HE GOOD PET.

SEA SMITH JUST FINISH TAKE PET FISH ON SWIM AROUND BLOCK. NOW HE HAVE TIME MAKE FUN. HE MAKE LINKS. GIVE ADVICE. EVERYONE HAPPY! IF NO HAPPY, SEA SMITH PERSUADE TO SMILE. BY PERSUADE, MEAN RAPE.

HERE FUN LINKS!

  1. WHICH FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMAN THIS? SEA SMITH LAUGH.
  2. MAYBE IT PIRATES. MAYBE IT SEA SMITH… SEA SMITH NO TELL!
  3. IT SHIP FAULT! STUPID SEXY ENGINE ASK FOR IT. SEA SMITH DONE WITH IT, IT NO START.

HA HA! NOW ADVICE. FROM SEA SMITH. IT GOOD ADVICE!

Q: I’ve been married for almost 17 years to the only man I’d been with (I was 21, and he was 19). I work in a predominantly male industry, so I have what I call “work husbands.” I have found one in particular who is 1,500 miles away and have worked with for close to four years. All of our interaction has been through email or work calls. Over the last several months, we’ve taken our work relationship to a personal level, so much so that we call or text each other on our personal cells after work to just vent about the day. We work in the same industry, so we have the same frustrations and even share the same customers. He has become one of my closest confidants. We have shared personal thoughts, pictures, etc. Is it possible to have a work spouse many miles away who you can develop feelings for? How do you suggest handling those feelings? He is not married, but I still very much am. Quitting my job is not an option, and to be honest, I don’t want to stop talking to him. He understands me and my workload better than my husband ever could. What do I do?

A: IT CLEAR, YOU NO WANT LAND HOOMAN HUSBAND. HIM BORE YOU. SEA SMITH OFFER MORE FUN THAN “WORK HUSBAND”. COME DOWN TO SEA SHORE, SEA SMITH SHOW GOOD TIME. BY SHOW GOOD TIME…

SEA SMITH HERE FOR YOU.

THEN YOU GO BACK WORK. MAYBE YOU SEND NOODZ TO WORK HUSBAND, YOU NAUGHTY SLATE READER.

Q: Do I have to tell them? My father was the definition of a deadbeat dad. He was abusive and absent, and he rejected his three children (of which I’m the youngest) in every way possible. As a result, my siblings have had a tough life of drug abuse, crappy relationships, poverty, etc. I dodged the bullet by embracing a conservative religion and ended up being financially healthy, physically healthy, and mentally fine. For whatever reason, my siblings have put my father on a pedestal. A year ago I discovered Deadbeat Dad is actually dead (and has been for a couple decades). I haven’t yet told my siblings. The thing is, I can’t stand the reaction they’ll have—they’re going to cry and go on and on. It makes me sick and Deadbeat Dad is so unworthy. And yes, I get that I’m being a stereotypical judgmental conservative religious person. I have two questions: 1) Do I have to tell them? 2) If so, how do I do it in a compassionate, Christian way, when I feel so much hostility about him?

A: SEA SMITH DISAPPOINT. HE KNOW ADVICE HOOMANS MAKE THINGS UP. BUT THIS JUST SILLY. SEA SMITH HAVE ONLY ONE SOLUTION FOR BAD FAKE ADVICE LETTER. WRITER MUST GO DISINTEGRATION CHAMBER.

HAPPY DISINTEGRATING!

MAYBE SEA SMITH TAKE OVER ADVICE AT SLATE?

COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!