First Football Friday Afternoon Links

by | Sep 5, 2025 | Cocktails, Daily Links, I Am Lame | 126 comments

It’s official, At this point, the Browns are NOT the worst team in the league, that would be the Cowboys. The Browns haven’t lost yet. I’ll be there on Sunday, you can try to look for me. I’ll be the guy in a Flacco jersey, to the right of the uprights in the Dawg Pound. I’m even going gutsy in one of my fantasy leagues and starting Jeudy over Higgins. But the important thing to remember about fantasy football is “No one cares about your fantasy football team“. But you don’t care about this intro, you want some links:

I’m sure there’s no reason this happened right before the season started. It’s good that there’s a simple and easy way to see all the games.

We don’t particularly care for you either.

I would like letters of marque to come back into style too.

He knew not the accepted Catechism.

They still fail the ideological Turing test even when making reasonable points.

Believe in one hand, shit in the other…

The UK can never talk shite about American beer again.

They’re not bad parents, I mean their kids go to Columbia!

Fuck you Bibb! Maybe stop being so shitty about the Browns moving 10 miles away.

This from the man who wrote a pre-teen sewer orgy.

*sigh* Not a Martini, but I do generally approve of using seasonal fruit in your drinks.

I’ll admit to being a fan of these as well. It does lead to a question I’ve got for the motley crew here: has anyone seen a commercial shrub (drinking vinegar) for sale in the mixer section where you get your liquor?

As the weather starts to cool, it’s time to switch away from the Negronis for a more appropriate autumn drink.

Boulevardier

  • 1 part (1 oz) bourbon/rye
  • 1 part (1 oz) Campari
  • 1 part (1 oz) Sweet Vermouth

I trust by now, you all know that vermouth will go bad quickly after opening, even moreso if it’s not in the fridge. I’ll also point out that most recipes will bump up the whiskey portion by about a quarter part, I prefer keeping things simple, but as always, adjust as you see fit. To make this drink, fill a mixing glass/pitcher with ice, add in the ingredients, and stir until chilled (remember the general rule of thumb, spirit only drinks are stirred, ones with juice/syrups are shaken). Strain into a chilled coupe glass (up) or into a rocks glass with fresh ice (rocks). Express an orange twist over the drink and use it to garnish. Sip and enjoy sophistication.

With that, I leave you with the song of my people.

Here we go Brownies, here we go!

About The Author

Nephilium

Nephilium

Nephilium is a geek of multiple types living in the vast suburban forests of Cleveland.

126 Comments

  1. Sean

    1 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓽𝓸 𝓰𝓸 𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓶𝔂 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼.

    • SDF-7

      Sean — you are obviously planning to be a font of human kindness once your weekend begins.

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s a bold statement.

      • Tonio

        He’s kerning, he’s kerning, he’s kerning for you.

    • DEG

      I was going to drop off work early. I started making changes in some poorly written code, and then decided to fix the poorly written code on top of making that change.

      I am reminded of the xkcd cartoon about “someone being wrong on the Internet”.

  2. SDF-7

    simple and easy way

    Holy crap, dude…. it may be simple and easy — but 50 to 80 dollars a month just to watch sportsball? Fuck that, frankly.

    • Nephilium

      It’s not simple nor easy, especially when you start putting in blackouts and regional restrictions.

      • Pat

        You’re only meant to see the games that air in your local market via broadcast on the public airwaves; else chaos and anarchy would quickly envelop us.

  3. SDF-7

    I would like letters of marque to come back into style too.

    Paging Lee Van Cleef to the Bounty Hunter secure line… Mr. van Cleef to the Bounty Hunter secure line — the train to Tucumcari is ready to board….

  4. Tonio

    “I would like letters of marque to come back into style too.”

    Me, too. Privateers count as at least semi-pirates, right? Flamboyant uniforms and mannerisms. Rum, sodomy, and the lash. Sign me up.

    • SDF-7

      “… the Napoleonic Era Royal Navy sailors called it brutal discipline and hardship, lightened only by the liquor ration…. Tonio called it ‘A good weekend’…”

      • Tonio

        The Royal Navy rum ration was an interesting thing. I’ve heard it speculated that it was instituted at just the right level to keep the sailors as high-functioning alcoholics while in service, then guaranteeing they would drink heavily in retirement thus lessening pension expenditures over time.

        There was also, apparently, a system of micro-sharing of the ration based on favors done, or affronts commited. I pinch the ginger lad’s bum and he could legits claim a sip of my next rum ration, a proper grope and I’d have to give him a proper gulp.

