Random Thoughts as a Late-Fifties Fat Guy Starting to Lift

by | Jun 17, 2025 | GlibFit | 87 comments

1. Ego can shut the hell up!  No, you cannot lift that much! I don’t care how easy that dude on YouTube makes it look!

2.  Free weights are an entirely different beast than the machines!

3.  If lifting on a machine is normal mode, then barbell exercises are hard mode and dumbbells, (you accursed implements of torture!) are nightmare difficulty.

4.  Seriously, until you grab free weights you have no idea how much the mechanical stabilizing of the weight helps, and once you grab dumbbells and your arms have to work independently you learn that your strong side is a LOT stronger than your weak.

5.  You are not as strong as you think you are.

6.  That tiny little weight that feels so light on rep number one is a giant hunk of lead on rep 8, and made of neutronium on the third set.

7.  When you start deadlifting your grip and hanging support muscles will feel it before the actual muscles you are targeting, just deal with it.  You need to get strong enough to hold the weight.

8.  Everyone, every video, every article has advice to ‘help’ you learn the form, technique, and optimal routines.  Unfortunately they all have different advice…

9.  Lifting is not made easier by being on a low calorie diet. 

10. A low calorie diet is not made easier by lifting.

11. Remember, the people giving the advice are not beginners!  When they talk about moving from exercise to exercise with no down time, and talk about how many different exercises you should do they are talking about something that is only a distant goal for you.  Start with the basics and add over time.  If you try to do 3 sets each for a dozen exercises on day one, there won’t be a day two.

About The Author

(((Jarflax

(((Jarflax

Lawyer, gamer, curmudgeon

87 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    Start with the basics and add over time.

    How many years did you let yourself go without working out even semi-seriously? Yeah, it’s going to take time to remedy that.

  2. The Other Kevin

    You just lit the TOK signal. Where to begin?
    2-4: This is why free weights are superior IMO. You get a better workout because you’re working all those other supporting muscles. When Mrs. TOK teachers her classes, she sometimes has people use one dumbbell, on one foot, or lift something balancing on a BOSU ball. She calls this “sneaky core work”.

    5: Maybe. We just hired a new trainer at our gym, a good friend and gym member who got her certification to help us. She taught a cardio class Saturday, but she had them do shorter sets and wouldn’t let them use tiny weights. Everyone could lift more than they thought, and everyone was sore the next day (some of them for the first time in a while).

    7: Grip strength will limit your deadlift. There are ways to train that, but dead hangs are a good one.

    9-10: Diet is really important. If you are trying to build muscle, you can’t skimp on protein. Ideally you would get your metabolism checked and find out how many calories you will need each day.

    11: Andy Galpin has a lot of great videos. The ones on programming are really useful. https://www.andygalpin.com/
    Under Education, look for the Physiology videos.

    • Drake

      May as well get your testosterone tested too. Trying to lose weight and get strong with low-T would be futile.

      • Sensei

        What if you identify as someone who produces lots of testosterone?

      • WTF

        Although some studies have shown that lifting weights increases testosterone.

    • Jarflax

      This was written last year and repurposed here. The diet has gone by the wayside lol. I joke that I am following a plan designed to create Kobe long pork. I lift heavy (for my strength not overall), lower reps limited sets, and eat too much.

  3. CPRM

    These days clearing away the clothes stored on my lifting equipment is about the most strenuous I get.

  4. The Other Kevin

    And part 2: I’m keeping this low key, but I just started working with a trainer. He’s going to help me with programming, and I start next week.

    • SDF-7

      Gorram Pair Programming initiatives…

  5. Furthest Blue pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    Old man strength is a thing, though.

    I’m reminded of a lyric in a Toby Keith song: “I aint as good as I once was. But I’m as good once as I ever was.”

    • The Other Kevin

      We have a female lifter in our gym who’s 57 and stands all of 4’11”. She’s breaking all her lifetime records. She’s also competing, but all the medals she’s winning are a little hollow because there’s nobody else in her age/weight class.

      • Nephilium

        One of my friend’s moms got into power lifting after her husband died. She wound up setting some senior age/weight records.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m kind of amazed at the reflexes I still have. Now if I just had the stamina.

