TIME FOR DIPLOMACY DONE!
IT TIME OF VIRUS, AND STEVE SMITH HAVE FEVER…FOR FREE CASCADIA! HIM HAVE MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT. BUT IT FRIDAY NIGHT, AND FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE WANT LINKS. SO LINK NOW, TELL AFTER.
HERE LINKS. FROM STEVE SMITH. NOW.
- STEVE SMITH THINK GLIBERTARIAN CHEESE PERSON NOW SAD.
- HOOMANS IN BIG CITY STILL SAME.
- LOOK LIKE UK POLICES STILL SAME.
THEM GOOD LINKS. STEVE SMITH ALWAYS GIVE GOOD LINKS. IT CASCADIA #3 EXPORT.
CASCADIA EXPORTS:
1)COMPUTER THINGS, 2)TIMBERS, 3)LINKS, 4)FUNNY PLANT THAT HOOMANS SMOKE AND EAT, 5)FISHES, 6)CRASHING AIRPLANES, 7)RAIN.
NOW, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
STEVE SMITH THINK CASCADIA NEED STRONG PAW GUIDE IT. HIM WATCH PEOPLE TV IN RV AND CAMPGROUND…HIM KNOW WHAT NEED BE DONE.
…
STEVE SMITH ISSUE FATWA! HIM NOW… GRAND MUFTI, ALL CASCADIA!
CASCADIA AKBAR!
SECOND FATWA, STEVE SMITH GET RIGHT FIRST RAPEFUSAL ALL CAMPER, HIKER!
THIRD FATWA, STEVE SMITH CALL VOLUNTEER, COME HELP CASCADIA FREE!
FOURTH FATWA, BRING TOILET PAPER. STEVE SMITH RUN OUT RABBITS.
FREE CASCADIA AKBAR!
I saw You STEVE, and know what you did, TPTB know as well………
Toilet Paper, Tokes, and Bunnies FTW!
Fuck Off!
/How you doin’
I’m doing fine, Yusef… And you?
Dying, just lie everyone….
Cheers to 1 day closer!
One day older and deeper in debt.
St. Peter don’t you call me cause I can’t go,
I owe my soul to the company store.
I love that song.
STEVE SMITH WEAR TABLE CLOTH
Easy there Tulpa, your in Deep,
Libertesian is just an infrequent commenter, definitely not a Tulpa.
Fair, now Fuck off M……
/ 🙂
Yep, I rarely catch a live thread, but I hope to stick around for awhile this evening while I deplete my beer fridge.
Cool! Sorry I missed ya!
/tosses Libertesian a pint
/sets down Gretzky Red Cask whisky just in time to catch pint from Neph
/sets down Gretzky Red Cask whisky just in time to catch pint from Neph
squirrel tickled my taint
He’s even had dinner with OMWC!
I ain’t afraid of no RAPESQUATCH wearing a TABLECLOTH!
In these troubled times, you should be afraid of every humanoid closer to you than 6 feet.
The world has changed.
There is no longer any room for rapesquatches in the “new normal”.
?
STEVE SMITH HAPPY TO STRETCH NEW NORMAL TO OLD DIAMETER.
Just finishing episode 5 of Tiger King. I seriously can’t explain how crazy this is. It’s like an amazing explosion of train-wrecks all happening at once.
To stay on topic, one of the people tried to run on the Libertarian ticket for governor of Oklahoma.
Is that on Netflix or what? I typically do not watch TV and will just go sit with my wife watching her Globo soap operas when I want to see incredibly beautiful women on screen.
It’s on Netflix. It’s amazingly insane.
Thanks! Since wifey and I are getting bored, we might check it out.
I already hate the Carole Cunte in that show.
She’s terrible, and it only gets worse. I can’t really blame Joe Exotic for wanting to get rid of her.
Any person from PETA gets my hate from the get go.
Jesus. Are they bashing this guy for being gay, or did I just imagine that? So woke, many brave.
So far, I’ve found two people through it all that I can sympathize with. The girl assistant who lost her arm, and the person recording the footage for the “reality TV show”.
I’m sure by the time I finish I’ll hate them too.
I will second Neph. If you have Netflix you should watch it. I had read about Joe Exotic and some of his adventures, but it definitely deserved a series.
Like this,
Casey and I decided to reverse the Golf course and make 18 holes, we set up the Tees, and yardages, and it’s pretty insane, here’s the 11th hole,and what can Happen,
https://photos.app.goo.gl/kaahZsYE54Va3Yo88
We be Nuts, cause hard is good……
Nice pictures!
The water is really clear, is that the Colorado?
The brown truck dropped a case of 5.56 Nato at my door today. Otherwise, the first week of WFH was dreary as shit.
This was week two for me. And the company at a minimum is going for at least another two weeks.
So I had a week of staycation when our vacation got cancelled. The weather sucked most of last week. Then I had the first week of WFH, and again the weather has sucked most of the week. So, two weeks at home already.
I was supposed to be off Monday through Wednesday last week, with all the events getting cancelled and work ramping up last week due to locations closing, I cancelled the PTO.
Hey, Neph. I got some Zoom questions for you later if you’re still around. OK?
Shoot. Or reach out at my handle at Google’s mail.
/2 growlers in.
NICE!
*works on catching up*
One was Pseudo-Sue (they were out of Mad Elf), the other was Yuengling ($5 for 64 oz.!).
?
I had an interesting conversation with my neighbor when took a break from mowing his lawn today. He said things were still quiet in the neighborhood, and not to worry. He works from home all day and has plenty of guns. His oldest son is carrying, he said. Then he asked if I needed anything, as in a gun. I said, I’m good. Got plenty of ammo too.
Nice people yes?
Quite. I’m not very social, and we don’t talk much, but we get along. It’s a pretty nice neighborhood, and my family is kind of the poor (not really) working schlubs that took advantage of the housing crash to move on up. He keeps an eye on things and helps keep the HOA off my back. Since he’s so out going, he knows most everyone in the subdivision.
That’s a good neighbor.
I know my neighbor to the right is tooled up.
The one on the left I don’t like, but is likely armed.
Across the street is a cop. Across the the street to the right is the family that hunts together.
I’m guessing our little development is at least 50% ready.
I’m guessing our little development is at least 50% ready.
Ammo, or TP? ?
Yes. ??
I’m guessing I’m one of the minority on my block that doesn’t have a gun. But I can make alcohol and food.
Not liking it, either. Got a new web cam and didn’t realize it was wide angle. Caught a half dozen empty whiskey bottles in the corner of my shot.
There’s a reason the first thing I do is turn video off on all conference calls.
That there is what is called “essential services.”
“THIRD FATWA, STEVE SMITH CALL VOLUNTEER, COME HELP CASCADIA FREE!”
I’m answering the call.
Will there be punch and pie?
….MAYBE.
Sorry Sean.
STEVE SMITH WANT FUNNY BEER GLIBERTARIAN PERSON COME OUT, HELP. HOW IF STEVE SMITH GO GET BEER TOO?
Hallelujah!
https://mashable.com/article/free-pornhub-premium-coronavirus-social-distancing/
A ray of sunshine in this dark, dreary world!
Let the recovery commence!
Finally, something to celebrate.
The second full week of shelter in place. Since I consider myself essential I have been out and about all over the city doing jobs. Luckily got a good sized job doing the door hardware for the new Wuhan wing at the hospital. That will help with this month’s bottom line a lot. I never thought I would miss traffic so much (not that I miss the actual traffic, but empty city streets are spooky). Let’s hope this does not last more than another couple weeks.
It won’t. Human nature takes over quickly.
Traffic levels increase daily past day 1.
Wolf just put York county into SIP. STEVE SMITH NEED TO RIP OFF BALD HEAD AND RAPE.
Given that there is no Constitutional basis for asshole’s proclamations, I have no intention of honoring it.
Wolf can stick his dick in an electrical outlet.
STEVE SMITH WANT HELP FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE…BUT HIM BUSY RIGHT NOW.
Traffic doesn’t seem to be that much lower in my neck of the woods.
Some decline here, with the slack more than taken up by the fucking asshole punk drag racers revving up all. day. every. day.
