Judge Part 8 – One-Eyed Man

by | Jan 11, 2026 | Fiction, Literature | 131 comments

My hunch about a route that bypassed the North Gate was proven correct. It was the result of a string of sturdy local bushes that held back erosion and disguised a relatively easy trail up from a back garden to just before the wall started. I’m sure before long there would be a drive to extend the walls around the entire rim of the plateau. After all, they were useless if an enemy or criminal could just walk around the end. That meant a new tax. I was already unhappy with the prospect, and it hadn’t even been proposed yet.

Ardo looked back up the trail in consternation as we emerged on the road.

“How did you know that was there?”

“An educated guess. Since Shelia wasn’t getting stuck at the North gate, there had to be a way around it. And it had to be easy enough to take in the dark on the regular.”

“Can’t even see it.”

“Of course not. If it were easy to spot, it’d have been destroyed by now,” I said.

“Well, we’re going to destroy it now. Makes the North Gate completely useless.”

“I have more inquiries to make,” I said, heading downhill. The neighborhood between the North Gate and the Unfortunate Intersection was a step up from the docks in respectable society. Most of the residents still worked along the docks, but they made enough to separate themselves by an iota. It was less of a slum, but I still would rather not live there. They were still timbered and plastered, but almost universally shingled, with thatching being a vanishing rarity.

Shelia Long was an inveterate liar, but I had to check her story. Or at least those parts I didn’t know to be fabricated. If there was a rented room above a cobbler’s shop, the cobbler might be able to give me some idea of who came and went from it. How many cobblers were in Jinwick? Not many – three or four. One dealt exclusively with the high end of the local market in the Citadel. One or two operated on Upton Street. And then there was the one on the Unfortunate Intersection. It was one of the stone-built shops flanking the road. A boot-shaped sign above the door made it clear what he sold. Like most places on this overly warm rock, the door was open during the daytime to let the breeze through.

The aroma of leather permeated the air within. Along one wall was a rack of cheap boots. Those that didn’t fit anybody, but were already made and cost less than having them custom fit. If you were lucky, a pair would be close enough. The other side was where he worked, tools and materials laid out in fastidious order. The man himself was seated on a stool. Thin and wearing a close-fitting waistcoat, he had eyeglasses and a receding hairline.

“May I help you?” he asked.

Given the state of my face and the general disheveled state of my attire, I probably looked like I’d come off the boats.

“I am Acting Magistrate Jasper Browne. I am currently investigating the murder of the previous Magistrate Thornton Wilcox.”

“I heard about that dreadful business, but I’m afraid when it happened I was at my house and not in my shop. I didn’t see it.”

“I understand that, Mister…”

“Cooper,” he said.

Cooper the cobbler? I decided not to poke fun at his name not matching his profession. Even if I found it mildly amusing.

“Mister Cooper. Do you by chance rent out the rooms above your shop?”

“Oh, you think they might have seen something?”

“I won’t know until I ask. Who is your tenant?”

“A man named Giles. Sailor, I think, looking to leave ships behind.”

“Have you seen him of late?”

“Oh, no, he keeps to himself mostly. At least, doesn’t give me any hassles.”

“Where are the stairs?”

“You’ll have to head back outside. They’re along the north wall.”

“Thank you, Mister Cooper,” I said, returning the way I had come. The stairs in question were timber on stilts, only periodically anchored to the stone wall they ran along. The gap wasn’t big enough to risk a foot slipping through, but it made the creak of weather-warped boards that little bit more ominous. The door was open to the breeze, and I let myself in. There were not a great many rooms to cast my gaze over, just the one by the stairs and the one by the street. The furnishings were quite sparse. Whoever slept here used a hammock. There was no provision for cooking, though with how warm the space was already, I couldn’t imagine a fire making it any more comfortable. Wooden crates around a simple table provided the seating. The most impressive feature was the view.

With the air of elevation at the start of the hill, the windows on the upper floor peered out over the rooves of most of the other buildings nearby. It gave an uninterrupted view of the harbor mouth between the lighthouses and many of the warehouses, even into the Azanjin district. You could watch the comings and goings of vessels almost as well as the lookouts on the Citadel towers.

