
This is a subject near and dear to my heart. Fast food fries, most particularly McDonald’s fries, demand ketchup. And on the road, you are most likely resigned to packets. But it must be done.
Spud: “I have no problem squirting ketchup from a packet into my mouth and then adding fries. Perfect way to eat them on the road.”
Playa Manhattan: “The FUCK is wrong with you? NO FUCKING KETCHUP ON THE ROAD. No exceptions.”

Discuss. The floor is yours.


I don’t put ketchup on fries, period.
Me neither, I dip the fries in the ketchup. People who pour the ketchup on the fries should be deported.
Me three. Ketchup, fancy or not, is gross.
Mustard is the way to go.
This is the way, only exception is Chick-fil-A Polynesian or Honey Mustard.
Zwak, people who dip fries in mustard are also being deported.
I don’t dip the fries, either.
You eat fries like a Euro? With mayonnaise?
You’re eating the Carbs?
😱
They’re eating the carbs, they’re eating the fries!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc1W_Pys88U
Until I met him, I didn’t know Playa was white. And I definitely wasn’t expecting him to be fratty.
Dayum. You just nailed him. “Fratty white boy” is Playa to a t.
Yep.
He’s a good guy though.
Beach business casual with an emphasis on casual.
If anyone is wondering, it only costs $5 for DEG to compliment you on the internet. Money well spent.
A-1 sauce on fries.
It also goes well with education!
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/04/12/linda-mcmahon-a1-instead-of-ai/83059797007/
Five Guys got me hooked on A1 for burgers and malt vinegar for fries.
Penn Station East Coast Subs make decent subs, but their fries are incredible (with malt vinegar).
I find this… triggering!
https://apnews.com/article/michigan-zoom-meeting-pandemic-gun-64a1443b3d11cbee630f43fbf7566459
Also I don’t care one way or the other with fries. With ketchup or without is fine. I also like malt vinegar and gravy. And nothing wrong with poutine.
“When two stupid people love each other very much, they get together and make a little lawsuit.”
At the expense of their constituents.
Yet another case of, ‘I hate every single person in this story.’
Most of all, I hate the judge that didn’t toss the suit and slap sanctions on the plaintiff and her attorney.
Gravy is the best. Pork chop, beef, sausage… all great.
Did she think he would shoot her through the screen?
It also goes well with education!
So Kooky.
Mrs. TOK and I used to take a ton of road trips in our younger days, and we developed an excellent system. Assuming that eating “on the road” means the vehicle is in motion and not pulled over somewhere:
The copilot was in charge of assisting the driver with their meal. Peeling back the wrapper from a burger and handing it to the driver, that sort of thing. No ketchup on the fries. The exception was if there were chicken nuggets, the driver could put the nugget box in their lap and have a sauce packet open, and dip fries in that.
It was a lot of hours on the road without smart phones, don’t judge.
I do the same. Open ketchup in the car is an unnecessary spill risk.
We, mostly me, decided a long time ago that we could stop long enough to eat, I hate driving and eating.
Only time I didn’t was when I was driving a U-Haul with all of our stuff inside and my 1973 Charger on a trailer while she had the kids.
I did have the rottweiler with me, but he was an excellent travel partner.
I could only go about 50mph, so I was living on gas station sandwiches eaten while driving and she would stop for meals.
She still beat me to the hotels.
“Only time I didn’t was when I was driving a U-Haul with all of our stuff inside and my 1973 Charger on a trailer while she had the kids.”
It’s really a tough call to who had it the better ride there.
Traveling in the military, doing this same thing, there was usually some point along the way where I had to stop and trade one of the kids for the dog, because the kids were fighting and the wife was ready to have a nervous breakdown.
I think I might have told the story here before about the dog getting sick in the cab of the U-Haul and almost shitting in my daughter’s lap.
The laughing and puking while my wife cleaned out the cab of the U-Haul is a story we tell every year when the family gets together.
“we could stop long enough to eat, I hate driving and eating”
Concur. Eating anything while driving creates a mess. I think I can spare the 20 minutes to eat fast food. Or, depending on the trip, an hour to eat regular food.
Mrs JI and I still use a similar approach.
I’ll go so far as to say, fries are not road food.
When you’re not on the road? Sriracha ketchup. Thank me later.
