WHY did I agree to do this?

 

I will NOT engage in games of chance to determine who…moderates… one of these features, ever again! I should have suspected the lots were rigged by all the sly grins around the conference room table. But, be that as it may, I am stuck hosting this. ZARDOZ is taking advantage of the extra PTO he “negotiated” when “THE MASK” flopped as a replacement. Thus, we present the SMITHS. So lets get on with …. the Links.

First up, our Senior Maritime Correspondent, SEA SMITH. SEA, what do you have for us tonight?

SEA SMITH THINK HE HAVE WUHAN VIRUS!

SEA SMITH BIT OFF GAME. HE PAY VISIT CRUISE SHIP. BY PAY VISIT, MEAN RAPE. SHIP. CREW. PASSENGERS. LIFEBOATS. TURN OUT SHIP NOT GOOD. BUT HE GIVE LINKS FOR FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMANS ANYWAY.

  • SEA SMITH NO WORRIED HE MISS THEM.
  • MAYBE HE NEED SEA SMITH PAY VISIT?

SEA SMITH NOW GO FIND HOSPITAL SHIP. HE GET HELP, THEN THANK SHIP. AND CREW. IYKWSSMAITYD.

COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!

Um…get well soon, SEA. *someone call the Coast Guard and send out a warning!* That brings us to our Cascadia Bureau and STEVE SMITH reporting. STEVE?

IT GOING BE GREAT DAY!

STEVE SMITH HAVE NICE DAY. NEW CLASS FOREST RANGERS GET “ORIENTATION TOUR”. STEVE SMITH SHOW THEM WOODLAND HOSPITALITY. BY HOSPITALITY, MEAN RAPE. THEM HAVE GOOD SNACKS TOO. SO STEVE SMITH HAPPY AND HAVE TIME TO COME GIVE LINKS!

  • STEVE SMITH GLAD HIM NO FLY IN UK.
  • STEVE SMITH SAY “YOU FIRST!” IF HER SAY “SHOVEL MY SIDEWALK” THEN STEVE SMITH THINK IT NIKKI…

FREE CASCADIA!

Thank you, STEVE. Yet another reason to avoid certain government jobs. So, we had tried to reach out through our … contact, to SPACE SMITH. However, he appears to be busy rogering Betelgeuse to death.

In the spirit of Sunday Evening posts, there is no OT or such, comment as you see fit (as if you don’t already).

Thank you and good night.