      • (((Jarflax

        Grope and gulp? So a BJ with lots of hand action.

      • ron73440

        a proper grope and I’d have to give him a proper gulp.

        Well, there’s a euphimism I’ve never heard before.

      • Tonio

        ” So a BJ with lots of hand action.”

        That’s the straight chick version of a BJ. Even most female pr0nstars are lazy in that regard. All the way in, or GTFO.

      • Aloysious

        Paging Linda Lovelace…

      • EvilSheldon

        And here we see the real reason that even the cramped quarters of H.M.S. Victory had a section reserved for sheep. The woolly buggers won’t try to hit you up for your booze ration…

  5. DEG

    However, as the timeline shows, this was years ago. Quite why the State Department chose this moment to put a sizable bounty on their heads is unclear, since the suspects will presumably avoid US territory and countries that have an extradition treaty with America.

    I’m thinking of ways the bounty can tie into the Russia-Ukraine War. Negotiating tool for ending it? Escalation? Embrace the power of “and”?

  6. Pat

    Prosecutors accuse Marat Valeryevich Tyukov, Mikhail Mikhailovich Gavrilov, and Pavel Aleksandrovich Akulovof, of targeting over 500 energy companies in 135 countries, using the ancient Cisco flaw to hijack thousands of networking devices to harvest information and install malware.

    And the clowns who didn’t patch their shit for 7 years can be sued for negligence by their shareholders and customers. Right?

    • EvilSheldon

      Probably not successfully, if they read into evidence all the instances of vendor patches borking your system…

  7. The Other Kevin

    I won’t be watching the sports, but it’s time for our hometown festival, our tribute to former resident Orville Redenbacher. His niece used to be his assistant, and she lived in my neighborhood until she passed away a few years ago.

    https://www.valparaisoevents.com/event/valparaiso-popcorn-festival

    • SDF-7

      Sounds like there’s a kernel of civic pride there — more than enough to get folks to come out of their shells, it seems.

      • The Other Kevin

        If any of you are in the area, you should pop in.

      • The Other Kevin

        And yes, they do sell fresh popcorn, and yes, the floats are covered with real popcorn. We’re going to work on the roller derby team’s float tonight.

      • Pat

        they do sell fresh popcorn, and yes, the floats are covered with real popcorn

        You don’t need to butter us up.

      • SDF-7

        Just be careful what kinds of kids show up… they might end up stalking you.

      • (((Jarflax

        No need to get salty SDF!

      • Aloysious

        This is so corny, I can’t stop giggling.

        Anyone up to play some cornhole?

      • (((Jarflax

        First grope and gulp, now cornhole? Is this Grindr?

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Sounds amaizeing.

      • Fourscore

        “If any of you are in the area, you should pop in.”

        But not the Old Maids

      • (((Jarflax

        Hmm, I think what that grope, gulp and cornhole joke needs to really work is a popper.

  8. SDF-7

    The UK can never talk shite about American beer again.

    Sharia will ban alcohol there soon enough anyway. Then they’ll really double down on being tea snobs.

  9. Shpip

    Afterward, a distant acquaintance commented on my video: “F# that noise. Everybody who voted against us is JUST WRONG.” He called me a sellout and dismissed the very idea of a big tent.

    The Democrat party used to be a tent big enough to have both Lloyd Bentsen and Jesse Jackson. And they actually won lots of elections fair and square.

    Now they’re the party of angry negroes, noodle-armed soibois, and tatted-up fat chicks with septum rings and poison-frog hair.

    I hope the donks continue to let the campus radicals run the party for the next hundred years.

    • SDF-7

      What’s worrisome is that they are said party — but they still have a lock in of at least 40 percent (probably closer to 45). That’s way too thin a margin of persuadability for my liking, honestly.

      • B.P.

        “Donald Trump is an asshole” carries a huge percentage of the electorate. Okay, fine.

        I know many, many people who have done a complete 180 on policy positions and such just because Donald Trump is an asshole.

      • Pat

        I know many, many people who have done a complete 180 on policy positions and such just because Donald Trump is an asshole.

        Every person employed by the various Kochtopus D.C. think tanks, for example. Trump absolutely mind broke so many fucking people it’s insane. Then again, in many cases, those people were just grifting pieces of shit with no principles to begin with; Trump merely pushed them to pulling their masks off.