My eyes drifted back to the warehouses as my mind went to something Nanjala had said. They’d planned to meet at a storehouse near the docks and near where Wilcox had ended up. Standing here, I had a perfect view of just such a place. Pieces began to tumble into place. Wilcox was here that night because this was his staging ground. Shelia and the One-eyed man would have had an almost uninterrupted view of the entire walk from here to the meeting with T’bora and Nanjala, had there been sufficient light to see by. They all thought Wilcox had the Star of Azanjin.

The pressure of the tip of a knife being pressed against my back interrupted my musings.

“Giles, I presume?” I said.

“And you’re a pestilence,” a rough voice said behind me.

“Since you didn’t push that blade in when you had the drop on me, I assume you’re willing to talk.”

“I’m not a murderer. I’m not goin’ to stab a man in the back. And I didn’t stab Wilcox.”

“But you did hit me with a shingle.”

“Woman running fer ‘er life from a man who ain’t raisin’ no hue and cry? Looked like you were plannin’ to do somethin’ awful to ‘er.”

“Where were you even hiding up here?”

“I weren’t hidin’. You just didn’t even look at the corner where I was sittin’.”

I mentally ran through my entrance to the space and realized he was right. I hadn’t even spared a glance at the north wall of the second room. I had been distracted by the view out the windows.

“Say I believe you. Say I don’t think you stabbed Wilcox. What now? How long do you plan to hold me at knifepoint?”

“Depends on you. You’ve been rootin’ around like a hog diggin’ acorns. I gotta know what you dug up.”

“I know that Wilcox planned to double cross you the way he double crossed everybody. You’re just an honest thief looking for a big score. You stole the Star of Azanjin back in Atlor, but you couldn’t sell it to the highest bidder because the highest bidder is the Gold King. And you need connections with the Azanjin to sell to him.”

“Weren’t you the one they said was guilty of stealin’ that?”

“You and I both know I had nothing to do with the theft. Magdelene, or Shelia, or whatever her real name is became a witness because otherwise people might look too closely at what she was doing in the area. Lookout, I’m guessing.”

“Yer givin’ me more reason not to want to keep you around.”

“But the theft went off without a hitch. You got the jewel out of Atlor and down here. Even had someone else get convicted of it. The question remains when you made Wilcox’s acquaintance.”

“You really think you can ask questions?”

“No. But I doubt you met Wilcox after arriving at Jinwick. It’d be madness to approach the only law on the island and ask him to help you sell stolen goods. I think Wilcox sought you out. Before the theft.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Pray tell, how does an Atlorian end up with a crown jewel of the Azanjin?”

“Yer asking questions again.”

“The Azanjin are not going to sell it. So it must have been acquired another way. Wilcox was part of a band of mercenaries that fought in the Southern Islands. Local valuables have a nasty tendency to fall into the hands of mercenaries passing by – either as loot or payment. But if it’s part of the company’s spoils, Wilcox would have had to split the sale price with the rest of the soldiers. That’s where you came in. The moment you lifted the jewel, instead of splitting it a few hundred ways, it could be split only two or three. Or only one.”

“I didn’t kill Wilcox!” Giles spat.

“I know. Otherwise you would have put that knife between my ribs by now. You don’t want to kill me anymore than you wanted to kill him. You’re just looking for a way out where you don’t end up in a noose. I am the Magistrate. I am the one man on this island who can keep you out of the gallows and has a reason to do so.”

About The Author

UnCivilServant

UnCivilServant

A premature curmudgeon and IT drone at a government agency with a well known dislike of many things popular among the Commentariat. Also fails at shilling Books

131 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    “I weren’t hidin’. You just didn’t even look at the corner where I was sittin’.”

    Rookie mistake.

    You’re just an honest thief

    As opposed to a politician, who’s a dishonest thief.

    • R C Dean

      I take that to mean, not the kind who does violence. Usually.

      • UnCivilServant

        🤔

        Honestly, I never thought too deeply into the meaning of the phrase.

  2. R C Dean

    Gotta say, our drunken magistrate is a pretty cool customer.

