A “get here quick” call from Glibs HQ. They need links help, since Don Brett has a little, uh, labor trouble to take care of. Ah, the life of a business owner.
These I can do!
Looks like a skeleton crew – Mad Scientist and OMWC are in – but SP is hiding in a walk-in freezer. She has threatened to not come out until September. Mex is on vacation, so no chance I could bail out and beg him to do the links. Jesse is down at the loading dock, yelling at some trucker about 55 gallon drums. Banjos and Sloopy are off – they are the morning shift anyways.
“What’s up fellas?”
“Looks like you are lucky, Swissy….no Cryptid All-Stars today” OMWC said with a snicker.
“Very funny…I’ve got this – why are you two in?”
“Speaking of cryptids – STEVE SMITH is back” said Mad Scientist with a grin, pointing to the opposite door.
I knew I made a mistake turning to look. That was instantly confirmed by the thwipp of a launcher and the sting of a dart in the neck.
Dammit.
….
….
I hate getting tranq darted. Where am I anyways? … some sort of large, armorglass surrounded cell?
“Sorry about that Swissy – but no way you would let us try this on you , um, voluntarily.” OMWC had put on his ‘sincerely regretful’ face. Damn.
“Try what?”
“Well, the two of us being scienticians of the highest order, we are trying to see if we can transform people into SMITHs. You go first.”
“WHAT?”
“Yeah, you are the epitome of stolid, bougie America – so if it works on you, it will work on anyone. Dad, employed, church goer, longtime military guy, lives in the Midwest, etc. etc… Perfect test fodder.”
“Not funny, guys. Now open the door so I can get to the links.”
“Hey we left you a laptop.”
NOT FUNNY!
“No worries – we gave a lab mouse a dose of the same thing – before you even. He’s fine.”
LET SWISS OUT!
“Hey”, Mad Scientist grinned, “Looks like it is taking effect.”
FINE, SWISS MAKE LINKS.
HERE.
- 2020 not BAD ENOUGH. Have MOAR WAR?
- LOSE $750m I would do MORE THAN “THROW PUNCH” OR “CRAP ON BED”!
- Some GOOMBA PAY WAY TOO MUCH for GAME!
GRAH!
[to be continued]
Firs, I can’t do those either. Wait, wut?
I guess it doesn’t count if I can’t spell it. I give my first to Yusef, I mean that dude below, probably a Tulpa.
Howdy! I’ll take your first if Swissy will let me have it……
and its still 118, yikes!
Howdy!
750M here, 750M there, pretty soon you’re talking real money.
In my day, you had to be a govt to squander that kind of money.
Speaking of which, if he really didn’t pay taxes on $650,000,000 then he owes much more than $100,000,000 to the feds. If CA is his residence then he owes the state tens of millions too.
I suspect the $100,000,000 is what he still owes after taking the $650,000,000 casualty deduction.
I expected whiskey or bourbon instead of money.
All i can think of is AOC
I can’t tell where the links are, everything is just another shade of gray.
It’s macular degeneration.
IT AIN’T A TOOMAH!
That’s not the Caspian Sea scenario the Pentagon imagined, is it?
Heh.
IT LOOK Like scenario I DID FOR ILE. SCHOOL LET ME MAKE LTC. FOOLS.
O-5, the last rank of honesty.
Possible honesty.
I give you LTC James Burton.
Came home – front door open. Fuck.
IRISH TRAVELERS LIVE IN HOUSE NOW?
Fortunately not. That might sour it’s market value slightly.
How many did you have to perforate?
Did you leave it open or did someone break in?
I think I must have left it open. I’m going crazy. Why would I do that? I leave the house, and I turn around and lock the door. Every damn day. I either had a Biden moment or something strange is going on. Initially nothing seems lost.
Are you under investigation or something? That would freak me out. Check for bugs and cameras.
I have tables, small bookshelves near light switches. For a while, I thought I was losing my mind. I would swear I had turned off the lights, but then would find them on. It kept happening. Then I caught the cat playing with the switches.
I hate to tell you this, but someone now lives in your attic, ventilation ducts or- more likely- the walls. Better just burn it down to be sure.
https://komonews.com/news/local/its-just-weird-seattle-man-finds-stranger-living-in-his-attic
Fortunately you can carry in Airstrip One. *checks notes* Sorry, be safe before you enter. Maybe you should call the local bobbies and tell them someone inside is an Islamaphobe. That will get them there right quick.
Amber Heard is a fuckin’ lunatic.
Emphasis on fuckin’
She is definitely on the wrong side of the crazy/hot divide.
She is exactly the kind of woman you want to meet at an orgy and never exchange names with.
Let me know where to attend said orgy.
But would you say no? It’s that crazy/sexy scale in action.
Bonhomme Richard’s superstructure collapsed – the ship is probably a total loss. Now they are just trying to keep it from sinking at the dock.
The USS Fitzgerald – the destroyer that played bumper-cars with a Philippine cargo ship – was docked across the pier and had to get out of there.
