Genre – Thriller
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hour 38 Minutes
Spoilers – Yes
“Inspired by True Events”. So, a lie. Just claim your fiction, man.
Anyway, another Blockbuster Bargain Bin buy. At least I remembered it was a movie about a train starring Denzel Washington. That puts it a step above a lot of movies in this list where I go “I have no idea what this is”. Never watched it, I know that for sure. Some white guy who I think at one point was supposed to be the next big thing in Hollywood wakes up in southern Pennsylvania. I don’t know who he is, so I’ll call him NBT. The woman he calls declines to answer. Whenever this is set it’s the era of flip phones. NBT gets a cold welcome from his new co-workers as he’s apparently a nepobaby while others are getting laid off.
In between scenes with Denzel and NBT we get a school field trip boarding a train. I expect trouble. Other guys moving trains don’t connect the air brakes as they start moving. NBT and Denzel are apparently train drivers on a different freight train from the one with no brakes. Brakeless spots a set of track points that would send him to the wrong tracks, so he set the throttle to some idle setting and gets out of the moving train to fat man jog towards the switch. While I know the next shot of the throttle lever snapping back to running from idle is meant to be part of a theme of ill-maintenance of this engine (he had to reattach a lever earlier and had radio troubles), it looked more like the train was possessed and switched mindfully. Instead of brakeless, this is now the Demon Train. And we got no monks available to suplex it.
Demon Train gets away from Ethan Suplee and goes on down the line. It is headed towards the field trip train. The railroad dispatches redneck to switch the runaway to a side line. They still think the idle “independent” brakes are set. The Demon Train is still accelerating as we find out it’s loaded in hazardous materials. Ethan reaches Redneck and everyone figures out that it’s at full throttle. The field trip barely diverts in time to avoid being splattered.
Guy with Ethan tries to board at speed, but it’s way too early in the movie for that to work. They lose a door of their truck to a signal post. Denzel and NBT argue about NBT adding too many cars until they are diverted to get out of the Demon Train’s path. We get an update on how bad the hazardous materials are. As they’re debating what to do about the train, Redneck arrives at a crossing where an inattentive driver crashes into a horse trailer and knocks it onto the tracks. Of course, the train’s about to arrive, and the horses are panicked. There’s a nail biter as they try to get the horses out of the way, but the trailer’s toast.
However much they want to build up the tension, this whole scene struck me as almost parody. “How do we have the train hit things now that everyone knows there’s a runaway on the line?” Ah, yes, contrivances. Redneck races to get ahead of the train again. Denzel and NBT argue about whether they will fit on the side track with all their cars, and they find out the Demon Train is moving faster, hitting seventy.
The company attempts to get an engine in front of the train to hook up at speed with another driver on a helicopter to get dropped on. But neither of these characters are those we’ve been following, so, narratively I know it’s a problem. With only the brakes on the new engine, they have trouble bleeding off speed. The air-drop employee gets injured and the brakes on the new engine start burning out. New Engine is derailed and Demon Train rolls on. NBT’s train is closing with the Demon Train, trying to reach a cutoff to get out of the way. They get their front end off the main line as the Demon Train rips off the last fifteen cars.
The company plan is to try to derail the Demon Train, but Denzel’s convinced it won’t work but saw that the last coupler was open and decides to try to couple themselves to the back and pull against the main engine. The company argues against this plan, but they have no means to interfere directly. While they chase the Demon Train, we get backstory for NBT’s domestic problems. Seems an odd time for a heart to heart.
In other questionable decisions, the company set up a derailer on the line. Emergency services knows it’s there, knows the train is carrying nasty stuff, but at the site of the derailer, there are emergency services without protective gear in insane proximity to the line. Lucky for them Denzel was right about the derailer not working. Another filmmaking problem – the trains in the movie are clearly not moving the speeds being reported in the script because it’d be too dangerous to actually run them that fast. At least undercrank a few shots where there aren’t people visible to make it look right. I also get bugged by the news helicopters being flown at train height instead of their usual safe altitudes.
As they approach the populated area blessed with a 15mph curve, we get a dynamic linking scene as the ill-maintained couplers refuse to cooperate. NBT is injured getting it linked, and is forced to tape up his injuries while they try to fight the Demon Train’s engine, which is still at full throttle. NBT suggests hooking to the manual brakes on the freight cars, but since his foot is messed up Denzel has to go out and crank them down one car at a time. While he’s doing so, the brakes on NBT’s engine blow out, having been overstressed.
They hit the curve too fast and try their last braking option. The train goes up on one set of wheels, shedding cargo from tie-down flatbeds on the curve. Denzel continues running along the cars to try to get to the front engine as they’re picking up speed again. Only the layout of the cargo means Denzel can’t get there.