    • UnCivilServant

      Most of the other characters underestimate him because he doesn’t cut the figure of a classic hero. They see a weak drunkard.

      • rhywun

        They see a weak drunkard.

        I resemble that comment *hic*.

  3. Aloysious

    Nice twist, at the end. Jasper just keeps getting more interesting.

      • Aloysious

        I’m sticking with Ardo, right or wrong.

  4. R C Dean

    Interesting factoid from Twix:

    Russia’s full scale war against Ukraine, which Moscow started on 24th February of 2022, lasts now exactly as long as the German-Soviet war in WW2, exactly 1,418 days.

    • Threedoor

      That’s wild.
      Artillery production alone hasent even ramped up much. An actual full scale war between major powers would just be stupid at this point, it’s drones from here on out and grinding movements that look like WWI again.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wonder how on the edge they really are. If crowds of thousands marching across the country is the standard the US government has been on the precipice many times which, of course, they haven’t.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, the Iranians are burning police stations, executing security services officers, and forcing regime retreat from entire cities.

        So I’d say the situation is up in the air.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        burning police stations, executing security services officers, and forcing regime retreat

        MOSTLY PEACEFUL

    • rhywun

      Depends how benevolent the dictator is.

      Might be better than the mess we have here LOL.

      • Tres Cool

        Not doubt Khaddafi was a contemptible POS, but he held those fuckers down. Once Hillary et al killed him, that whole region is more of a mess.

      • rhywun

        I have been reading stuff about how Iran peeps are rejecting Islam(ism). Gotta say, my ignorant ass is a bit surprised at that. I am a history ignoramus for sure.

        Of course Iran/Persia was one of Islam’s many conquests over the centuries but I had no idea there was any current pushback. Nor do I have any idea how accurate any of what I’m seeing is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        Interesting times.

      • Threedoor

        Same with Sadam Tres.

    • Chafed

      FWIW, Pahlavi has publicly called for elections shortly after the mullahs fall. I suppose that could mean a constitutional monarchy.

  5. rhywun

    The conjoined blob standing on the mountain and with golf clubs growing out its back is a nice touch.

  6. rhywun

    CHAFED ON JANUARY 11, 2026 AT 04:06 PM [+]
    Congratulations Buffalo! Have another drink Rhywun.

    👍

    I slept through the ending. 🙄

    I am left with hate-watching four more teams today.

    • Tres Cool

      I’m pretty sure if Philly won, they would have been partying in the street and tearing shit up.
      Probably the same since they lost.

      • rhywun

        Yeah I don’t remember any of that behavior in Buffalo and I lived there through the almost-glory years.

      • slumbrew

        they would have been partying in the street and tearing eating shit up.

        FIFY

      • slumbrew

        Philly fans are special, rhywun.

    • Chafed

      You do you.

      • rhywun

        Like most televised media, it’s background noise.

        Sometimes I use it to lull me to sleep.

  7. DEG

    Warhammer Collection

    Wherever you think this might be going, it’s better 😂

    I can’t breathe 😂

  8. creech

    Derpy, Evan, KK, anyone? Should be an opening for offensive coordinator in Philly tomorrow. As long as you don’t believe in “prevent offense” you should be an acceptable candidate.

    • Ted S.

      They can have Rich Bisaccia or Adam Stenavich.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Well, I had the sense to pass out when I got home, though I did catch the end of the Bills.

      *knuckle-rubs eyes* What am I being nominated for? And why? Lucrative?

    • Derpetologist

      Well, I do know how to be offensive. On the other hand, Philadelphia.

      I’ll pass on it.

      • Aloysious

        You don’t want to be a fentanyl zombie?

  9. Chafed

    I expected the Patriots to dominate the Chargers. I can only assume slumbrew isn’t rooting hard enough.

    • rhywun

      I don’t have a huge dog in this fight except I hate everything Boston so there is that I guess.

      • Tres Cool

        Even chowder?

      • rhywun

        Seafood other than some fishes is disgusting so yes.

      • Chafed

        Have you been to Boston? You are not likely to find better seafood.

      • rhywun

        Have you been to Boston?

        Yes, I have.