    • Akira

      “I aint as good as I once was. But I’m as good once as I ever was.”

      I always had trouble grammatically parsing that second line… He has declined, but he is currently as good as he once was at any other point… ?

      • Jarflax

        Think bedroom and encores or lack thereof.

      • ron73440

        The things he could do easily all the time as a young man, he can now do once.

  6. UnCivilServant

    I am a fat bastard who wants to get to the point where I can get my chin over a bar – but currently I cannot lift body weight. What is the best way to improve pull-up capacity til I can start body weight attempts?

    • Drake

      Lat pulldowns will strengthen the right muscles. Chin ups are tough with any extra weight.

    • The Other Kevin

      Another Mrs. TOK method: On a tall power rack, set the clips low and stretch one or more thick bands around them. Then stand on the bands and do your pullups with assistance. Set your feet closer or wider to get more assistance, and remove bands as you get better. Eventually you’ll work up to no bands.

      • B.P.

        There are machines at some gyms that provide counterweight for doing pull-ups, allowing for weight to be reduced as one gets stronger at pulling up. Or, as you say, go on Amazon and buy a set of bands of different gauges, reducing the gauge the stronger you get.

      • Furthest Blue pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        The videos of those bands slipping off feet and striking right in the crotch are both hilarious and frightening.

      • B.P.

        Yeah, don’t do that. And don’t film at the gym.

      • The Other Kevin

        I’ve had to make modifications my whole life. But my wife’s gym mantra is “You can make any exercise harder or easier.” She is a real wizard.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’ve been using this pull-up progression plan as one of my primary strength training exercises: https://www.setforset.com/blogs/news/pull-up-progression

      I do this plan twice a week, as part of my regular strength training program. That, plus three BJJ classes a week, seems to be keeping me in fighting trim.

      • UnCivilServant

        Did you get my email starting the conversation with regards to the pistol screws?

      • EvilSheldon

        I did. Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to respond.

        What kind of optic and adapter plate do you have, and did the screws that failed come with the optic, the plate, or did you get them from some other source?

      • UnCivilServant

        The adapter plate is This. The screws that failed came with the optic, a Holosun EPS.

      • Tundra

        Damn you. I’ve been slacking on my chins. Now I can’t pretend I forgot.

        (Thanks for the plan, regardless)

    • Ozymandias

      Ring rows. Set the difficulty by your pull angle. (i.e. Put your heels more “under” the rings – and even past them as you get stronger – that plus where you set the ring height/strap length will determine how hard it is.) Do 3 sets of 10 (easy angle) in your warmups and then eventually you can do variations as a workout.

      Get a set of rings with a decent pair of straps to go with (Rogue Fitness has some, I’m certain). You’ll just need to find a bar or tree branch or (football goal post!) something to throw them over.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I am a fat bastard

      If you’re over 250 then it’s going to be a long time before you do a pull up. Still no reason not to progress toward the goal, but losing weight is probably more essential.

  7. SDF-7

    Huh… you know, as I sit here worried about all the crap I need to do to move… I do at least have a disassembled Nautilus sitting in the Georgia house I can put back together once I get things settled there. Yeah, it isn’t free weights… but at least I could exercise (and have my son exercise) regularly [there’s a sun room I could put it in]. Thanks for the reminder!

    I’ve never been a lifter (in high school… I don’t think I could bench the damned bar). So resistance based workout is enough for me.

    • B.P.

      At about 30 I started running, and could go about 7 minutes until I pooped out. A year later I was running a 10K every day, and I did that for years, but did very little in the way of weight training. I eventually went to seed, but now I’m back running a little but lifting a lot more. As TOK suggests below, once you start realizing gains it creates momentum.

  8. The Other Kevin

    8: A live trainer, even for a few sessions, is priceless. I sent my trainer videos of my bench press this week, and I already had success using two of his suggestions.

    • R C Dean

      A good live trainer, I might point out. A bad one can do a lot of damage.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    I need to get my shit together.

    • The Other Kevin

      There is such a thing as momentum. It’s hard to get started, but once you’re started is hard to stop. This time of year we have summer hockey practice, and my teammates and I always bug each other to go, because once you start skipping it’s a lot easier to quit altogether.