Cool!
Here is a very very noticeable decline in traffic. At nite it is eerily quiet. Even in the day, there are still people driving, but I’d say 70 percent less traffic. I was back and forth on the Bay Bridge yesterday and literally did not touch my brakes once either way on the span, or either approach. That is unheard of in the day. Not even after 9/11 did it look like this.
Luckily got a good sized job
I got a decent job today as well. . .
Nice, Glibs need to keep keeping on.
KSuellington, your gig wouldn’t happen to be at ZSFG, is it? If so we should talk offline.
Nay, UC. We should definitely get together after this fucking thing calms down.
A lot emptier downtown around here too. Like to the point of starting to be concerned for personal safety. The bums aren’t at nearly the intersections they used to be and I don’t see people rolling their windows down either. State commie bottle returns are still open but individual stores don’t have to take bottles back. Seems like something is going to break at some time for the bums.
MikeS, was reading the morning links this evening. Sorry about the job situation.
To the links:
Switzerland has begun tapping its strategic stockpile of pharmaceuticals to cover rising demand caused by the coronavirus epidemic, the government said on Friday amid a “vigorous” rise in the country’s death toll and number of infections.
I guess it would be the wrong time to ask about the strategic reserve of GP11 ammunition and whether or not the Swiss government plans to sell more on the surplus market?
A witness who filmed the incident told the policeman: ‘People are dying and this is what you care about, this is ridiculous, this is horrendous’ and the officer replies: ‘The law doesn’t stop unfortunately. It’s still a criminal offence. The law is the law and it doesn’t change because of what is happening. There would be anarchy in the world’.
Sigh.
Their watches, tho. And that cheese.
???? ?? ????
The Swiss have about the same confirmed case rate as the Italians, and 1/40th the number of deaths. The disease is running more like what is happening in Germany.
So what you’re saying is, is I should ask about the possibility of the Swiss selling GP11 on the surplus market?
#cathynewmanquestions
CHEESE PEOPLE GOOD AT MEDICINE?
Thanks DEG. I appreciate that. “Glass half full” is the attitude moving forward.
Sorry about the job Mike. As a message of hope, just remember that whoever said one person can’t change the world has never ate an undercooked bat ?.
“undercooked bat” – hehehe
Ozzy Osbourne hardest hit?
I know I’ve linked it before, I know he has better hard-rocking stuff, but gosh darn it if I don’t love this song. It’s my favorite Ozzy song, period.
Dude…
Easily my most guilty pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzyz2egx_0c
Both Sean and MikeS picked excellent Ozzy songs.
Someone here linked to this mashup, which I like.
DEG; I feel like someone just slipped some LSD into my drink. Crazy!
https://i.imgflip.com/3u4tjn.jpg
ALOL
Not Ozzy Sabbath, but this song seem appropriate
Falling of the Edge of the World
My favorite Ozzy Sabbath song.
My favorite Ozzy Sabbath cover.
MikeS: I didn’t watch it, but was that the version they released on the tribute? Where they didn’t know the words?
/avoids that there were at least three different versions of War Pigs
That reminds me that there is a bunch of Sabbath I need to download
My favorite Ozzy Sabbath cover.
That’s not a bad cover.
Neph: It’s the album version.
That’s a frame-able quote, to be sure.
You’re welcome!
There has been a run on rabbits too?
Duck season.
Rabbit season.
Duck season.
Duck season.
Its baseball season!
Well, it was.
⚾ + ? = ?
I may as well..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPtSxZchA34
The Wahoos were out yesterday!
This is what I meant…..kinda reminds me of Congress
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-k5J4RxQdE
RAPESQUATCH SEASON!
Little Tim Pool was just describing how my wife died, fucking Asshole….
/now I cry, again, Fucker…
Friday Funbags supports your local propane and propane accessories salesman.
http://archive.li/VeTeE
Waaaagh!
Summer dresses. Yum.
12 & 28
One of those girls has a message for MikeS on her page.
OMG. I’m in love.
?????
She seems to have freakishly huge areola like my baby-mama.
Which I typically don’t like. But I do like her chutzpah!
Hey, STEVE, can I shelter in place with you?
STEVE SHELTER THINGS IN YOUR PLACE! AND BY PLACE, MEAN ASS.
Not what I was told by my FB friends. *Sobs*
COME CASCADIA, HELP BE FREE! ROOM AND BOARD INCLUDED.
He made Par,
https://photos.app.goo.gl/8gpd1y1VYNrxXTkQA
Paging SEA SMITH
RIVER SMITH, EAT FRISBEE DISC!!!!
That looks like a diskette.
If it hit you, your broken arm would differ,
THREATS OF VIOLENCE!
SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!
Fore! or I’l hit you too,
*ducks*
Ha! Missed me, sucker!
What could possibly go wrong?
Holland America Line said Friday that four passengers have died on its Zaandam cruise ship, but didn’t say whether COVID-19,
and
The company said 53 guests and 85 crew have reported to the Zaandam’s medical center with influenza-like illness symptoms
So they’re more upfront and honest than China ?
RIVER SMITH CAN”T HANG WITH SEA SMITH CAUSE RIVER RUNS OUT OF WATER! RIVER SMITH SAD…….
as forces across country flex their new coronavirus lockdown powers
It’s not like they haven’t solved all the actual crime.
prepare…
Mercy and Comfort: A History of Hospital Ships
When I was a little boy I used to make “hospital airplanes” out of legos. They could never have flown, the wings supported several stories of hospital floors. Nevertheless, I guess it was dramatic foreshadowing that I would end up as a physician.
Those hospital ships look really cool
Son number 1 was sent home from work today. It turns out his supervisor has the Kung Flu.
He’s quarantined for the next ten days. 🙁
Sorry.
That sucks. Make sure he has extra socks.
?
May want to put some filters on your router. Or not. You do you.
I explained to my sister multiple times why I gave her and her husband admin accounts on the computer I gave their boys. And why I thought it should be set up in a public area.
They did not have permissions to do things on the system I gave them.
I expect they will have figured out ways to get these permissions in the next two years.
Great news guys!
DEFCAD is live!
That reminds me, I need a VPN. What’s the current take on Tor? Honeypot or what?
Hello friends. I meant my hiatus to last longer, but corona-palooza threw a wrench in my plans. Hope y’all have enough ram’s blood painted over your doors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIajxKkQYR4
Some historical perspective on pandemics from wikipedia:
***
Over 15,000 people died of cholera in Mecca in 1846.[7] In Russia, between 1847 and 1851, more than one million people died in the country’s epidemic.[8]
A two-year outbreak began in England and Wales in 1848, and claimed 52,000 lives.[9] In London, it was the worst outbreak in the city’s history, claiming 14,137 lives, over twice as many as the 1832 outbreak. Cholera hit Ireland in 1849 and killed many of the Irish Famine survivors, already weakened by starvation and fever.[10] In 1849, cholera claimed 5,308 lives in the major port city of Liverpool, England, an embarkation point for immigrants to North America, and 1,834 in Hull, England.[11] In 1849, a second major outbreak occurred in Paris.
Cholera, believed spread from Irish immigrant ship(s) from England to the United States, spread throughout the Mississippi river system, killing over 4,500 in St. Louis[11] and over 3,000 in New Orleans.[11] Thousands died in New York, a major destination for Irish immigrants.[11] The outbreak that struck Nashville in 1849–1850 took the life of former U.S. President James K. Polk. During the California Gold Rush, cholera was transmitted along the California, Mormon and Oregon Trails as 6,000 to 12,000[12] are believed to have died on their way to Utah and Oregon in the cholera years of 1849–1855.[11] It is believed cholera claimed more than 150,000 victims in the United States during the two pandemics between 1832 and 1849,[13][14] and also claimed 200,000 victims in Mexico.[15]
***
Yet in spite of all that, life did not grind to a halt in those places. A little cholera can’t stop a gold rush.
My 2 cents: at risk people should stay home for a month or 2. Everyone else should carry on as normal.
Amen. I’ll just that in carrying on, people can take precautions that are appropriate for them.
