Twenty-Six
That night, the New Pyrenees Mountains
“There, see over in that tree line?” Mike whispered. “Two guards, right where they were last time.” Thomas Quiet Water nodded. “The meadow is less than a click away, right up that hill.” They could hear the activity coming from up the slope. A low chatter of voices, the humming of equipment, and an occasional slamming door all echoed faintly down to where Mike and Thomas hid under the overhanging branches of a large pine. “We’ll have to get around them quietly. Come on, let’s get back to the others.”
The two scouts slipped silently away to where the rest of the group waited in a cluster of tall ferns at the edge of a ravine. Thunder rumbled overhead as a faint strobe of lightning lit the woods briefly. “Storm might work for us,” Thomas pointed out.
“There’s two guards watching the valley leading uphill,” Mike announced. “I can get at least one of them with my bow. Nathaniel, can you take out the other one?”
The tall Zulu nodded.
“OK,” Mike continued. He struck a small light-stick and dropped it on a bare patch of ground, squatting to draw with a stick in the dust. “Here’s the valley, it sort of curves up this way and hooks into the meadow at the bottom edge. The two guards are right here,” he made two small X’s in the dirt, “Nathaniel and I can come in from these big trees on this edge to within about ten meters. Close enough for you, Nathaniel?”
“Yes, I should think so. As long as there isn’t any brush or fern in the way, I should be able to hit a target at that distance.” He hefted the intimidating Zulu spear.
“Good. I’ll take out the far one with my bow while you take out the near one. Beauregard, you and Mick can slip up the other side of the valley, there’s a really huge old pine right about here,” he pointed, “and cover us with your rifles, in case something gets messed up. The rest of you wait right here. Everyone know what a coyote sounds like?” There were several blank looks, so Mike demonstrated. “If you hear that, come on up the valley, and Nathaniel or I will meet up with you to go up the rest of the way to the meadow. If there’s any shooting, everyone get away as fast as you can, break up and scatter. We’ll meet up back at the place we stayed over the day yesterday. Everyone got that? Anyone got any questions?”
“Yeah, mate, what do we do once we get up there?” Mick Menmunny asked.
“Then it’s up to me, I guess,” Gerald Richfield interjected. “I’ll see if I can spot the receiving station for their broadcast power and then we’ll have to figure out how to wreck it.”
“Anyone else? OK, that’s it then. Beauregard and Mick, we’ll give you ten minutes’ head start to get set up to cover us. This is it, guys. Good luck, everyone.” The Cajun and the Aborigine faded silently into the night.
“You know, Michael,” Tzukuli observed, “You’ve the makings of quite the revolutionary leader, old chap. You’ve got a head for tactics.”
“Yeah, well, the heck with tactics. I’ll take a nice quiet life in the mountains anytime, with a nice cabin, my girl, and some good hunting.”
“Wouldn’t we all?” A deep chuckle rolled from Tzukuli’s barrel chest.
“Time for us to get moving,” Mike said a few minutes later, glancing at the treetops that were beginning to bend and whip in the freshening wind. “The breeze is blowing across, that ought to help.” They set off into the darkness.
Ten minutes later, they were watching the two bored, tired Grugell sentinels from the shelter of a massive pine trunk.
“Are you ready?” Mike whispered as he nocked an arrow.
The tall Zulu merely nodded and raised the great spear in his right hand, point aimed at the nearest Grugell soldier. Tzukuli’s target turned away from the two hidden scouts briefly, calling in a low voice to his comrade.
“Now,” Mike hissed, and the two let loose their weapons.
Both struck true. Mike’s arrow struck home in his target’s eye, slamming though his brain and dropping him to the forest floor. Before his colleague could react, Tzukuli’s spear struck him in the back, the long steel head penetrating all the way through his chest. The stick-thin figure looked down once, shook his head, and fell silently to the side.
The two scouts retrieved their weapons and rolled the bodies into a clump of ferns. Mike let out the characteristic yipping howl of the small predator of his native Idaho then the two found a sheltered spot to hide and wait.
In the space of a few moments, the Cajun and the Australian native crept down the hill, almost tripping over Tzukuli before the Zulu whispered, “Careful, lads.”