Bunker fuel can’t melt steel beams!!!!
They claim the fuel isn’t burning and there’s no ammo on the ship. So what is burning?
This is burning.
Not this?
It’s an amphibious ship. I don’t know if the vehicles are in the bay where the fire is, but there’s a massive fireload with the rubber skirts on those things. And the fire suppression systems are turned off in dock.
Is the Serapis OK? 😉
I feel oddly sad because, though I was never on the Bonhomme Richard or any other ship, the barracks in Pensacola were all named after carriers or amphibious assault ships and mine was Bonhomme Richard.
Damn!
See, this is why you ensure that the Marines onboard get their daily crayon and coloring book ration! Bored and hungry Marine 03XXs are a recipe for trouble.
(I know that she was in dock and if there were any Marines on they were very lost or headed to the fan room with that Air Force chick from down the way, just taking the opportunity to take a contrived dig at Jarheads.)
We lost an attack sub to fire by a worker who wanted to go home early.
https://www.wearethemighty.com/articles/submarine-fire-uss-miami?rebelltitem=1#rebelltitem1
Maybe his brother was hired in SD?
Never was on any carrier. Was on an LST gor a few day. Flat bottom + a storm in the Pacific + some exercises going down the ropes to landing boats = nonstop puking.
I’m not sure why he’s embarrassed to have made a staggering amount of money. Having it stolen from him, sure.
A life loss is nothing to jest about. Truly sorry to this family for losing their loved one. Now onto the CWAA reporter/editor with the headline “Ex-U.S. marshal in Nevada cut down by COVID-19”
Reading through the article, the dude was 91 and picked it up because they went to four, FOUR, hospitals for testing I guess. Cut down? Jesus what propaganda tripe
https://www.reviewjournal.com/news/politics-and-government/ex-u-s-marshal-in-nevada-cut-down-by-covid-19-2073093/
I was chatting with a physician (specialist in diabetic retinopathy, so he sees quite a few elderly patients) who was bitching about that sort of nomenclature. He had a patient tell him that her mom had recently died of COVID. He’s thinking, “Your mom was 98, with atherosclerosis, heart failure, diabetes, and a bunch of other problems that come with being 98. But sure, COVID killed her.”
This should end well.
https://www.scmp.com/business/markets/article/3092948/chinese-investors-borrow-most-money-five-years-buy-stocks-bull
Borrowing money to buy stocks? They have a negative interest on loans now over in Chingaling town?
We have something similar, but not identical, in the US market. With bond yields at or near 0, and inflation in about the same range, the only place to put your money is in stocks.
That’s going to end well too.
Agreed. There is going to be a reckoning. I won’t pretend to know when. Government keeps throwing money at it. At some point it won’t work. But I thought that time would have already come.
The markets’ ability to stay irrational is always larger than your ability to stay solvent.
Exactly.
Inflation is not near 0 right now. I have no idea what TPTB are reporting, but I know what I am paying for basic staples and prices are rising.
I’m paying half price for most proteins right now.
How out of control is Johnny Depps life if he lost that much money and got beat up by his wife?
Probably deeply unhappy.
It’s a complete train wreck. I can’t turn away.
I don’t know who she is, but I assume she’s a celebrity also, because it’s always that. And those people know the marriage is a joke before they take the vows. I really don’t get it, wealthy celebrities just may as well find a random woman on the street and give half their money to her, it would be less painful that way.
It’s difficult to have an honest relationship when you and your spouse have made a career out of pretending to be other people.
They probably don’t know who they are.
And are grossly overpaid for it, making you think you are more important than you really are.
Fortunately Halle Berry has put an end to all that “pretending to be other people” nonsense.
I wanted to link that Ian McKellen bit from Extras. That was excellent.
I’m not into celebrity news and such, so whenever I run across a story like this, it makes me pause. All the success JD has had, and it seems like he can’t make a good decision to save his life.
There are life lessons there to learn, I guess.
Nicolas Cage is another dipstick in this vein apparently.
*sigh*
Yeah.
Well played, sir. Well played
*bows like a gentleman*
I read a profile of him once, after the divorce, and the author notes that everyone in the house (including the author) except Depp were paid to be there. Very sad.
https://www.thecollegefix.com/professor-term-low-hanging-fruit-is-a-microaggression-because-it-reminds-blacks-of-lynching/?utm_source=wnd&utm_medium=wnd&utm_campaign=syndicated
I am kind of at a loss with this one. When has it ever…never mind.
Our supposed best and brightest are putting all their efforts into figuring out how every single thing is racist.
“Best and brightest”? Excuse me? As if you have to be bright, as in white skinned, to be best??? Report to the nearest reeducation camp!
Who are you to question someone’s Masters thesis in grievance studies?
It’s just moral preening at this point. The professor has struck a blow for racial justice, or something.
The World is just click bait now, dig dig dig for anything that might do Something,
Strange Fruit, culturally appropriated.
Any political ideology that is compelling you to do some sort of action should be viewed with great suspicion.
Get out there and vote!