I prefer chipotle ketchup to sriracha, but both are acceptable.
Chipotle ketchup is good too, but either way I like to make my own, rather than pay for the pre-packaged stuff.
That stuff is good.
Valentina+ketchup is the best.
I also makes the best hot wing sauce with Valentina.
Rao’s arrabiata ketchup is the pinnacle of the ketchup maker’s art. Thick, spicy, *chef’s kiss*.
Cholula on fries, rings, chicken strips, you name it. Never liked catsup, but dipping fries in BBQ sauce is good.
BBQ is too sweet for me, but otherwise you are correct.
Cholula is great.
At 1 pm EDT, I get to leave work for the day to go to a hair appointment. My habit on these days is to drive through Raising Cane’s and order a kid’s meal. I always eat the fries first and dip them in the Cane’s sauce. I don’t care if there’s any sauce left for the chicken fingers. 😋🍟
I had some Steak ‘N Shake fires last month – cooked with beef tallow. Very good for fastfood fries.
https://www.steaknshake.com/seed-oils/
Pro tip: if ordering to go, eat S-n-S fries on the way home.
Hotter the better.
Pepperidge Farm remembers!
MOVE at 40: ‘You don’t have to drop the bomb,’ helicopter pilot warned city in lead-up to deadly Philly attack
https://whyy.org/articles/move-bombing-philadelphia-helicopter-pilot-warning/
Somebody set up them the bomb?
The Gap Band.
Amazing they needed advice not to bomb a row house. F**king morons.
Oz band Eurogliders did a song about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzrCjeo-bO4
I remember the MOVE bombing too.
Suicide
House Republicans are calling for billions of dollars in funding cuts for Biden-era climate and environmental programs, including clean energy tax credits, as lawmakers seek to reverse what one GOP leader called “the most reckless parts of the engorged climate spending” approved under former President Joe Biden.
Environmental groups warned the proposals would pave the way for more oil and gas industry activity on public lands and increase planet-warming greenhouse gas emissions in the United States.
——-
House Speaker Mike Johnson has set a Memorial Day deadline to pass President Donald Trump’s big bill of tax breaks and spending cuts, and the GOP has scheduled round-the-clock hearings this week on various sections of the bill before they are stitched together in what will become a massive package.
It’s not a budget, it’s a tax breaks and spending cuts bill, explicitly intended to destroy the government and poison the environment.
Just spitballing here…an idea that idly crossed my mind….
“The Green New Deal is hereby repealed. Period. ”
Where is my fucking Obamacare repeal. I was promised a repeal. I still want it and will never shut up about it until I get it.
As dumb as Obamacare was in the first place, every argument about repealing it is almost as dumb.
Too bad for them the public ain’t buying that shit anymore.
What spending cuts?
This country could never survive govt spending at the 2019 level.
Fries, ketchup. The only acceptable substitute is tartar sauce but only allowed in an emergency.
It is also acceptable to add tabasco sauce to the ketchup.
malt vinegar in some situations
Malt vinegar in all situations.
@Neph: correct.
Non!
Malt vinegar is good on single-fried raw potatoes and other eat-with-a-fork-soggy fries. Crisp fries need a sauce that doesn’t de-crispify them.
Malt vinegar with fish and chips.
False proposition, NA. There are no non-soggy fries, and, once again, mustard is the only proper condiment.
Vinegar is used to dissolve rust, that is all.
You are definitely doing something wrong.
Although I prefer onion rings.
May-Oh-Naze!
Ron, if I wanted a potato chip, I would get a potato chip.
Vinegar is used to dissolve rust, that is all.
Laughs at man not realizing how much vinegar is in mustard.
Some drive-thrus have the ketchup that comes in little dipping containers. That is the way they all should be.
CFA FTW.
Exactly. Nothing edible has ever been packaged in those little packets. That you can’t even open them sometimes should be a clue.
The Republican move to loosen pollution standards “would mean more smog in our streets,” while cuts to environmental justice block grants “would force low-income communities to pay more for dirtier energy,” she added. “Republicans are sacrificing clean energy on the altar of Big Oil to bankroll another round of tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy.”