Five minutes later, the rest of their party arrived. “OK, this is it. Two by two, keep the pair in front of you in sight, but don’t shoot unless you’re shot at. Nathaniel, let’s you and I go first. Doc Richfield, you and Yuri follow Nathaniel and I up. I know a spot where we can see most of the meadow from a big tree.”
To see more of Animal’s writing, visit his page at Crimson Dragon Publishing or Amazon.
No combat armor? No personal force shields?
Fucking boy scouts could take these Grugell out.
They haven’t faced an armed adversary in generations.
In which case it’s a perfect situation to have extremely stylized and impractical wargear with visual flair.
You wear armor when you expect resistance.
Or when you want to show off.
You dress casual when you’re out managing the livestock.
This. The Gurgles are suffering from their own warrior-race pretensions.
Next human planet they try to colonize, maybe they’ll do the smart thing and hit the major population centers with persistent nerve agents, from orbit.
I’ve got a reproduction of the 1910 Boy Scout handbook. It was definitely a paramilitary training program back then. How to properly cross a ridgeline to not be seen by the enemy, stalking and setting ambushes, that sort of thing.
Fucking boy scouts could take these Grugell out.
Avenge me
The chair is against the wall.
John has a long mustache.
It’s going to be a long day.
Almost too easy.
Question:
When you start having the heroes drop bodies, do you have a list somewhere of how much cannon fodder there is?
Sounds too much like work – there’s as many as the plot requires.
See, I would have thought that you off all people would say “well, there’s only one battalion being sent and they can only sustain X% losses before their campaign ends with a retreat and I need Y battles so therefore no battle can inflict Z casualties.”
I will think like that, but I will also ask “But what will make for the better story?”
Certainly round one.
Some final solution to the human problem will be in the works after the Grugell lose this next battle, methinks.
I don’t know how the hell I did it, but I came up with an article idea, wrote it up, and submitted it all within 24 hours. What’s gotten into me?
The muse has struck.
I was sick this weekend, and Mrs. TOK and I have decided to not mindlessly watch TV this month. Which means I was actually bored for once, and had the entire thing written in my head yesterday afternoon.
But I do feel the sudden urge to wrap up the other ones I have in draft.
Do It!
https://media1.tenor.com/m/c-rGXR5TppsAAAAd/1980s-godfather-pizza-do-it.gif
I saw one of these space alien looking critters this morning on my porch:
https://www.news-press.com/story/life/outdoors/2016/05/14/eastern-lubber-grasshopper-toxin-wild-file-stetson/84127598/
***
The large, brightly colored Eastern lubber grasshopper is hard to miss. Its bright orange, yellow and red colors are a warning to predators that it contains toxins that will make it sick. But the colors are a spectacular sight for people just watching the slow moving, large grasshopper displaying its hues.
It is much better to watch than touch this insect. If you pick up this grasshopper it will make a loud hissing noise and secrete an irritating, foul-smelling foamy spray.
The four-inch long grasshopper cannot fly. Instead it moves in short clumsy hops. It can also walk or crawl.
…
In the adult stage they can look different depending on where they live. In northern Florida, this insect is mostly black with yellow markings. The lubbers in southern Florida are mostly yellow with red and black markings and red on the forewings.
***
Also sometimes known as the ‘Georgia Thumper’. Seriously.
I had one of those a few days ago. I stopped edging the lawn so it could hop away.
If you pick up this grasshopper it will make a loud hissing noise and secrete an irritating, foul-smelling foamy spray.
As do I.
I feel like a lot of people’s wives could have written than.
I had a pug dog that loved eating grasshoppers. One day, my cat was outside watching him catch and eat grasshopper and she thinks they must be wonderful since he loved them so much. So the cat easily catches a hopper and crunches down on it, and I have never seen such a look of disgust on a cat’s face before, she seemed to think she was set up. The dog, seeing this, walks over and proceeds to polish off her catch, and after that it was on. The cat would go around and catch grasshoppers, take them over to the dog and drop them in front of him where he would proceed to happily munch them down. I had to put them up because I didn’t want to clean up dog grasshopper vomit later. She was an odd cat, but she sure did love that dog.
Great, your pets are some of those WEF acolytes who want us to eat the bugs.
Our shih-tzu poodle mixes (literally called a “shih-poo”) think that every bug is a fun new playmate. They tend to bat them around with their paws and kill them in the process. I’ve found them playing around with dead spiders, earwigs, and big ants.
