A sauce is a liquid that has been thickened and flavored. The right sauce can take a dish from plain and boring to something truly wonderful. What is turkey without gravy, after all. Making a good sauce is a skill every home cook should master. Once you understand how they’re made, you won’t need a recipe to up your game.
In classical French cooking there are five ‘mother sauces’ that serve as a starting point for making a wide variety of sauces. The five sauces are called mother sauces because each one gives rise to its own family of sauces. Escoffier defines the mother sauces as:
- Hollandaise – an emulsion of egg and butter. Variations include bearnaise and Dijon sauces.
- Bechamel – milk, butter, and flour. Variations include cheese, mornay, and mustard sauces.
- Veloute – light stock thickened with white roux. Variations include mushroom, allemande, and white wine sauces.
- Espagnole – brown stock, softened mire poix, and thickened with brown roux. Variations include madeira, demi-glace, and lyonnaise sauces.
- Tomat -salt pork and tomato sauce thickened with roux. Variations include creole and marinara sauces.
Some cooks add mayonnaise as a sixth sauce. It is an emulsion of egg and oil, served cold. Variations include remoulade and gribiche.
One of the keys to a good sauce is technique. It can be hard to show techniques in static pictures and words, so KK and I decided to team up and make videos showing how to make each of the mother sauces. The videos will be coming soon.
What are your favorite sauces?
explain all the roux and mire Poix please, we Americans don’t speak cooking,
Roux is flour fried in fat or oil.
Mirepoix is two parts onion, one part celery, one part carrot.
Unless you are going holy trinity which if you are not you should be.
Holy trinity isn’t mire poor. Fun fact, it’s a substitution because Carrots don’t grow well in Louisiana. But, you probably knew that anyway.
No I did not know the reason, I just know it is better.
🙁
I hated carrots when I was little.
Can’t imagine living without them now.
“Can’t imagine living without them now.”
I knew I liked you for at least one other good reason!
two parts onion, one part celery, one part carrot
an acquired taste? am I up to it?
Roux is equal parts (by weight, IIRC) of fat and flour. EG, melt 14 grams of butter in pan, add 14 grams of flour mix it into a paste and cook until it’s the color you want, then add your liquids.
You can make homemade mac and cheese this way. Make the roux first, before adding the milk and cheese to make the cheese sauce.
You weigh it out?
Since I only ever make it with the fat left over in the pan after cooking meat, I just eyeball it and add a little more flour if it looks under.
I do when I’m starting for scratch (like for mac and cheese). But if I, for example, brown a bunch of ground beef, then I just add the flour after it’s browned and mix it and cook it until the ground beef looks dry with a matte finish. Add the beef bouillon to make the gravy, and once that’s reduced enough can add it to whatever I’m planning to add it to. For example, a shepherd’s pie.
Just so complete beginners know, flour clumps if you add it directly to a liquid. By cooking it in fat before the liquid is added, you prevent this. Also, the claim is that cooking it in the fat removes the bitter taste you’d get if you just tried to eat flour raw for some strange reason. Frankly I’ve not really had too many issue with that.
I prefer using corn starch instead of flour.
Then there isn’t frying.
Someone cat butt this woman.
I decline your invitation.
I, uh, how does that even work? I would think that would make the sauce almost gummy.
Cornstarch, tapioca, arrowroot, etc. all work as thickeners, but are very different than roux.
Right, but the texture of cornstarch would be different than flour in a 50/50 mixture with butter, yes?
I’m thinking like it would be approaching the texture of that ooblek stuffooblek stuff.
Well, yes, it would, but there is no point in mixing cornstarch with butter.
Flour needs to be cooked, otherwise it tastes like raw flour. It also has gluten.
Cornstarch, tapioca, arrowroot, etc. don’t have much besides amylopectin and amylopectin. So nothing much happens in cold water. Then it thickens as soon as it’s heated.
Flour in water needs heat for a relatively long time (lots of simmering and stirring) because it’s limited by the boiling point of water. Flour in fat or oil can take more heat, so the flour cooks in a much shorter time. Flour also won’t maillard in water, so you can’t “brick” it unless it’s in fat.
uh, amylose and amylopectin
My half-assed internet research + some book learnin’ told me that flour is appropriate at the beginning of cooking, and corn starch only at the end.