  10. SDF-7

    Fuck you Bibb

    “Millennial politicians are impatient to lead”… Hmm… I can’t imagine a phrase that would be more likely to drive GenX to MAiD… I guess that’s their plan to reduce retirement outflows once the Boomers finally exit the stage.

  11. SDF-7

    Re: Stephen King — am I wrong in remembering that he was doing a lot of cocaine in his younger (better) years? Sober King is Prissy King.

  12. R.J.

    Here’s my question: do you know of any vermouths sold in small bottles so you can finish it before it goes bad? Not including the wretched “Martini and Rossi” stuff.
    I’d personally like it in mini fridge bottles.

  13. SDF-7

    I do generally approve of using seasonal fruit in your drinks.

    I look forward to your muscadine wine coolers then. Or in October being in the right zone of the country… Dandelion Wine Coolers.

    • Nephilium

      Never seen muscadine wine, and dandelion wine would need to be made in the spring here. I looked into it once, and immediately noped the hell out of it. I am not gathering pounds of only the YELLOW pedals from dandelions from areas that I’m certain are not sprayed with pesticides and the like.

      • DEG

        Never seen muscadine wine

        It’s a southern thing. I’ve seen it in North Carolina.

        For dandelion wine, there is a place on the North Shore of Massachusetts that makes or used to make it. They add raisins to the must to sweeten it a bit.

      • Nephilium

        DEG:

        The raisins also add yeast nutrients (at least, that’s what I’ve seen in mead forums). I’m pretty sure at least one of the Amish wineries around here sells dandelion wine, but as much as I enjoy Bradbury, I’ve never felt the need to pick it up (especially after seeing a recipe for it).

      • Shpip

        They add raisins to the must to sweeten it a bit.

        Why not just dry the grapes a bit to concentrate things, then make wine straight from that?

        There are lots of examples: Vin Santo, Amarone, Recioto della Valpolicella, etc. Great stuff that fetches a high price.

        It’s all about raisin awareness.

  14. rhywun

    How to watch every football game without cable

    LOL I love the implication that subscribing to six different pay-streams is somehow “easier” than one cable subscription used to be.

    • Nephilium

      The one clock I routinely point out to people who come to games with me is the one that has the TV timeout duration on it.

    • R.J.

      No shit. I just gave up. “Give me free streaming or give me death!”

      • rhywun

        When I moved into my current apartment, the gen Z or whatever manager looked at me like I had an extra head when I asked how do I set up the cable? She said everyone just streams everything. They literally had no idea that I had to call the cable company (that I am paying for in my rent, mind you) to get a box mailed to me. The building is mostly grad students who apparently have endless amounts of money to spend. (They’re all Chinese so this could very well be true.)

  15. SDF-7

    Strain into a chilled coupe glass

    And here I thought all the manufacturers were locked into SUV glasses.

  16. The Other Kevin

    “He knew not the accepted Catechism.”

    He does have some wacky ideas, but he stuck to his guns:
    Kids are getting way more vaccines than they used to, mostly untested, and we don’t know what harm that might cause.
    We know there are a lot more kids with obesity, autism, chronic diseases, and mental health issues; we need to figure out why.
    Regarding COVID, our own government and pharma companies lied to us, so we still don’t have any real stats.
    Our lawmakers have had years to do something about these issues, and did nothing. Almost all get money from the companies they’re supposed to be regulating.

    I’m still 100% fine with him.

    • juris imprudent

      Kids are getting way more vaccines than they used to

      Why any child could just pick up Hep B you know. That’s the one that really kills me – there can’t be even a 1 in 10 chance of contracting Hep B, ever. Why vaccinate, even if low-risk and high-success, against something you aren’t at all likely to ever contract?

      • The Other Kevin

        You forgot about HPV, which is transmitted through sex. They want kids to get that one, too.

      • Tonio

        The route of HPV transmission is primarily through skin-to-skin or skin-to-mucosa contact. Sexual transmission is the most documented, but there have been studies suggesting non-sexual courses. The horizontal transfer of HPV includes fomites, fingers, and mouth, skin contact (other than sexual).

        Source.

      • Pat

        I oppose any form of mandate for any vaccine, but I wouldn’t freak out about giving the HPV vax to my kid if I had one. They’re presumably going to have sex eventually (statistically speaking, most likely before they finish high school; but it could be whenever) and it’s still going to be to their benefit to avoid cervical cancer, or head and neck cancer, respectively.