I was BBQ’ing one day and a bigass grasshopper whizzed by my head and landed on a bench on the back porch. I didn’t think much of it, but a few days later it was still there and apparently laying down. I looked closer, and there was strange movement from its abdomen. There were some kind of larvae inside. I poked it with a stick and a bunch of little white maggots came wriggling out. I crushed the poor grasshopper to put it out of its misery and killed the fiendish maggots too, whatever they were.
/ Assigning value judgements to the lives of insects
The more correct way would have been fire. Kill it with fire.
This is why you don’t eat zee bugs.
Parasite load is wild with them.
Don’t fret; factory-farmed bugs are certified parasite-free* by the International Council on Insect Farming for Human Consumption (ICIFHC).
* – guaranteed no more than 2.5 detectable parasites per 100k bugs consumed, subject to sovereign immunity considerations.
Dilemma
Immigration has become a political flashpoint as countries across the West try to cope with an influx of migrants seeking a better life as they flee war-torn countries, poverty, regions wracked by climate change or political persecution. The debate in the U.K. has focused on migrants crossing the English Channel in overloaded boats run by smugglers, as well as escalating tensions over housing tens of thousands of asylum-seekers at public expense.
Not mentioned: western meddling and performative do-gooder-ism which have helped turn those countries into failed shitholes.
“they flee war-torn countries, poverty, regions wracked by climate change or political persecution”
One of these things is not like the other…
What are these regions that have become uninhabitable due to climate change? I’ll wait while you make up a list.
The Sahara was once a lush, green land. 10,000 years ago the mammoths were driving SUVs, probably.
Also not mentioned: The tendency of some Western governments to give them practically indefinite free housing and all kinds of other benefits at taxpayer expense.
regions wracked by climate change or political persecution
Then why are they ending up in Europe – what with the dreadful climate problems there, not to mention the political persecutions.
amusing
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/ukrainian-morale-suffers-as-troop-favourite-warhammer-stops-translating-novels/ar-AA1L9WhP
***
The hobby maker said it suspended sales of Warhammer products to Russia in March 2022, in protest at Vladimir Putin’s illegal full-scale invasion of Ukraine.
Warhammer continues to be popular in Russia despite this, with some Russian soldiers bringing Warhammer-inspired “purity seals” to the battlefield as good luck charms.
Playing a wargame about genocidal fascist super-soldiers and bloodthirsty aliens might seem a strange pastime for Ukrainian soldiers, who have enough war to deal with in their real lives.
But veterans’ charities said that painting the miniatures and using them to wage fantasy battles on a tabletop could be therapeutic, especially after a soldier ended their service.
There is some evidence that Warhammer may help veterans recover from post-traumatic stress disorder, according to Steve Guziec, a US Army chaplain and trauma therapist.
***
Not just Warhammer (BOOOOO Games Work$hop!) but also table-top roleplaying games in general. And not just veterans with PTSD – a friend of mine has been doing research on using TTRPGs as therapy for victims of child abuse. It’s a real thing.
So I can tell my wife those hours playing Axis and Allies are actually good for me?
I wanna play Kevin.
Have t played in years. No one wants to play with me.
Same here. When I was in college, my art teacher’s sons would have Axis and Allies parties. We would play multiple times in a night. The game is such that the Axis needs to have some victories early on, or it’s a lost cause. They could tell if it was worth continuing, or restarting.
My other game that nobody likes to play is the Civilization board game. I don’t think I ever played it all the way to the end. The board is huge and there are tons of pieces. And it takes hours to play. I love it.
I have a lot of trauma to work through. It’s time to break out World In Flames.
Open Source Axis and Allies game.
There was an episode of Big Bang Theory where Sheldon got them to play the most complicated game ever created. I read up on it and watched that episode again, and I have to say they really put some effort into that gag.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Campaign_for_North_Africa
TOK:
Look towards Diplomacy or Twilight Imperium for those big heavy games.
I like to play the axis.
I hate the long supply lines of the US.
You have to stomp out the Soviets as a priority.
As I recall, it was key for the Axis to destroy Russia right away, and Russia had to buy lots of infantry and hope to weather the storm.
The US couldn’t do much at first, but they were protected by the oceans and once they ramped up production the game was basically over.