That’s mostly true. You can knead butter and flour together “beurre manie”, or mix cold water and flour together in a slurry, and add it towards the end if necessary, or if you want add shine or have less fat, respectively.
“What are your favorite sauces?”
Chili Sauce!
https://youtu.be/-vjYu3B6kfU
Green Enchilada
I learned to make a green enchilada sauce in a cooking class last time I was in Mexico. It was a lot of fun.
My green enchilada is essentially my green chili. I am not a fan of the watered down version.
Bechamel – milk, butter, and flour. Variations include cheese, mornay, and mustard sauces.
I had a brain fart. When I read this I thought, “Wait, cheese isn’t a sauce. Oh. Duh. Cheese sauce.”
KK and I decided to team up and make videos showing how to make each of the mother sauces. The videos will be coming soon.
Excellent. I look forward to seeing them.
I like the beer gravy that is part of an Irish pot roast recipe I have.
I had the same exact brain fart.
Ketchup.
?
It’s only recently that ketchup was defined as a tomato product. Maybe we should make an older version of ketchup, like mushroom.
For you.
These days it is called Worcestershire, which is delicious.
I once thought there was no such thing as too much Worchestershire, but then I tried that out in my prize meatloaf and found out that wasn’t really true.
Stupid Lee & Perrin’s changed their recipe.
WHAT?!
In the version they sell in the U.S., they replaced the malt vinegar with white vinegar.
Scoundrels!
banana ketchup
Hollandaise sauce is actually a beverage.
The spousal unit certainly thinks so.
I can hardly wait to get back into restaurants so I can watch her go face down in a plate of Eggs Benny. In public. The woman has no shame.
Shame has no place in eggs Benedict consumption.
Want.
I don’t think I’ve ever had it.
*gasp*
I first had it at Brennan’s in NOLA. I was a convert.
Also *gasp*
Rhywun, that is so sad.
DO try it, it is also a great hangover food…FWIW.
Shame has no place in eggs Benedict consumption.
You and the spousal unit would get along like a house on fire.
Fucking cool. You guys are the best. Can’t wait for the videos.
What are your favorite sauces?
{sniff} I love all my children equally.
STEVE SMITH LOVES YOUR CHILDREN TOO.
STEVE SMITH LOVE EVERYONE! BY LOVE, MEAN…
CRYPTID LOVE VERY DIFFERENT FROM SQUARE LOVE
STEVE SMITH LOVE YOU LONG TIME. LONG LONG TIME
Also loves children
Chile verde with fresh Green chiles, onions and Tapatio!
There was a gyro place across from Madison Square Garden, called King Gyro. Instead of using a tzatziki sauce they had a really sweet sauce that was probably the best sauce id ever tasted. I would go there before Ranger games and would sometimes drive from Brooklyn to get my fix. I would always pepper the workers and try and give me the ingredients, to no avail.
What i did was call them up sounding distressed and asked to talk to the owner. I told him me and my young child had come in there and had gyros and the kid had a bad allergic reaction and the doctors had instructed me to find out everything he had eaten that day so we would know what he couldnt eat in the future. Guy fell for it and i put that stuff on everything for about a year until i got sick of tasting it.
I still remember it was Admiration mayonnaise, sugar, dill, lemon and salt and pepper. Took a while to get it perfect but i got it.
You are an evil man and I love you for it.
Golf.
Clap.
That’s genius. Gotta rip that off.
Nice. I have had the sweet sauce a few times on Donair which is what Americas hat calls Gyro. They also call it Shwarma and the differences should be the libertarian debate on food because they are all the same. I had a Donair pizza with sweet sauce that rocked.
Döner kebab is very popular in Germany, which is stuffed with Turks. Appears to be the precedent for the gyro.
No durprise Donner Kebab is made of people.
😛
Those terms are essentially interchangeable here in Edmonton.
I imagine most of those places will be gone forever by the time the ‘Vid is declared “defeated.”
Best Shwarma on the planet is found in Calgary.
I like Döner Kebab. I eat a lot of it while in Germany.
I miss real shawarmas. Falafel is awful, though.