I got cholera once. In Santa Marta, Colombia, a dirty port town I was staying in for a few nights after camping out in a National Park nearby for a week. The town flooded after a torrential rainstorm and a couple days later I was proper fucked. I’ve had salmonella, dengue fever and multiple flus and South American stomach bugs, but nothing compared to that. I was starting to hallucinate from the fever after five days or so.
I got giardia twice and malaria once when I lived in Tanzania. It sucked. The giardia medicine has a very strong metallic taste and the malaria medicine turned me into a human soft serve machine.
You ever get a malaria flashback? Luckily I never got that tropical disease.
Malaria gives flashbacks? It can come back if you don’t kill off all the parasites, if that’s what you mean. I had to take this weird stuff called primaquin after I got back to the US to clear out my system just in case.
Derpy’s hypothetical malaria flashback, artist’s depiction:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq9TD9rFjBI
♫ quinine and parasites, high fever!
Heh, heh. Yeah, I guess it is only if you don’t kill the parasite entirely. I know with dengue your body eventually clears the parasite, but you really don’t want to get it a second time as you can get stomach hemorrhages.
So you went to a dirty old town?
I like that version of the song.
Love that tune Neph. The town was dirtier than Shane McGowan’s mouth after a weeks long bender.
Cholera led to graham crackers and a death cause in Oregon Trail video game, so not that bad?
what do you want on your tombstone?
Ah, the Macintosh. The fossil digging game was my favorite.
I was hoping for SEA SMITH links tonight. That would work better with the 2 links I wanted to share. Link the first- clams have big tongues:
skip to 3:21 to see Tung-tung
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5lbItOYy3s
link 2 of 2 – Derpy does not want to do pt, artist’s depiction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L7VJl76i9U
Egg! Egg! Want Egg!
Just watched Joker. Not what I expected. Hell of a performance though.
My wife and I caught that just a few nights ago. Ditto both your comments.
What did you think? I loved it. I watched it twice in one week. The wife liked it but wasn’t blown away by it.
I liked it a lot. Wife, not so much.
Taco Bell needs a new mascot. I suggest the Chalupacabra. He can fight the Hamburgler.
Chalupacabra, drop the Chalupa!
^promote this man!
Since people are still recreating in the great outdoors where it is easy to distance yourself from others,
The Forest Service is closing developed area and trail heads
Thankfully I’m on the opposite side of the state land from the trailhead, which is undeveloped anyway. The state couldn’t close it off without fencing the entire area.
I had the dog out for a walk after dinner and he really enjoys the trails.
Did the same for Mt Hood NF, Columbia Gorge scenic area, and recreational salmon/steelhead fishing. Proles aren’t sacrificing enough for the govgods.
That’s fucked up. What the fuck does fishing have to do with the Wuhan fucking flu? Infuriating.
STAY INDOORS
STAY IN STEVE SMITH CAVE!
THE VIRUS IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
The “Stay home-Stay healthy” slogan is pretty creepy.
There’s Stay Home Save Lives on the highway boondoggle/distraction reader boards.
https://tripcheck.com/RoadCams/cams/LakeCreek_pid1355.JPG?rand=1585360502732
That’s where I first saw it.
It’s even creepier when you get a phone call and it’s repeated at the start of every sentence.
Stay in side and stay alive or else the black helicopters will gun you down
NZ is doing the same thing using the argument that, if you injure yourself and people come to rescue you, that means you will ‘pop their bubble.’
I have heard that argument over here too. Pretty sure the real reason is that they don’t want people having fun while others are stuck at home.
Trump so racist.
https://hotair.com/archives/ed-morrissey/2020/03/27/trump-cruise-lines-want-american-coronavirus-relief-try-american-companies-first/
IMMIGRANT SONG
Name 5 comedies better than MacGruber.
Cheezus Rice. I could name 5 dozen.
It’s not surprising you would think that.
As promised:
Airplane!
Blazing Saddles
Caddyshack
Tin Cup
Ghost Busters
Life of Brian
The Holy Grail
The Meaning of Life
Smokey and the Bandit
The Cannonball Run
The Blues Brothers
Spies Like Us
American Pie
Dazed and Confused
The Big Lebowski
Trading Places
48 hours
Beverly Hills Cop
Coming to America
The Jerk
Spaceballs
Young Frankenstein
High Anxiety
Blues Brothers
National Lampoons Vacation
Animal House
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Wayne’s World
Tommy Boy
Happy Gilmore
Kelly’s Heroes
Super Troopers
Bull Durham
Better Off Dead
Four Weddings and a Funeral
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
The Pink Panther
Stoker Ace
The Longest Yard
Roger Rabbit
Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid
Stripes
There’s Something About Mary
Old School
Office Space
Meet the Parents
Major League
Slap Shot
Groundhog’s Day
Arsenic and Old Lace (Capra)
Good Morning Vietnam
Raising Arizona
Austin Powers
South Park Movie
Team America
Beavis and Butthead Do America
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Ferris Bueller
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
The Zapruder Film
” Tin Cup”
Never forget this moment, GliberTardians.
Kevin Costner is a comedic genius!!!!11!!
Also, Cheech and Don Johnson in great roles, and Rene Russo in her hot-as-hell prime.
Forgot: Executive Decision. When Austin Travis got killed, I laughed my ass off.
Damn Mike, that is an authoritative list and I would agree with almost all. You forgot Some Like it Hot, Joe Dirt and Captain Ron.
Yeah, I’m certain I missed some huge ones. I got to 59 and my brain was exhausted.
…and I purposely didn’t include any sequels. They usually suck, but there are certainly some good ones.
Also: Porky’s, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Porky’s Revenge, and Up The Creek.
Those are all pornos, too.
Top Secret
The Naked Gun
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
The 1st through 5th Democratic debates.
Hacky political comedy in this day and age?
Check out snl cold open over here.
To Sir, with Love.
Airplane!
Some Like it Hot
Hail the Conquering Hero
To Be or Not to Be
One, Two, Three
The Thin Man
Thank you for putting in an effort Ted.
Airplane! is on the list for sure.
Some Like it Hot is hella problematic , but it merits mention. Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon at their second-best!
The scene with Marilyn Monroe and Jack Lemmon having a slumber party in their train berth in Some Like it Hot is about as funny as anything you’ll ever see.
“To Be or Not to Be”
STEVE SMITH WORRY TED HAVE WOOFLU. THAT NOT FUNNY MOVIE!
“Heil Hitler!”
“Heil myself.”
ONE FUNNY LINE NOT MAKE WHOLE BAD MOVIE BETTER!
If you’re suggesting the Mel Brooks version isn’t funny, that’s one thing. But the original is one of Lubitsch’s best.
IT MEL BROOKS ONE NOT FUNNY.
Ted’S
If it helps, I appreciate To Be or Not To Be as well.
Some Like it Hot
I could have added:
Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House
Nothing Sacred
The Mating Season
The Lavender Hill Mob
One Week
No “It Happened One Night”?
I’m Alright, Jack because Peter Sellers steals the show.
Dude, those are pornos.
1) IT A RAPE, RAPE, RAPE WORLD
2) RAPING SADDLES
3) YOUNG RAPENSTEIN
4) RAPERSHOP
5) THE RAPE PANTHER
No love for Frank Rape-ra’s It Happened One Night?
HIM ONLY ASK 5!
On a serious note, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels are personal favorites.
PTA is a great all-around movie, not just a great comedy. One of those perfect movies.
Her first baby come out sideways..,
Glenne Headley died much too young.
“May I take your trident, sir?”
Airplane!, Blues Brothers, Trading Places, Blazing Saddles, Office Space. I could name 20 more at least.
STEVE SMITH FORGOT OFFICE SPACE. THAT MAKE STEVE SMITH LAUGH AT SEATTLE PEOPLES. THEM IN TECH OFFICE!
Damn Steve, did you take that getup from an Arab sheik before his ass raping?
My favs:
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Airplane
Animal House
Blazing Saddles
Spaceballs
Blazing Saddles
Lock, Stock,and Two Smoking Barrels
Army of Darkness
One Crazy Summer
Ghostbusters
– Lock, Stock,and Two Smoking Barrels
No.
