Grugell
A valuable ship lost.
A mission failed.
A plan proven futile.
And an enemy grown stronger.
The Emperor was not happy.
His principal advisor, Kaxatrisk II, along with the Admirals Pokatak IX and Gilgakat XII, were now scattered vapor in the thin Grugell atmosphere, drifting slowly downwind from the Imperium’s disintegration chambers.
Attended now by four of his favored wives, Ignostak XI reclined on a lounge chair in his personal chambers. Before him floated a hologram of Pokatak IX’s replacement as Fleet Commander, Kodatrax II. The Emperor watched, for the fourth time this evening, the replay of the new Fleet Commander’s report:
“Our conclusions are as follows:
“First, the humans have formed an alliance of sorts, not a central authority after the manner of our Empire but an alliance of their settled worlds. Second, they have devised a means of tracking our cloaked ships. Third, we have managed to decode message traffic that indicates they will begin building armed ships themselves, at a location we have not yet been able to discover.
“To that end, Your Majesty, we have increased patrols in their main traffic lanes, but all Commanders have been ordered to not fire upon any human ships unless hostile action is directed against them. We must more carefully analyze their trade routes and attempt to discover the source world of the species. That is, without doubt, where their shipbuilding activities will take place.
“Also, Imperial Shipwrights are working on improving our cloaking devices. We have discovered that the passage of a cloaked ship leaves a disturbance in trace normal matter patterns and in the dark matter matrix. It is possible that the humans have discovered this as well, a hypothesis that is supported by the destruction of our ship orbiting the human world Tarbos. My predecessor was less then prudent in his decision to send only one ship to monitor the human’s activity; in the future, all ships will travel in groups of no less than two.
“Finally, Your Majesty, we propose to step up production of our own armed frigates, and with your permission of course, to begin construction of larger, more heavily armed vessels with improved defenses. It will take several years to assemble the Fleet we will need to decisively engage the human planets, but with patience and planning, our best estimates indicate we will be prepared in the space of twenty years.
“Finally, it would be advisable in the meantime to open communications with the humans. Were we to project the appearance of abandoning aggression in order to seek peaceful relations, our actions may seem less threatening, and the humans may decide to slow or even cease building their armed fleet. To that end we suggest that Your Majesty appoint an envoy to proceed to the human world Tarbos to open discussions with this ‘Confederacy.’
“This concludes the report as of this date, the ninth day of G’risth, Sixteenth Year of Ignostak XI. I remain Your Majesty’s most humble servant.”
The hologram fizzled and went out.
Ignostak sat up and clapped his hands once. His four wives disappeared; a servant slipped quietly in from an anteroom, bowing once, quickly.
“You. You will take a message to Admiral Kodatrax II at the Imperium Headquarters. Tell him, ‘Proceed.’”
“Is there anything else, Your Majesty?”
“No. Why are you still here?”
The aide flinched visibly and bowed his way out of the room.
Ignostak stood up and strode to the huge windows in the curving outer wall of his chamber. Far below him, the central city of the Grugell Empire sprawled out across the yellow sands. Shining silver spires and domes cluttered the landscape, and in the traffic lanes a few vehicles moved, some power vehicles, others drawn by a large herbivorous animal common to the west of the city. In the distance, the endless rolling dunes of the Empire’s home world stretched out to the horizon. Somewhere to the south was the Imperial Retreat, another gleaming silver spire rising from the scrub along the ocean. Tomorrow he would take his wives, servants and other assorted household members and go there; his spirit was raw, his demeanor irritable, and he was in need of time away from the city and the court.
A movement caught the Emperor’s eye. In the medium distance, a small Imperium Security flyer floated idly over the city, its scanners no doubt recording activity below, its crew analyzing for any sign of dissent.
One day, Imperium flyers like that will watch over every world now occupied by the mongrel race, ‘human.’ I vow it to be so.
To see more of Animal’s writing, visit his page at Crimson Dragon Publishing or Amazon.
If humans have (up until this point) only bred with other humans, how are they mongrels?
Homo sapiens bred with Homo neanderthalensis?
Good point.
Hybrid vigor FTW!
Maybe the Grugells bred us as slave labor millenia ago.