A good falafel is perfection. But many of them are awful, unfortunately. They don’t keep, at all, so if you can’t get them fresh don’t even bother, but even then, I’ve had bunch that were chokingly bad.
It’s usually made from yogurt.
*Grins* You like-a da sauce.
Never change, The New York Post.
Kyle Rittenhouse flashes white-power sign at bar while out on bond
Didn’t NY Post break the Hunter Biden story? Anyway, I am done with this white-supremacy bs. It’s the “OK” sign of approval. Grow up. I mean, you can’t even adjust your jacket without these tards seeing it through the lens of skin pigment and calling you a white-supreme because of their faux “dog-whistles.
OFFS.
Yeah, I’m not doubting that Mr. Rittenhouse is trolling the cameras here.
Doesn’t mean shit.
The press is soon going to be aghast when they learn scuba divers worldwide are flashing the white power sign while underwater, every time the dive master checks with them to see if they are in good shape.
I’ve been digging on fry sauce lately. Stupid easy to make, allows for lots of variety, and a huge improvement over just ketchup or mayo on fries.
I am a fan of fry sauce.
Welcome to Utah.
What is it?
Keychup + mayo.
+ mustard
I’ve never heard that. Vinegar yes. Mustard, no.
I sometimes add a little mustard but usually just ketchup, mayo, some pickle juice, and a little cayenne and/or smoked paprika.
Oh and Worcestershire.
Mayochup. Which in Cree, apparently means “shitface”.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/sudbury/mayochup-cree-translation-1.5144737
I find these stories ridiculous.
Like Heinz needs to clear its trademarks with the half dozen people who speak that language? You could play this game forever.
I just thought it was funny that the translation worked out like that. Maybe bullshit, like “Nova” doesn’t mean “doesn’t go” in Portuguese, but still.
An inferior substitute for pindasaus, the Indonesian-inspired spicy peanut sauce enjoyed on fries in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Some fry sauce recipes here: https://www.favfamilyrecipes.com/fry-sauce/
Colonizing the Dutch East Indies was the best thing for Dutch cuisine ever. Native Dutch food is…well…I’ll just say nothing and not offend my relatives.
The Dutch gave us gin and Gouda cheese. I can forgive them for any genetic defects (Factor 5) I inherited from my ancestors.
Buffalo, garlic parm, marsala, BBQ. Classic Texas Pete is the best on eggs. Zesty Italian, that Asian dressing you get at hibachi restaurants. Yum Yum…
JetBlue has upgraded its wine list. I can now sip champaign to justify staying mask less.
Look at snobby Mcshampagne over here.
You are just jealous because all you got was a warm Pepsi on the flight out of the Central African Republic.
High five
I use bechamel fairly often, especially with cheeses- cheddar for veggies, parmesan and asiago for pasta are go-tos.
And I’ve never made mayonnaise but it’s also a great starter. For so much.
I look forward to more saucy goodness!
We use béchamel in lasagna and pastitzio.
Stopping by my local place to pick up wasabi scallop poke for dinner. I will wash it down with JCB 46.
*deletes comment*
Mine wasn’t printable either. So, so jealous!
Our put-over-twice flight to Maui is currently still scheduled for March. so weird to go to an island where we’ll have zero family connections, though.
Tonight’s repast: Chicken cordon bleu, Greek salad, leftover butter chickpea with brown basmati rice, and a nice Okanagan Valley Viognier to wash it all down with.
Thx Tulip.
I like your cooking theory articles. I can follow a recipe, but I really don’t know what I’m doing. These help.
Milk gravey with sausage over biscuits. i make a mean biscuit.
Rubber Biscuit?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5FH0NkkTYE
The you’ve basically made a bechamel with added sausage. Very similar technique.
But bechamel sounds soooo sophisticated. Not sure I can picture myself being sophisticated.
I think it sounds snooty instead. I hate the name.
Two (mythical libertarian) girls,
one cupfive (or six) sauces!So Hawt!
*I’ll be in my bunk*
Women. We are women.
Thank god!
/atheist
Yup – as Col Jessup said in A Few Good Men: “I believe I’ve earned it”
But the joke…2 girls, 1 cup…anyone, anyone?