Redneck arrives on the scene, having NBT jump into the truck bed and racing to get to the front of the train. NBT jumps and hangs from the engine’s rails before climbing into the cab to finally kill the power. Cue happy endings.
Credits tell me that NBT was Chris Pine. This is the only thing I’ve seen him in, but that annoying voice was distinctive enough that it struck that “I’ve heard him somewhere” chord. I don’t think he has another appearance in this collection.
Overall, it was a decent movie. It did it’s job. I nitpicked because that’s what I do. It won’t win GOAT or anything, but you should be entertained.
I missed the opportunity to joke about not seeing RoaT in the movie.
I only thought of it just now.
Mea Culpa.
My part was cut.
What, came in at the tail end?
Sounds exciting enough, but given the choice, I think I’d prefer to watch Buster Keaton. One advantage: no annoying voices.
He had a nice deep voice. But talk or not talk to me about BK all day. Rowr.
Buster Keaton was amazing.
Not Silver Streak?
I’ve only seen bits and pieces of that one (mainly Gene Wilder in blackface,) so I reserve judgment.
Ah, Buster and the rails. I know that watching The Railrodder was easily the highlight of my Canadian Geography class in high school.
😞
This one works for me. 😁
Ah damn, that’s what I get for linking the Canadian Film Board’s video. There are a bunch of others. Is this better?
That works, too. Thanks!
Much of early BK should be in public domain by now.
And The General did a good job recreating an actual event (an attempt to steal a Confederate train engine for nefarious purposes). It didn’t end well for the Northern saboteurs.
Agreed.
Inspired by True Events.
Based on a true story.
Either of these sentences make me lose interest immediately.
Fargo?
That one I finished. Not bad. At the time I watched it, I was trying to watch everything I could with Peter stormare in the cast.
At least the Cohens admitted that was an outright fabrication in that movie. Part of their sense of humor.
Not a Chris Pine fan, but I enjoyed his acting in the 2023 Dungeons and Dragons movie.
It’s like not being a Will Farrell fan, but loving Stranger than Fiction.
Old School was pretty good but yeah I would struggle thinking of anything else I liked him in.
Worth reposting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CjoRdcgtmQ
Pine was Kirk in the J J Abrams Star Trek movies, so you may have seen him there.
And he wears a ridiculous wig in “Bottle Shock”, but I like the movie anyway.
I stopped watching Trek at Insurrection. Had no interest in Lensflareverse
He’s annoying and obnoxious in it, if that helps.
He was good in Wonder Woman, I thought.
Likewise.
I also enjoyed the Abrams Startrecks and DnD.
Murdock’s latest gig?
Cue Theme Music?
🤘😜
I’ll just watch The Taking of Pelham 123 again.
Gesundheit
I immediately thought of the awful remake with Denzel and would you believe it was the same director as this movie? (Which I have not seen.)
A Walter Matthau crime movie revue would be a fun time. The Taking of Pelham 123, Charley Varrick, maybe Charade?
Charade is awesome.
All 3 of those are good.
Buddy Buddy
Charade, best Hitchcock film AH never made.
Pelham is awesome, but check out The Emperor of the North Pole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SBVpNAwmoY
Filmed in Culp Creek!
And so it begins.
Hosing down driveway weeds and clearing clearing some of the tangled mess in the back yard. I think a large part of it is some sort of wild pea vine. A couple of sunny days and everything grows like mad.
“I think a large part of it is some sort of wild pea vine.”
That’s what she said.
Ahem. Ask Yusef / Bob, if he wants to tell it.
I had always understood that locomotive air brakes activate if the system loses pressure. Which means the entire plot is impossible.
Ehh, whatever.
Isn’t that the dead-man brake?
Negative braking uses pressure to release the brakes. When the pressure fails springs force the brakes to apply.
DDG CSX 8888 for the real incident. The set up for the incident is pretty accurate. Then the liberties started getting taken from there. Long and short of it, some dipshit basically set a train up for a 65 mile ghost ride over a 2 hour period. Also, there was 2 cars full of the molten phenol in the bunch of rail cars.
It’s both. Pressure reduction cause actuation but also needs air to apply.
That’s why manual brakes need to be set on certain number of engines and cars when parked.
Train geeks!!!
WTF? You have a history of describing things well. I have zero clue wtf this movie’s about. I’m perplexed at your semi-enjoyed reaction. Is the train haunted? Why are the two trains in danger? Is there a conniving plan to hack and control it to kill folk? Who’s the baddie? Or it is just a fucked up train? Oh. Two trains. And fucking horses almost get run over?! Uh. Huh.
I can see just watching and enjoying ‘exciting, well-shot and executed’ thrill action scenes being fun, even if they don’t make sense. Car chases are fun, too. I also don’t know what NBT is. Much confusion, do I have.
