled the huevos. At the stoplight we crossed the highway that leads to Puerto Vallarta. A little way down the highway stood The Home Depot as it’s called in Mexico (kind of like The Ohio State University in that neither one was fielding a football team for the remainder of the year). I wonder if Gringos lined up in the parking lot waiting for work.
Soon we were in the countryside surrounded by fields of corn, pineapples and watermelon. The mountains in the hinterland were known for their opium crop, but that didn’t make it down into the valley. Farmers must have been burning their fields as the air smelled of smoke and the sun was a big orange ball over the mountains behind Puerto Vallarta.
A convoy of cops in pickup trucks passed by in the opposite direction adding to the surprising amount of traffic we encountered. The guide said this was only about 30% of the usual weekday traffic as we were in the week between Christmas and New Years, but it still seemed heavy given there weren’t any substantial towns in the direction we were going. Also surprising was the number of recreational cyclists we saw, Mexican and Gringo alike. Fortunately, drivers were mostly respectful except for one guy who came careening into our lane as we crossed over the new toll road that connected the capital of Nayarit with Puerto Vallarta. The guide kept riding two abreast, so apparently he wasn’t too worried about the drivers.
Soon we pulled off to the side for our first break. There was a pile of bras on the side of the road. Apparently someone had quite a party, or maybe they were used as molds for the topes. The guide gave us some instructions about the next section of the ride. Being Canadian he kept mixing up miles and kilometers. The majority prevailed as he settled on kilometers, but dutifully I informed him that there were two kinds of countries: those that put a man on the moon and those that use the metric system.
A couple miles later we rolled into the town of Valle de Banderas like a group of bandidos rolling up on some unsuspecting pueblo. We stormed the center plaza shooting pictures with our cell phones, the locals helpless against the onslaught. Leaving their Christmas decorations behind to suffer their fate, they fled in fear of the old Gringos in shorts. (No Lycra today. I didn’t want to look like a total goon.) Presents pillaged and reindeer defiled, we returned to the main road before turning around to head back to where we started. The Canadians started talking politics, so I decided to drop back to avoid getting sucked in.
Bucerias (pronounced Boocherias, eh in Canuckistani) is like Canadian Florida. I don’t think I’ve seen so many of them in one place, even in Canada. The vendors in the market sold hockey jerseys, and the bar TVs showed hockey. Not just the NHL, but Junior Hockey. And they all wanted to talk about Trump. They were annoyed with the tariffs and his jokes about making Canada a state. “Why does he pick on us? We’re the nicest, most peaceful people.” You can’t fool me. I’ve seen Letterkenny and the Trailer Park Boys.
Back on the road, an ambulance sped past us shortly before returning to town and before long we came upon them blocking the right lane. I couldn’t tell what they were doing in the tall grass. It didn’t appear to be a car wreck. There was no car. Had a cyclist been hit? Did the local mafia dump a body? Beats me. The paramedics waved us around. Sometimes it’s better not to know.
Eventually we crossed the highway again and rattled our way back down the bone-shaking cobbled hill to return our bikes. At the bike shop we received some complementary coffee to go with our scrambled eggs and shot the breeze for a while before going our separate ways, like the posse breaking up at the end of a Western. All in all it was a nice ride. If I go back again I’d like to do a longer ride to get deeper into the countryside if I can get a hall pass.
Is that where the mexicans go to hire some Gringos under the counter for construction work?
Dammit – I should have finished reading before cracking jokes.
I revere to it as The Depot
My brother referred to it as “Home Debit” and joked he should just switch his direct deposit there.
I’m always making a second or third trip while they are shrinking the number and sizes of pipe fittings they have in stock.
I’ve just about given up and gone to mail order on everything rather than to be disappointed that the local stores don’t have what I need. Especially because ten years ago they had it.
first rule of DIY plumbing – buy extra of everything you need and some of things you dont think you need
Second rule of DIY plumbing – when you go back to get what you didn’t get the first time, get what you actually needed
third rule of DIY plumbing – when you go back the third time, get some more glue and primer, because that shit left over from your last fiasco is no good because you didn’t tighten down the lid good enough last year
At the Vegas home I made custom pipe-fitting curtain rods bought in the before times. Those are coming off the wall because its nearly impossible and impractical to make with current inventory and prices.
We stormed the center plaza shooting pictures with our cell phones, the locals helpless against the onslaught.
I needed that laugh.