In Japan they sell One Cup sake. I’ll let you draw any necessary conclusions for yourself.
No…nonononono!
*I guess I won’t quit my day job*
*hangs head*
Don’t even mention that …thing. Gah!
*notes Swiss is scat-averse*
*thinks “how can I use this to my advantage during the next zoom”*
Everyone likes their own brand . . .
Seriously, you are not funny.
I use a sauce of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, Dijon mustard, brown sugar, garlic and whatever other spices you want, and bake boneless skinless chicken thighs in the sauce. Tasty.
*drool*
That sounds good..
“Am I understanding this correctly? One of the rioters at the Capitol was actually a Black Lives Matter activist who previously was promoted on CNN by Anderson Cooper?”
https://twitter.com/RubinReport/status/1349865429137670145
“From today’s notes: BLM Leader John Sullivan from Salt Lake City, Utah openly called for violence against Trump.”
https://twitter.com/zenxv/status/1349857547012988930
“Here is anarchist John Sullivan bragging about wearing a MAGA hat to infiltrate Trump supporters”
https://twitter.com/JackPosobiec/status/1349867391405223937
“John Sullivan was at the forefront of pro-Trump violence in the Capitol, egging it on as he filmed.
Now he’s Exhibit A in right-wing claims that Antifa instigated the riot.
I investigate his disturbing history of sabotaging BLM while posing as a leader.”
https://twitter.com/MaxBlumenthal/status/1349793533931233295
Thread here:
https://twitter.com/MaxBlumenthal/status/1349577194369134597
“Left-wing activist charged in Capitol riot after saying he was just there to ‘document'”
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/left-wing-activist-charged-in-capitol-riot
“In an interview with Rolling Stone published Wednesday, Sullivan said he was putting on an act to build rapport with the protesters.
“I had to relate to these people, and build trust in the short amount of time I had there to get where I need to go,” he told the magazine. “To the front of the crowd to see the dynamic between the police and the protesters, because nobody wants to see the backs of people’s heads from a far-off distance.”
He apparently made it there. During the unrest, he tweeted up-close video of the moment a Capitol Police officer fatally shot Air Force veteran Ashli Babbitt during the riot. It had been taken just a few feet away, at the height of the chaos outside the Speaker’s Lobby.”
“Here’s the Trump supporter who was arrested for agitating the attack on Capital Hill, John Sullivan, oh… wait….
he’s actually a left wing activist wearing a Trump hat.”
https://twitter.com/DarlaShine/status/1349868175421304832
“BREAKING: CNN’s Jade Sacker penetrating the Capitol with a member of BLM/Antifa cheering, “We did it!” And then asking her conspirator if he was filming, he said he’d delete it, he lied. CNN was in on it.”
https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1349885882262761473
“2/ To make this clear. CNN was embedded with BLM/Antifa pretending to be Trump supporters videoing them incite a riot. This is freaking huge. If CNN is allowed to maintain its press access anywhere in DC there needs to be a serious overhaul of our entire system.”
“A progressive activist has been arrested and charged with participating in last week’s U.S. Capitol riot a week after he uploaded footage of the event to YouTube.
Utah resident and anti-Trump activist John Sullivan told Just the News last week that he had been present at the riot, including inside the Capitol, “specifically [as] a journalist, just to record the events that were going down.”
Yet FBI agent Matthew Foulger alleged in an affidavit on Wednesday that, rather than merely act as a journalist during the riots, Sullivan “knowingly and willfully joined a crowd of individuals who forcibly entered the U.S. Capitol and impeded, disrupted, and disturbed the orderly conduct of business by the United States House of Representatives and the United States Senate.”
Foulger in the affidavit said that footage taken by Sullivan at the riot shows the activist accompanying and cheering on the rioting crowd by saying things such as “Let’s go. This shit is ours!” and “Let’s burn this shit down.” ”
https://justthenews.com/nation/crime/fbi-agent-says-progressive-activist-was-participating-capitol-riot
The video he uploaded:
https://nsfwyoutube.com/watch?v=PfiS8MsfSF4
“If you want to see how Antifa/BLM incited violence at the Capitol just go through @realjaydenx
(John Sullivan) Twitter feed. Twitter is allowing his account to remain active while banning President Trump’s account. This is sick. @DonaldJTrumpJr”
https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1349882825894490112
“BREAKING: The FBI has arrested #BlackLivesMatter self-described anti-fascist John Sullivan for leading the charge during the insurrection at the Capitol. Sullivan goaded the first casualty of the event to climb through a window just before she was killed.”
https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1349865669383356419
The interesting part of the story that I want to see more of….. he told the epoch times he knew about a plot to storm the capital from message boards he reads beforehand.
what message boards?