From wiki’s synopsis to tie things up for me, I find: “Will leaps onto Triple 7’s engine, gains control, and brings the runaway train to a stop.” Wait. You can get on top of the engine and turn it off while it’s still running? Uh. They just have switches *on* the engine? Or he jumps on the engine car and someone turns it off properly? Why not just do that to start with?! (So, it’s clearly not that. Or is, cuz the movie’s dumb.)
*throws hands up* Fuck it. Then this: “In the aftermath, Will reunites with Darcy and their son, learning that she’s pregnant with their second child.”
*Door of theater shuts, steady footsteps as Evan walks away* ‘That’s it. Fucking retarded. WHY. I’m outta here. Yeah, I’m not putting up with this. Call the other guy, I don’t care.’
*or he jumps on the engine car to gain access to the proper controls
Half of the stuff you see in movies isn’t really true, they sort of fake it.
Nah, nah, on that one. Look at the Anaheim Ducks. Willy Wonka, for that matter. Prescient sages, that Hollywood lot.
Truthsayers.
Huh. I suppose it’s really well made. “Director Quentin Tarantino highlighted the film in a January 2020 episode of the Rewatchables podcast, and included it in his list of the ten best of the decade.[64] In June 2021, he named it one of his favorite “Director’s Final Films”.[65] Christopher Nolan also praised the film (particularly its use of suspense), citing it as an influence for his film Dunkirk.[66]
Big Nolan fan and I absolutely love Dunkirk. I can see ‘Speed on a Train’ being fun.
Reading synopses through UCS’ voice might not be the best metric for film quality. *adds to Reminder List, next to ‘Gravity Wins’*
🙇♂️
I’m sorry the summary lost you.
No worries. I’ll find it and myself where I last look.
Just got out of the theatre after watching Project Hail Mary.
You guys were right. It’s excellent and family friendly.
I’ll be taking the boy this week. I hope it’s not too dry for him. Hit me in all the feels.
When I hear family friendly I think seconder friendly.
Only language was “oh my god” maybe three times, one mention of hooking up.
Solid story, self sacrifice, best of a bad situation.
The use of flashbacks/returning memories was well done.
Glad you enjoyed this edition of the unwatched episode.
Apparently there is a proposed sin tax on Only Fan “models” in Florid. 50% tax on whoring.
The whores are up in arms about it. I could rattle off like a dozen sin taxes the same people would agree with.
Asshole governor candidate putting this out there outright says it’s meant as a deterrent to the line of work.
We’ve come full circle where the MAGA-ites are back to the moralizing while simultaneously supporting a reality TV billionaire who bragged about paying girls to abort in his younger days.
Banning things through ridiculous taxes should never have been allowed in the first place. It’s highly ironic that we ushered in the era of democracy over ridiculous taxes from the pompous British crown (who had more legitimate reasons to be levying them on us than modern politicians do) only to see democracy used as a justification for tax rates that would have made even the greediest monarch blush.
Or the future tyrant king taking 10% of your crops (income). We should be so lucky.
1 Samuel 8:17
If OnlyFans models are making the ridiculous bank that various rags like the Mail are claiming, they’d be stupid not to tax the everloving shit out of it.
https://x.com/realcandaceo/status/2040918596239446051
🍿
King ZOG!! Popcorn indeed.
Time for him to build some castles.
With Trump libraries, the biggliest presidential libraries you’ve ever seen, with museums of life size photos supported by eloquent speeches and selfies taken with random people in random places doing routine things masterfully.
Morning, Glibs.
*waves*
How are things this morning?
Eh…it’s a Monday morning 😏. How about you?
I woke up with my alarm, got my morning routine done, and am able to sit around on glibs before I have to get on the road.
There have been worse mornings.
Happy Monday!
Good morning, U, Sean, Ted’S., and homey! (and maybe Roat?)
Morning.
How goes?
Mornin’ all y’all.
Hopefully the last cool day of winter and last day of sub freezing for a high temp.
Get up and get down with the Glibness!
🤘🫨🕺🏻
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh_-IoHD6oM
🎶🎶
Be a winner!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHTcQB_4AFw&list=RDLWCj03Akj-8&index=3
That’s redundant, all Glibs are winners!
suh’ fam
whats goody
I’m not home to enjoy all the excitement.
Ohio’s first Buc-ee’s location to officially open
It’s on the wrong side of Dayton.
Actually Huber Heights, but part of the metropolitan area. If Dayton has one.
Is there a right side of Dayton?
Of course there is, TedS – The side opposite Huber Heights.
Oh, for pity’s sake! It’s listed on WHIO’s Traffic web page as an “Event” along with all the warnings about road construction and accidents. I understand people started lining up last night. What do they think this is? A new iPhone? 🙄
It’s a novelty.