Genre – Western
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hours 55 Minutes
Spoilers – Yes
Bought from a thrift store for $0.25 (one of four on a $1 DVD box set), this black and white western produced by Howard Hughes of Spruce Goose and Hotel Hermit fame is completely unknown to me. None of the cast members in the opening credits ring a bell, but apparently Hughes personally directed the film.
We start with a stagecoach arriving in Lincoln New Mexico, with a particular focus on the sign stating that the sheriff is Pat Garrett. The first line of dialog announces that Doc Holiday was on that stagecoach. I hate when historical fiction uses real people as characters. Even when inspired by their exploits, it just feels icky to put them in. Sheriff Pat goes to meet Doc, and apparently they’re friends. Doc is looking for his horse, which has apparently been stolen. He bums some cash off Sheriff Pat and offers to let him join in hunting the horse thief. Apparently being sheriff was news to Doc.
Doc confronts the current possessor of the horse, who we find out is Billy the Kid. Ol’ Will claims to have bought the horse and doesn’t want to let Doc reclaim it. Ol’ Will rides off with the horse. Sheriff Pat and Doc ambush Ol’ Will at the stables and arrest him. Ol’ Will goads Doc over them tag-teaming him, and Doc returns his revolvers. Sheriff Pat orders them both out of town by sundown. Doc and Ol’Will socialize for a bit. Ol’Will then catches Doc trying to steal the horse back. After Doc leaves, someone takes a potshot at Ol’Will and misses. Under cover of day for night, Ol’Will sneaks around to ambush the shooter. They wrestle in the dark and it turns out to be a woman who has not been introduced. Miss MacDonald was apparently there to avenge the death of her brother. The rest of the fight scene is in complete shadow.
The next day, Doc and Ol’Will continue to socialize, but some random shows up claiming to have a grudge on Sheriff Pat. He wants to rope Ol’Will into the plan, but it’s a ruse to try to get the drop on Will. Rando is gunned down. Doc advises Ol’Will to get out of town as proving self defense will be difficult. Ol’Will decides to stick around. The posse rolls into the saloon before the scene goes on much longer. After a standoff, Doc and Ol’Will try to walk out of the saloon rather than let Sheriff Pat take Will into custody. Sheriff Pat shoots Ol’Will in the gut, Doc shoots the rifle from Sheriff Pat’s grip then shoots two of the posse. In their flight from the town, Ol’Will falls out of the saddle.
The Posse musters reinforcements as Doc brings Ol’Will to the cabin of Miss MacDonald. She is not best pleased at this development. Doc gives a bunch of instructions on his way out. Unfortunately, Miss MacDonald follows them instead of ridding us of Ol’Will. A posse member stops in but Miss MacDonald gets rid of him. She then cooks her rooster for the crime of being annoying. I do not understand the character of Miss MacDonald. I’m trying to theorize whether I’m supposed to think she’s doing this out of loyalty to Doc greater to loyalty to her slain kin. Or if she’s falling for Ol’Will, despite no indicator and him being quite comatose.
I’m rooting for Sheriff Pat.
The movie spends too much time with the rehabilitation of Ol’Will and no updates on what’s happening outside. I really want to know why Miss MacDonald stopped trying to kill Will with no on-screen explanation.
We catch up to the Posse and Doc, having crossed the county line and left Sheriff Pat’s jurisdiction. Doc starts shooting the Posse. Really, I don’t see any reason to like any of the main characters. While my mind is on it the soundtrack is downright aggressive, as if there must never be a moment free from intrusive noise, whether that noise is appropriate or not. The woodwind section is particularly insistent on being noticed. Amidst this overbearing orchestral score, we di find that Miss MacDonald is apparently falling for Ol’Will.
Between the music and the characters, I’m getting annoyed at this movie. I’ve almost reached the halfway mark. Doc returns to Miss MacDonald’s house. The actress for Miss MacDonald is very adept at the sneer, as she is not much pleased at Doc’s arrival while in a compromising position with Ol’Will. Miss MacDonald claims to be married to Will “But please don’t tell him.” I’m still unclear how. Maybe Miss MacDonald doesn’t believe in extramarital and summoned a priest off-screen. But under no circumstance would a marriage be valid when one person is insensate.
Doc and Ol’Will quibble over horses and Miss MacDonald and who has claim on either. Ol’Will offers to let Doc have one or the other. Given the recent infidelity of Miss MacDonald, Doc chooses the horse, causing Ol’Will to protest. Miss MacDonald is most displeased that she was the less preferrable choice.
