Sixteen
The Grugell base camp
Clomonastik was less than pleased with the progress his forces had made thus far. It was nearing the end of the second night the two aliens had been on the loose, and his troops hadn’t caught them yet. Worse, he’d suffered losses. Losses were hard to explain.
The Grugell Empire richly rewarded successful Occupation Group Commanders. He was sure to be appointed Governor if he established a Grugell foothold on this planet. Usually, the occupation of a new planet was a simple matter of landing a few troops, dealing with any dangerous life forms, and setting up an occupation base. Grugell itself was dangerously overcrowded, and the fourteen planets of the burgeoning Empire were expanding rapidly. The planet-hungry Grugell Empire needed room to grow, and Clomonastik was enough of a student of history to know that an Empire, to survive, must grow.
But this troublesome planet was different. On this planet the Grugell occupation encountered something they’d never found on any planet before. This planet had inhabitants, intelligent creatures not unlike themselves, with space-faring technology. The Occupation under Clomonastik had specific orders directly from the Emperor, and the Emperor’s orders were simple: destroy the inhabitants and occupy the planet.
The plan concocted by Clomonastik’s operations staff was perfect. Land in an uninhabited area, establish a base camp, and land sufficient troops to attack the one city they’d detected. The plan had begun to unravel before the first ship had touched down. A scout ship commander had chosen a touchdown point in a meadow, and when he’d detected a habitation, he’d simply ordered it destroyed instead of finding a new location.
Well, that Subcommander had paid the price for that error. The two creatures hadn’t been in their dwelling, and when the scout ship had blasted the structure, one of them used some sort of projectile weapon to blast the idiot’s head off. If the creature hadn’t done so Clomonastik would have killed the erring Subcommander himself, but now that the deed was done, they could hardly let the killers escape. Besides, it wouldn’t do at all to have them warning their fellows. So, now Clomonastik was obliged to send a considerable force after the two refugees, who had already killed three more troops and seriously injured a fourth.
From his seat in a camp chair at the rear of his hastily constructed field shelter, Clomonastik motioned to his Assistant Commander, who was examining a map tacked to the wall near the door.
“Are they still headed south on the stolen scooter?”
“Sir, they are. As you commanded, there have been five other teams and one scout ship dispatched in pursuit.”
Clomonastik frowned. He was uncomfortable in the heavy gravity of this planet. That fact didn’t do anything to improve his mood.
“Sit down, Apportamattid, and tell me why we haven’t captured or killed these two yet.”
Apportamattid seated himself gratefully, the heavy gravity was telling on him as well. It would be some time before they all acclimated. “Sir,” he began, “The creatures we are pursuing are demonstrating a great knowledge of the terrain, and considerable skill with their weapons. They are also quite willing to kill to escape capture. This, sir, is a dangerous combination.” Apportamattid leaned back in the camp chair, crossing his legs and adjusting his black trousers. He paused to flick a bit of foreign matter from his leg. Even among the fastidious Grugell, Apportamattid IX was considered something of a dandy.
“Continue,” Clomonastik ordered.
“Sir, the issue we face here is one of limited resources. These two have already killed three troops and wounded another. We have only the first landing party of five hundred troops, and the number of scooters and scout craft we have are limited as well. To be certain, it is important to achieve surprise if we are to destroy the alien’s base city and the few outlying bases without suffering serious losses, but we must ask ourselves, ‘How likely are these two to reach their base, to sound an alarm, to be believed?’ It is unlikely they will escape the forces we’ve sent after them, particularly since they’ve made the mistake of stealing one of our scooters. We can now track their progress. If they are successful in reaching the city, we must consider the probability that these two are outcasts at best, criminals at worst; why else, sir, would they be living in a hovel in the wilderness? And with that being the likely case, who would believe them when they claim to have been attacked by intelligent creatures from another planet? When, sir, have the Grugell ever encountered another intelligent race? Would we believe a Grugell criminal who returned from exile with such a story?