– One Crazy Summer
A fun wildcard! Good memories. No, but I like it. I’d boat with Booger and Bobcat anyday.
How is Lock, Stock not funny? Do you have a sense of humor?
And I’ll put One Crazy Summer up against Better Off Dead any day of the week.
“How is Lock, Stock not funny? ”
It is. However, even Snatch and the one with Gerard Butler are funnier, making LSTSB not even one of Guy’s top 2!
“Do you have a sense of humor?”
Yes.
“And I’ll put One Crazy Summer up against Better Off Dead any day of the week.”
I agree. It is far superior.
I disagree with the first assessment. LSTSB has multiple lines that I think work better then the jokes in Snatch. Not that I don’t enjoy Snatch, I do, but I think LSTSB is the better comedy. Which was the question. At no point in LSTSB do you have a family getting burned alive in their car.
” At no point in LSTSB do you have a family getting burned alive in their car.”
We have different thoughts about families.
Also, Sting. Sting makes everything less funny.
Also, no Farina.
No Sting plus Farina equals funnier.
Sorry that’s just math.
If you run a family death for tragedy and a reason for a character change, it’s rarely a comedy.
1. Spies Like Us
2. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
3. The Life of Brian
4. Young Frankenstein
5. Ghostbusters
Ghostbuster was already mentioned during. Replace that with The Death of Stalin
National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze and Dorm Daze II: Semester At Sea.
To get five not already named:
Duck Soup
There’s Something About Mary
Cannibal! The Musical
Oh God
Schindler’s List
(((…)))
Others not named yet:
Stripes
The Jerk
Caddyshack
Happy Gilmore
Groundhog Day
Kingpin.
An Inconvenient Truth
Sicko
Roger and Me
Supersize Me
West Wing (no wait, that’s horror), An American President
I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about it, but this is not the sound I’d think they’d make.
Right? I expected this.
That sound is kind of annoying
today I learned – penguin comes from the Welsh pen gwyn, meaning white head. It referred originally to the great auk.
I prefer the German animal naming flowchart. Question 1: Does it look like a pig? Question 2: Are you sure?
Schweinhund!
Gesundheit.
+1 Meerschweinchen
A whisper to a scream ?
If you believe the blood type/coronavirus theories recently brought up by HM, then I don’t have to worry too much about the virus. I didn’t know my blood type, so I got a test kit from Amazon. Apparently, I’m O+. That means a low risk of getting coronavirus.
I thought it was a low risk of having serious symptoms.
So grrizzly is going to get frivolous symptoms.
The study has found a “lower risk for the infection” for blood group O. That’s how they put it.
Huh.
O neg here. Dunno ’bout the spousal unit, I should ask her.
Which one did you use? Mine supposed is B Pos, but I’m not sure if it’s really correct.
The cheapest one for $7.99. Eldon brand. My results were very clear. I believe my mom has O+ and my dad had B. So no contradiction.
Thx!
I’m A-. But also 80 proof. I dare it.
STEVE SMITH R POSITIVE. BY R, MEAN RAPE.
Why does he look like Yasser Arafat in that pic?
So where my O’s at?
O-Pos here. So are both of my kids.
My wife is B so a mild risk.
F-I-L is A. Nearing 80, life-long smoker with highly impaired lung function, 80 lbs overweight, poor health otherwise, and not taking any precautions. If (most probably when) he gets this it will be a death sentence.
I’m surprised after texting with my sister (pediatric nurse who works at the CLE clinic) that my dad (who moved close to them back in January) has been good at the social distancing stuff. Him and my mom are both high risk (existing conditions, and over 70).
Right here. Type O Negative. Feel free to add a YouTube link.
https://youtu.be/KgkBWZXVLyk
Well done.
Getting drunk for the end of the world:
the quarantini – same as a martini, except you listen to The Walking Dead Theme Music
the typhoid Mary – same as a bloody Mary, except you listen to the 28 Days Later theme
and I feel fine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsxavPANO8s
If only I liked tomato juice.
Rage building
Dear dickheads, couldn’t go for the sensible path and just relax the requirement for the duration of the gov’s emergency order. Nope, your generosity is to fast track applications. And only beer/wine. Assholes.
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Crusty don’t play like homey, and homey don’t play like that.
Forgive me if drugs fall out of my ass, but it appears that we have our first celebrity death from THD.
Is it still Tom Hanks Disease, or do we need to change it to Some Guy Who Was In Crocodile Dundee (But Not Paul Hogan) Disease?
SGWWiCDBNPH doesn’t quit roll of the tip of the tongue
I believe you’re the first to link it. But fuck the Wikipedia page:
Cause of death Complications from COVID-19
Du!
Du hast!
Du hast
Coronavirusno wait sorry nevermind false alarm everyone.It’s fun in any language!
Name a horror movie that actually scares you.
“Just Married”
Am I right, fellas?
The Thing (1982)
#metoo
^this
The Shining
Misery
Just Married
Folks…
In The Mouth of Madness is one of the best translations to HP Lovecraft to a movie.
Oooh, agreed. There are so many attempts that are bad movies or bad adaptations or both, but that captured the feel of his work best, I think. It gets shat on in reviews, which is a shame.
“Lake Mungo” scared the shit out of me. It’s a slow build, very much horror rather than terror.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816556/
The Exorcist
I read the book before seeing the movie (I was/am strange). I took one of my friends (raised Catholic) to see it as a midnight showing when we were teens. He called it the most terrifying movie he had ever seen.
An old neighbor – friend of my mom – once told us she ran screaming out of the theater. This would have been during the original release.
It is a very scary movie, especially for that time.
Exorcist 3 is also great, but for different reasons. George C Scott is something.
The nurse scene with the shears is an all time great make you jump moment.
No doubt. We left the theater after that movie at night during a brutal thunderstorm and we got home to no electricity. I was laughing, wife was not. Brad Dourif was pretty awesome in that as well.
He is always awesome but yes he is excellent in that movie.
Oh, shit, and I’m going to put Texas Chainsaw Massacre out there, too. Watching the movie doesn’t scare me, but the fact that the movie’s premise is feasible scares me for sure. Any time I’ve had to stop at some middle-of-nowhere gas station or something like that I think about that movie.
I would agree.
Event Horizon.
Never. again.
What? It’s great! As long as you understand it’s a horror film, and the earliest representation of the Warhammer 40K world.
?
Well it scared the crap outta me.
Not super familiar with Warhammer 40K, but the hubs plays now and then.
Candyman
The West Wing
Gilmore Girls
Glee
Jesus Festus. I need to sleep tonight.
I really liked Pitch Black when it came out. I was thirteen and X-Files and Unsolved Mysteries was still my thing.
That’s a pretty solid film. Lotsa stupid but they got a lot of the details right. The micro-meteors and such what-not.
Great movie and Claudia Black is in about half of it.
Sinister was pretty brutal, I still can’t get the image of the family hanging out of my head.
Blue Velvet
The Ear.
When I was 6, my parents told me not to stay up and watch Hammer’s Dracula, Prince Of Darkness. I did anyway and it so thoroughly frightened me that I don’t watch horror movies to this day.
Ok, gimme your funny headline ideas. I need some inspiration.
Coronavirus…Is Trump to Blame?
Hmm. I like that. Maybe something like: Trump Refuses to Denounce Coronavirus
Trump Slanders Hispanics by Referring to Covid-19 as Coronavirus
Trump Confesses to Causing Coronavirus After Being Asked By Reporter, “Guywhocausedcoronavirussayswhat?”
Trump Asked About Corona; Denies Ever Meeting Her
Stay on this vein. It has promise.
Eh, I stole it. The one I read was: Trump Asked About Pearl Harbor in Japan; Says He Never Met Her
It could go long, but I do expect it to get pretty thick.
Celery…Savior or Satan?
Grow-er or Show-er? Teenage Quora
I was working on “Deplorable Majority insists that ‘Moral Majority’ was just a collective delusion”, but I havent had time to finish, so it’s yours if you want it.
You are too kind. A scholar and a gentleman.