      • WTF

        Two weeks. If you can make yourself do it for two weeks, after that you will actually start looking forward to it.

      • Nephilium

        WTF:

        I never looked forward to it, but I did keep it up as part of the routine. The bike riding I look forward to…

        /waits for a weekend without rain

    • Jarflax

      This is only meant as an entirely inexpert suggestion. I am NOT someone to learn fitness from, but maybe it will help people who avoid working out dip a toe. Think about what you can reasonably expect yourself to do if you commit to it, then reduce that a bit and commit to it. As that becomes a habit add to it. My current ‘rule’ is I have to do one set of one exercise every day, barring downtime for injuries. I generally do more than that obviously, but the point of a minimum is that it lets me keep my ‘habit’ formation on track even on days where I just cannot summon the motivation. The every day thing is not what any trainer will advise, but for me things I do every day are things I am better able to stick with, things I do every other day or every third day are things I stop doing. And there are plenty of smaller focused exercises you can do on rest days from big compound lifts. Today for instance I am going to do some preacher curls and light lateral raises.

      • Ted S.

        I’d think preachers are a bit too heavy to curl.

      • Jarflax

        You need the old time fire and brimstone rail thin types. The modern evangelicals are way too heavy.

  10. Timeloose

    I’m half assing working out. I do body weight exercises mostly. Pushups with various positions and speeds with planks in between.

    I supplement with dumbbell exercises with moderate weights. Leg day is taking the six flights of stairs two at a time 3 times a day at the office.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of random…

    Every elected official in America is a political assassination survivor now.

    • juris imprudent

      The Bee as usual.

      Democrats Urge People To Stop Inflammatory Rhetoric Unless It’s Against Trump, The Next Hitler Who Must Be Stopped Now

      At publishing time, Democrats had further urged people always to shun political violence except for when it is directed against Trump.

  12. ron73440

    <1. Ego can shut the hell up!

    My problem is comparing what I did in the past to what I do now after 9months off due to an ankle injury. My weakness from the blood loss is making this worse, but I am working.

    3. If lifting on a machine is normal mode, then barbell exercises are hard mode and dumbbells, (you accursed implements of torture!) are nightmare difficulty.

    Dumbells are the only weights I've ever seriously used.

    5. You are not as strong as you think you are.

    Sad but true.

    7. When you start deadlifting your grip and hanging support muscles will feel it before the actual muscles you are targeting, just deal with it. You need to get strong enough to hold the weight.

    Grip strength is very important.

    8. Everyone, every video, every article has advice to ‘help’ you learn the form, technique, and optimal routines. Unfortunately they all have different advice…

    Find one guy you like and follow him, trying to follow different advice from different peple will not work.

    9. Lifting is not made easier by being on a low calorie diet.

    10. A low calorie diet is not made easier by lifting.

    Diet is very important, eat enough to help your body recover.

    11. Remember, the people giving the advice are not beginners! When they talk about moving from exercise to exercise with no down time, and talk about how many different exercises you should do they are talking about something that is only a distant goal for you. Start with the basics and add over time. If you try to do 3 sets each for a dozen exercises on day one, there won’t be a day two.

    Don't hurt yourself trying to keep up with others.

    • UnCivilServant

      Zat ist not German Engineering.

    • EvilSheldon

      That’s Dara, Pakistan. That entire village is one big open-air gunsmithing shop. Has been for decades.

      There are some very slow-burning pistol powders you can get away with that with. I wouldn’t try it with Titegroup or VV-N310.

      • Sean

        Interesting.

  13. Certified Public Asshat

    Must be working out at home because there are no thoughts about gym thots.

    • Jarflax

      Yes, only at home. If I allow my dislike for activity to join forces with my dislike for going out to public places, they instantly defeat my dislike for being weak.

      • juris imprudent

        Sounds like me with golf – as long as I can go shoot a round without anyone else, I’m good.

      • R C Dean

        Preach it, flax. The only reason I get any workouts in at all is the home gym Mrs. Dean set up in the garage during the Plague Year – a rack, assault bike (*spit*), rower, barbells, dumbbells, kettlebells, etc. etc.

