Stoic Friday CXI

by | May 16, 2025 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings, Stoic | 76 comments

Last Week

Daily Stoic

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

This week’s book:

Discourses and Selected Writings

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.

Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.

He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.

Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.

He died sometime around AD 135.

He is my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.

Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.

Of Freedom Part I

He is free who lives as he wills, who is subject neither to compulsion, nor hindrance, nor force, whose choices are unhampered, whose desires attain their end, whose aversions do not fall into what they would avoid. Who, then, wishes to live in error?—No one.—Who wishes to live deceived, impetuous, unjust, unrestrained, peevish, abject?—No one.—Therefore, there is no bad man who lives as he wills, and accordingly no bad man is free. And who wishes to live in grief, fear, envy, pity, desiring things and failing to get them, avoiding things and falling into them?—No one at all.—5Do we find, then, any bad man free from grief or fear, not falling into what he would avoid, nor failing to achieve what he desires?—No one.—Then we find no bad man free, either.

People choose to react angrily or be sad about everything, but they don’t realize it is something they have chosen. I used to choose anger, but I didn’t feel that it was a choice I was making. Since I started practicing Stoicism, I have learned that even when I’m hungry, I can choose not to be angry. I got to test this on Sunday. My wife and I wanted to go out for breakfast, so we went at 0900 and usually there isn’t much of a wait time then. The restaurant was jammed because my wife and I both forgot it was Mother’s day (I had gotten her flowers on Saturday, but didn’t think about it Sunday morning). It took 45 minutes to get a seat and then another 45 minutes to get our food. In the past, I would have been unpleasant to deal with, but I wasn’t disturbed at all. Being able to make these kind of choices definitely makes me more free than I was before.

Now if some man who has been consul twice hear this, he will forgive you, if you add, “But you are a wise man; this does not apply to you.” Yet if you tell him the truth, to wit: “In point of being a slave you are not a whit better than those who have been thrice sold,” what else can you expect but a flogging? “Why, how am I a slave?” says he. “My father was free, my mother free; no one has a deed of sale for me. More than that, I am a member of the senate, and a friend of Caesar, and I have been consul, and I own many slaves.” Now in the first place, most worthy senator, it is very likely that your father was the same kind of slave that you are, and your mother, and your grandfather, and all your ancestors from first to last. 10But even if they were free to the limit, what does that prove in your case? Why, what does it prove if they were noble, and you are mean-spirited? If they were brave, and you a coward? If they were self-controlled, and you unrestrained?

External conditions do not decide if a person is truly free or not. Trying to explain this to a rich and important person would probably be difficult. I am not as free as I would like to be, but I do not have anything consistently controlling me either. There used to be things I “enjoyed” that would make me angry. Now I can actually do them and enjoy myself. This week, I rebuilt the carburetor for the tractor I am getting on Friday. This would have had me pulling my hair out and cussing before, but I got it put together with little to no stress. Hopefully that is the problem with the old girl.

And what, says someone, has this to do with being a slave?—Doesn’t it strike you as “having to do with being a slave” for a man to do something against his will, under compulsion?—Granted the point, he replies. But who can put me under compulsion, except Caesar, the lord of all?—There, you have yourself admitted that you have one master. And let it not comfort you that he is, as you say, the common master of all men, but realize that you are a slave in a great house. So also the men of Nicopolis[1] are wont to shout: “Yea, by the fortune of Caesar, we are free men!”

When I allow others to control my actions, I am less free. That doesn’t mean I let that change my mentality to make myself angry about the situation, but I decide whether or not to follow different things that I find oppressive and live with the consequences when I don’t and blame no one when I do. More external freedom is always the preferred option, but understanding what I control helps to keep the angst at bay. Don’t worry about going off-topic for these posts, I know they aren’t the most exciting content. I will be on a ship all day Friday, so I won’t be able to comment.

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

76 Comments

  1. DEG

    I used to choose anger, but I didn’t feel that it was a choice I was making.

    I’ll admit it publicly: I’ve backslid here.

    • Suthenboy

      Here too and always regret it.

  2. Derpetologist

    I haven’t checked the authenticity of this Epictetus quote, but it seems legit.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5v1OJwKcrQ

    Gist: You entrust the care of your horses and other possessions to experts, but what of your soul? Who takes care of that? If it is you, then do you follow the advice of an expert or did you discover how to do it on your own?