Moral Majority Re-brands as Chaotic Neutral Plurality
Biden Claims Endorsement of the Molar Purgatory
Massie Becomes National Hero After Causing Massive Outbreak in Congress
Sub headline: Rand fails in attempt on Senate
Did you already do one about Coronavirus becoming the Democratic Frontrunner? I swear I saw that somewhere but I don’t see it over at the Bee.
Well it is less harmful than the rest of them.
I did one about a flaming pile of garbage becoming the Democratic frontrunner. Alas, it had trouble distinguishing itself from Bloomberg.
Cuomo – Hero or Homo?
Coronavirus Now Running for President, Says It Has United Americans
SMOD save us.
“China revises downward the number of COVID-19 deaths from the last report, NYT adjusts kneepads, questions if COVID-19 actually started in China”
China Hires M Night Shyamalan to Convince World That Never Even Was a Virus
Too real.
AOC Demonstrates Proper Method of Pouring a Corona Without Getting Sick
AOC Claims PTSD From Her Service at Coyote Ugly
AOC Says She Can Tell the Difference Between Red and White Wine Just by Taste
Man Chokes to Death on Lime After AOC Recommends it as Treatment for Corona
Update: Trump refuses to take responsibility even though it’s obviously his fault somehow.
AOC Claims Drinking from Far Side of Glass Can Cure Coronavirus and Demonstrates Live; C-SPAN Ratings Spike
Trump Hopes Coronavirus Kills Enough People of Color to Win Election
Liberals Annoyed That Virus Hits Blue States Harder
Fed Introduces Its New Digital Currency
Citing Zero Reported Deaths, World Leaders Slam North Korea for Hoarding Coronavirus Cure
It’s dammed creepy out tonight. This is the first official night of actual lockdown in my county.
The main US highway by my house has no traffic on it.
It’s quieter than 4:00 am. I can hear the interstate trucks from 10 miles away.
Cowering in place. Congratulations, Soccer Moms! You did it!
Trucks going by on the highway close to where you’re sleeping is a) comforting and b) chock full of good memories of roadside motels on family road trips.
Top five favorite Tom Hanks performances
5. Turner and Hooch
4: Private Ryan
3: Joe vs Volcano
2: Dragnet
1: The ‘Burbs
Neither You’ve Got Mail nor Sleepless in Seattle? You’re going soft with your provocations.
One has Dave Chappelle – I mean c’mon.
Give the man a little credit.
Charles Wilson’s War, Saving Private Ryan, Forest Gump, Green Mile, Road to Perdition.
Charlie Wilson’s Whore, Saving Ryan’s Privates, Forest Hump, The Cream Mile, Road to Penetration.
Good Will Humping, Breast Side Story, On Golden Blonde…
Pulp Friction
1.a Corona 2020
5 Joe vs Volcano
4 Toy Story 3
3 Toy Story 2
2 Toy Story 1
1 Bosom Buddies
Castaway, Big, and Forest Gump are all OK.
No love for Bachelor Party?
Best Tom Hanks movie! Donkey snorting coke is peak 80’s.
Whoever plays Tom Hanks is the best because he does it in all his films.
Apollo 13, Charlie Wilson’s War, Green Mile,
Exactly this. I’m soooooo tired of him. Play a villian for once.
He was a villain for agreeing to be in “Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.”
Hey, Neph (or anyone familiar with Zoom), I put members in breakout sessions. As host I can go back in and join each group, but when I leave their group I end up ending the entire meeting. All the functions are in Japanese, so I’m probably clicking the wrong thing.
That’s outside my experience. I’ve never done breakouts. I’m always in support meetings.
Alright. I want to do one those fancy backgrounds. I’ve tried a blue tarp hung behind me, but it only works partially. Only white or green works?
I have a blue screen that attaches to the back of my office chair and it works great for Zoom backgrounds. But it has to all be in plane or it doesn’t keep the picture.
Moonshine soaked pickles are good. I feel like I could take on the whole empire by myself!
Come for me, G’mork!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sEZmMeH96Q
Here come the lawsuits, and this one is close to home.
https://www.dallasnews.com/news/public-health/2020/03/27/collin-county-judge-could-strike-down-mckinney-shelter-in-place-order-monday-after-resident-files-suit/
Godspeed demi-Tulpa!
How long before these WFH conference meetings turn into Anthony Weiner style mass masturbation sessions? Is everyone waiting for me to make the first move?
The jewel video broadcast? Are you doing gaman training?
ganbaru > gaman
Congratulations! Getting people to move from just watching the video to actively participating is half the battle.
Only one way to find out.
Yes?
Fucking stores are closing at nine now.
Try 6:00 in my neighborhood.
I need to go to Best Buy. I thought, “Oh prolly 8:00.” Nope. And it was 5:47 when I looked.
Under performing beer stores are closing. I need to up my game so as not to appear such an alky! My rule is to never frequent the same place more than once per week just to keep up appearances. Good thing gas is so cheap nowadays…
Bigger threat:
vending machines, covid19, Winston;s mom, the Germans, she/hers.
SARS-COV-3 from drop bears.
I am rewatching season 1 of Dexter. Debra Morgan is the most annoying character in any show or film ever made.
Would though.
You like anorexic mouthbreathers?
The opening sequence of Dexter is one of the best ever made.
With Rockford Files being the best.
Deadwood, too.
She’s skinny. I like skinny.
She’s even worse in the books.
Preparing for a long Quarantine.
http://abc6onyourside.com/news/local/columbus-police-searching-for-man-accused-of-stealing-1500-worth-of-condoms-from-cvs
stag beetle climbs up tree, throws off rival males, mates with female, throws her off too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI8WU9ReFG0
It’s the circle of life!
Correction: It’s the circle of Lifetime!
Based.
Dawson’s Bee – the animal whose life cycle is like Zardoz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnJ84f9ExXw
The females stay underground. When they emerge, the males swarm, bite and and sting each other to death, mate, and die.
Australia – Nature’s Hell
Yeah, this has been posted befor, but I needed a laugh and this works every time.
https://youtu.be/0l20Pac9YWM
The problem with having too many baskets of eggs is that sometimes they all want to hatch at the same time and you are running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to tend all of them, not doing very well, and feeling completely unproductive about it.
Nature of the beast when self employed. You do the work when the work is there to be done because next week there may be no work to do. I am not sure which part sucks worse, the crazy weeks, or the “hey I spent 10 hours on Glibs again today” weeks
*Former contract worker nods in commiseration*
Make hay blah blah blah.
Too busy hauling water to dig a well.
Nice turn of phrase, Mojo!
Can’t take credit for it. It was in a Little House book. I think Little House on the Prairie. I think Pa Ingalls said it.
You still get credit for quoting it!
Buy fewer AIGS. Duh.
http://archive.li/kND4f/69bd704dc29c1b015f62aa62930fc805de550b34.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/RJBys/ea0363c7e8ba1349cb224c66cff097ff687c1973.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/p0W7I/5a39df4ec45dc781484e975c84819f5a023d24c6.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/8IUNU/56cc3b63edc17a5e376f4d4e91eeeb7d97c4b87a.jpg
NSFW.
Yes.
She reminded me of this – https://youtu.be/buqtdpuZxvk?t=99
Why was there garlic powder in my cinnamon sugar?
Somebody pass me a lemon drop. It might be time to start drinking, preferably some evil girly drink that doesn’t taste like alcohol but will lay a WWE wrestler out flat with the first sip.
Nah….you just met Bill Cosby
You misspelled “need.”
Lemon drops may not be your best choice for “doesn’t taste like alcohol”
Like I would know which one I should start with. I like lemons and tart/sour things.
Kirsty in Days of Wine and Roses (v. good Jack Lemmon movie) got started on brandy Alexanders. Never had one but involves creme de cacao.
Silly, but Mike’s Hard Lemonade? only 5% ABV, very sweet.
Now I want a Shirley Temple poke cake. Do not ask me to explain how I got from your comment to that.
It is VERY disconcerting knowing stores aren’t open right now. VERY.
Think it goes about 7% up here. That Smirnoff Ice stuff used to lay me low on the regular. I had to cut it from the rotation. Cider too.