It’s a silly argument, but there’s undoubtedly this.
“an adjunct faculty member of Elgin Community College”.
In summary, the “racist” phrase isn’t racist, the “professor” isn’t really a professor and the ‘college” isn’t really a college.
At some point, idiots like this just need to be dragged into a public forum and bitch-slapped until they are a senseless ball of blubbering goo.
a senseless ball of blubbering goo
I kinda have the impression that is their state before you even threaten to strike them.
No. They weren’t “blubbering” before the smackdown, that was “babbling”, totally different.
I thought it was racist because it played to the stereotype of blacks being more hung than whites.
I’m more surprised that shooting doesn’t happen every day in Nagorno-Karabakh.
“Alaska Airlines flight makes an emergency landing in Seattle after passenger threatens to ‘kill everybody on this plane unless you accept Jesus was a black man'”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8517857/Alaska-Airlines-flight-makes-emergency-landing-Seattle-passenger-threatens-kill-everyone.html
Because that what would Jesus do?
Did he knock over the tables?
No, that would be in a restaurant, in a west end town.
Call the police, there’s a madman around.
Running down underground
To a dive bar in a West end town
No West End girls?
“Git outta thissy here temple. Go on, git! I said vamooose!”
Jesus pulled out his .45 and let off two shots straight up into the ceiling, glaring at the terrified money-changers. As the dust falls, everybody hightails it toward yonder exit. Jesus holstered his gun and surveyed the suddenly peaceful scene.
“Darn tootin’.”
*Bonanza theme music*
How’d y’all like them random tenses?
Hit him in the Head with his (((Gold))), Jesus was a Badass,
Hit him in the Head with his (((Gold))),
Always believe in your soul
At least he was wearing a mask and abiding by the rules
Best comment.
Ha ha.
Schizophrenia is a helluva thing. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
Wokeism is a far worse disease.
Schizophrenia is tougher on the family members than the recipient. Probably the same with the big A
Hey i want a clarification on the race of Abraham, Jacob, Issac, Mohammed, Confucius, Buddah…
Every Jesus I ever met was Puerto Rican.
Believe that your ass is going to prison on terrorism charges. Maybe drugs will fall out of your ass, I don’t think black Jesus is going to be assist you with this. If some of the passengers would have just beaten him to death, it would be a better outcome.
This is what happens when Alaska got rid of the prayer cards.
“Dan Scavino, who heads social media for the White House, has the password to President Trump’s Twitter account”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8517465/Donald-Trump-escalates-war-Dr-Fauci-tweeting-bizarre-conspiracy.html
I thought sharing your password got your scared blue checkmark revoked?
Can really forgive the Faucet one, even if on purpose. All auto-corrects turn Fauci to Faucet unless you added that name to the dictionary or some better predictive algorithms
“Dan Scavino”
The MAGA Hat’s real name is Dan?
Danyiel. Show some respect.
Imagine being this shameless
https://freebeacon.com/media/nbc-contributor-reveals-he-never-had-coronavirus-after-network-documented-his-recovery/
They must be deplorables since they don’t believe in SCIENCE!
He should have just said that he identifies as having COVID.
Commie cough is the new ‘2 rednecks tried to lynch me’.
https://twitter.com/ArtValley818/status/1282759673968357377
Animals.
Is going to be hard to feel bad when somebody starts offing them.
Nope, not hard feelings at all. I’ll send more gas/ammo. I’ll even contribute to a gofundme for legal costs and car repairs.
If I had a button that stopped every last one of their hearts I would break a finger pushing it. I’d trade a finger for the button. I keep saying I am struggling with my hatred for these people, but that is not really true. I feel a mtouch guilty about the hatred, but the struggle is over.
#AlllivesSplatter, good one
At some point, you have to defend yourself.
Have to.
When they start beating on your car, accelerate.
When the trunk opened, he should have backed up and seen how many he could take with him to the nearest police station…or woods.
I think it’s starting to boil over. Some guys like this are going to start fighting back. They might just get a civil war if they want it bad enough. I don’t think people just stay silent and let the country burn down, they have families to protect.
A little scary
You do know that’s the link Sean posted to start this string of comments, right?
Yes, but that’s not the same topic. The topic Sean posted about was the guy in Columbus getting attacked.
It’s down twitterthread from Sean’s post. You know, like if I post something else downthread here.
it’s just pulling up the same exact tweet for me.
Well, shit, you are right.
Let me try again.
???
It’s just a question of time before this is done to someone who is carrying. That person is going to get scared and kill a bunch of people in self-defense.
And that person is going to be persecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
You can only persecute the living. Stay strapped.
I’m really surprised that hasn’t happened yet.
It’s only a matter of time before someone starts employing the precautionary principle and sets up a sniper position.
We’ve already had one guy shoot a protestor who attacked him with a skateboard.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8429369/Former-city-council-candidate-31-shot-protester-leaving-critical-condition-New-Mexico.html
It’ll be interesting to see how that video plays with a jury.