        I don’t like most seafood. It has nothing to do with my opinion of Boston – or more specifically, Boston sports teams.

    • slumbrew

      The spread is only the Pats by 3.5; Chargers pass defense is one of the best in the league.

      Not shocked by this.

      • rhywun

        *sees the writing on the wall; flips to X-Files*

      • Threedoor

        X-Files always beats sports.

    • rhywun

      Someone mentioned that a while back.

      A curiosity, no more.

      Maybe of interest to boomers.

      • Tres Cool

        Tres Sr. would come home with scrap paper from the office for us kids to color on.
        One of the scraps was…..punch cards

    • kinnath

      Is the tape readable after 50 years?

      I had plenty of bad experiences with tape backups in the 80s.

      • rhywun

        27 kB of code

        LOL

        So like a day’s work.

        They’re treating it like a lost Doctor Who episode FFS.

        (I keed

      • kinnath

        Thank you.

        I didn’t have the energy to go search for the answer. I figured someone already new it.

      • kinnath

        We used to store multiple copies of real-time aircraft simulations on a 1MB platter (It was huge).

      • kinnath

        Actually, they were 5 MB single-platter disks. Eventually, we moved up to 20 BM multi-platter disks.

  10. rhywun

    LOL the media’s earnest attempts to get me interested in the most recent Hollywood freak circle-jerk are cute.

    I have never hated that crowd more or had any less interest in their exploits.

    • Chafed

      What are you talking about? Asking for a friend.

      • Gender Traitor

        The Golden Globes, I assume. (Not Sydney Sweeney’s.)

      • rhywun

        Go to whatever your local MSM outlet is.

        Yes, golden globes.

        Sample headline: “Golden Globes 2026: Timothée Chalamet thanks ‘partner’ Kylie Jenner after winning for ‘Marty Supreme’: ‘I love you’”

        *puke*

      • Chafed

        Holy shit. I’m 2 minutes in and want to smash my TV.

    • Bobbo

      Kurt Cobain school for the stupid?
      /it is alternative

      • Tres Cool

        The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good has already been taken it seems.

    • rhywun

      Juvenile McDelinquentface.

      My town has one of those downtown; I know the score.

    • rhywun

      Mamdani defended his decision to appoint the radical leftist as his top tenant advocate after the incendiary comments surfaced, but insisted he didn’t share her viewpoints on private property.

      “Obviously, that’s not an opinion that I share,” Hizzoner told Pix 11.

      LOL bullshit. You’re a radical communist as exhibited by many years of your social media comments.

      It’s almost too easy to make fun of that lightweight.

    • kinnath

      Philip Solomon, a 51-year-old who’s owned a Green Ave. brownstone in Bed-Stuy for 17 years, called Weaver’s comments “illogical.”

      “I don’t want to believe that that’s what she intended to say,” Solomon said.

      “I grew up watching [‘The Cosby Show’], and looking at a brown family on national network television,” he recalled. “It gave me the idea that one day you can have a home in New York City.

      “In a way, this is kind of like a dream realized,” he continued.

      Just another victim suffering from cognitive dissonance.

      • rhywun

        Meanwhile 90+% of his neighbors – if not he himself – are going to continue voting for communists.

        I don’t know how that changes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • Gender Traitor

        I don’t know how that changes.

        They finally vote in so many Communists that the elected officials abolish elections?

      • rhywun

        lol I guess that is one way that voting ends.

    • Bobbo

      Guess what kulak?
      You’re white now,
      Haha

    • Grummun

      Weaver’s unspoken casual racism: home ownership is white supremacy because blacks are all too poor to own homes.

      • rhywun

        Also, they might start getting fancy ideas if they own a home.

    • rhywun

      O.M.G. it goes on… and on….

      Yeah… I am not surprised at this. Recent network television loves this sort of flamboyant excess.

      I love Drew Carey gamely playing along.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Wowza. My friend of friends in high school/ early college, Dusty Bottoms (Legit birth name) was on Ru Paul’s Drag Race and was as flaming as I’ve been around. Cool enough, did take up meth and lost like 120lbs, and IIRC kept it off.

      He MAY have been able to keep up with that gayness, but it’s a high hurdle.