If the Grugell find out about furries, they’re gonna move way up on the extermination timeline…
See, there’s the right kind of Humans and the wrong kind of Humans…
Just typing that made me feel dirty.
So could such a retrogressive culture really innovate? Squelching all dissent, yet science (real science) thrives on dissent.
That might be why it’ll take them twenty years to spin up an invasion fleet…
Grugell construction regulations…
Do the Grugell have unions?
They wore a union on their belt, as was the style of the time.
Organized, collaborative work can produce advances.
But there are no radical breakthroughs without some wild ass going off in a weird and “unproductive” direction.
Grugell have exceptionally severe disincentives to risk taking. Though it isn’t said, consider what success must mean to the Emperor – the threat of someone competent enough to knock him off the throne.
Crazy Eddie
“We’re all built up with progress
But sometimes I must confess
We can deal with rockets and dreams
But reality
What does it mean?
Ain’t nothing said
‘Cause F̵r̵Eddie’s dead”
thats what i said
It will take several years to assemble the Fleet we will need to decisively engage the human planets, but with patience and planning, our best estimates indicate we will be prepared in the space of twenty years.
Now, how many Earth days does it take for the Grugell home world to complete an orbit of its primary star?
All Grugell thoughts and words have been rendered in their human (English) equivalent.
The orbit is 150,000,000,000 giraffes in length. Their bendy, fighty necks help curve it out.
You can’t square a circle but you can giraffe it.
I learned something new today.
I used Jupiter’s orbit as reference! Bigger numbers are more fun. I suppose giraffes *could* eat juniper berries, and that’s close enough for glibtasticular accuracy. (Glib + fantastic + spectacular = tasty glib testes. The more you know. *taps noggin*)
Giraffe neck fighting is fucking *rough.* Damn. Such noble savages.
So there’s a gun store close by enough that I was able to run out and buy a new roll pin over my lunch break.
It feels odd to leave the house while working remote – even if I’m on my lunch break.
Anyway, I managed to get it mostly in place, but the last 1/16th inch is not moving any more. I’m not sure if it’s bound up on the junction between the tube and the gas block on the far end.
What’s the safest way to get it the rest of the way?
The answer is always a BFH (Bigger Fucking Hammer).
What tool are you using to start and drive in the roll pin?
If you drive it in with a normal flat punch, the far end of the roll pin might be splayed out against the inside of the gas tube. In which case, I hate to tell you this, but…you might make another stop by that gun store on the way home…
(Aside – that’s a pretty good gun store if they have discreet AR gas tube roll pins on hand.)
The solution to this problem is two-fold – make absolutely certain that the hole in the gas tube is perfectly aligned with the hole in the gas block, and use a roll pin starter to initially drive the pin in. Sometimes it also helps to lightly bevel the far end of the roll pin with a bit of emery cloth.
This may be slightly better advice than mine…
It was pliers, and the view from the open side does not indicate any deformation. It may just be too much friction for the grips on these pliers. I’m thinking I might get the vice set up again.
Roll pin starter.
I need these in my life and have never heard of them.
If you are driving roll pins without a roll pin punch this is what happens
https://www.amazon.com/Mayhew-62254-112-K-Pilot-12-Piece/dp/B0006VAGN4/ref=sr_1_23?crid=1GEJOEKJ6BC7W&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.iKHvPpXkhGlkVv2480x8f1h0SexcvH_gneyNA92OWf0N73Lx-RjR5uXuYU2YvfHHSTfCoWPsfje437Ag5XIxbfHD16Gvfl6XgTd4MK_L6AMVz1R0I1ZbmeAe8wRqbeFea-SuW6cmRZ1fyshUmozs5WGAivCUkAevfBGfGd44ZRnOda39nnDmHwcUzQjyzWDRIMmqtofwW0HC6J4FuElGL4-4rSRymMQpQ_9M8cTeWHf0gtEM2yzpeqc0PBc_s19VvqS2p5ZJiuQ36PhuH3VBQQFuMljoKWgFDjGSVIJ_cTo.Xopb3_achoZevErtOddGXq6-i6QgxVvhvQX8H35q34c&dib_tag=se&keywords=roll%2Bpin%2Bpunch%2Bset&qid=1774891662&sprefix=roll%2Bpin%2B%2Caps%2C257&sr=8-23&th=1
This. Pliers are really not the right tool for the job.
better price
https://www.harryepstein.com/products/12-pc-roll-pin-punch-set
The roll pins get upset.