The problem with defending yourself during a riot is that the jury might see you as a willing participant in the fight, which kills your self-defense claim under the innocence doctrine. Baca is probably going to have to prove that he was trying to get away from the riot when he was attacked. If he can’t do that, he might be in pretty deep shit.
10-15mph is about right. Fast enough that they won’t be able to keep up with you, slow enough that they can get out of the way, and also slow enough that you won’t wreck your own car if you run one of them over.
Also, this will sound weird, but crack the windows a little. It’s much harder to break a car window rolled down half an inch, then one that’s all the way up.
I’ve never heard that. What is that based on?
If you rigidly support the glass on all edges, it’s more prone to shattering than when it has at least one degree of freedom of movement to absorb the impact.
The things I learn here. You guys/gals are the best.
I learned from my driving instructor moons ago about that. Either small crack or all the way down when driving. All the way up and half open are how you can seriously injured in even a small accident. I just took her word, I was 16 and just wanted my license.
Dude, we (work colleagues) locked our keys and luggage in our rental one time when getting to an airport for an early flight before the rental company opened. (It was one of those places where you just drop the key in a lock box.)
We found a piece of pipe, and decided it was worth the $400 to avoid missing our flight home. I swear to god we pounded on the outside of that window with a steel pipe for 10 minutes and could not get it to break. It was one of those windows that just seats in a rubber grommet, not a metal frame. We actually ended up prying the window 4 inches out from the car, so we could get a stick to actuate the Unlock button.
I wouldn’t worry about trying to outsmart the window game. There’s nothing wrong with the math except that it’s single-ledger accounting. Left unaddressed are the ways that a cracked window leaves you vulnerable and the opportunity cost of the time.
a/ it’s relatively easy for someone with no tools to rip your window completely out of the track if it’s cracked enough to offer a grip
b/ the rigidity of the bottom of the window is roughly the same; 75% of theory is still good, but it’s something to weigh
c/ auto glass often fails but remains in a sheet that few people are committed to wading through to get to you; these are opportunist punks
d/ auto glass is really tough stuff: if someone’s really coming through, it’s show-time go-time and you’re going to make a very, very serious defensive move very, very soon, so the last thing you want to do with those critical seconds is spend on some second-tier theory of modest value; if you cruise around like this all the time, this doesn’t apply, but I can’t imagine: I’m half deaf and the roar of a cracked window drives me nuts
Fighting breaks out on Azerbaijan-Armenia border
How long until some of our inbred politicians want to send in the troops? Or has Lindsey Graham already proposed military action?
They have to figure out which side has more money for military contracts first.
And be sure we are opposed to whoever Putin is supporting.
That would be Armenia. The Azeris have been buying a fuckton of Western kit the last few years – serious shit like jet fighters and surface-to-surface missiles. Not from us, though… I think mostly Israel.
The idea of Israel supporting the Azeris against the Armenians seems discordant. You’d think they would have some sympathies.
Funny this comment is right after Sean’s. Right now I’d be ok with starting a war and drafting everyone one of these Antifa fools.
Uh, no. I don’t want antifa clowns learning military tactics, team work, how to fight in urban settings, and how to operate weapons.
For our own safety, let’s keep them soyboys, cowards, and inept.
I think Kevin is hedging that they wouldn’t be returning home…IYKWIMAIKYD
I find it exceptionally unlikely they could complete basic training, let alone avoid being kicked out for insubordination, failure to adapt, etc.
Behold the awesome might of the Pastel Bloc: https://i.imgur.com/tAIPsbs.jpg
Bet you they went to Hobby Lobby for their grommet pliers for their cardboard shields…
The finest warriors of Antifa’s 1st Infantry REEEEgiment
Smash your scutum (shield) into theirs. A thrust from your gladius (sword) from around the right side of your shield into exposed gut or thigh. Push again with the scutum and step forward over the prone individual letting the second rank turn them into a body with their gladius.
The Eagles would never fear the pastels.
*golf clap*
“Ignore the racket made by these savages. There are more women than men in their ranks. They are not soldiers—they’re not even properly equipped. We’ve beaten them before and when they see our weapons and feel our spirit, they’ll crack. Stick together. Throw the javelins, then push forward: knock them down with your shields and finish them off with your swords. Forget about plunder. Just win and you’ll have everything.”
-speech made by Suetonius to his legionaries before their decisive battle with Boudica
I’d like to just go after the entire organization and arrest all of them on federal terrorism charges.
We give them 2 choices, serve time in a federal prison or get air dropped into Afghanistan to prove how tough you are. Survive 2 years of combat, you get to come home, but a 2nd charge will carry additional prison time or a prolonged air drop into front lines.
We seriously now have democrats supporting terrorist activity and expecting the rest of us to pay for the damage. Mulching devices, something, something.
This is the same as my response for Syria: “Get involved in a civil war in Syria? Sure! What could possibly go wrong in that kind of scenario!”