    • Gender Traitor

      “How to Succeed in the Entertainment Business in the 21st Century Without Being a Good Actor”

  11. Evan from Evansville

    Got maybe hours of sleep in the late afternoon, further oddifying my sleep cycles on shuffle.

    I don’t know enough, but never liked Collinsworth, though he seemed fairly good at his job. I simply hated his voice. Disdainfully. He seems to have worked on that, to whatever extent. Or his gugglin’ gravel habit’s been worked on. Or something. *quizzical squint*

    Feelin’ good about my return to sleep and a should-be cakey end to the week. *quizzical squint intensifies in mirror*

    • Tres Cool

      Collinsworth as a player sounded straight-up hillbilly. NFL sent him to voice lessons once he started to do on-air commentary.

      • rhywun

        I think I’d rather hear hillbilly. He annoys me.

        I’m surprised I kind of like Brady now. I hated him as a player lol.

      • Grumbletarian

        Collinsworth is down near the bottom all time for color commentary. I don’t know how he’s managed to stay on for so long. Tony Romo remains the gold standard right now. Brady is somewhere in the middle.

  12. Mojeaux

    That feeling when you password protect your shit and you forgot what your password was.

    • rhywun

      lol I just bricked a Pixel phone over that.

      -$125 trade in I was hoping for

      • Mojeaux

        wElL dO yOu HaVe An IdEa?

        No, I don’t have a fucking idea. I make my passwords strong with a DIY hash for a REASON and also why I use a password vault. I guess maybe I just wanted to make sure *I* couldn’t get back into it, too.

      • rhywun

        And now I don’t have to type a lot of passwords. Good until someone cuts off my right index finger or cuts off my face.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, I am not doing biometrics. Not ever.

      • rhywun

        wElL dO yOu HaVe An IdEa?

        I lost my phone over a freaking four-digit PIN that completely left my brain.

        A PIN I had entered numerous times over a couple years but after getting a new phone and having to come with a new PIN I completely lost the old one.

        So naturally, I have put the new PIN into the password file I keep in my Documents folder. Security FTW. 🙄

        /I have bitched in the past about how completely and utterly useless this whole theater is

      • rhywun

        I love biometrics. It’s the wave of the future COMPLY.

        lol

      • Mojeaux

        COMPLY

        Ya had to go there, huh?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Good until someone cuts off my right index finger or cuts off my face.

        Demolition Man is the future.

    • Evan from Evansville

      The logical progression goes to DNA fingerpricker touchscreens. I’ve been on about that for years. It’s coming. And people will be so eager and *proud* to use it. It will be rather convenient, I gotta say. And then inescapable, mandated, and so on.

      We’re already self-uploading everything to various clouds. Why wouldn’t it continue? *quivering w inevitability*

      • rhywun

        I’m not going to be around long enough to give a shit.
        /my cynical take

        I don’t know what the real answer is. The current options all suck so bad.

    • Threedoor

      I tried to log onto my states online taxpayer site to report the business sales taxes tonight and their site said my account had expired.

      Wut? At least I had the password written down. I’m an annual filer and they erased me. Screw your Idaho you don’t get the money?

    • Ted S.

      Was it “Podesta” by any chance? 😉

  13. SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

    Things seem to be coming nicely together. I’m wondering when the next body will show up.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Hey, I’m here! *frantic waving* But I’m not dead yet!

    • Ted S.

      What’s cracking Glibs?

      I’ll wait for the people who took organic chemistry to answer that one….

    • Rat on a train

      knuckles?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, EfE, Ted’S., and Roat!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        I wanted to go back to sleep, but it’s an office day, so I’m in the office. At least it’s a pay week. Unfortunately I’ve got the start of a cough and I’m miffed. I can’t afford to get sick right now.

      • Gender Traitor

        Uh oh! I hope the cough is a false alarm! 😬🤞

      • Sean

        *waves*

    • Evan from Evansville

      That was awesome. Who won?

      (The audience. And the team in black.)

    • Ownbestenemy

      Im thinking it was staged cause when I was a yoot…and we had these types of things, there was a ref and coaches on the ice.