“Sir, that being so, I propose that we send no further troops in pursuit. The scooter troops and the scout ship should find them. If they fail, we face no significant risks.”
He made sense, Clomonastik had to admit. He’d chosen his second-in-command well.
“Still,” the Group Commander pointed out, “We should ensure they do their best to succeed. Wouldn’t you agree? Pass on a message, there will be a 10,000-gnok reward for the team who bring in the fugitives alive. 5,000 gnok if they only bring the heads. Also, pass on that there will be, harsh, yes, harsh penalties for any who have them and let them escape.”
“I agree, sir, of course. To that end, I suggest we have the one scout ship assigned to the mission orbit at high altitude over the charted location of the stolen scooter. As you know, sir, the scouts we are using were fitted with the latest high-resolution passive visual scanners; the scouts can use them to keep watch for the creatures. They can remain above unaided visual range, and when they detect the two creatures – as you may rest assured, they will – they can guide our troops in on foot for the capture.”
“On foot?”
“Indeed yes, sir. These creatures have proven their skill at evading pursuit, and at detecting our troops. We must assume that they are familiar with the sounds of our scooters and the scout ships, as well. By approaching on foot, our troops will sound like another forest creature, if they notice the sound at all.”
“Yes, excellent,” Clomonastik agreed. “See that the orders are given, exactly so.”
“As you wish, Commander.” Apportamattid stood up, bowed, and left.
Clomonastik sat back, relaxed now even in the heavy gravity. He’d have his Governorship yet.
To see more of Animal’s writing, visit his page at Crimson Dragon Publishing or Amazon.
Egads, the Grugell are progressives? Who else would project like that?
Animal, I finished this & Sky Of Diamonds while in Puerto Rico – I greatly enjoyed them!
Why am I imagining these two as Niles & Frazier as aliens?
Dear God, Niles! You forgot the Jacques Selosse Millésime at home?!
How will we celebrate our eventual victory over these less superior aliens? By drinking that common swill that the Commander has in his room?
https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/G-B135gaSzObd0a4_Gu35g.BW5-pLkH-VDam-ESqT76Pc
Obviously Appomattox has a degree from an Ivy League school.
I foresee some encounters with the local fauna going poorly for the Grugell.
I see the site is still working? Everything is down here. Phones are down. Banks are down. CC machines are down. Lottery machines are down. Gas pumps are off. The power is still on but the local tv stations are off the air. The local radio is out.
Y’know how chpt 1 in every sci-fi thought experiment lays out the premise? This one starts with “First we noticed our phones weren’t working….”
I am glad we are well stocked on food and water and batteries.
Iran hackers? I read about some potential threats by Iranian hackers due to US involvement in the bombings by the Israelis.
https://www.theregister.com/2025/06/13/cyber_weapons_israel_iran/
Just as likely.
Nah, this happened once before and again at some airport. Turns out some dumbshit was doing an install or something and pushed ONE WRONG BUTTON. Yes, we are all more likely to die because of some idiot’s mistake than from all the scheming, conniving Dr. Evils in the world. If there is one thing humanity has mastered above all other things it is bumblefuckery.
Solar flare:
https://www.newsweek.com/space-weather-solar-flare-radio-blackout-north-america-2085967
Professor Carrington, call your office!
He can’t. The phones are down.
A local internet or phone system crash or DoSA might shut down phone/internet based systems like cash machines, gas pumps, phone systems, etc.
Do you need the LSU score?
LSU 69
Cal 0
Giggity.
With better production values, this could a Babylon Bee joint:
https://x.com/iAnonPatriot/status/1934337989032697960
She thinks her L.A. friends voted for Trump?
What kind of savages clean their own house and take care of their own lawn?
You know, the middle class and below.
As noted, her math on 1% electing the president is a bit off.
Also, somehow, many Americans manage to survive cleaning their own houses and mowing their own lawns. And not just the Amish.
I think that’s a reference to the uber wealthy, who all lined up behind Trump during the election, or something.
Lord knows we are but helpless puppets before the overwhelming wealth of the private jet set.