Just when I’m heading there…
Newsom orders statewide re-closure of indoor dining, limits on church services, salons
The more worrisome part is sounds like they are even dropping the “essential v. non-essential” FASBA: https://www.cnbc.com/2020/07/13/california-to-close-indoor-restaurants-movie-theaters-and-bars-statewide-as-coronavirus-cases-rise.html
“In addition to the statewide order, Newsom said he would also close indoor operations for fitness centers, worship services, personal care services, malls, offices, hair salons and barbershops for 30 counties on California’s monitoring list, which represent 80% of the state’s population. ”
The tweeted graphic says “offices for non-critical sectors” whatever that means.
And they are doing an immediate shutdown. How much millions of lbs of food will go bad…who cares.
what killed me early in this who would pull the football back a day before after stores would prep for opening back in may and june.
these people aren’t going to be happy until noone has a job. JFC.
Don’t worry about Newsom. He gets his check from the government.
Would it be a political donation if Trump bought up all of Goya canned goods and sent them to every address in California?
Newsome would probably sign an executive order making it illegal to own GOYA products. These people are evil.
It’s just as simple as they want to destroy the economy so they can get power. They’re already saying we can never open fully up or quit wearing masks.
I as so tired of this bullshit. Looks like my gym will close again. I’m going to strangle Newsom.
Just wait until he decides we need to have our asses taxed off to pay for all this.
Our dipshit just got turned down by Two-Scoops for riot-aid. I can’t even imagine the taxes that are coming.
I saw that and applauded. Will Walz really take it out on the whole state or will he tell Minneapolis to deal with it?
Minneapolis has chased so much money out of the city I fear he won’t have a choice.
Maybe e-pulltabs…
I say leave it. Whats her name wants the U.S. to be kore like Somolia.
They’re all depending on the polls being right and Biden winning and the feds just opening up the checkbook for all they want.
I don’t think we will have to wait long.
Beatty
Carson City
Coaldale
Parker
Primm
Reno
Vya
Yuma
state line towns stock up for windfall as fruit falls on their side of the fence
Hahaha – you ever been through Vya? Out of all of the towns listed – that one stands out for a reason.
Don’t discount our Governor…he just follows the crowd. I fully expect this same order in the next 2-3 days here in Nevada.
California is a month into their mask-mandate; how many more months will they continue until they realize that maybe cloth masks that grandma made aren’t going to save her or you know, the natural progression of one of the oldest living things in the universe.
Mass. has had the mask mandate for 2.5 months. I don’t think the people will ever take them off.
Here you go.
They are planning on keeping this up for YEARS.
Shut up and stay locked down, because experts!
The unfortunate thing is that EVERYONE insists the opposite: shit is getting bad because everyone refuses to wear masks.
If Biden wins the panicdemic will be declared over before the inauguration. If Trump wins the panicdemic will extend until at least January 2025.
Oh boy, will Biden get a
Nobel PrizeParticipation Trophy too?It’s interesting how many stories I see that are basically “person who scoffed at masks gets COVID”. Which is apparently compatible with “the masks are to protect others”.
Will this end the masks and lockdowns work bleating once and for all? They did everything right according to my betters and are still having surging cases.
No. The betters have had a successful propaganda campaign for the past 4 months with only outliers and “right wingers” going against it. Except for ‘fringe’ websites, nearly all news hasn’t even bothered to raise their hand and ask a question. They just take the press release from the government and reprint.
If we were going to proceed based on a rational reading of the current available evidence, things wouldn’t look anything like they currently look. They’re going to argue for whatever it is fits their preferred narrative, and it doesn’t matter if that means holding fundamentally contradictory beliefs.
As much as I hate the people in power here, there are many good things about living in semi-rural NY.
The cheesemaker dropped my order yesterday and we talked for a bit. I menitoned that this has never been available since I started using the delivery service. They said that their cheese cave has too much B. linens in it and that they can’t get the Penicillium established. But that next week, they’d toss a couple of the unsalable ones in the bag gratis.
They also mentioned that they had been cancelled by their piglet supplier over political differences. What is this world coming to?
Politics is poison, but some people just can’t seem to get enough of it.
https://twitter.com/JBFlint/status/1282737799364411392
CBS has announced a target for its writers’ rooms to be “staffed with a minimum of 40% BIPOC representation beginning with the 2021-2022 broadcast television season, and a goal to increase that number to 50% the following season (2022-2023).”
For all you normal people Bipoc means: Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. If you were trying to create white supremacy and race based politics you really couldn’t devise a better way.
How do you finalize a declining television business?
Why only the writers?
Irish need not apply.
“Bipoc”
OFFS!
Downtown Columbus, center of the city, at the Statehouse.
https://twitter.com/ArtValley818/status/1282759673968357377?s=19
his crime?
failing to engage assailant in DS door center mass with adequate muzzle energy
My uncle had cerebral palsy. I have a strong urge to fix that problem belt-fed style.
rebuttal:
https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1282752376898834433?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1282752376898834433%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitchy.com%2Fdougp-3137%2F2020%2F07%2F13%2Fmasked-antifa-in-portland-opened-a-black-mans-car-door-and-it-was-a-really-bad-idea-video%2F
good on ya, dude
do all these kids talk like cartoon pussy types ?