      • Sean

        Local news guy said it was sus, but it’s still amusing.

  14. Evan from Evansville

    Ooh, celebs wore Good pins at the Golden Globe!

    Outdoor duty to start soon after this Break #1. Steak n Shake breakfast looming. Their hash browns are good.

    T-Minus 7hrs 40min til weekend. Be well all
    *Mischievous hand wringing, obs evidence of supreme Jewelry, awaits signal*

    • Grumbletarian

      Ooh, celebs wore Good pins at the Golden Globe!

      Of course they did. Much brave. So heroism.

  15. Grumbletarian

    I’m very surprised that the Patriots defense managed to hold a decent team to just 3 points. Maye was predictably shaky in his first postseason start, but the turnovers didn’t rattle him. Impressive poise. They get either Pittsburgh or Houston in Foxboro next week. Either team is another coin-flip game to me, as I still think new England is not as good as their record, but last night’s game certainly raised their profile some in my eyes. And if Christian Gonzalez misses next week, the Patriots are in serious trouble.

    • slumbrew

      Losing Gonzalez would be a huge blow.

      Maye’s turnovers weren’t egregious lapses of judgement or anything but it was good to see him promptly shake them off.

  16. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Heh, clicked on a Jan 6 information redirect from Youtube out of curiosity (to Wikipedia):

    “On January 6, 2021, the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C., was attacked by a mob[34][35] of supporters of President Donald Trump in an attempted self-coup,[36] two months after his defeat in the 2020 presidential election. They sought to keep him in power by preventing a joint session of Congress from counting the Electoral College votes to formalize the victory of then president-elect Joe Biden. The attack was unsuccessful in preventing the certification of the election results. According to the bipartisan House select committee that investigated the incident, the attack was the culmination of a plan by Trump to overturn the election.[37][38] Within 36 hours, five people died: one was shot by the Capitol Police, another died of a drug overdose, and three died of natural causes, including a police officer who died of a stroke a day after being assaulted by rioters and collapsing at the Capitol.[d][29][39] Many people were injured, including 174 police officers.[9] Four officers who responded to the attack died by suicide within seven months.[30] Damage caused by attackers exceeded $2.7 million.”

    When it comes to anything remotely political Wikipedia is completely worthless.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Why didnt they list the other ~22k that died in the following days? If natural causes of someone near the place can be attributed, why not the whole country?

  17. UnCivilServant

    It still vexes me that despite all the times we’ve seen evidence that humans are very good at moving very big rocks long distances with very simple tools, academians and documentarists are still breathlessly astounded when they find evidence that humans moved very big rocks long distances. Not what they built with it, just the fact that they moved them. It’s practically diagnostic of humans being in an area to have big rocks moved far from their quarries.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s not that they did it, it’s how they did it.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s not what they say or imply.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They don’t need to. The first thought for someone smart enough to figure it out will be” I wonder how they did that.”

      • Ted S.

        Slave labor.

        Unless you’re the recently deceased Erich von Däniken.

      • UnCivilServant

        We know a myriad of methods, almost all of which used free labor.

        It’s not a mystery to be solved.

  18. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    /taking one more Covid day just to be sure

  19. Tres Cool

    @Ev- Steak and Shake hashbrowns are likely good because they’ve announced they’re now frying things in beef tallow.
    The way G-d intended.

    • Common Tater

      I wonder if the change is pissing off Hindus.

  20. Common Tater

    GM 🙂

    • UnCivilServant

      TCP over Carrier Pigeon was written as a joke.

    • Common Tater

      I need more covefe. I typed that 20 minutes ago and forget to hit submit.

  21. UnCivilServant

    🤔 There are 200,000 year old anatomically modern human remains found on Crete. Crete has geologically been an island since before we split from the Chimps. Ergo, boats are at least 200,000 years old. Any migration theory which discounts boats cannot be the whole story. Problem is the coastline from that time is under water.

    • Common Tater

      If there are enough tiny islands around it, people could have swam.

      • UnCivilServant

        Occam’s razor – what is more probable – migrating populations repeatedly swimming 10-12 miles across open water? Or building boats from stuff that floats and paddling over?