Alexandra Adams, chief policy advocacy officer at the Natural Resources Defense Council, said the Energy and Commerce bill “gives polluters free rein to foul the air and water.” Cleaning up U.S. ports and reducing dangerous methane spewing from oil and gas wells have traditionally received bipartisan support, she said.
*yawn*
Yup. Complete horseshit. They want to pretend it’s still 1955 instead of what they are really doing which is chasing the last 0.0001% of planet-cooking gases at enormous expense.
Walter Kirn’s recent comments on ‘immiserators’ seems appropriate here.
You can rest assured though that every hurricane, forest fire, earthquake, and sick puppy for the next 50 years will be declared to be a direct result of Trumpitler’s shameless slashing of important environmental regulations.
How will we know? He is gutting both NOAA and climate science!
If the US went to zero emissions today it would not make a measurable difference in the production of so called greenhouse gases. China and India are responsible for the vast majority of that. I think China is building 150 coal plants per year.
Who told the joke recently: “Why dont watermelons care about the emissions of China ? A: Because they are already communist.”
Republicans are sacrificing clean energy on the altar of Big Oil to bankroll another round of tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy.
OBJECTION! There was no employment of “Nazi” in that sentence.
Papa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato are walking down the street.
Baby tomato can’t keep up, and papa keeps yelling he needs to catch up.
Baby gets squished by a truck, so papa says: Ketchup!
[ Shpip pats Ron on head and says “Bless his heart” ]
i don’t remember where I heard that joke, but I am nowhere near Shpip level.
Ron, I have heard variations of that ‘joke’ since I was in elementary school.
ron73440:
Most infamously in Pulp Fiction, as an example of the bad jokes that Fox Force Five used to end their episodes.
Don’t be too hard on Ron – he clearly just nearly OD’d on heroin and got stabbed in the chest with a huge fucking needle…
Never saw Pulp Fiction, I have seen the “Say what again!” section and thought that was funny.
So I make a “burger sauce” that I saw on a Binging with Babish episode – mayo, ketchup, paprika, garlic powder, salt, and pepper (probably forgetting a couple things there).
It’s really good on burgers, and not gonna lie, it’s good for dipping fries in as well.
Here’s a pretty good, simple, easy-to-make remoulade:
https://www.seriouseats.com/sauced-louisiana-remoulade-recipe
It’s great on lots of things, probably including fries (never tried).
Remoulade…that reminds me. I need to keep my eyes peeled for green tomatoes. I will have some soon but if I can find them in the grocery store that is even better.
It is time for freed green tomatoes and crawfish remoulade.
Oh damn, definitely gonna have to try that one!
I am convinced that remoulade was invented by some impoverished coonass, mixing together everything he could find in the icebox to try and cure a particularly brutal hangover.
Not to say that it’s not good, though. There was a little pizza-subs place back by where I used to live in Maryland that did a tuna steak sandwich with homemade remoulade, man those were good…
“I am convinced that remoulade was invented by some impoverished coonass, mixing together everything he could find in the icebox….”
You are partially correct. There were no iceboxes then.
Every really good food came about as a happy accident in hard times.
The draft text from the Energy and Commerce committee would reclaim unused billions from several Inflation Reduction Act programs, repeal sections of the Clean Air Act and emphasize support for oil and gas drilling.
The plan also pulls back money for the Energy Department’s multi-billion dollar loan program for clean energy, the Environmental Protection Agency’s Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fund — commonly known as the “green bank” — and certain multistate and offshore wind development.
Muh slush fund!
I like to picture in my mind expensive cars being returned to dealerships, house addition construction projects being cancelled, etc.
Probably a few private jets being sold in used condition, knowing the kind of people in the Big Environment cabal.
Hey, maybe Trump is actually reducing greenhouse emissions by making these fatcats unable to afford personal aircraft!!
Oh yes. At the very least, the Trump administration should have one of its more fanciful assholes cook up an environmental impact study claiming that very thing (reduced expenditures on a whole bunch of luxuries driving down CO2 emissions), and have that saucy blonde press secretary cram it up every reporter’s ass at a press conference.
Why faniciful?
Scratch that, I misread you.
The topping (if any) depends on the type of fries. Our Belgian friends are correct: with their type of fries, mayonnaise is excellent.
I will admit a fondness for beer battered fries.