Nazis invade Soviet Uníon one month earlier combined with acting as liberators to the population instead of murderous conquerors
Yeah, ironically, Ukraine would’ve been receptive to a liberation narrative post Holodomor.
https://www.iflscience.com/death-metal-can-be-used-attract-great-white-sharks-32007
***
A documentary film crew found that blasting death metal tunes into the water can actually help attract great white sharks. Filming for the Shark Week show “Bride of Jaws,” the Discovery Channel film crew used a military underwater speaker to pump out heavy metal in the sea to try to attract a 4.8 meter (16 foot) shark, awesomely known as “Joan of Shark.” They didn’t attract Joan, however they did entice two others to come up to the boat, one of which was over 4.2 meters (14 feet) long.
Sharks feel the vibrations of sound waves through their lateral line, a sense organ that runs through their head right down the side of their body to their tail fin. Great whites are supersensitive to low-frequency vibrations, which they use to detect shoals of fish, so the thumping, rumbling tones and beats of death metal are perfect for the sharks to pick up on.
This isn’t the first time great white sharks have been known to like their music a little heavy. A few years ago, an Australian shark tour operator, found out AC/DC songs had a similar effect.
***
Science marches on!
Oh C’mon. Heavy metal? Not that little Diddy by John Williams?
Holy crusade
New York Attorney General Letitia James is not backing down.
Her sprawling business fraud case against President Trump took a meteoric hit when a divided appeals court Thursday threw out the roughly $500 million civil fraud penalty against him and his company despite keeping the case intact.
However, she vowed to appeal to the state’s highest court, even as the Justice Department has turned up the heat on her, pursuing probes scrutinizing her office and personal real estate in an escalation of Trump’s vows for retribution against his foes.
James is among Trump’s most prominent adversaries after winning the civil fraud case against him and his business, resulting in a finding that he altered his net worth for tax and insurance benefits — a blow to his real estate mogul image.
It puts New York’s top prosecutor back on a collision course with the president.
Saint Letitia and the dragon. She will save us.
“Trump’s vows for retribution against his foes.”
He did? How did I miss that?
C’mon, surely you heard about the blood oath the DoJ all swore with him against the great black whale.
All they did was imply that he should be executed for treason and gleefully threatened to put his family in prison – what kind of unhinged nutcase would want revenge for that??
The walls are closing in!
Lubber grasshoppers…or as we call them ‘army crickets’. There is a reason a giant slow moving insect with no means to inflict harm survives: yes, they are poisonous. You can pick them up…the poison wont really bother you as long as you dont get it in your mouth or eyes. We used to play with them when we were kids….or use them for BB gun practice.
Also, they harbor a very nasty worm that can be fatal to humans. I dont know about dogs but I would not let my dog eat them.
Unless you are a sadistic killer like we were as kids just leave them alone.
Now I want to play hooky from work, get a BB gun and shoot stuff.
Those Bug-a-Salt guns are fucking awesome for troublesome bugs. I mostly use them to kill flies in the house, but sometimes I actually yearn for more flies just for the thrill of the hunt.
Tip: The manual and all the promotional videos show them using table salt, but load it with kosher salt (bigger grains) and there’s very often no discernible bug left, just a splatter of goo that you have to wipe up your window with a tissue.
I used the Bug-a-Salt on black widows in the yard in San Diego. For a while we had a huge population.
“I do think it’s clear that this is retribution,” said Catherine Christian, a veteran New York trial lawyer who has closely followed the case.
“This is like, ‘I’m paying you back for what you did to me,’” she said.
Public servants should never face consequences for their actions.
They’re burying the lede here. This person (and anyone else who writes these articles) are admitting Trump was wronged. You don’t get “revenge” or “retribution” unless someone did something wrong to you first.
Trump wants to ban flag burning. The repubs do this shit over and over and over again.
Burning a flag is one of the ultimate forms of protesting the government. If the 1st covers anything, it covers burning the flag.
What a colossal wasted of time and energy.
Red meat for the MAGAites.
I hate that he does this crap. To paraphrase my kids: He does a lot of really good stuff, then I’m like, bruh.
They are the stupid party.
The freakout over flag burning is ascribing almost religious significance to the act of burning a physical object, as though some damage is being done through sympathetic magic.