  3. EvilSheldon

    “There used to be things I “enjoyed” that would make me angry. Now I can actually do them and enjoy myself.”

    I think that one of the important (and possibly undervalued) skills of adulthood is the ability to take criticism without becoming angry, and this goes triple for self-criticism. It really helps out when trying to learn new skills, or re-learn old fundamentals, as an adult.

    • UnCivilServant

      But why do I only ever get unsolicited criticism about things unrelated to what I’m trying to improve?

      • EvilSheldon

        Just lucky, probably.

      • Suthenboy

        I thought you weren’t married UnCivil?

      • slumbrew

        Who are you, Suthen, so wise in the way of the world?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    He is free who lives as he wills, who is subject neither to compulsion, nor hindrance, nor force, whose choices are unhampered, whose desires attain their end, whose aversions do not fall into what they would avoid.

    Noble savage?

    • Not Adahn

      “‘Do as thou wilt’ shall be the whole of the Law.”

      • UnCivilServant

        When applied to a population of greater than 1, that starts to create problems.

      • Not Adahn

        *puts on wizard robes, monocle, and mortarboard*

        In the past I’ve mentioned how esoteric writers put in traps to mislead the unworthy. That line is an example of the phenomenon. The rejected aspirant will read it as “do whatever you want to, let yourself follow your passions/whims.” The one who will be further initiated will read it as “have control over yourself at all times.”

      • UnCivilServant

        You are being too charitable.

        That meaning is not there.

      • Not Adahn

        You will never advance past junior ritual candle inventory clerk.

      • Jarflax

        Advancement in that organization was largely by satisfying the lust of the founder. Any wisdom in it is brought by the listener, the speaker was a grifting pervert.

      • EvilSheldon

        Just because one is a grifting pervert, doesn’t mean one is incapable of wisdom. If such were the case, organized religion would not be possible…

      • Jarflax

        You seem to be assuming that the presence of grifting perverts among the clergy equates to all of them being grifting perverts. Cesare Borgia existing doesn’t mean that Aquinas or Augustine shared his traits. Levay was not an Aquinas.

      • Not Adahn

        Jarflax is correct about Crowley though.

      • Jarflax

        and Rousseau and Rabelais. I understand why libertarians are drawn to the phrase, and it is appealing to think that all our unwise or malevolent desires are imposed by external forces, but I don’t think it’s true.

      • EvilSheldon

        You’re reading too much into my comment. I meant only what I said.

      • juris imprudent

        Augustine shared his traits

        He wasn’t far off – oh Lord save me, just not quite yet.

      • Suthenboy

        Jarflax gets it.

      • Suthenboy

        Borgia vs Aquinas
        The grifting pervert has a mega-church
        The wise man a long beard, sackcloth and a cave somewhere removed from people. See: Bede the Venerable vs. Jimmy Swaggart.
        Come to think of it I cant really vouch for those monk types and their cloistering.
        Hmmmm.

    • creech

      That’s only half of it. “as long as I don’t hit other people or take their stuff.”

    • juris imprudent

      Noble savage?

      You mean Rousseau’s foolish conceit?

  5. juris imprudent

    There used to be things I “enjoyed” that would make me angry.

    Oh, you don’t golf anymore?

    • EvilSheldon

      Golf is a good example. Shooting is another. In both crafts, there are hundreds of small, difficult to notice skills, that all need to be practiced all the time, often on a pre-conscious level. Being aware of all these things and being relentlessly self-critical regarding them is the only path to improvement. If improvement is what you want.

      Just for an example, I’ve been having problems with low hits out at 15+ yards when I’m shooting fast. I did some video, went online and got some coaching, and have a working hypothesis that my support hand grip isn’t putting enough pressure on the underside of the trigger guard. Now I need to spend the next few weeks working on this in dry fire, and confirming the results on the range. It’s a fiddly never-ending process.

      • Suthenboy

        Cant imagine there is anything here you haven’t heard of tried but worth a look.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ_PV4zmDGQ

        *I have a Sig 1911-22 with an aluminum slide. It is remarkable in that when the slide chambers a new round after a slot it does not force the end of the barrel down. You can feel the slide moving but it doesnt cause noticeable movement up and down of the front sight.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    You mean Rousseau’s foolish conceit?

    No man is truly free while wearing pants.

    • EvilSheldon

      Skirts for everyone!

      • kinnath

        Toga! Toga! Toga!