Gligertarians.com?
Just kidding. I mean left wing or right wing? hmm.
That, and he was working with someone from CNN.
The ones that I don’t sympathize with! Duh. Its like you don’t even politics.
I have made Hollandaise, Bechamel, and Veloute. I might have to try the other two.
Next up is likely Espagnole
PHOTOS: Phyllis McGuire owned one of the most unique homes in Las Vegas
Who is Tiger Mike Davis? My business hero.
Gourmet Mushrooms, my new Company, grows the following Mushrooms,
Clamshell, brown and white
Nameko
Trumpet Royale
Velvet pioppini
Nebrodini
and Maitake frondosa,
any of those good?
I looked at their website. They are working on Cultivated Morels.
Morels mushrooms fried in butter > than any other mushroom dish.
You had me at “mushrooms”.
Just don’t inject them into your veins.
Dave’s Insanity.
In all seriousness, I actually collect hot sauces. I have bottles of various kinds of hot sauce from all over: Japan, China, South Africa, Mexico, and local blends from all over the U.S.A. – my one limitation is that I have to buy them on-site and in-person. I only have sauces from places I’ve actually been.
I have some stuff I picked up in South Africa, has a rhino on the label. It’s pretty tough stuff.
Does hot sauce expire? I recently found one, unopened, in my pantry from a couple years ago. I don’t want to just toss it because it is produced by a small, local-ish business and idk if I can get it now.
If there’s an expiration date on the label, then yes; even so I wouldn’t eat it after, say, two years. A lot of my stuff is more souvenir then seasoning.
Expiration dates are bullshit.
Do you always keep some with you in your murse?
I’ll be honest. I like it all, man.
A red-wine mushroom sauce is probably my favorite
“What are your favorite sauces?”
Yes.
Having been in your company when you were hitting the sauce, I can readily believe that.
The Swissinator : [picking up bottles at a bottle shop, while looking at the bottles on the wine rack behind the clerk] The Red 750ml.
Clerk : That’s Italian. You can go dry or semi-dry.
Clerk : [hands the Swissinator the Chianti bottle]
The Swissinator : The magnum of champagne, with laser etching.
Clerk : [hands the Swissinator a bottle from the glass case in front of the clerk] These are brand new; we just got them in. That’s a good drop. Just touch the cork, the bottle pops, and the booze goes right in the glass. You can’t miss. Anything else?
The Terminator : Irish Pot Still Whisky, in the 100-proof range.
Clerk : [annoyed] Hey, just what you see, pal!
The Swissinator : [looks around] The Cote d’ Rote.
Clerk : You know your alcohol, buddy. Any one of these is ideal for home consumption. So uh, which will it be?
The Swissinator : [pointing the champagne magnum towards the door] All.
Clerk : I may close early today. There’s a 15-day wait on the Cote d’ Rote but the other wines you can take right now.
[sees the Swissinator chug his magnum of champagne]
Clerk : You can’t do that.
The Swissinator : [drops bottle] Wrong!
I’d say something about the impropriety of chugging good hooch, but who am I to talk?
?
LOL
My family goes through jars and jars of Thai Peanut sauce. It is especially nice on skewered chicken. They like the commercial versions better than my home-made version. *sad face*
I’ve never had a thai peanut sauce that I cared for.
I’m sure it’s just my sense of taste.
Me neither. I opt for the basil sauce when I get Thai.
Of course, consuming and enjoying the foods and culinary methods of other cultures is cultural appropriation, which makes you a bigot…somehow…
Embraces the bigotry. The tasty, tasty bigotry!
Not a fan either.
It’s great on bok choy.
Lul.
Apparently, I had this box of microwave thai rice noodles with peanut sauce in the kitchen. I just cooked it, and it has the first iteration of the sauce that I liked the taste of.