Mm, cider. Used to love it, now most are too sweet.
Mo, what would your bishop say? Will he subpoena us?
PS. Got some Bronkaid. Half of one seems good. Whole: I think I see why truckers can be testy.
Tastes like sody-pop!
and thanks to Trump and those 637 or so elected assholes that just sunk us to where our kids and grandkids have to pay for it- It’s Not My Cross To Bear.
537….w/e
The worst thing about this freak-out is the sense of powerlessness. We have no hand. We’re no better off than GB right now because people are frightened and frightened people don’t fight smart.
+1 cross-eyed bear
-200 years
“Whipping Post” is such a great tune that even Zappa covered it. https://youtu.be/Mu32TgPeXM8
Interview with 1950s masked criminal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37YknwAr85Y
for a violent criminal, he’s surprisingly calm and well-spoken.
Cons that make it out of the system are invariably like that. It’s how they were able to get out and stay out. I’ve known a few. Keep calm and time tarries on…
octopus can shapeshift into various fishes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-LTWFnGmeg
That’s remarkable.
Let’s all re-watch Brazil when this is all over. I think it might be on Indieplex right now.
Yes, let’s pick a version, sync up, start a thread, and all watch it at the same time.
I wish Terry Gilliam were able to get out of his own way. We’ll probably never see “Don Quixote”.
Seems to have finally come out 2 years ago.
(posted too soon)
Hear him on Leonard Maltin podcast for more.
Didn’t know. I don’t keep up with it. Thanks, Glibs…
(bat ? country)
a story to inspire us all: 14 year-old lies about age and joins US Navy in WW2; gets Bronze Star and Purple Heart
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvin_Graham
Finally got an honorable discharge in 1978.
That’s why they draft them young. Piss and vinegar and access to things that go boom.
tonight’s language lesson
pheme in Greek means speak
morpheme means speak-shape; the smallest unit of language that has meaning
blaspheme means evil-speak
Polyphemus, the cyclops from the Odyssey, his names means many-speak, as in famous (many speak of him)
Cyclops means wheel/circle face. Triceratops means 3 horn face. Ethiopia means land of burnt face people.
And now you know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSCfTmlosts
“Ethiopia means land of burnt face people.”
Racist
The atlas of true names is great. Half the cities on this planet are named Water Town.
According to the CIA factbook, Cameroon is the only country named after a crustacean.
Just about every tribal name we use for Native Americans is actually a derogatory word for that tribe used by another tribe. And the word most tribes use for themselves, in their native tongue, means “people”.
“Raw fish eaters”!
(Is that true?)
Yep. Apache means demon in the Navajo language.
something something blue corn moon, something something colors of the wind!
Navajo means “head-basher” in Paiute. That was implying that they were not civilized enough to have weapons and could only fight with rocks.
“The” People. Tribal instincts and all. Everyone else was less than.
Fatherland of the Unbribables.
I guess there is a part of Africa that wasn’t always corrupt.
to paraphrase Will Rogers, foreign aid has made liars out of more people than golf
This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I go to British tabloids for.
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/man-arrested-having-sex-chicken-21769181
WTF is wrong with some people?
A lot.
If I actually saw this happen there is a reasonable chance I’d beat him to death. Not a euphemism.
^ yep
I’d vote to acquit.
You’re my kind of people.
I don’t like how they just toss in a few sentences at the end about another geezer with a cow fetish, I don’t want to question the editorial decisions of the Daily Star but it seems like that should get it’s own article.
Well they don’t call it the “Daily Starfish” for nothing.
That was odd. It’s a British tabloid so I don’t expect much.
Once not long out of high school I went dove hunting near Natchitoches in the bean fields. As my friend and I were going in three guys were coming out, two on horseback, one walking. We knew them as we had gone to school with them. My friend asked where they had hunted and I jumped in and said “If that’s a mare I know where they have been. ” It just popped out before I could stop it.
You should have seen their faces. Red doesn’t begin to describe it.
Guys…I was just kidding, just pulling your chain…but…uh….
My brother lived in Hope, Arkansas for a while. His neighbor was a chicken farmer. The guy had lost an arm in Iraq. I took my son to visit and one night we had a pig roast with the one armed neighbor as a guest. My son, being only 9 couldn’t help but ask the guy how he lost his arm. The neighbor gave a thousand yard stare into the fire, took a swig of his beer and said in completely dead-pan voice….”Jealous rooster”
I swear I almost pissed my pants. After a few seconds my son got it and laughed so hard he had tears.
Hope you saved him a leg.
One of our betters in action.
https://dailycaller.com/2020/03/27/democratic-rep-haley-stevens-shouts-on-house-floor/
Will the honorable gentlelady kindly shut up!
Rick Steves’ Yank French-resident friend is named Steve Smith, which always cracks me up.
One of the “wages of sin are death” sign guys has a very special Covid-19 themed one out front now. Never let an opportunity go to waste.
What does it say?
One side was something like
mortality rate
COVID-19 3%
Sin 100%
Other side was
Fear God,
not a virus
That’s not bad. I’ll give credit for rolling with the times.
Looked like he had a print shop do it too. Wasn’t the usual sort of hand lettered signs.
So she won “Student Body President” 3 votes to 2? Good Lord.
I’ll let this guy pick my powerball numbers.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/he-made-it-101-year-old-man-who-was-born-during-spanish-flu-pandemic-survives-coronavirus-infection
She’s an amalgam of Karen and VCSO girl. “Save the subsidies!” And I oop!
Reply to comment#62. Fucking stacking is killing me lately.
VSCO, formerly known as VSCO Cam, is a photography mobile app for iOS and Android devices. The app was created by Joel Flory and Greg Lutze. The VSCO app allows users to capture photos in the app and edit them, using preset filters and editing tools – how many such apps are needed goddamnit?
sksksksksk
Hmmmm. Pretty damn quiet round these parts. Have some smoking-hot redhead https://youtu.be/0D-1APOlU-0 (someone posted it a few days back but I’m mesmerized)
Ugh. I am up an hour early. Damned dogs woke me.
She is a hottie alright. The world is full of them. If anything ever happens to the one I have now (I fully expect her to outlive me) I dont think I will chase another one. I have been down that road too many times.
Collect books, guns and play catch with the grandchildren.
If you don’t spend part of the life insurance money on hookers and blow you lose your Glib card.
Never had any use for the blow and I dont need a case of the cooties.
I could use one of these: https://www.gunsamerica.com/digest/loaded-bear-dan-wesson-bruin-10mm-long-slide-full-review/
Does that count? I have about 2K rounds of 10mm.
I dont need a case of the cooties. – so you are saying not standard hookers but a sugar baby
Maybe. Maybe not.
A friend of mine once told me “They are all nuts. You just have to decide what kind and how much you can put up with.”
I guess if you pay them to go away it is more tolerable.
I know…TIWTANLW
Yeah. Done with that game. You stop playing Tag when you get pimples.
This tune always brings some joy https://youtu.be/_MbMMGMMpA0 It’s sorta like the “Barney Miller” theme.
Due to the incoming crisis my brain keeps telling me I should save money. But the damn wine store is still having an ongoing everything must go sale and all prices are like 70% off
Wine travels best in the stomach. Corner the market, Pie.
70% off?
*consults wife*
So you actually SAVED money.
How much storage do you have? Might be opportunity esp. if you like reds.
storage isn’t not a problem now given in it not that hot. long term storage I have a bunch left
Welp, three and a half hours of video conferencing done. My attention was wondering all over the place. Hard to concentrate for long when you’re not face to face. Overall, I give Zoom an A plus.
the badger escape artist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36UNSoJenI
honey badger don’t care
That’s awesome. People are impressed when a monkey knocks a banana down with a stick. Stoufle could do a panty raid in a women’s prison.
You started my day off with a good laugh. Thank you.
Brings to mind eldest daughter sneaking out the window late at night. What? You didn’t think I’d notice your boot marks on the wall and tiny footy-prints in the snow? l still give her grief about that. Can’t con a con-man.
I was about to give a hard scolding to your daughter and then I remembered….oh yeah, I might have done the same just a time or two.