Now if they stole the flag from city hall or something, sure, charge them with theft. And other charges if the fire gets out of control and damages things.
Uh…technically I imagine making a fire in a public place without a permission slip from the fire Marshall is a crime and should be.
The burning of a flag in and of itself is political speech. Making that a crime would do far more damage to the country than a protester burning a freakin piece of cloth.
The party tried to ram through a constitutional amendment. Because this has already been rule on by the courts.
It’s beyond stupid, even for the stupid party.
Aw fuck. That idiocy again?
If I promise to burn a Bible instead of a flag, does that make the idiots feel better?
Wrap the Bible in a flag. Or, for bonus points, wrap the Koran in a Trans Pride flag!
Now I’m wondering what we’d need to bundle together to get all the major religions outraged at the burning.
Would a deepfake of John Travolta making out with Tom Cruise be enough to drag in the Scientologists?
Thats not what’s in the EO, read it.
I’ve only read the headline.
What does the EO say?
Matt Taibbi said it best: “I actually think it’s worse. It’s a backdoor way to get speech policing by describing flag burning as an element of the crime when it isn’t.”
EOs should sing
Looks like he is classifying it as ‘inciting riot’ which is one of the exceptions to the first amendment…that is characterizing it as action, not speech. It is along the lines of woodchippering judges on courthouse steps I guess.
Ed, I think it will be argued as being a crime itself. I am not sure that will fly. The whole purpose of making ‘incitement’ a crime is because it is an element of a larger crime. If one is prosecuted for incitement doesnt the prosecution have to show that something was incited?
This is the kind of sticky bullshit we get into when we start splitting hairs over inalienable rights.
Arson on the other hand….
I hit send too quickly.
arson is a state crime and Trump is trying to make it a federal matter. I think that would be a power grab too far and the courts would strike it down.
How about we just let the local fire Marshall deal with this? *Hears thousands of fire Marshalls groan and facepalm*
Trump wants to ban flag burning.
Rainbow flags, too?
Notwithstanding the Supreme Court’s rulings on First Amendment protections, the Court has never held that American Flag desecration conducted in a manner that is likely to incite imminent lawless action or that is an action amounting to “fighting words” is constitutionally protected. See Texas v. Johnson, 491 U.S. 397, 408-10 (1989).
We will decide what you meant when you burnt the flag.
My Administration will act to restore respect and sanctity to the American Flag and prosecute those who incite violence or otherwise violate our laws while desecrating this symbol of our country, to the fullest extent permissible under any available authority.
Sec. 2. Measures to Combat Desecration of the American Flag. (a) The Attorney General shall prioritize the enforcement to the fullest extent possible of our Nation’s criminal and civil laws against acts of American Flag desecration that violate applicable, content-neutral laws, while causing harm unrelated to expression, consistent with the First Amendment. This may include, but is not limited to, violent crimes; hate crimes, illegal discrimination against American citizens, or other violations of Americans’ civil rights; and crimes against property and the peace, as well as conspiracies and attempts to violate, and aiding and abetting others to violate, such laws.
(b) In cases where the Department of Justice or another executive department or agency (agency) determines that an instance of American Flag desecration may violate an applicable State or local law, such as open burning restrictions, disorderly conduct laws, or destruction of property laws, the agency shall refer the matter to the appropriate State or local authority for potential action.
(c) To the maximum extent permitted by the Constitution, the Attorney General shall vigorously prosecute those who violate our laws in ways that involve desecrating the American Flag, and may pursue litigation to clarify the scope of the First Amendment exceptions in this area.
The process is the punishment.
(d) The Secretary of State, the Attorney General, and the Secretary of Homeland Security, acting within their respective authorities, shall deny, prohibit, terminate, or revoke visas, residence permits, naturalization proceedings, and other immigration benefits, or seek removal from the United States, pursuant to Federal law, including 8 U.S.C. 1182(a), 8 U.S.C. 1424, 8 U.S.C. 1427, 8 U.S.C. 1451(c), and 8 U.S.C. 1227(a), whenever there has been an appropriate determination that foreign nationals have engaged in American Flag-desecration activity under circumstances that permit the exercise of such remedies pursuant to Federal law.
There it is.
He should sign an EO requiring all US flags to be made of asbestos