      • Not Adahn

        Aw hell nah. Have you ever tried wearing one of those things? Vastly worse than a brecan feile. Not as scratchy though.

      • kinnath

        Léine!

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah, those are very practical.

      • kinnath

        I’ll have mine out for summer vacation in about 4 weeks.

  7. The Other Kevin

    I’m not sure if this was covered by Epictetus, but this week I was reminded yet again that a good outcome is usually as likely as a bad outcome. So stop worrying about the bad outcome.

    I posted early in the week I was annoyed by my oldest kid. I’ve gotten better at ignoring those annoyances. I was also stressed about getting ready for the big party we’re having next weekend. We need to case 75 pounds of meat and I hadn’t bought any of it. But mid week I found the best sale I’ve seen in years and we now have all the meat and the sausage casings in the fridge ready to go for tomorrow. Thankfully I will have 5 helpers this year. Last year I had one helper, and the year before I cased 75 pounds by myself. Which sucked.

    • UnCivilServant

      This week I got beat up figuratively and literally, mostly by gravity (none of it by other people).

      The probability of good and bad outcomes are not equally likely. The average case will be a neutral outcome. Worrying about the bad outcome is beneficial as it helps me determine what measures I can take to avoid or mitigate it, and contingincies for if it does come to pass. I didn’t expect the gravity-related mishaps, so I had no contingencies. That made them worse in the moment.

      • The Other Kevin

        I guess it’s more reminding myself that as you said, most outcomes are neutral. That’s also a Buddhist concept. At worst I’d have to choose a more expensive or inconvenient outcome. My Plan B was to make an hour drive to Michigan. That would have been 1.49 a pound, and I lucked out and got .99 a pound at a store 15 minutes away.

    • Furthest Blue pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Sausage Fest

      Sounds kinda boring, maybe you should invite some women.

      • Sean

        Why? You trying to link up?

      • The Other Kevin

        The original Sausage Fest was for anyone who ever played roller derby with my wife. I invite my team now as well, but only 1 or 2 usually make the drive. There is no shortage of drunk women.

  8. Ownbestenemy

    And just like that…America has moved on from the FAA’s woes.

    • Sean

      We don’t wanna hear how y’all are 3d printing obsolete parts.

      • UnCivilServant

        Unless it’s one of the interesting types of 3D printers.

        Got a laser sintering printer?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I wish we could. We get denied trying that

      • UnCivilServant

        Clearly you need to get someone connected into the 3D printer reselling business.

    • UnCivilServant

      Attention spans of gnats.

      • Jarflax

        Do the gnats file flight plans?

      • UnCivilServant

        Naw, they keep forgetting to.

      • Jarflax

        Too flighty I guess

  9. Ownbestenemy

    Ron. Thanks for these on Fridays. I know comments drop off, but i do read them and enjoy the reflection

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Henderson is nice right now, quiet except all the birds

      • Ownbestenemy

        Nice! 👍

  10. Sean

    https://x.com/alx/status/1923416441933480324

    The “news” was all aflutter this AM about WalMart prices going up. Gleefull, even.

    TRUMPS FAULT!

    I knew it sounded like complete bullshit.

    • The Other Kevin

      Oh crap, half my wife’s team is down there for a bachelorette party. Hope they weren’t involved.

      • Not Adahn

        Breaking people out of jail does sound like a good time.

      • Gender Traitor

        “We’d like to hire ten male strippers, please. Can they show up dressed like prisoners?”

  11. The Late P Brooks

    And just like that…America has moved on from the FAA’s woes.

    Stewart is among several traffic controllers on trauma leave, including some who were shaken by the blackouts, which left them unable to talk to planes or see where they were located.

    “I don’t want to be responsible for killing 400 people,” he told the Journal.

    His testimony is one of the first public narratives of overworked and understaffed US controllers, who are combatting the declining working conditions, alongside aging infrastructure and outdated technology. The problems at control towers and facilities overlay an ongoing stress passengers feel over a string of technology outages, close calls and fatal accidents.

    Stewart – who has been writing plane callsigns in a notebook fearing another blackout – said he averted a potential mid-air collision between two aircraft flying nose-to-nose at the same altitude on May 4, the Journal reported.

    They’ll keep stirring.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Was just talking with a buddy about this. Im not sure they found the biggest asshole they could to portray…but they did.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Guys salary is 202,000 and doubled it in OT.