C’mon guys, regale me with your most libertarian “fuck off slaver” story. Bored and I can’t go out. Plenty of alcohol in the house, but need some good company. Wife and kid are on a Disney binge and I’m not up for that.
i got nothing
I am barely awake, got no sleep and already poured a vodka so here is my best shot:
My father comes down with diabetes. Super smart, intelligent guy so he does all of the research. I go to the doc with him. Turns out you dont need a prescription for insulin, you can buy it over the counter. I ask the doc for insulin.
Oooooooouuuuh. He tugs his chin a lot and says probably not.
“Look. He has spent more time in a lab than you have. I wasn’t really asking. ”
He gave us the insulin.
I know, that is pretty weak but it’s all I have got off of the top of my head.
I am barely awake, got no sleep and already poured a vodka
Answered in the first dozen words.
In my earlier twenties my father, who is a highly functioning pothead, came clean about it and started openly smoking around me, some of his friends would be nervous about toking up in front of me and he’d explain it’s cool, some would occasionally offer me the pipe or joint or whatever and as a non doper I’d decline. My father would joke that I’m not allowed to partake til i’m 35 ( the age he claims he finally realized all the reefer madness BS they taught him in school was BS and started indulging)
Long intro over here’s the even longer story. Tom Lee Park , Memphis – Beale Street Music Festival, circa 2000. 30ish year old The Hyperbole and his friends are sitting in the grass off to the side of one of the main stages watching the early acts and waiting for the headliner, Van Morrison or Kenny Wayne Shepard or Sommat. As is done at these types of events some people near us were lighting up and passing a doobie, being kind, generous type folk they extended the offering to our group. I, still a non-user, declined but my friends accepted. Just as my buddy Milo Sr. was taking a hit I noticed some cops walking up the path and one who must have been part hound dog sniffed the air and made a beeline for our little group. I nudged Milo Sr. and gave him the heads up nod, he quickly hid the joint and I kept an eye on the approaching lawmen. I didn’t really mean to do it but I locked eyes with the hound dog cop and though I hadn’t been smoking I had been drinking all day so I was a bit defiant when he zeroed in on me and asked in that hard ass way they must teach at cop school if I was smoking pot. “Nope” I said “I’m not allowed” he looked a bit puzzled so I explained with a bit of chutzpah “My father wont let me smoke pot ’til I’m 35.” The cops exchanges puzzled looks and then started chuckling, they gave us the ‘enjoy yourselves, but be cool’ speech. As they walked off I could hear Hound Dogs partner laugh-muttering “his father…’til he’s 35…”
Never lock eyes with them. Unless you got donut you can throw to make them play fetch.
i dunno about most libertarian, but I got tired of waiting for the pump jockey here in the land of banned self service a couple weeks ago, and decided to hang up the hose myself. Guy came hurrying back and laid out the you can’t do that speech while I continued. Ended with me saying this is still a free country.
Also, barrel aged genever is meh.
You’re a rebel and a loner! Took over the grill at a greasy spoon when I saw the kid manning it was overwhelmed. I was pretty drunk but some things just come easy. Worked it for half an hour and never did get the breakfast I ordered.
I like you better every time. you post a comment.
That means a lot. Thanks scary white boy! I was a short-order cook for two years and I saw the failure happening.
Prep is King. Don’t show up and strap on the apron expecting everything to be fine. Get your ducks in a row before you turn off the burners.
I had a friend visit from England. The first time we went out via Jeep I stopped and pumped gas. He was terrified and at the same time fascinated that I knew how to pump my own gasoline.
*facepalm*
Retelling this one from last week: I went out in the yard and my neighbor saw me as he was whizzing past on his 4 wheeler, so he came up the driveway and we talked a bit. He was wearing a pistol. I was wearing a pistol. We could hear the guy down and across the street target practicing with his pistol. Down the road about 1/4 mile two other guys were banging away with what sounded like an AR.
After I came in I said to my wife that anyone from almost anywhere else in the world would be horrified by the gun culture here. She answered “And people from Grant parish just call it Monday and dont even blink.”
Closet rifles used to be a big thing up here. Just store it in the closet. Pretty much every Dad had at least a deer rifle and shotgun. Hen’s teeth, now.
You are in Canada, right?
*sigh*
My prized plinking gun used to hang on my wall. Mother even bought special mounts and installed them. You would never see that happen ever up here now. Gas-pipes bad!
My only worry when some neighbors start shooting off is which direction they’re firing towards. Heard a ricochet up in the tree tops a couple weekends ago.
my weird gas story is I was in Ibiza and I rented a gar, went to put gas. FIve minutes of trying I could not get the damn pump to work. Then someone told me I had to pay first and then the pump would give out the amount of gas I payed for. Weird.
SO what is everyone drinking? I just made me a cup of ye guang bai though I shouldn’t because it sounds Chinese and shit. Already had my morning beer with breakfast
i seems vodka and barrel aged genver
Haha! The Vampire is tipsy!
Vodka with cranberry juice.
I will make coffee when the wife gets out of bed.
That is a 20s woman drink, but this early in the morning it counts as a serving of vegetables I suppose
I just drink what the wife drinks. If I lived alone it would be Bulleit rye. I buy for her.
I know…something something cuck. Whatdaya want me to say? Happy wife, happy husband.
I think simp is the proper term not cuck
Pie from the top rope with an obscure term! You speak better American than most of we. Centuries of practice helps, I suppose.
to be hones I prefer the old fashioned pussy whipped 🙂
I do that when I get home from work. Have some beers and then brew up some coffee for the lady.
Happoshu. Being miserly.
Miserly or miserable? I’m comme ci, comme ca right now.
I’m feeling this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SaWD90bHTk
Now I’m feeling this. And I don’t really enjoy drums.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4JH7WbqcAA
This is how they are squashing the cherry blossom viewing parties.
https://i.imgflip.com/3ue1ni.jpg
What the hell is that?
You can still see them.
The big thing is to set up a blue tarp to sit on directly under the tree. Guess the beer tastes better that way. *Shrugs*
I suspected as much.
Spring is full blown here. Hummingbirds have showed up, Bees are everywhere. Fresh leaves and flowers on everything and my paw paw trees are growing like mad. Oh, and the damned gnat season has started.
We dont have cherries like those but the black cherries are blooming.
Hopefully you can get out and enjoy them.
In spite of that I had to go out yesterday. The whole parish is a ghost town. The only person I saw was the clerk at the drive through window. No cars. No people.
It was eerie.
I parked downtown last night and my truck was the only one on a usually bustling street. Even the hobos are missing.
And we thought The Walking Dead was just a silly fiction.
That could never happen.
*Checks mini-14 magazines, makes sure doors are locked*
All joking aside, it IS eerie to see everything so bereft of people. When I drive home the only vehicles that I see are cop cars and logging trucks.
I’m enjoying the reduced traffic in Spokane. It reminds me of when I moved here 30 years ago.
Plinker – It is still like that here but it wont last long. Everywhere outside the metro areas are filling up with white flight. On the upside our 11 acres on the water are worth almost three times what we paid for it.
This should be the libertarian moment but it just isn’t. Festus has sad.
The libertarian moment is something not even our great grandchildren will see. We are still trying to crawl out of the cave. It is going to take a while.
I hear Massie got a lot of defense.
So did France circa 1940.
Battle flag of the French: White cross on a white background.
Oh….I should mention this. I think this site gets a lot more lurkers than we know.
Not long ago I made a distinction between industrial and nonindustrial economies and the effects that has on culture. I credit you cretins with that as I have never heard anyone make the distinction quite that way but all I did was put together ideas I got from y’all.
Last night wife had Tucker Carlson on and he started going on about the distinction between industrial and nonindustrial societies. Coincidence?
I think not!
There are plenty of people that read the site but don’t want to be tagged with it. “Glibertarians? Ewww”!
Yes. I refer to them as ‘cowards’.
#agreed
site stats…
TOS is/was a semi-respected site. Anyone that lurked there would be sure to at least check out what’s happening over here. I think this site has a much larger footprint than what we perceive. I’m guessing the lurker/comment ratio is at least four to one. There’s about a hundred hard-cores and who knows how many holding off because they don’t want to be seen with us or get called a Tulpa.