Did you rape the horses and ride off on the women?
“Are gringos falling from the sky?”
“Yes, El Guapo.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l7e9BD_gos
🙂
Is this a cover for your drug smuggling operation?
Yes, he’s selling black market Ozempic to the Mexicans
Sounds like a job for a fat tire mountain bike.
we were scheduled to take a two hour bike tour in the Mexican countryside
The weather started getting rough?
The Canadians started talking politics, so I decided to drop back to avoid getting sucked in.
Good thinking.
Did you use credit cards in Mexico, green backs or pesos?
On our Canadian fishing trips the outfitters wanted cash dollars, no credit cards. Checks could be used for advanced payments only.
All of the above. Pesos for the buses and restaurants that didn’t take cards. Cards when we could. Dollars when we started running out of pesos. We got pesos through our bank before we left because the rates you get from ATMs or banks in Mexico tend to be worse.
I was on travel in Europe one time. Someone asked me if I was Canadian. I replied that I was American.
I noted that it was an odd question. They responded that they had learned the hard way — Canadians get really huffy if you ask them if they are American. But Americans don’t care if you ask them if they are Canadian. So that’s the safest way to go.
During trips to Ireland and England I was pegged as an American as soon as I opened my mouth. Only one place even gave me a side eye, and then left me alone when they saw that I knew how to behave in a pub. Had some great conversations with locals in both locations.
I think I was in Amsterdam at the time.
No one in England or Ireland ever asked if I was Canadian.
In St. Petersburg I’d line up in the local line for attractions so I could get the local price, which was 10% of the foreigner price. The ticket agents would take one look at me and point me to the foreigner line. My wife was able to get away with it even though she’s not Russian. She even finagled a tour of the Summer Palace from an off duty tour guide which was even cheaper than the Russian price. The only catch was that I had to pretend to be a Slovak pretending to be Russian.
In France, ’60s, GIs were easy to spot, haircut, clothes, etc. People wanting to practice English, especially on the Metro would initiate the conversation and help us travel. Girls were always ready to tell us where to get off, etc.
Denmark seemed like everyone spoke English, even the not so young.
I did get mistaken for a local in Ireland once, oddly. But the best was when all the bridge-and-tunnels assumed I was a NYCer on the subway once.
“NO, I AM FROM SURF BOARDS AND MEXICANS!!” I had to shout so they would understand me better.
While I was in Denmark back in the 90s they swore I was doing my best to impersonate an American and I was really a kinsman just pretending.
Even switching to Danish for bouts of the time while drinking thinking I knew what they hell bisha-basha borgin even means.
We got mistaken for locals in Italy a couple times, why, I dunno.
It’s weirdly flattering.
By my 6th or 7th trip to Moscow, I would have strangers stop me on the street to ask me questions in Russian. I took that to mean I had successfully learned how not to stand out as a foreigner.
I got mistaken for Scottish in Germany once. That is a level of distinction I didn’t even consider was possible.
That’s hilarious and totally believable.
OMG, Mexico!! You’re lucky you survived the cartels and the crime!
Kidding, of course. Look like a nice trip.
I was travelling to Moscow at a time when the Chechens were putting bombs on trolleys. People would asked if that scared me.
I say nah. You’re orders of magnitude more likely to be killed in a taxi accident going to the airport.
Yep.
People talk themselves out of a lot of fun stuff, just because no one ever taught them to do basic risk assessment.
But enough about your social life, Sheldon…
😀
One of our Uber drivers was a gringo living near Puerto Vallarta. I asked him if there was much cartel activity in the area. He said not cartels as we know them, but there are local gangs that tend to keep order in their specific area.
Just like driving through South Central in the 90s to get to the Forum. No one harasses unless you are a dumbass.
Ive been to many areas deemed dangereous by people who never bothered to understand why it is deemed dangerous.
I’m not saying that going to the Forum was dangerous, but a funny thing could definitely happen on the way…
That is perhaps the worst theater piece relative to its fame that’s ever existed.
Thank you, I was hoping someone would get it.
And it’s absolutely no worse than Little Shop of Horrors or The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
There is literally one part that’s even decent and it’s the opening song. The rest is not even garbage, but a vast open space painted taupe. It’s that boring.
LSoH otoh is classic all the way through. Rocky Horror is highly dependent on one’s taste for the absurd.
When your only memorable musical number is at the very beginning, it doesn’t bode well.