They need to know that if they actually start the civil war they think they want, playing the victim card is not going to save them.
Bitches. All of them. If they ever managed to do time- even a state pen, they’d be split in two like a piece of dry hickory.
The “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” star’s money problems resulted in a previous legal battle in which he was accused of blowing $30,000 a month on wine.
What a timely and/or enduring reference.
I love when they decide what movie they are going to reference. I would have chosen the “Nightmare on Elm Street” star myself, or maybe “21 Jump Street”
Star of “The Libertine”…
Star of ‘It’s a Shame About Ray.’
Not The Ninth Gate?
+1 Lena Olin
I love that movie.
The whole movie or the final scene?
All of it.
“What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”
Gilllllllbertttttttt! Dad’s dead!
I prefer The World According to Derp, I mean Garp.
I gotta tell you, DiCaprio plays one hell of a mean retard. You’d think he almost has experience.
‘UK experts say air conditioners increase risk of spreading novel coronavirus. AC units recirculate same air, which puts those close to infected people at risk. Opening window while AC is running or turning AC off ‘could reduce risk.’ WHO acknowledged that coronavirus can spread through droplets floating in air.’
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8514027/British-experts-say-turn-air-conditioning-reduce-risk-spreading-coronavirus.html
‘but SP is hiding in a walk-in freezer. She has threatened to not come out until September.’
If the cloth mask stops the droplets, then so will the air handler filter.
Oh I am sure they will find a way spin that one.
The filters are made in China and come saturated and pre-infected with CoVID-19
-Alex Jones-type-thought
They can make the same argument about heat in the winter once that comes around too. Fuck these people (who will absolutely start raising hell to have a/c systems at workplaces and public buildings turned off), I’d rather take my chances.
no filters in a Walk in, try again
giant squid goes all kraken on paddleboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57XY_Z-Xs7w
New satire submitted. Well, it’s a rerun from the comments because I was lazy and never got around to writing a new one. But hopefully some will enjoy it.
Because it looks like a seal from underneath. Wait, what does a squid want with a seal?
SQUID SMITH!
Squidsmith sounds like a guy who works for King Neptune.
“And here is my squidsmith- he takes care of the beaks and tentacles.”
For maintaining the squid cavalry. Duh.
SQUID SMITH HUG! AND BY HUG, MEAN TENTACLE RAPE!
Yog, the monster from space, will not be mocked!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSpJXVP4agI
Better title: Man attempts to stage confrontation with incompletely frozen calamari on leash.
That’s a happy puppy. https://mobile.twitter.com/AmericaBeckyb/status/1282744346853486595
Why would you bathe a dead dog?
The dramatic performance is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long while. Thx!
Happy relaxed dog is happy relaxed 😉
Several Azeri soldiers have been killed and Armenian soldiers and police wounded in border clashes, both countries said on Monday, each accusing the other of encroaching on its territory.
Isn’t this just another day that ends in “y” in that part of the world?
Johnny Depp on Monday claimed then-wife Amber Heard hit him with a “haymaker” punch the same night someone pooped in his bed — hours after he found out he’d lost a staggering $750 million.
Rule 34 is in effect, right?
A sealed copy of 1985 video game Super Mario Bros. set a new world record when it was auctioned for $114,000 — the highest price ever paid for a video game.
Not bad.
Apparently, *uck Schumer wants $175B in graft to reopen schools
A quick calculation suggests it’s well over $3K for every K-12 student in the country.
https://www.breitbart.com/crime/2020/07/10/democrat-mayor-wife-indicted-wire-fraud-charges-mississippi/
*points and laughs*
Jesus what horseshit politicians. You’d think “money laundering 101” would be the first lesson you’d learn when gaining public office. They’ll skate on prison time anyway.
Karla Marx does double white power symbols
I knew she was a closet racist, they always are.
How anyone thinks an OK sign is racist is beyond me.
It’s a 4chan world. We’re just living in it.
You been in a box for the last 10 years, Tater?
yearsmonthsFIFY
I thought this started back during the Kavanaugh theater, when that other white Hispanic chick, I mean the good looking one, was flashing ‘the sign’? OK that, wasn’t 10 years ago, so 2 years?
Damn, was it during those hearings? Good lord…
Time is uncertain in Clown World. Honk Honk.
All I remember was that she was hot.
My point is that everyone over the age of four should remember that it is an accepted form of communication that has nothing to do with racism.
Whatever man, she was hot.
If that’s your fetish…
https://twitter.com/DEGoalie/status/1282683961664299010
Puerile and stupid song of the day. “The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying”
“I was lonelier than Kunta Kente at a Merle Haggard concert….”
https://youtu.be/4uqbJE5nnt8
I didnt even click, but that’s a Bloodhound Gang classic
Bloodhound Gang classic
“The Case of the Thing in the Trunk” would be a perfect title for a Bloodhound gang song.
“Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.”
I’m puerile enough to own a couple of Bloodhound Gang albums.
This is a great thread on cancel culture:
https://twitter.com/SoOppressed/status/1282404647160942598
Better link:
https://twitter.com/SoOppressed/status/1282778441927069696
Hawhawhawhaw
Get back on that syrup bottle, Aunt Jemima and make me some waffles!
Did that sound racist? She started it!
This shit is getting way out of hand.
I asked my wife to pick up some Goya. She said we do not need any beans, we’re stocked up. I told her to find something else then.
I’ll let you know if they’re edible.
The black bean soup they have is awesome. I think I’ll go down to the local market and clear the shelves of it.
?????
We bought some yellow rice, some beans, and some chipotles.
Probably going to try the yellow rice tonight.
I just got done grilling chicken thighs seasoned with Goya Adobo.
Get a bottle of their salsa verde. So damn good on everything.
Mashed up as a base for mofongo?
Oh man, I wish I was back in Puerto Rico right now. {drool}
I drink their coconut water by the liter.
“Yeah, you are the epitome of stolid, bougie America – so if it works on you, it will work on anyone. Dad, employed, church goer, longtime military guy, lives in the Midwest, etc. etc… Perfect test fodder.”
Wait a minute, I don’t think this has gotten enough attention before. You’re telling me there’s a…*dons sunglasses*… Baby Swiss?
Hmmm, did Johnny Depp’s business manager buy a copy of Super Mario? Inquiring minds want to know. Also, I am very sorry to hear about Nestle Smith. I always liked Swissy, oh well, life goes on.
He’ll probably be fine.
Nestle Smith
much better than the discarded “Wiener Smitzle”
Tim Pool tries to custom order a jersey from the NBA store, can’t get “FreeHongKong” printed:
https://youtu.be/XQQCPKbF2ho
At least you can get it printed if you leave the g off the end though. The NBA should just relocate their HQ to Beijing. As a bonus, three fourths of the players would be in the gulag by the end of the year for mouthing off.
I will never give those fuckers a single dollar. The NBA is a massive collection of commie assholes anymore.
This reminds me of the Jane Fonda rants my FIL used to give us. “She’s not a commie or she would be broke. She’s a damned traitor!” Well, yes I suppose so.
OK, fascist assholes.
I sure hope the NBA never finds out about the love of blackface in china: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ehjt-ZH_o
Oh, who am I kidding. It wouldn’t matter in the slightest to them.
I saw a chyron stating that they have to dress in their hotel rooms now instead of parading their fashion for the fans. Poor dears.
You had your surgery right? How did it go? Or am I remembering the day wrong?
Yep. Now lying in bed for the next couple days. I wish they would give me better drugs.
Sorry, the whole drug thing is fucked up.
Hope you feel better soon.
Take care of yourself!
Good luck and get well.
I hope you heal up soon and get some better drugs.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Get well soon. I guess you’re at home, much better than staying in the hospital.
Ha. No. In the hospital.
Good luck, hope you can get some better drugs.
Once they realize the right drugs can stop the complaining…
I hope you feel better soon.
“Isaih Martin (@I_Martin44), a BLM activist at @TAMU, claimed in ultra-viral tweet that racist messages were left on his car. Video shows he placed them there himself. He is now refusing to cooperate w/police. @TAMUPolice are not pressing charges.”
https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1282679248998797312
This why utility linemen are getting fired over “OK” signs, the woke mob has run out of real offenses.
That twat should be expelled.
It’s certainly what would happen to anyone accused of doing that to him.
Not pressing charges even though he could have caused a race riot. Defund the police and expel that asshole.
Meh, point out that he’s full of shit and move on.
Being the victim of your own hate crime is the worst kind of racism.
My phone has the ability to post gifs in text messages. I just realized that they added a subsection of images tagged BLM. It’s right after “recently used”.
Just go kneel on your phone until it loses consciousness.
..or battery life
I can’t tweet…
They’re pushing this stuff everywhere. It’s incessant.
All of the companies think Twitter reflects real life rather than the opinions of the loudest and whiniest two percent of assholes on the face of the planet and they behave accordingly.
HR departments push for this crap because they are staffed with true believers, and they get their way because they have power over internal discipline and hiring.
I only discovered a few weeks back that I can choose from 5 skin tones for all the people icons in my phone’s messaging.
I don’t know if that makes me a bigger shitlord than Samsung, for only including 5 races.
What with the Redskins, you knew the Bee had to weigh in. I think the Patriots is the clear winner.
I did the same thing here this morning!
Yeah, I figured there were probably drugs falling out of my ass.
No, I didn’t link it. I wrote a team by team problemayicness evaluation.
Cowboys= Sexist, racist and prejudiced in favor of the employed
Patriots= Nationalist
Eagles = Nationalist
Redskins = Racist
Raiders = Glorifies violence, racist (associates black with criminality)
Seahawks = Association with Francis Drake who was a slave trader
49ers = sexist, racist, insensitive to Hispanics (White influx to California)
Chiefs = Racist
Packers= Prejudice in favor of the employed, homosexual slur
Steelers = Prejudice in favor of the employed, Steel workers history of racism and exclusion of blacks
Vikings = Sexist, glorifies violence, racist (Blond white guy? really?)