It is just remarkable to me how much sway a few words on an obscure website can have on the overall culture. For every one hundred dumb things I say I manage to get it right now and then….blind squirrels and all.
Back in 2016 at one of Trump’s rallies he repeated a comment I had made word for word. Wait, whut? What did he just say?
Maybe it was one of those things that just gives birth to itself, I dunno. Maybe not. I am guessing politicians and newscasters have researchers crawling all over the internet looking for gold.
Yes
Nothing’s over until we decide it is!
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077975/mediaviewer/rm2164542976
Been thinking a lot about that movie, lately.
Be careful, you might get put on double secret probation.
And this never gets old: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDAmPIq29ro
^ 😉 !
WELL, JUST KISS MY ASS FROM NOW ON, HUH?*
*F, as the legacy from Harrisburg you are excused
(that is, you don’t have to buy 10k marbles)
More Japanese lessons. 😉
https://www.kapwing.com/videos/5e7f1c409ac5e900161c9d65
C’mon, Festus, click the link.
Ok, I did get a laugh out of that.
Secret Squid… Great band but they sold out and posted a video. You should listen to their more obscure stuff *sniffs* I have a limited release on red vinyl…
Speaking of the mini-14…..Once upon a time I planned on buying an M-1 Garand as a zombie apocalypse gun but when I went shopping I decided on the SKS instead. Less than half of the price and ammo cheap and plentiful. I ended up with three of them. One day my brother and I were taking pot shots with an SKS, a K-98, my Ruger No.1 in 7mm Rem mag and the mini-24. At 600 yards you can’t hit a damned thing with the SKS. The bullet drops like a rock past 350 yards. At 600 yards with the 8×57 I hit a five gallon bucket on the second shot. With the 7 mag and the 5.45 I hit the bucket on the first try each….brother did the same. He keeps slobbering over my Mauser but I dunno if I can part with it. He is also lusting after my mini-14.
I only mention this because someone….Sean?…was asking about the SKS a few days ago. It is a fantastic battle gun inside 350 yards but outside that…not so much.
Wasn’t me. I’m already a fan. Though I did comment on that thread.
Sargon not an hour long https://youtu.be/l4J83Rxt-3w Twelve minutes!
I dont have the patience for a lot of those guys. They have good things worth listening to but they love the sound of their own voice too much. Ten minutes of video with an additional ten minutes of watching a spinning wheel just isn’t worth it. I prefer print. Just spit it out or write it so I can read.
Right there with ya, Pardner! Sargon usually goes on for at least an hour.
Which could be boiled down to less than a minute.
now this guy is actually entertaining: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePG6zUYvUZg
Drugs fell out of his ass but I somehow watched the entire thing.
Funny story – A guy at work was watching Ozzy Man videos so I nudged him to the one above. He got all het up about sexism. I weep for our society.
I hope you laughed in his face.
I certainly did. What a pussy.
SO MUCH THIS.
Toss up today….fried chicken livers or a crawfish carbona….Suthenboy sauce over spaghetti. Decisions, decisions.
The crawfish are frozen and livers aren’t so I will probably go with bird, liberal Tabasco sauce and ketchup.
Never had chicken livers but I do like some breaded beef ones and onions about every two years. With ketchup just like God and Grandma intended.
Whut? Never had chicken livers?? You haven’t lived. I guess it is a southern thing.
I wish you lived closer. I would cook you and the woman a batch.
Put liberal amounts of Tabasco on the livers. Very liberal. Not quite floating but saturated. Dust white flour over them and mix by hand until they are pasty and sticky. Dunk in all purpose flour and gently press to bread. The heat of cooking will kill the capsaicin so they wont be spicy hot but the pepper flavor will remain. You dont need to add salt because the sauce has plenty. Deep fry in oil at 375F for five minutes. They will be crunchy outside and tender inside. Add more tabasco and ketchup just before eating. I dare you to stop eating them before they run out.
Suthen, I’d eat anything that you put on my plate (within limits) My specialty has always been soups and stews but since my sense of taste has fled, I don’t cook much anymore.
I am sorry to hear about your taste. The greatest joy in my life is cooking for people.
I have mastered Cajun, French, Texmex, Redneck and some Far East but I am just now discovering the universe of Italian.
I cant talk about it because people will start throwing cabbages and rotten eggs at me. Suffice it to say that the 25lbs of angel hair I bought at Sam’s Club last week will be put to good use.
Spaghetti: 1/2 lbs noodles, 6 cups of water, 6 chicken bouillon cubes (or 6 cups chicken stock), 3-4 tablespoons of butter, a hefty dash of sweet basil.
*gaurd the spaghetti or someone will sneak into the kitchen and eat them all with no sauce. They are that much better than plain noodles.
Mix up 2 eggs, 1/4 cup of heavy whipping cream, 1/3 cup of parmesan or Romano cheese, toss in a hefty dash of gruyere cheese, a dash of salt, a dash of sweet basil, and some cayenne pepper. Set aside.
Fry a half of a pound of bacon (American, not Canadian) and cut into 1/4″ slices
After you drain the spaghetti and while it is still hot dump all of that, including the bacon grease from the pan, onto the spaghetti. Mix with a fork. The eggs will cook from the heat of the spaghetti. You will know when it is done. It will make a rich, creamy sauce.
You can add in any other meat you like. Next batch for me will be crawfish but any seafood will do. It wouldn’t hurt to add in some flaky crabmeat.
Grind fresh black pepper over it and garnish with fresh cut green onions.
Again, I dare you to stop before it is all gone.
*Tip – Draining the spaghetti: Put your colander in the sink. Use a fork to take the spaghetti out of the pot and into the colander. When you have a majority of the noodles in the colander you can pour the stock and remaining spaghetti over it. That way the basil and butter aren’t poured out first and lost down the drain.
Oh, and a side dish of fresh salad doesn’t hurt.
I still eat salads with tons of extras and dressing. I couldn’t get fat if I tried.
Oh, and wife likes extra cheesy so she sprinkles some extra hard cheese over her dish after it is served, usually the gruyere.
I underwent oral surgery some years ago. They must have cut a nerve because lots of the things that I used to like are unpalatable to me now. I don’t drink coffee anymore. When I was younger I might have tried bat soup.
I will pass on the bat soup. Every single bat in the world carries rabies. A few months back I had to undergo treatment for rabies.
Take my word for it, you dont want to go there.
Understood. I was making funny. I got mauled by a dog when I was 7 years old and it was the third most terrifying experience of my life, so far.
Yep. That is no fun. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Mother Nature can be one mean ass bitch.
Funny thing for me, I was never scared at the time but I had awful nightmares later.
The one thing that I remember was the dog biting me and one tooth going through my fresh vaccination scab.
Gah! Of course it did. Jesus.
All of the dogs I have now are basically throw pillows with legs….and appetites.
I wont ever take a chance with a dog that shows a tendency to be aggressive again. The one that got on me….I kept wanting to give him one more chance…one more chance. I mean, he is a sentient being just like. you or I…but no more.
I was glad he jumped on me and not my wife or the neighbors little girls but I will never take that chance again.
Put a tooth on a person and they get a bullet.
Farm dog. If he wanted me dead I wouldn’t be typing. Bit me up pretty hard, though.
Total agreement!
A week ago I was trying to describe my dog attack to someone and I could see it sunk in when I said…”Their teeth arent spikes, they are hooks. They dont just bite. They clamp down, hook them in and then shake their head violently to do as much damage as possible.”
I could see the goosebumps break out on the guy.
Yep. Unless. you have experienced it, it is hard to understand.
Yeah, I guess so if you were only seven. You are lucky he didnt get worked up into a frenzy and go all out.
Unfortunately the dog the got on me, a pitbull/ridgeback mix of 65 or 70 lbs was damned determined to kill me and he almost succeeded. I will put it this way – the ER nurse…an ER nurse…said it was the worst attack she had ever seen someone survive.
Poor crazy ass dog.