You don’t want to make them angry.
Harry J. Epstein? What an unfortunate name for a business. I would change it if I were him. Like maybe Epstein’s Island of Tools?
I just ordered a Grip brand set from Amazon for $12.
As much as I’ll use them over the course of my life they’ll never wear out.
I hate to be Chris Rock but can I just get just one roll pin punch for $5?
HJE is an outstanding quirky hardware store. Jeffrey needs to change his name. He’s the no talent asshat.
Ackshually,
I really like having the one tool I need at the location where it’s needed. Yes I have a set of wrenches, but I also have a crapton of 9/16″ with each piece of equipment that needs one. I hardly ever get out the full set.
This is a thing. My reloading press has dedicated hex keys, wrenches, and a special pair of angled-tip tweezers (perfect for removing jammed primers without having to disassemble the entire press) all stored within easy reach.
The vice appears to be dealing with the issue. No, the pin was not bound on the edge of the hole, it was properly aligned, just higher friction than the pliers could deal with.
And I used pliers because that was what other internet isntructions said to so.
I know you didn’t mean to, but holy shit, that comment just activated my eye twitch…
Gavin Newsom’s wife talking about doing a “Rednecks in the Mist” tour of red states.
https://x.com/i/status/2038404077340532984
So insulting. She should just look in the mirror.
She’s just preaching to the choir. I have a teammate who listens to NPR, and he calls the Midwest “dumbfuckistan”. Except the enlightened city folk, of course.
He’s on reddit isn’t he?
I regularly get FB posts, etc., from my friends who commiserate with me being an academic in a red state.
Possibly the most annoying thing about proggies is their provincialism.
My apologies to any progressives who need to Google ‘provincialism’.
NYC is the capital of provincialstan.
Urban peasants are a thing. They were called “cockneys” in London, but AFAIK NYCers who thought themselves cosmopolitan because they had visited Manhattan AND Queens don’t have any special name.
NA – those in the surroundings who actually don’t live in Manhattan are known as the “bridge and tunnel crowd”.
New Yorker map here.
She’s going to visit the colonies?
Her nannies will be taking xer spawn to the colonies to observe. She will not pollute her lungs with the air from ‘Bama (or Wyoming, or Nebraska, or or or) actually entering them.
Most of the Left: The more we insult and belittle these people, the more they’re unwilling to vote for us. I just don’t get it.
I would make a shit politician but even I know to never insult the people who you need to win.
I lived in California for about 5 years, around San Jose in the late eighties/early 90’s. My observations:
1) Southerners, especially Texans and Alabamans, live rent-free in their heads. People couldn’t help belittling and making jokes. Never seen such a thing. It’s not like people in the South spend time thinking about them.
2) Californians were absolutely addicted to kicking the can down the road. Endless bonds to pay for this and that, crazy high income taxes, and no way to ever balance a budget. I saw it in the late 80’s, cannot imagine how bad it is now.
3) The only time I ever heard someone speak actual racist talk and hatred was in Northern California. It was from a group of (known) democrats talking. I just don’t hear it in the South. Maybe we just all get along better. I don’t know.
Why would you vote against bond measures for safety or children? It was rare that they didn’t push one of those in their sales pitch.
I vote against anything pitched as “for the children”. The little twerps need to toughen up.
RC speaks the truth.
Also: https://www.bls.gov/oes/2023/may/oes119032.htm
Even the government statistics show the bloat of education administrators.
Same with customers.
Are those Newsome’s kids, or Weinsteins. Or some other simps?
Newsom’s wife said she brought her children to the red states so they could learn about racism, sexism, and bullying first hand.
Good gravy what a steaming pile of insipid twaddle.
I’m thinking I might get the vice set up again.
Do you have a C clamp you could use as an installation tool?
Yes. If it is stuck, a C clamp with a BB taped to it might push it in all the way.
Meanwhile…
Eric Swalwell’s campaign for governor had a very good weekend — by both normal political standards and Trump-era ones.