        And while non-sexual transmission is possible, let’s be honest, that’s the primary method, and the one you’re primarily hedging against.

      • PutridMeat

        Plus the fact that it’s a blood test – any mother giving birth is going to get a blood test. You know exactly which baby might be at risk. But no, we’ve gotta hit everybody, regardless of risk. Because jabbing babies with shit that’s never been tested the way they are administering it is totally without risk.

        To Pat – as for HPV; OK, but why are you giving it in the child hood vaccine schedule? They ain’t going to be having sex for hopefully at least a few years. So, if you must, give it when they are reaching puberty. Why give it on top of the 30 others you are sticking them with in the first few months of life, with zero evidence regarding the efficacy or risk of that sort of schedule?

      • Pat

        OK, but why are you giving it in the child hood vaccine schedule?

        Tbh, the HPV vaccine was invented a bit after I was of the age for it, but I thought I remembered it being done during middle school when it was first being rolled out. I know the childhood vaccine schedule has broadened quite a bit though. If I had a kid, I’d probably be inclined to wait on it.

      • PutridMeat

        I thought I remembered it being done during middle school when it was first being rolled out.

        You are correct, recommended 1st dose at 9 years old. I was confusing my Hep B rant with the HPV rant. Too many rants to keep straight.

        I’m still not convinced of the cost-benefit of it though – “estimated that 85% of adults have it. Difficult to detect because most have no symptoms or it goes away”. Better be a very well defined very lost cost/risk in that case.

      • Threedoor

        The HPV shot is one that has a crap ton of vares side effects.

        My wife got the first one because we lived on an aren’t made and the dirty whores dragged their slug trails all over the place.

        It made he sick as shit and she passed out. Army doc said she weals faking it.

    • Pat

      The secretary of health and human services and noted anti-vax conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. just admitted that he doesn’t know how many Americans died from Covid-19.

      The unstated assumption here being that the government has penny-accurate accounting of those figures, notwithstanding the much-publicized incidents of gunshot victims and motorcycle accidents being counted as COVID deaths.

      • The Other Kevin

        If he wanted to be a real asshole, he’d ask if they wanted to know how many died FROM, and how many died WITH.

    • PutridMeat

      No, he knows “the accepted Catechism.”

      It’s a stupid intentional gotcha question. “We call every death that occurred in the last 2 years as a COVID death. Whether it was from, with, or a motorcycle accident. Will you acknowledge our bullshit number so that we can accuse you of killing people please?”

      Kennedy was not saying he doesn’t know what the number you claim is. He was saying your number is complete bullshit because you’ve completely destroyed the ability to know that by lying out your stupid ass and intentionally obfuscating data.

      To cast it as a ‘gotcha’ moment, how could he not know the number, click bait title like TNR did is totally disingenuous. “He so dumb, he knows nothing about COVID!!! How absurd!!” They’re casting him calling out their bullshit lies as being ignorant of COVID.

  17. EvilSheldon

    My Boulevardier is 2 parts Rittenhouse 100-proof rye, 1 part Campari, 1 part Antica Formula sweet vermouth. The equal measures recipe just ends up too sweet for me.

    It is always acceptable, as you note, to make it with bourbon instead of rye.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    A further thought on the vax, from the dying embers of the previous thread:

    My admittedly faulty recollection of the early days of the plague panic is that the “experts” were obdurately opposed to treating symptoms, and obsessed with prevention. Hence arresting people outdoors in a public park playing three on three pickup basketball for violating the ban on acting normally.

    • SDF-7

      I remember it as “stay at home and tough it out if you get it, until you get bad enough to need a ventilator — then go to the hospital”.

      Said hospitals then getting bonus money per patient on a ventilator and the survival rate being terrible.

      But as you say — time fogs the mirror of memory.

      Since I missed the earlier discussion — I was very much in the “putting my foot down to HR as the mandate loomed… but spared by the mandate being shot down from it actually impacting me”. I’d like to think I would have held the line — the experimental nature, that I was already WfH and we were in CA lockdowns and that I was pretty sure we got it in the 01/2020 timeframe when it swept the Bay Area anyway (so had natural antibodies) made the risk nonsensical to me. But I was spared the full test… so who knows?

  19. Sensei

    “Campus activism is messy. The shantytowns and building blockades of the campus anti-apartheid movement of the 1980s were often decried by reactionaries as too disruptive of the “normal” functioning of university life. It turned out that making an omelette required cracking some eggs.”

    I’m sure we can break a few eggs you’d prefer not broken too.