Bill Gates says jump and we all say, “how high?”.
Gates is a big Trump guy, right? Or am I thinking of Reid Hoffman? George Soros, maybe?
You must be thinking of the Walmart heiresses, slum.
It’s sad. Those people are completely brainwashed and will be completely fucked if they get their way. They will go all the way to the killing field in a state of confusion, unable to understand what is happening or why it is happening.
“Why did you bring me here? This ditch is full of dead people!”
It must be the Rethuglikkkans and their corporate donors! Socialism harder and maybe we will be spared
Who will serve all of the 10’s of millions of CA conservatives their organic produce and cut the 500 2sqr.ft lots grass?
You idiots are going to lose. Your commander’s name is Colon on a stick FFS.
Now you’ve got me mentally reading this with a Jeff Dunham filter.
Speaking of 1%-ers:
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/2025-audi-rs6-avant-performance-gt-2/
I guess if you can afford it, you can afford to re-paint it. Or at least have it wrapped.
Yikes.
At the end of the day, you still have a VW. Should be listed on bringamechanic.
Harsh.
Probably a lot of fun to drive, but fuck me, that is ugly. The white wheels manage to really elevate the uglitude.
Far less fugly in normal trim:
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/2025-audi-rs6-avant-performance-2/
What kind of savages clean their own house and take care of their own lawn?
No self-respecting Mexican would condescend to mow my lawn.
I remember my visitors from CA commenting on all of the landscaping being done mostly by homeowners or Caucasian businesses.
That really does feel like a major Cali/East Coast difference. Sure, plenty of landscapers around here but they’re hardly ubiquitous – lots of people cutting their own lawns.
My mom and dad have a landscaper, but they’re old and can’t do it themselves. My brother WAS a landscaper in high school.
As does my mom & MIL. But I think my brother (Wall St guy) still mows his own lawn (or, at least, the boys do).
I have a robot mower for the lawn.. for other things, you will always have down time.
I need to run the Kubota over the front 10.
Similar with the pool.. If you know what you are doing it isn’t much work. (robot vacuum for the pool)
Pools are a pain if there’s a problem, but get them stable and they are pretty easy. It took us 3 weeks to get ours clear this time, but we opened it early so we timed it just right.
All GT models are finished in Arkona White with a red, black, and gray livery that pays homage to the Audi 90 Quattro raced in IMSA GTO competition in 1989.
I’d rather have the IMSA car.
Speaking of the losing aliens something EvilSheldon said this morning….underestimating enemies. Dont do it.
What happens in every war is that the unwise, those without resolve, the naive and inexperienced get culled right away. A bit into the war on every side you are left with hardened people who know what they are doing. By some estimates the natural born killers amounts to about 5%.
The same thing is going to happen with these stick-legs. It will be slaughter for a while then things will even out.
Huh. Looking at the news. Nothing here about the blackout. You would think people would be talking about it.
Now the TV went down. Wife is stuck with recordings.
How ironic that the Glibs will be the first to find out about the alien invasion because we have you on the front lines.
How ironic they decided to invade through Louisiana.
NJ has seriously gone down hill since the late 30s.
Spud, I imagine “shoot, shovel, and shut up” is well recognized in Louisiana.
“Well there are certain sections of
New YorkLouisiana, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.”I wouldn’t know anything about that RC
So what’s going on with Iran? I’m seeing lots of Republican infighting on X. We started WWIII, it will be over in a week, the US is involved, the US is not involved, Iran wants to negotiate, Israel doesn’t want to negotiate. I have no idea what to believe.
There was some douche on Fox News this morning demanding that the US back Israel to the fullest extent. If we don’t the “Arab world” and Russia will know we’re weak and take advantage.
I swear some of these warmongers must have their own private Greenbriers.
Iran is bad.
Regime change gives Neo-cons and establishment Dems a tingly feeling in their no no area.
Once you reach a certain age it gets harder to find that tingly feeling by more normal means.
Ergo send in the Marines.