As Ol’Will bums some cash off Doc, it’s clear Howard needed two people he didn’t have on this film – a good script doctor, and an agressive editor. His ego almost certainly wouldn’t let him realize that he’s made a meandering yarn with a plodding pace that feels like it is utterly directionless. The dialog doesn’t flow naturally, and characters are inconsistent within the same scene. It runs for two hours, and half way through I still have no clue where it’s going. At first I had granted some grace for “differences in filmmaking styles” between when it was made and now. But no, it’s just not well made.
Doc and Ol’Will leave together for [Other Town]. I did some research because the movie was so boring. [Other Town] is apparently significant in the history between the real Sheriff Pat and Ol’Will. Real Doc was not involved in that however. So I can’t even crib off of history for plot points.
In movie, Doc and Ol’Will find that their canteens are filled with sand, having been filled with such by Miss MacDonald. Ol’Will abandons Doc in the middle of the night, and Sheriff Pat finds Doc after dawn, arresting him and putting him in cuffs. Ol’Will returns to Miss MacDonald’s place and confronts her. She’s next found tied up in a situation that would eventually prove fatal if she had not been cut down by Sheriff Pat. Sheriff Pat decides that Ol’Will will probably return to cut her down and decides to set up an ambush. When Ol’Will gets caught in the trap, he is annoyed that the woman he left strung up by the wrists didn’t tip him off.
At a watering hole, Doc tries and fails to get Sheriff Pat’s gun, then Miss MacDonald tries and fails to drown Ol’Will. On the way back to Lincoln, we get interrupted by smoke signals. With the small cast, I wasn’t expecting Indians, but I probably should have. With limited options, Sheriff Pat makes the mistake of unchaining the criminals. At least he doesn’t arm them. The group rides for [Other Town] since it’s away from the Indians. Unfortunately, another band was in front and has burned a cabin at the spot where the bands are converging.
The four ride away from the Indians and for some reason lasso logs to drag out a dust trail. This somehow causes enough confusion to trip up the lead Indians, who then mill around in confusion. Once they reach a homestead to hole up for the night, Sheriff Pat sends a note on ahead to [Other Town]’s law. Due to the exigencies around the possible Indian attack, the outlaws are rearmed and not inclined to return their weapons. Doc states his intent to leave, but Ol’Will declines to let him take the horse. He and Doc square off ready to shoot each other. Ol’Will doesn’t draw, so Doc stops mid-draw and they argue until Doc shoots Ol’Will across the back of the hand and notches both ears. Ol’Will still doesn’t draw. They spill sentimental drivel as the score gets overblown.
Sheriff Pat rants at them about Doc’s treatment of him since Ol’Will’s arrival. Doc and Sheriff Pat draw on each other, but Doc doesn’t fire. Sheriff Pat shoots him. Doc dies and gets a shallow grave.
This is a serious departure from history. Doc outlived Ol’Will by six years and died from disease. Especially when Sheriff Pat figures they can use the shallow grave to fake Ol’Will’s death. The plan involves having to show off Ol’Will’s guns. Sheriff Pat gives an impassioned speech about starting over, and eventually convinces Ol’Will to agree to the plan. It was intended as a ruse as Sheriff Pat had taken the firing pins out of Doc’s guns, but they got all mixed up, and Ol’Will ended up with a live one. Chaining Sheriff Pat to a pillar, Ol’Will rides off with Miss MacDonald, but leaves his guns behind so the faked death plan can go ahead anyway.
Don’t bother looking for this movie. It’s too long, too meandering, too pointless, and none of the characters are likable.
This is supposed to be the Post Turkey Day Special. I left that in the title for a reason – why was it chenged?
They have their reasons at Headquarters. Ours is not to question why.
But it’s still after Turkey Day.
The royal They
Not the modern they
Like this?
I’ve never seen the movie. My dad had a bunch of coffee table books about “classic” movies. She was…featured prominently.
That’s not even her best sneer in the movie.
That was every kid’s pre- Farah Faucett image. I was a little on the young side but I’m guessing my oldest brother was figuring out how to get a copy to share or not to share with his buddies.
I can see that being the case.
I have nothing to say against the woman herself – the movie, however, was a stinker. Howard really needed somebody who could tell him “No”.
That’s either the best or worst look one could get after an “I was in the pool!” moment. I’m not sure why, but that sneer’s pulling me to the former. Would be sneered. (Ah, yes. Jane. That’d be why.)
I think I have seen this one.