      • kinnath

        Just replace all the feeble humans with AI.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Nimble. Focused.

    For the first time, the Army’s UH-60M Black Hawk utility helicopter lifted off the ground into a hover at a Sikorsky test facility, powered by the improved turbine engine that has been in development since the mid-2000s, according to the service’s program executive officer for aviation.

    But as the Improved Turbine Engine Program leaps that hurdle toward the finish line, the effort is in jeopardy as the service looks to cut large programs to make way for the pursuit of what it sees as higher priorities amid the need to cut its budget by 8% as directed by the defense secretary.

    Army Vice Chief of Staff, Gen. James Mingus told reporters at the Army Aviation Association of America confab here that the service is waiting to see where it lands with the fiscal 2026 budget. Officials are trying to gauge how much flexibility the service has in the budget reconciliation process to fully understand if it can afford to pay for ITEP.

    “The future of ITEP is largely going to depend on where all these things land inside the ’26 budget,” Mingus said.

    Currently, there is no funding planned to move the program from development into production.

    They’ve been pulling their puds for twenty years on this “development” program? Take everybody involved out and shoot them.

    • Sean

      From Grok:

      The SR-71 Blackbird, developed by Lockheed’s Skunk Works, took about 2 years from initial design to first flight. The program began in 1958, with the CIA’s A-12 precursor project starting formal development in 1959. The SR-71’s design evolved from the A-12, with significant engineering work occurring between 1960 and 1962. The first SR-71 prototype flew on December 22, 1964.
      Key factors in the timeline:
      Concept to prototype: ~2 years (1960–1962), leveraging A-12 work.

      Major engineering challenges: Titanium airframe, J58 engines, and stealth features required innovative solutions, condensed by Skunk Works’ rapid prototyping.

      Total program to operational status: ~6 years (1958–1964 for first flight, fully operational by 1966).

      Fire them all and sue for the wasted wages. Over an engine upgrade…

      • UnCivilServant

        I wonder if the requirements were repeatedly changed throughout the project, requiring reworking the design multiple times.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Probabaly more iterative design process which doesnt bring in the billions in cost overruns and contract renegotiations

      • juris imprudent

        I think the effort got put on hold once or twice because Army was supposed to be developing and fielding the Future Vertical Lift family of helicopters. About as bad as every effort to replace the Bradley fighting vehicle (itself the subject of the notorious Pentagon Wars).

    • R C Dean

      “in development since the mid-2000s”

      20 fucking years to come up with an improved engine. In WWII, we came up with entire new generations of fighters and bombers, and built them by the thousands, in just a few years.

    • Timeloose

      Pathetic. He needs some man classes or at least some common sense classes.

      Where is fruit sushi when you need him.

    • R C Dean

      And he’s got the blade set way too low.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Guys salary is 202,000 and doubled it in OT.

    Worse than slavery. He wouldn’t have to do that overtime if they were fully staffed.

  14. kinnath

    https://www.businessinsider.com/flight-left-no-pilot-for-10-minutes-first-officer-collapsed-2025-5

    A flight spent 10 minutes with no pilot when the first officer collapsed while the captain was in the bathroom

    A 38-year-old first officer lost consciousness while alone on the flight deck.

    The incident occurred on a Lufthansa flight in early 2024 while the captain was in the bathroom.

    All in all, the flight was left without a pilot operating it for roughly 10 minutes, a report found.

    oops

    • kinnath

      https://airlinegeeks.com/2025/05/16/a321-flew-10-minutes-with-no-pilot-supervision/

      The investigation noted that Lufthansa had previously required a cabin crew member to remain on the flight deck whenever one pilot was absent but had since modified this procedure after determining “it did not increase the safety of its operation.”

      “If another authorized person had been present on the flight deck, they could have quickly identified the co-pilot’s incapacitation, alerted the rest of the crew and opened the flight deck security door so that the captain could swiftly take control of the aircraft,” the report stated.

      and oops again

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Overall, the Army has spent over an estimated $1.5 billion over the past two decades on ITEP and its precursor development. The service had spent approximately $720 million on the program by 2016. The Army’s contracts to competitors in 2016 totaled $256 million and the service awarded a $517 million contract for the engineering and manufacturing development phase to GE in 2019.

    What is under consideration for a different path to modernize the Black Hawk and Apache’s engines, if the Army chooses to end the ITEP program prior to production, is unclear.

    What a clusterfuck.