For the watch freaks among us:
https://archive.is/dgqNs
Yeah, I knew that story with Roger Smith.
I’m not a huge fan of Daniel’s escapement. The service interval is too short compared to a lever escapement. Omega bought the rights because Rolex had its free sprung balance and felt it needed to compete.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coaxial_escapement
Today is International Hummus Day, so the real debate is ketchup on your hummus?
Sriracha, maybe. But not ketchup.
So that’s why the cafeteria had four varieties of hummus today.
From RJ’s link:
So I started jumping in $250,000 increments to try to scare him away.
It apparently worked.
Heinz dip & squeeze cups. Heavy pepper on top of ketchup. If you want a tomato sauce. The best is mayo and the best fries are in Amsterdam in the cone cups with your choice of sauce.
I was about to ask if anyone does mayo on fries.
I BEG TO DIFFER! Belgium, fresh homemade mayo
Playa Manhattan: “The FUCK is wrong with you? NO FUCKING KETCHUP ON THE ROAD. No exceptions.”
This guy probably likes the fries at INO. Too bad his internet is working and no sportsball on, so no appearance from him today.
My internet is working a little too well: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Gq2mNa5WIAANAzh?format=jpg&name=large
Direct fiber to the gateway.
I don’t anticipate it going down much next fall.
Food related:
Our annual Sausage Fest is in 2 weeks. This our picnic where we host all the current and former derby girls and hockey teammates and families. I have to make the sausage this weekend and I’m planning the menu, and I’m uninspired. Anyone have suggestions? So far I’m thinking:
Hawaiian (Mrs. TOK insists)
Loaded Baked Potato (a fan favorite)
Poblano Cheddar
Poblano Peach or Mango
Ranchero (a new idea, I have some dried peppers I’ll rehydrate to make a sauce and use as the liquid)
Other good news, the bottom of my old smoker fell apart last year but Mrs. TOK found a seemingly identical one on Facebook Marketplace and I should be picking that up today. Hopefully it’s the same size and I can use the extra shelves from the last one.
I would probably go with a habanero mango instead of poblano, but I’m guessing the heat tolerance isn’t there among the expected guests. Maybe step it up to jalapeno at a minimum? Maybe do a chorizo patty?
I have done jalapeno too, maybe make one of those jalapeno and one poblano. Good suggestion.
Some people can take heat, I think we have more that think mayo is spicy. It is always a balancing act.
that think mayo is spicy
Those be the whitest white girls I ever heard of.
Luganega https://twoguysandacooler.com/luganega-sausage/
Garlic sausage with basil https://honest-food.net/garlic-sausage-recipe/
That garlic one looks good, I might go with that one.
A good spicy Italian sausage?
That’s one of my usual ones too. It’s easy because I have the spices on hand and there isn’t anything that needs cutting. I’ll probably do 60-70 pounds of meat on Saturday, so adding an easy one will help.
McDonald’s fries (don’t get the hype since they axed the tallow, so I don’t get them at all)
fat fries – mayo
crinkle fries – fry sauce (mayo, ketchup)
waffle fries (no)
OT: “The Pope’s Older Brother” would be a great Glib handle.
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/its-if-god-has-sense-humor
Which president had the embarrassing brother? Was it Clinton or Carter?
Billy Beer
Billy Carter
Clinton just had the blue dress to worry about.
Bill had to worry about Roger
The answer is yes.
W had Jeb.
I forgot about Roger.
Remember the movie ‘The Beekeeper’?
One of the points made in the movie that most people seem to have missed is that the people that seek power and wear $10K silk suits are usually the worst, trashiest kinds of people. Naturally they are going to have ‘problem’ family members.
W also had Neil
John Quincy Adams (his alcoholic brother Charles)
Roger had to worry about Bill.
Good fries don’t need a sauce – exception Wendy’s fries dipped in a Wendy’s chocolate frosty.
Wolfgang Puck’s fast food at one of the Disney parks had the best french fries I’ve ever had. Perfectly cooked (crispy outside, creamy inside). Good salt levels and seasoned with fresh thyme.
Culver’s has my favorite mass made fries.
Culvers are good. I also like the 1/8″ shoestrings at Freddy’s
Trump says U.S. will remove all sanctions on Syria
But will he remove all forces from Syria?
The military heads probably told him they already did, just like last time.