However, it’s an easy Charades win. I once guessed it as soon as it was indicated that it was a play with a ten-word title and a small first word.
“no worse than Little Shop of Horrors?”
Wtf? That flick is fucking brilliant. Either you’re being sarcastic, or *whoooosh* went the genius over your head.
Never seen Rocky Horror. Guessing I’d love it w friends n history , but perhaps not on a solo watch.
Tim Curry is fantastic.
He survived Canadians too!
Off topic:
TCL and HiSense were added to the list of forbidden technology for government employees in Texas.
https://justthenews.com/nation/states/center-square/abbott-expands-prohibited-technologies-state-employees
Thats great for the State house, but then those employees go home to those products in their home and freely connect to them.
As always, the weakest link in security is the user.
I’ve got a proposal to fix that…
Practical solutions a specialty
The practical argument for abolition isn’t about ending border security, it’s about a political reset on the issue. Abolishing ICE allows for the reallocation of its budget toward more effective, accountable and less controversial agencies.
Rep. Seth Moulton’s (D-Mass.) recent proposal to divert these funds toward lapsed Affordable Care Act tax credits is a prime example of a practical shift. It trades a high-conflict, low-approval agency for popular, tangible benefits that stabilize the economy.
GENIUS!
room temperature IQ
It’s about ending border security.
It’s about ending borders.
It’s about ending white folks, the nonleftist ones at least.
Border security: clearly in the Federal purview
“Healthcare” for all: bullshit positive-right
Totally a practical shift, you guys. No politics involved.
Less immigration deterrence and more ‘free’ stuff? Why hasn’t anyone tried that before?
Recent polling from The New York Times and Siena University paints a devastating picture for the agency: 61 percent of American voters now disapprove of ICE’s tactics, including 71 percent of Independents.
Author correlates disapproving of ICE’s ‘tactics’ into a desire to abolish the agency entirely.
Oh, I’m sure that desire exists. It’s about as practical as my desire for a magical unicorn that shits 9mm ammo.
Although…how about a trade? You get to abolish ICE, we get to abolish the Department of Education?
Lefties find a poll that supports lefty positions. No way!
Disapprove of the recent antics, but still support deporting every illegal.
I’ll trade ICE for IRS.
Disapprove of the recent antics
Knee-jerk reaction for me is to agree with this sentiment. But then I wonder, how much of the recent antics are completely downstream of the revolutionary guards behavior, from ‘sanctuary’ policies down to rioting in the streets to prevent enforcement of immigration law? Despite the hysterics, I have yet to see concrete evidence of removal/arrest of anyone outside of criminals, without even having to enter into the question of whether illegal is by definition illegal (of course it is, the more relevant question is whether it requires intervention at the level demonstrated).
What exactly should ICE do in relation to ‘recent antics’? Are the recent antics the ‘isolated’ incidences of deadly force or the general enforcement action? Back off the enforcement because of the situations the revolutionaries are enabling/causing? Exhibit more stoic (a few days early) behavior in the face of those situations?
Replace ICE with an army of social workers. That will work.
How did you survive all the attacks by the Chupacabra? Everyone knows that all of Mexico is the hunting ground of the wily Chupathingy.
I don’t think I saw any goats, so I assume the goat sucker already moved through the area and on to more productive hunting grounds.
You don’t have to ride faster than the Chupacabra can run. You just have to ride faster than your slowest friend.
Obligatory.
Surfboards and Mexicans!
So you’re from San Diego?
We have had a hell of an article blast down here since friday night night. Single digit temps. Snow friday night, inches of sleet Saturday evening, then more snow Sunday day, paired with a bit of sunshine to melt a bit of it then a plunge to single digit temps since.
One benefit has been the hard crust of ice on top of about 5 inches of snow have improved greatly both the top speed and the range of the red terror.
https://imgur.com/gallery/ipMW8yC. Saturday afternoon
https://imgur.com/gallery/qMwoXWN. Sunday afternoon
https://imgur.com/gallery/bbW7GlX. Monday afternoon
I thought that might end up going like this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqMW_XRS9RY
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
I need to find a good sledding hill.
One year, I’m going to convince the girlfriend to do the tobogganing run in the parks here.
Like the legend of the champagne saucer!
You mean the coupe glass?
(At least that’s the one I always heard the rumor attached to).
same same
I guess so. I seem to remember a variant that had a more pronounced nipple indentation in the center than modern coupes do.