Or more succinctly. Lindsay Graham is touching himself while moving his toy soldiers around the sand table again.
I think what is going on is that the Iranian mullah regime has to go. It is long overdue. Thank you very much Jimmy Fucking Carter, noted POS.
As always making predictions about war is a bit like predicting weather. Before my phone went down the weather channel said zero chance of rain today. I stuck my head out of the door a minute ago and the rain was so heavy I couldn’t see the other side of my yard. A yard I cut myself btw.
Speaking of….I had transplanted a dozen huckleberry from the woods to my flower beds this winter. Apparently I did it right as they made a few handfuls of berries already. I nearly forgot how good they are. My current plan involves rooting more from cuttings and planting a hedge of them along one side of my yard.
The Iranian mullahs are terrible, and the world would be better off with them gone, but not at the price we’d end up paying if we invaded.
Suthern walking to his newly transported bushes….♪Oh my darlin’, oh my darlin’, oh my darlin’ Clementiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnne!!!♪
Agreed Jarflax. We have no business invading and it would be disastrous for Israel as well.
As I recall the Mullahs were on the brink of falling by the people uprising….they assured Obama that if he would help just a bit they would take care of the job themselves. Naturally Obama told them to go get stuffed.
When reading or listening to the so-called news, it’s best to ask yourself: who wants me to believe this and why?
A recent example: supposedly, Pakistan offered to nuke Israel.
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/pakistan-will-nuke-israel-if-it-uses-nuclear-weapon-against-iran-claims-irgc-general-mohsen-rezae-8679155
Too bad it’s a diesel
Still too bad it’s a diesel
Thanks for sending me down the rabbit hole. I’ve been telling my kids I’d love the car I had in high school. This one is red instead of black, and V8 instead of V6, but I’d take it if I had the spare cash and space. Funny part is, this is about what we paid for ours new in 1988. Seems I’m frugal even when I’m dreaming.
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1988-pontiac-firebird-37/
At least with the V6 in that time frame, you could get the 5 speed.
I just saw a 88 GTA yesterday. Looked like it has never seen a winter. Beautiful red with gold laced wheels.
Looked like this.
https://photos.classiccars.com/cc-temp/listing/192/7174/51143268-1988-pontiac-firebird-trans-am-gta-thumb.jpg
This car is begging for a powerplant swap to bring it up to reasonable levels (>350 hp)
I had an 83 Trans-AM V8 with the 5 speed. 140HP? still recovering from the advent of catalytic converters etc. The manual clutch destroyed the unibody (they switched to a hydraulic clutch in 84)
I feel no nostalgia for that car… It was fine for High school to college, there are better cars.
Now I have a 04 Mercedes SL 500 that we drive in the summer. I will keep this one going.
That thing will still be running long after the bombs drop.
My Uncle had one of those, got about 60 mpg and would barely keep up on the freeway.
Thanks for sending me down the rabbit hole.
Slumbrew started it.
I’m subscribed to the whole ‘wagons’ category.
It contains temptations.
e.g., https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1994-bmw-540i-23/
I must be getting old. I’m finding great pleasure in looking at these cars, and I really like Commodore 64 emulators.
I don’t need a money pit.
I’m subscribed to the whole ‘wagons’ category.
I want a ’66 Tempest wagon with the OHC six cylinder and a four speed. Shouldn’t be too hard to find; Pontiac made like sixty of them.
SWEET
I really should stop looking at these things.
That one tempts even me. Wow.
As for the Bel Air, what’s with the jive-ass wheels?
For your inner vato/family man
A 1963 Bel Air station wagon was the first new car that Dad ever bought. I think he paid $2800 for it.
Still no phone. I wonder how many 911 would be calls are not being answered.
On Iran,
Reuters: Iran’s expanding oil trade with top buyer China. China, the world’s largest crude importer and Iran’s top customer, bought an average 1.05 million barrels per day (bpd) of Iranian oil in the first 10 months of 2023.
Who paid for the Oct. 7 attack and for Iranian proxies in general? Xi and Biden.