“Bombshell revelations as Trump declassifies all FBI documents in Russia probe ”
https://justthenews.com/podcasts/john-solomon-reports/bombshell-revelations-trump-declassifies-all-fbi-documents-russia
Dude really needs to declassify anything and everything. He has until 1pm Jan. 20. Do better.
Even the parts where [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] [REDACTED] with all of the [REDACTED]? Or where the senior [REDACTED] [REDACTED] the [REDACTED] in the [REDACTED]?
Certainly not the part about the [REDACTED] [REDACTED] extra[REDACTED] [REDACTED] the [REDACTED] [REDACTED] in exchange for [REDACTED] [REDACTED] the [REDACTED] [REDACTED]?
“ALSO BREAKING: President Trump has declassified large numbers of documents related to Russia Collusion hoax.
FBI has tried to keep many of these documents secret.
Incldng, Christopher Steele admits he created Trump-Russia collusion hoax to distract from Clinton email scandal.”
https://twitter.com/EricGreitens/status/1349893940309340161
My favorite has to be a good pan sauce. After you pan cooked a piece of meat, add some shallots, deglaze with wine, cook it down until it’s starting to thicken. Maybe a little demiglace. Then take it off the heat and swirl in several tablespoons of butter. Adjust seasoning and serve.
Yum.
I’m no perfeshonal but I’ve tried my hand at that a couple times and damn it’s tasty.
That’s my goto also.
Although I don’t use actual demiglace, just beef base.
New travel restrictions
Effective January 26, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will require all air passengers entering the United States (including U.S. citizens and Legal Permanent Residents) to present a negative COVID-19 test, taken within three calendar days of departure, or proof of recovery from the virus within the last 90 days. Airlines must confirm the negative test result or proof of recent recovery for all passengers prior to boarding. Airlines must deny boarding of passengers who do not provide documentation of a negative test or recovery.
“Show me your papers.”
what if you’re one of the millions who have either had covid or been vaccinated? massive waste of time and money.
Yes, but it’s your time and money so they don’t care.
Exactly this.
According to the FAQ page, being vaccinated doesn’t exclude you from having to get the test.
dumb
They have really lost the thread. If I’m under 70,why am I getting it if I still have to be tested?
Bastards. People keep telling me tune this stuff out and go about my business, but it seems near impossible to tune things like this out.
I try to ignore it as much as I can. For example, I do absolutely nothing to comply with quarantine/test requirements while crisscrossing the country.
So wait, they can legally block AMERICANS from coming back home?
GTFOH.
Seems like a court challenge in the works
Looks like conservative/libertarian lawyers are about to be enriched by the flood of suits that are bound to come in.
We can only hope that court packing doesn’t happen. If it does, we’re really fuuuuuuuuuucked.
You say the enriching lawyers part like it’s a bad thing.
*rains dollar bills on the ground*
*picks them back up and stuffs them back into the Dave Ramsey envelope*
*stuffs Dave Ramsey approved debit card deep into pocket*
Definitely not.
Well, maybe not legally…
“Airlines.”
What does it say about private and charter flights?
Same rules
hoisin
“What are your favorite sauces?”
1 Béchamel (specifically Biscuits and Sausage Gravy)
2. Hollandaise (specifically Eggs Benedict)
3. Soy
4. Mayonnaise
5. Wasabi (more of a paste than a sauce)
6. German mustard or Chinese mustard
7. Thai peanut
OMG I forgot Hoisin and Tonkatsu sauce!
I am currently addicted to Boar’s Head deli mustard with white wine and horseradish.
*Homer drool*
There used to be a restaurant in Wichita that made Chicken Mutarde (Mustard Chicken) that was divine. That was pre-children.
I should try that.
Throw some Karashi on that list.
Way to start big, Rangers. It’s going to be a long, short (asterisked) season.
Hah! You beat me to the snark.
Ugh I’ve only been employed here for 3 months and I’m already in a position where I’m incapable of doing anything better than a half-assed job. “What do you mean you can’t work 24 hours a day?”
Sometimes I think managers are just trolling.