Speaking of westerns that I would recommend, Old Henry starring Tim Blake Nelson.
A modern movie without ‘the message’.
The protagonist is a historical figure (no spoilers), but you don’t find out which one, until the end. Maybe you’ll even be surprised at the reveal.
Personally, I put it in the same category as Outlaw Jose Wales, Pale Rider, or 3:10 to Yuma.
Most of the 70s westerns are overrated.
Glenn Ford and Van Heflin in 3:10 to Yuma, however, are excellent.
You can just go straight to most of 70’s movies were overrated.
Most notably . . . . Star Wars . . . .
let the flame war begin
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Walter Matthau made a lot of good movies in the 1970s, and The Bad News Bears is not near the top of that list.
+1 2 3
I’m surprised you hadn’t heard of Jane Russell.
Thomas Mitchell won an Oscar for the original “Stagecoach”, and Walter Huston won for “Treasure of the Sierra Madre”.
Do I strike you as somebody versed in movie history or celebrity culture?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I58I8LK8jY8
What exactly are you trying to say?
No exageration, over the years I have seen literally thousands of women in advertisements. Remembering one decades after the fact – if I even say that ad – is unlikely.
Even I am familiar with her assets.
Oooh! First thoughts a graf in: Good old ‘find.’ Howard Hughes, damn. Many things about that man, and I’d say all of them are hyper-interesting.
Possible controversial thought round here? The Aviator is a very underrated flick. It has been a while for me, but I thought it was really well done. Especially since I’m looking back over a decade, I worryingly remember di Caprio doing a good (enough) job.
I don’t think I saw that one.
As usual enjoyed your rant.
Agree regarding historical characters, especially when used ahistorically.
At most they should be incidental characters, better yet if they remain off-stage except for mentions.
‘Shoots O’Will in the gut’
I believe peritonitis was 100% fatal in the days of the Old West.
“The woodwind section is particularly insistent on being noticed”
The instruments needed a shot in the gut.
“characters are inconsistent within the same scene”
Early version of NPCs
“With the small cast, I wasn’t expecting Indians”
Perhaps the Spanish inquisition?
“notches both ears”
Ol’Will is special. Even the President doesn’t get notched in both ears.
With shooting like that Doc Holliday should have gotten job offers from any number of Wild West shows of the time.
“This is a serious departure from history”
And nothing else was? You’re funnin’ me.
Again, enjoyed your rant.
People did survive abdominal injuries, chest wounds, etc. While not probable, it does happen. You don’t want to rely on it too much, but the time he spends bedridden is longer than most characters get.
Well. If it felt like a useless couple of hours, it at least made for a fun and funny read.
re historical accuracy: Damn. That’s especially dumb, perhaps especially back then, closer to the Doc. Uh. Unless my pet clown fed me to my alligators herd after I had weaned them onto pickles, I don’t want folk lying about my manner of death. As for Hughes lying about that, wow. Not a damn person was getting paid to even contemplate having any idea other than what his minor majesty commanded.
Doc Holliday died of Tuberculosis in Colorado.
Then you should watch Young Man With a Horn. It’s based loosely on the life of Bix Beiderbecke. So loosely, in fact, that the Beiderbecke analogue (played by Kirk Douglas) survives at the end of the movie.
From the ded thred. For the broader tariff impact, just look at the charts the Trump admin is boasting of tariff revenue increases. All of those dollars came out of the pockets of consumers in this country. The decrease in imports due to deminimis rule changes is the unseen part.
“If the President says it, it’s not a lie”
Hard to tell the difference between Dick and Don. No virgins of any of the others in between either.
The elimination of de minimus was the torpedo that sunk my international buying ship. I used to order from Europe several times a year, and saved thousands that way. There were many items I’ve purchased where I saved several hundred dollars buying from Europe. That train is gone, and not only are those same items not cheaper in US stores, but they’re more than they were before tariffs and the elimination of de minimus. With having to buy those items in the some items are upwards of 30% more now than they used to be. Maybe more.
The problem with how tariffs have been implemented is that he’s slicing and dicing with a sledgehammer. The elimination of de minimus was meant to combat billions of dollars in Temu orders coming in daily. But it also covers small market items that can’t be made here. There should be many more exemptions, or, better yet, significantly narrowing down what gets tariffed.
My wife got a bill from FedEx on a single item order she made off of Etsy from England.
It is almost as much as the item was.
I’ve never gotten a bill like that before and may not pay it. FedEx can try to collect the 28 bucks or whatever it’s.