  14. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    “If you try to do 3 sets each for a dozen exercises on day one, there won’t be a day two.”

    In my younger days I checked out a few fitness clubs. As part of their introductory offer they would have a trainer show me all the machines, usually some Hans and Franz types. I was always so sore after that I never returned.

    • Tundra

      It’s breathtakingly bad advice, especially for old guys. I subscribe to the Starting Strength protocol for beginners. Only a handful of exercises, 3 days a week, 3 sets of 5, small incremental jumps. Works like a champ and no soreness after the first few workouts.

    • Jarflax

      Thanks, the timing on this ended up being oddly helpful. I submitted it, then had to take a week off because I had pinched a nerve in my neck/shoulder, and it being on the schedule helped me to pick back up once that was no longer bugging me.

  15. kinnath

    Went on my annual camping vacation last week. Lots of walking required. A year ago it was rough. This year, I started walking at lunch time about 5 weeks ago (a month before my vacation). I went from struggling to walk for 15 minutes to walking for 35 minutes in about 3 weeks.

    Back to work this week. And the heat and humidity have arrived here in Iowa. So, I am stuck in the building. Walked for 25 minutes yesterday. Walked farther today, but in 23 minutes. Progressing to farther and faster at the same time.

    Now to dig out the dumbbells at home.

    • Tundra

      Walking is far and away the most underrated exercise. Good job, kinnath.

      • kinnath

        You can actually walk about a mile without ever leaving the building or repeating your steps.

    • R C Dean

      I do something every day to work out – mostly in the garage gym (which is fucking hot right now, lemmetellya), but I try to walk 3-4 miles as a workout once a week. Which is also fucking hot right now, unless I hit the road no later than 6:30. We live on the edge of town, so I’ve got some good routes without much traffic, especially when school is out.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Get ready for a surprise

    Zohran Mamdani’s democratic socialist policies are a hit with affluent white voters. But the surging mayoral candidate trails Andrew Cuomo among New Yorkers he says his plans will help the most.

    Most polls have shown the upstart candidate lagging the former governor with Black and Latino voters. And with the Democratic primary a week away, political leaders from those core constituencies are dialing up their support of Cuomo as Mamdani’s core base — younger, farther to the left, whiter — flock to early voting booths to crown the 33-year-old lawmaker the next executive of New York City.

    The dynamic is a microcosm of a nationwide divide in the Democratic Party.

    ——-

    That political split exemplifies the pitfalls awaiting Mamdani as he has climbs in the polls and activates the excited left wing of his party: Older Black and Latino voters — particularly middle-class Black homeowners — have long been key to any winning coalition in a New York City Democratic primary. And they tend not to be card-carrying members of the Democratic Socialists of America, of which Mamdani is a member.

    What’s wrong with those people? They need to stop voting against their true best interests. Democratic Socialism is the solution to all our problems.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Mamdani’s campaign said his pledge to freeze the rent for rent-stabilized tenants and offer free childcare to kids aged 6 weeks to five years has been resonating with older voters in Black and brown neighborhoods. And he has been chipping away at Cuomo’s dominance with nonwhite voters by speaking at Black churches and earning the backing of prominent officials representing Latino and Asian communities.

    Free lunch is good. Ixnay on that “opiate of the people” stuff.

    • Sean

      “Free shit!” is always a crowd pleaser.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    As somebody here said recently, “A unicorn in every pot!”

  19. trshmnstr

    Adjustable dumbbells are much better than they were 10 years ago. I got some cheap ones ($100 or so for the pair) off amazon, and they’re so much better than my old powerblocks.

    I’ve been lifting on and off for just over 18 months, and I’ve found that the first 2 weeks after an extended break suck. After that, my body starts anticipating and enjoying the work.

    Form is my biggest struggle. I still have a hard time keeping my knees in when squatting and keeping my shoulders back during upper body exercises.

    The biggest unexpected benefit is that I feel healthier. Just generally healthier. I also feel strong, but the important part is that I don’t feel 20 years older than I actually am.