“What do you mean you can’t work
2428 hours a day?”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7HWmUyQEyg
LA Kings announcers all have masks at all times…makes sense I guess cause LA is all about it.
Ugh. I just can’t bring myself to watch the Wild announcers but at least they aren’t muffled.
Is Jim Fox still on the Kings’ broadcasts? That guys timbre and inflection bugged the hell out of me.
Yes still color. As long as it isnt Haywood I am okay.
Hayward on the Ducks’ broadcast? That guy is the biggest homer ever.
Does Rick Jeanneret still do Sabres games? That guy is the real biggest homer ever.
I hate it when I come back to the site after a few hours to find a great post and I have no idea of where to begin to respond and join the conversation, and I have to go to bed soon.
Anyway, looking forward to the saucy ladies’ upcoming reports. I love cooking, I love chemistry, and I love the chemistry of cooking.
I don’t know if I can say I “love” cooking yet, but I’ve grown to appreciate it a lot more in the last couple years. I’ve learned a lot from all of you reprobates.
But some nights – like tonight – I just want to pop a frozen dinner into the microwave and be done with it.
Nothing wrong with that.
I still have a lot to learn about cooking, and I especially like it when smart people I find interesting want to talk about how they cook.
Dinner tonight was leftover dumplings from lunch, a couple handfuls of peanut-butter-filled pretzel nuggets, and around five fingers of cinnamon-infused bourbon with a splash of Amaretto. I own it.
Nothing wrong with that
Right there with you microwave brother.
I like to have some frozen portions of chili or something in the freezer for such occasions. It’s home cooking with the laziness of microwave food!
5 pieces in a row by the libertarian ladies. Good stuff. Is this a hostile takeover?
They have desecrated the temple of our toxic masculinity.
I do like the new toilet seat cover.
If the seat has to be down, the lid goes down too. If one of us has to lift something to make the toilet useful, both of us do.
I’m letting down my sisters!
The only place I’ve ever seen OANN in any TV lineup was on JetBlue. Used to be. No icky channel anymore.
There is a bagel shop run by Koreans in Tyson’s Corner, VA that had Fox on until after the election and then they switched to OAN.
Koreans, man. The Texans of Asia. ?
Holy shit did the Rangers look awful. Can we fire Quinn yet?
I’m not sure it quite qualifies as a sauce, but a good homemade Russian dressing can’t be beat on a roast beef or corned beef sandwich. Mayo, chili sauce, finely minced onion, horseradish, a dash of Worchestershire, and a squeeze of lemon.
Yes, please.
I’m so bummed the Islanders got Trotz.
Oh, and a good remoulade is essential for crab cakes.
I have repost this:
https://twitter.com/doug_person5/status/1349429927150563335
Wow, a woke pajama boy from Brooklyn could wander in here tonite and discuss artisanal mayonnaises and feel right at home.
*burp*
*scratches self*
What?
This is what happens when you let women start posting.
*runs away in a cowardly fashion*
*rusty tin can lid rattles ominously*
My favorite sauce?
Abuela Dean’s New Mex red sauce.
Do Arby’s Cheese or Popey’s Mardi Gras Mustard sauce count as mother sauce? If so, consider me a connoisseur of fine sauces.
I’ve gotten on a Franks kick for a while now, if we’re talking bottled sauces.
My sauce game is admittedly a bit weak, but the pan sauce I made as part of ATK’s “Weeknight Roast Chicken” was just dynamite.
Roux aren’t done here much at Chez Slum, since the wife has a legit gluten allergy – don’t think GF flour makes a proper roux.
I lost a dick swinging contest today.
Apparently my dick isn’t big enough.
Hard times ahead, friends, hard times.
No judgement, you do you.
My boss’s boss decided over me on a decision that I had talked to him personally about 3 months ago.
Storage issues. I guess I’ll just leave my test articles in the snow bank. (it’s not like there is a lot of time and money tied up in building, certifying, and testing these things) *rolls eyes*
I read test articles as testicles. Make of it what you will.
?
“But can you even tell?”
Were the parameters for victory velocity or frequency?
Fantastic stuff, many thanks for this!
Sabayon, my favorite dessert sauce, not sure if it falls into one of the mother sauces. And fonduta is an Italian sauce that wants to be French, and has clogged my veins more times than I can count..