    • Suthenboy

      Hey, that ‘end aparthied’ business…how is that going these days?

  20. Pat

    During a recent interview with The Times U.K., the prolific author criticized the way violence is depicted in superhero movies, such as some in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and DC Studios. Oftentimes, those films don’t show the realistic, gory consequences of violence, despite there being a lot of destruction.

    Yeah, you really want to get the realism right when you’re filming an adaptation of children’s comic books in which superhumans with mystical superpowers put on tights and fight space aliens to save the multi-verse 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️ 🙄️

    • EvilSheldon

      Stephen King cannot get back on the booze and coke soon enough…

  21. rhywun

    That New Republic article… JFC it’s such typical leftist, passive-aggressive whining it’s impossible to go beyond a sentence or two without wanting to gouge my eyes out. I guess they learn to write like that in J-school.

  22. rhywun

    As a liberal, I have lost complete faith that even the most caring Republican will do anything of value to stop gun violence in this country.

    Wow. Leftism in a neat & tidy nutshell. I’m “liberal”. I’m “caring”. But I need “daddy” to stop guns from killing people.

    • Sensei

      As a (hypothetical) conservative I have lost complete faith that even the most caring Democrat will do anything of value to stop crimes by illegal immigrants in this country.

    • juris imprudent

      Even better – stop selling guns to criminals, as if every gun shop runs 20% off if you have a felony conviction. Dumbshit gets NO credit at all from me.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Yeah, the shear number of stolen bases in that Hill piece was pretty impressive.

  23. rhywun

    Columbia punished our kids for protesting against the genocide in Gaza.

    No you lying ratfuckers, they punished your kids for blocking access to Jews, harrassing them, threatening them, etc. etc. That is not acceptable behavior even against a people you so obviously despise.

    • bacon-magic

      They celebrate punishing wrong thinkers. Nice little brownshirts you raised you future recipients of parents of the year.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      And the only punishment occurred once your kids had been doing it for months.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Another day, another mass shooting — and yet another instance of our politicians failing to keep us safe from gun violence.

    Aaaaaand done.

    • Nephilium

      Oh, you have to get to the bit that tells you WHY the Republicans don’t want gun bans. That’s the best part.

      • Suthenboy

        Yeah, that is ……wow. Jos….get back on your meds dude.

      • Threedoor

        Any parent that names their kid Jos gets the chair.

    • EvilSheldon

      The day I ask a politician to keep me safe from anything I will have a fucking tag on my toe.

      • R.J.

        Heh. Oddly correct, because the day you die is the day you start voting democrat.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    The Democrats have a huge opportunity to save lives, while not infringing on people’s right to bear arms. They need to stop focusing on gun bans and instead get aggressive on trafficking and mental illness restrictions. They should force Republicans to answer the following two questions: Why are you okay with gun trafficking? And why are you okay with mentally ill people buying guns?

    Sticking with those two questions might finally break the political deadlock and this ridiculous cycle of shooting, thoughts and prayers, speeches, no action, and then dealing with another shooting.

    What if you could only buy a gun from a store owned and operated by the government ? You know, like Mexico.

    • (((Jarflax

      What if we shoot all the Democrats? Bet we can solve the crime problem then.

      • The Other Kevin

        Scott Adams has proposed banning gun ownership for Democrats. That might work just as well.

    • Akira

      this ridiculous cycle of shooting, thoughts and prayers, speeches, no action, and then dealing with another shooting.

      If you replaced “no action” with “infringing on Constitutional rights”, it would be the same as the Democrat strategy.

  26. Plinker762

    One sure doesn’t need a gun in the city because there is a cop on every corner.

    • The Other Kevin

      Of course, it’s right there in the social contract.

    • EvilSheldon

      Yes, we saw two excellent examples in the dedthred…

      To quote the legendary warrior poet Sir Mix-A-Lot, “911’s just for the rich ones, so I collect guns!”

    • Pat

      When seconds count, the police are only minutes away!

  27. DEG

    The Odd Couple of Horror

    On screen, they were mortal enemies: Baron vs. Creature, Van Helsing vs. Dracula. Whathisname Vs. The Mummy. Off-screen, they were something else entirely.

    The legend of Hammer films was built on the talents of many. Director Terrence Fisher, along with his lead production designer Bernard Robinson and cinematographer Jack Asher, plus composer James Bernard, created Hammer’s undeniably distinct and unmistakable aesthetic. You know within minutes whenever you are watching any Hammer film, be it a Frankenstein film or one of the Draculas or even Slave Girls of the White Rhinoceros.