I tend to try different sauces with fries, some of which have been great, but I always fall back to just plain ketchup. I lurv me some ketchup.
I mixed up some concoction with blue cheese dressing that was excellent, but I forgot what all I had mixed into it.
As stated above, I lurv ketchup. I hate those tiny ass paper cups most places give you, so I use the drink lids to get a larger amount of that tomato nectar.
You sound like my daughter, when she was young she used fries as a ketchup spoon.
As an adult, she still does that.
I have a step-son like your daughter. I once nearly tossed him out when I caught him putting ketchup on a perfectly cooked Ribeye. That is truly a crime against….something.
A perfectly grilled ribeye needs NOTHING. Even the best steak sauce is an insult to its perfection.
GT gets it. If the steak is seasoned right, it needs no sauce. And in most cases, salt and pepper are adequate.
Suthen over cooks his ribeyes.
No more than 130° before pulling it from the grill.
A perfectly grilled ribeye needs NOTHING.
I wouldn’t object to either sauteed mushrooms, or alternatively, a good (i.e. fresh-made) chimichurri.
http://img2.tfd.com/mk/T/X2604-T-03A.png
I had Invertibrate Zoology. It changed my life.
JI – sautéed sweet onion also acceptable. Or why not both?
Dammit, now I am hungry.
You people are odd. 😛
I played https://squaredle.com 05/12 (Weekly Subscriber Puzzle):
*113/113 words (+56 bonus words)
📖 In the top 1% by bonus words
I’m even odder.
Fast food fries, most particularly McDonald’s fries, demand ketchup.
No. They just need more salt.
I do sometimes dip fries in ketchup so I’m not opposed to fries and ketchup, but salt. They’re never salty enough.
Alternatively: Get your fries via poutine.
Fries need to be salted right when they come out of the fryer, otherwise the salt just bounces off. When I worked at McDonald’s, there was even a special salting motion we were supposed to use to salt the fries (three arches).
One local chain has an abomination on their menu called cottage fries. Deep fried potato pieces that are intentionally served unsalted.
cottage fries . . . . sounds great
The best alternative? JoJo potatoes.
Bobarian LMD:
Jojo’s aren’t bad, but they are not the best. Patatas bravas is the best, alternatively, twice fried potato chunks with sherry vinegar work in a pinch.
And that’s not even getting into the pierogi delivery methods of potatoes.
McD’s ketchup in packets tastes better and seems to have a higher vinegar content than the bottle.
Other sauces are fine as well: Mayo, remoulade, malt vinegar, various gravies, salsa, and chili.
By the way is it obvious I like French fries?
And as for eating while driving: No. When it is time to eat while on a road trip, I want to not be in my car.
A side note on this subject: Most condiments at restaurants in the US are complimentary so customers take them for granted. In HS I worked in a fried chicken joint and loved the various condiments. When the owner noticed how much I was eating he showed me his invoices. I was shocked to learn how expensive those little packets of condiments are. I started bringing my own condiments to work.
Restaurants are low profit margin businesses to start with and those condiments are a major overhead expense. Keep that in mind when using them.
I have always noticed that everyone else piles on like half a bottle’s worth of ketchup for a single order of fries.
I take exactly what I need. I guess I am just wired that way.
One of my best professors – Econ 101, day one. He did not introduce himself. Old grumpy guy walks into the class, looks over his glasses at us and sternly says “FREE. If you use that word in my class I will fail you. I dont care what you score on the test. There is no such thing as free. I dont care what it is, someone somewhere is paying for it.”
I had been reading Heinlein and was familiar with TANSTAAFL. I was an instant fan.
+1
I remember when I worked at Jimmy Johns during college and used to give a fuck load of napkins to the customers until the owner (and now good friend) showed me how much those napkins cost even in bulk. I started being more judicious on how many napkins I gave to the customers.
Bob at Taco Bell: “Give me two packets of Fire.”
Somewhere between 10-15 packets will be in my bag.
I also like the 1/8″ shoestrings at Freddy’s
Hmmmm. I always order onion rings. I might have to give them a try. I like shoestring fries best, even if they do get cold in a hurry.
If the fry is done correctly, no ketsup or other sauce is needed and merely adds to
Narrator: the fries are never done correctly.