On Sunday, he scooped up the endorsement of the powerful California Teachers Association, the last major labor prize the gubernatorial candidates had been jockeying for. Organized labor — like Democrats as a whole — has struggled to rally behind a single candidate. But with the support of CTA, along with SEIU’s state council, the United Food and Commercial Workers and the statewide firefighters union, Swalwell has locked down some of the biggest heavyweights.
——-
Swalwell wouldn’t go so far to say the report is a boon to his campaign (though plenty of pundits did it for him). But in a race where the top Democratic contenders have struggled to break out, an ongoing skirmish with Patel and Trump is one way he can distinguish himself from Tom Steyer and Katie Porter.
“It validates and reinforces that we are the biggest threat to Trump in the field, the only name he knows, the only person he attacks,” he said.
What does he plan to actually do as governor? Who cares, when Mad King Donald is on the loose?
So many people are undecided, he can’t really say he is in the lead. He pulled ahead of the two republicans, so this way there would be a democrat and republican in the race. He is a useless stooge. It would go from bad to worse if he gets elected. Like Biden following Obama.
What does he plan to actually do as governor?
Bring back Fang Fang. She is his Yoko Ono.
As long as she outlives him like Yoko did, it won’t be all bad.
yoko was the best beatle
Fight Me!
Fairly sure she died in a plane crash years ago.
Sad trivia – John Lennon and Dimebag Darrell Abbott were both murdered on the same day, December 8th. Dime was by far the bigger loss.
Roll pin starter.
I need these in my life and have never heard of them.
I don’t know about those but a drill bit can be a handy alignment tool.
Until it snaps…
I would 100% break a drill bit off in a hardened roll pin if I were to even as much as look at the two in the same glance.
All right, I gotta admit, this euphemism went right over my head.
I would 100% break a drill bit off in a hardened roll pin
Use it to align the parts and be sure the holes line up before you start the pin.
I’ve had to run to town to buy carbide bits after such endeavors.
Never again.
This can work, but a pin gauge of the correct size works better.
What, doesn’t everybody have a pin gauge set? Next you’ll tell me that you don’t have three different soldering irons? (Did I already tell that story?)
tapered alignment pin is your friend
https://www.ebay.com/itm/177973764933?_skw=alignment+pins&itmmeta=01KN0049WQ9PFV6CHABZ7NF58S&hash=item2970102345:g:tQQAAeSwPUlo1Pe2&itmprp=enc%3AAQALAAAA8GfYFPkwiKCW4ZNSs2u11xAe1WooCCYM4FM9c9AwM8Rm9CxId0ZTvlwEql6ZkYRN3BUpzjD2bTJ%2F8euTESt27dCnjk2lkBnHoW4ekx7kEuQepXUOahMsUmmcfuYyvLiz2z5q9paSgDAgftUsu5OuorrSoF7lO6UktbcyF2N5WPEyZHod2qKBqge3CuBrh93I8wnfKNklnpCGmBzxRrxhgAvcSrU%2B9Woa70goremU%2BNRnksLa8CEpN3fNs3Zcu94jvp0vKO4S6QnIqk5qQ%2BIQv8wM0TZpMvCic5Jo33er3eJ9Kaia6P3fbXuIgSzNiXFx2Q%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR4afkYCoZw
I have a couple pin guage sets in my machinist tool box but I never thought of using them for alignment tools, just measuring existing holes
I have two soldering irons. So I am getting close.
incredible things are happening in the world of swedish rally
https://x.com/uncledoomer/status/2038656291271258483
Look at that body roll.
Beautiful.
incredible things are happening in the world of swedish rally
I’d rather have a Renault R5 turbo.
Safety first
President Donald Trump may think Tiger Woods is “an amazing person,” but after the golf legend rolled his Land Rover and was charged with DUI on March 27, the president has an unbendable rule for his grandchildren: no getting in a car with Woods as the driver.
The athlete, 50, has been dating the 79-year-old’s former daughter-in-law Vanessa Trump for about a year, and regularly spends time with the five children she shares with her ex-husband, Donald Trump Jr. While the former Apprentice host is fine with Woods being around his grandkids, when it comes to driving, “It’s a hard no,” a source told Rob Shuter in the latest issue of his Naughty But Nice Substack newsletter. “He doesn’t want Tiger behind the wheel with his grandkids. Not happening.”
What about golf carts?