    But Hammer most likely wouldn’t be remembered at all if it hadn’t been for the Odd Couple of Horror. The aristocratic figure of towering menace and his beloved friend with the sad but intelligent eyes.

    • Beau Knott

      Thank you for that. A lovely tribute to Hammer, Cushing, and Lee!

  28. ron73440

    Has anyone tried these?

    I saw this video and it sounded good, so I bought the old fashioned, strawberry shrub, and the cactus cooler.

    I was hoping to take them with me to Baltimore for after the Dream Theater concert tomorrow, but they haven’y showed up yet.

    • Nephilium

      I have not, I have (on a whim) picked up some of these, and while they work in a pinch, have delusions of grandeur. Look, I’m mixing powder into my booze, why do you think I’m going to garnish it? I’ve seen a couple of companies start doing bitters infused sugar cubes which intrigues me enough that I may make some of my own ($16 for 8 sugar cubes? Fuck off).

      • ron73440

        The bitter infused sugar definitely looks better than powered cocktail flavor.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Seemingly astounded, Warner questioned him again: “You’re the secretary of health and human services. You don’t have any idea how many Americans died from Covid?”

    “I don’t think anybody knows, because there was so much data chaos coming out of the CDC, and—”

    The simple ugly truth, Senator, is the numbers are all bullshit.

    • Suthenboy

      First they were faking it by counting anyone tested positive as having died from it, not just with it. Then they just said fuck it and marked every death as a covid caused death. Car wrecks and bullets do not equal covid.
      There is no science because there is no data. On top of that they lied about what the virus is, whre it came from and lied about what the vaccine which is not a vaccine is. They lied about not making novel viruses. They lied about where the money came from. Is there anything they did not lie about? Masks will save you! No, masks are worse than useless. Jeebus the more I think about it…..
      Not a single word those people have to say can be beleived.

  30. Suthenboy

    “They still fail the ideological Turing test”

    No shit. What the hell did I just read? None of that has any connection to reality whatsoever.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    President Donald Trump and Kennedy have both made references to insufficient data about the Covid-19 vaccine, as well. But hundreds of reports have tracked the efficacy of these vaccines since their release, and they’re estimated to have saved millions of lives—something that Kennedy would not admit, even when New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan brought the point up again.

    Kennedy’s refusal to accept data-driven, evidence-based conclusions when they don’t align with his views was evident throughout the hearing—even as he repeatedly claimed that he was, in fact, “depoliticizing” science.

    The model isn’t political. It just happens to confirm our biased assumptions.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    ($16 for 8 sugar cubes? Fuck off).

    I wouldn’t be surprised if you could get sugar cubes infused with lsd for that price.

  33. Evan from Evansville

    Reel Big Fish was a big influence on my bro. He was a drummer in several high school and college bands, starting out with ska. They had practice in our house, cuz, that’s where the drummer lives! Obviously influenced me in becoming one, as well.

    Fun band. Though it’s been a long while. I’m sure I still know the lyrics to a few of their songs I grew up with.

    • Nephilium

      They still tour quite frequently. Quite often with Less Than Jake.

  34. Shpip

    Oh, no!

    CHICAGO — Angel Reese was suspended by the Chicago Sky for the first half of the team’s game against Las Vegas on Sunday for comments she made that were “detrimental to the team.”

    Without Reece for a half, the Sky will lose by eighteen! Of course, if she played the whole game, they’d lose by twenty-six.

    Angel Reese is what you get when you combine the braggadocio of Cassius Clay with the athletic talent of Steve Urkel.

    But of course, the Balmer Bricklayer would rather be the It Girl of the ratchet set than be known as a good hoops player, even judging by the Special Olympics standards of basketball that is the WNBA.

    • Ted S.

      What were those comments?

      • Shpip

        She did an interview with the local rag that was basically “Spend money you don’t have to bring in players that are as good as I think I am.”

        Needless to say, her teammates were not amused.

  35. Nephilium

    The YouTube pre-game show is the worst pre-game show I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t even leave it on as background noise.

    • (((Jarflax

      Is Cam Newton dressed as a slave trader?

      • (((Jarflax

        Ok, I know I know, war mongering is forbidden here, but can we at least send in a seal team to take out the guy playing the bass for the national anthem?

  36. Tonio

    Where are all the moozbilg ppl?