Giants = Ableist,
Browns = racist
Broncos = sexist
Buccaneers = Cultural appropriation, glorifies violence
Ravens= Racist, associations with Asatru which is problematic
Dolphins = Speciesist, Porpoises are not dolphins and exploitation of marine mammals is evil
Saints = Religious bigotry, judgmental exclusion of sinners
Bills = Racist (Buffalo Bill put actual Indians on display) sexist, anti-environmental
Cardinals = Catholic supremacist
Jets= Racist association with white washed Hispanic street gangs, anti-environmental, militarist
Rams= Sexist
Panthers = Racist association with the Black Panthers
Lions= Sexist (Lions are flat out a symbol of sexism, rape, enslavement of females, male chosen infanticide instead of female)
Texans = Racist
Falcons= Ableist association with eyesight and strength, glorification of violence
Chargers, prejudice in favor of the employed, anti-environmental
Bengals = Racist use of a Nationality
Titans = Ableist
Jaguars = Cultural appropriation, glorification of violence.
We should just stop the hate.
Packers isn’t vegan.
Nit picking Rorschach test is how you get committed.
I posted this elsewhere:
Get rid of all ethnic names. Anything related to Native Americans in any way has to go, of course. Redskins, Braves, Reds, Chiefs, Indians, Illini, Blackhawks, Seminoles… It’s cultural appropriation, and therefore problematic. Don’t stop there though, any ethnic references are cultural appropriation. Vikings, Celtics, Knights, Fighting Irish, Canadiens, Spartans, Cavaliers, Legionnaires, and many more reference specific historical and/or ethnic cultures. That includes the Utah Jazz and St. Louis Blues. All are bad. Pick something less hateful.
Get religion and religious references out of sports too. Padres, Cardinals, Devils, Angels, Saints, Demon Deacons, Stars, Kings, Crusaders, and many more.
Get government out of sports too, because government has no place in sports, and the government does all sorts of racist things. Eliminate all athletic programs from the service academies. Capitols, Patriots, 76ers, Senators, Rangers, Nationals, Blue Jackets, Revolution, and Minutemen, among others, change your names to something less offensive.
Names related to jobs and geography are exclusive by their very nature. We need inclusive names. Rockies, 49ers, Packers, Dodgers, Phillies, Nuggets, Steelers, Lakers, Brewers, Mets, Texans, Seattle Mariners and Sounders, pick something else.
Teams named after destructive forces of nature can trigger people who’ve been victimized by those very forces. Lightning, Thunder, Hurricanes, Flames, Avalanche, Fire, and so forth, change your names to be more sensitive to disaster victims.
Finally, too many teams are named after aggressive and/or predatory animals. We already live under the ultimate predatory system called capitalism. Bears, Bruins, Cubs, Grizzlies, Tigers, Bengals, Lions, Panthers, Wildcats, Timberwolves, Eagles, Falcons, Gators, Razorbacks, Rams, Seahawks, Predators, Hornets, Coyotes, Sharks, Bulls, Diamondbacks, get rid of your predatory and aggressive names.
And of course the Browns need to change their name, because are you serious???
“I’m going to need an explanation for this new racist Instagram sticker….”
https://twitter.com/stclairashley/status/1282789805974142976
WTF?
“Yup. The “mute white people” button is there, along with a bunch of other race war propaganda. ”
https://twitter.com/PardesSeleh/status/1282795453046611968
Shush, POCs are talking!
https://www.personaldefenseworld.com/2020/07/rock-island-bbr-3-10-pistol/
A subcompact 1911 with 10 rounds? Hmmmmmm.
The thing about subcompact 1911s is, they don’t run. Double-stack 1911s are also harder to get running than single-stacks. And Rock Island isn’t known for being a real high-quality manufacturer. That’s three strikes, by my count.
I recognize all that. I’m still intrigued.
FWIW, I had a Bul M5 (ported) double stack that ran great. I still regret trading that in.
“Three days ago, Twitter banned Martin Sellner. Now YouTube has banned all three of Martin’s channels (totaling over 200K subscribers). The ban was likely triggered by a libelous, politically motivated “hate report” written about Martin and his movement, Generation Identity.”
https://twitter.com/BrittPettibone/status/1282740041878470657
Nope, not coordinated at all.
How to become Darth Vader and turn your enemies into Obi wan in three easy steps. *Turns off light sabre*
I expect to see the Fox News equivalent of Twitter, Facebook, and Youtube at some point. When there is enough demand, someone steps in to fill it.
Radio is at least 4 steps behind the times (tv, cable tv, internet news, social media) but it keeps chugging along. I suspect the next step might be something like quick bulletins sent via text messages. I doubt very much the telecoms are going to start policing sms content.