    I don’t drop weight while regularly lifting. I was actually quite surprised by that. Even watching my food intake somewhat closely doesn’t tick the scale downward. I could drop 50-70lbs and still have a fat percentage that starts with a 2, but I haven’t found a good way to drop weight while lifting.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t drop weight while regularly lifting.

    How do your clothes fit? There’s nothing wrong with muscle weight. If you’re trading pounds of fat for pounds of muscle, don’t worry about it.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I could drop 50-70lbs and still have a fat percentage that starts with a 2

      Trashy is a big boy and should be doing cardio too.

      • trshmnstr

        Yep. I do some, but not enough.

        I’m much healthier than I was 5 years ago, but there is room for improvement, to be sure.

        I don’t know if 70lbs actually would leave me in the 20s for body fat percentage, but I’m 6’1” 275 right now, and I’m guessing that 200-215 would be my happy place. Maybe 225 if I go all in on the lifting.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You don’t have to tell anyone you do the “hot girl walk,” but 30 minutes, 3 mph, 12% incline on a treadmill is pretty effective.

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    My home course is about 3 miles of gentle hilly grass/dirt, perfect for low impact workouts. I play enought to stay in pretty good shape except a bit of the old back problems.

  22. The Hyperbole

    One benefit of working for a living is that one doesn’t have to worry about working out.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Then you retire in good shape, easier to maintain

  23. Raven Nation

    A comment on the immigration raids that were discussed in the a.m. links.

    And, apologies for being anecdotal and (deliberately) vague: some folks I know who run a small, family company, employ a number of foreign-born workers. All of these workers have provided legal documentation which has been submitted through the government bureaucracy. Many of them have been in the country (and worked for the company) for decades. However, anecdotally, via second-hand sources, my friend who works there is pretty sure (but not certain) that at least some of these folks do not have kosher documentation. I’m not sure how that company should/could be dealt with.

    Not necessarily arguing with anything that was posted this morning, just contributing.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The I-9 gives the employer deniability, the check, its the GOv’s job to vett them, crafty eh?

    • trshmnstr

      IMO, if the company did their process correctly from their side and got a positive response from FedGov, they shouldn’t be liable for hiring fraudsters.

      To provide my own anecdote (I’ve mentioned it here before), I volunteered in a daca clinic for a day for work, and they were trying to get us to lie on the forms less than an hour in. Specifically, they wanted us to attest that people hadn’t committed identity theft when we had plain evidence that they did.

      Theres a lot of infrastructure set up to help illegals function here, and it all needs to be dismantled.

    • Tundra

      There is a ton of ID theft in that world. So the IDs will pass the silly E-Verify thing but they aren’t remotely legit. And I’m sure your anecdote is happening literally everywhere. What to do about the companies? I think 5 years ago you turn a blind eye, but since the Biden administration opened the floodgates that’s out the door. It’s a shit situation no matter how you slice it.

      I know I would be dropping the hammer on the giant companies first, though. That would send a message right quick I think.

      • creech

        Why would Trump drop the hammer on the giant companies? Haven’t we been told by all the right sources that he is a fascist goon only interested in lining pockets of millionaires and billionaires?

  24. The Other Kevin

    There are studies that say grip strength is a good indicator of longevity. You are supposed to be able to dead hang for x seconds at certain ages.

    I think this is one of those correlation/causation things. If you have a good grip, you work out. And if you can dead hang for a long time, you’re probably not overweight.

  25. Sensei

    Here’s a Slate article I’m not clicking:

    Sex advice: I’m a male gynecologist. It’s complicating my dating life in ways I didn’t expect.

  26. R C Dean

    One thing to add:

    This may be mostly a me thing, but my biggest challenge* at 62 is mobility/flexibility. I struggle with decent form on a lot of powerlifting because of it, to the point Mrs. Dean won’t let me do some exercises until I can my body lined up right. Bad form is what causes injuries, and lack of mobility (as well as ignorance) is what causes a lot of bad form.

    *well, other than just being lazy

    • PutridMeat

      Mrs. Dean won’t let me do some exercises until I can my body lined up right.

      That’s not even really a euphemism, just a declarative statement.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Machines are not always to be poo-poo’d.

      If you have access to a hack squat machine (I see you do not, but for others) then it’s fine to skip regular back squatting.