Not Adahn:
The coupe glasses I’ve picked up have a small nipple ridge in the center (that works perfectly as a holding point for a garnish) that swells up a bit before dropping back for the bowl and curves up on the outside.
I really like glassware. But when I moved here I realized I only ever use a 20oz mug and a whiskey glass 360+ days of the year.
I have boxes full of nice unused items filling my basement. And my drinking vessel cabinet in my kitchen is full for when guests visit.
Comment moderation for a comment about snow sled ballistics? For shame
Did you use a non-nutritive cereal varnish on the runners?
Three links, that’s what got it caught. It’s been approved.
They’re baying for Noem’s scalp.
How hard could it be to say, “We don’t know. An investigation is in progress”?
Seem kind of unfair. Obama never needed to wait for facts before pronouncing judgement.
Deservedly so. Her comments about ‘a massacre’ were out-and-out cop sucking.
Kristi has used up all her slack with me. Trump should fire her dumb ass and hire someone competent (LOL, I know…)
Probably right. She should leave the off-putting hot takes to her boss.
Kristi has used up all her slack with me.
Same. She spoke at FreedomFest in 2021 (South Dakota) and I found her sort of off-putting. Nothing identifiable, just sort a dog-sense – “this is an empty vessel, devoid of independent thought, integrity”. Just a mild unease around her.
Of course, one has to be careful judging based on those sorts of indirect impressions (but don’t be too quick to dismiss them either – you have them for an evolutionary reason), but nothing she has done since has swayed me from that impression either.
She’s an damned idiot.
I doubt their heckler’s veto is gonna go anywhere.
Skier mauled by snow leopard after getting too close for a picture
But it looked so cute and cuddly!
https://nypost.com/2026/01/26/world-news/skier-mauled-by-snow-leopard-after-getting-too-close-for-a-picture/
https://x.com/nicksortor/status/2016212959706439801
But that makes him a victim . . . .
Not in my book.
Or a Hero of the Revolution…
EvilSheldon has it figured out.
He loved what he was trained to do. Who *wouldn’t* love taking on Hitler’s Gestapo on their quest to vanquish evil?
Predictably useful Idiots on crusade.
Yes, he was a rabble rouser and a jackass when it comes to politics. He still didn’t deserve to get shot for what he did.
“Deserved”? No.
But fighting with law enforcement while you’re armed is a bad idea and with getting shot a not-unexpected outcome.
Of course and all the stupider because all he had to do was walk away but demonizing the guy in order to justify the unjustifiable is slimy.
“Deserve’s got nothing to do with it”
That is precisely what ran through my head, Forescore.
‘Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valor’
We’ve all probably said something like,
“What I should have said” or “What I should have done” when reviewing actions with our boss. Luckily we didn’t and still kept our jobs.
If I have all the facts correct (and that’s a fair if,) then the actual shooting of Preti was the conclusion of a lightning-strike level of unlucky circumstances – namely, that his gun may have AD’d after he had been disarmed, but while he was still in a tangle with the cops.
(Although, did his gun mechanically malfunction as SIG P320s are prone to do when roughly handled? Or did the cop who disarmed him maybe have his finger on the trigger when it shouldn’t have been? Something to consider.)
If you’re grappling with someone, and you reasonably believe that they have a gun, and you further reasonably believe that they’re shooting that gun, does the law allow you to shoot them in self defense? Yeah, it does. Self defense, even lethal self defense, doesn’t require perfect knowledge.
Is there evidence that the dude’s gun N/AD’d? Or is that a pre-emptive excuse for one of the other BPs NDing their own service weapon?
Once upon a time I was having a serious discussion with a long time but under performing employee. Things got a little heated but not on my part.
The employee said, “I’m gonna take a hike”. I said, “Leave your key”.
His brother, the store manager, in defense of the employee, tried to push back on me. I told him when an employee walks away with a surly/sarcastic remark I take that as a resignation. A week or two later the store manager brother resigned.
My boss was happy about with a change in store management as sales increased.
I was on the flip side of that once, boss yelled at me to get out because I wouldn’t help him cheat on a certification exam. I got a call the next day around mid-morning asking where I was.
Im working on a piece and not finding the “save draft” function.
Can someone give
Me a hand?
Under the three dots to the left of the Publish rectangle there is no save draft.
If I select the publish rectangle does it open a secondary menu?