Swiss fondue is a type of sauce. Cheese, garlic, and wine. Thickened with corn starch. Slathered onto bread cubes (or cauliflower and broccoli, in my case). It is my 2nd favorite Christmas meal. First is raclette.
RACLETTE!!!!!
I had to order some books earlier this week. Without thinking, I went to Amazon and picked what I needed. Just before ordering, I was reminded how revolted I am by what AWS did to Parler. I don’t have a Parler account and haven’t been on Parler. I compared prices between Barnes & Noble and Amazon. I paid more for two out of three books on B&N. I put my money where my mouth is bought the books from B&N. I just couldn’t stomach placing an order with Amazon when I had an alternative. Maybe B&N can figure out a way to lower their prices and really get in the game.
One sideboycotting/banning/deplatforming etc and the other side not employing the same tactics means the outcome is assured. Makes you think the only possible peaceful solution is separation.
I’m wondering if there are techies with deep pockets or venture capitalists (but I repeat myself) who are either sick of this shit or see an opportunity. If they built the plumbing for the internet and had took on anyone not committing a crime then it would completely undermine the power play. Naturally, progressives would be incensed and happily stay where they are. Most, if not all, deplorables would migrate. We would, in effect, have two internets divide by politics.
Progressives are on a crusade and while they need echo chambers to recharge their batteries, their whole mission is to go out slaying infidels. They are a bigger threat and more zealous than Al Qaeda.
You know how you have oranges, and then you have “mandarin oranges” – the little ones? Once sitting in a meeting in China, there was a bowl of little oranges on the table. One of my US-ian colleagues asked “what do y’all call these?”, and our Chinese guys looked at us like he was a nut. “It’s an orange. I thought you knew what an orange was.”
They have plenty of the big ones – just don’t make the distinction, especially with “mandarin”. Thought it was funny.
Does anyone else get pissed off about the state of agricultural genealogy and etymology?
Also, Chinese guy in story is asshoe. Yeah, I know what an orange is. ‘what do you call it’, because, and you’re gonna love this, we call em…
Why bother paying any respect to the peasant? They know our leaders are CCP property.
Who surfaces in public first? Jack Ma or Gina Haspel?
We’ve always been at war with Jack Ma.
Ali Baba and the 1.1B Intellectual Property Thieves?
?
Options for Jack Ma are dead or working a gulag somewhere in China, so I gotta take Haspel, but I admit the whole Haspel thing is a bit weird. Grade A swamp creatures don’t disappear, they join the board of Raytheon or whatever, so why is that not known, if Biden’s gonna replace her?
Just found out that I’m mentally retarded and everyone I encounter is simply humoring me. Good news is that I can masturbate in public now.
Now?
You’d have to be retarded not to masturbate in public. Who’s gonna stop you? It’s the perfect crime.
This week I have been getting real dumb. I used to be pretty smart, but not anymore. Here is a short list of things that have confused and confounded me this week:
Gravity
Cardinal directions
Time
Chairs
Parking lots
The Sun
Keys
I would normally blame it on alcohol, but I’ve been fairly sober this week. I’m getting older. Retarded, maybe? Maybe a brain tumor?
You’re really Primitive Unfrozen Caveman Auditor, aren’t you?
ITS NOT A TUHMAH
Gravity confuses many people. Fortunately my cats are working on it with multiple experiments each day.
I read that as “Gravy confuses many people…” and wondered how much cooking your cats did.
could explain the mess in the kitchen
Good news is that I can masturbate in public now.
If you choose to, you can either blame it on retardation, or genius.
I submit for your consideration, the philosopher Diogenes, one of the founding fathers of Cynicism. From wiki:
Thank you for your service
In other news, it seems my Kittah refuses to die, she’s eating better, and walks with a normal gait again, and of course complains like a Cat does,
Happy Yusef!
Yay!
That’s wonderful news!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM
?
I’m off to grow Mushrooms,
Cheers everybody!
Cheers.
Happy farming.
Good luck with the shrooms!
I don’t want to go to work.
Me neither. This week has been draining my energy and trying my patience.
I have no desire to connect to work today either.
Is it something in the air(waves)?
::refers back to Sunday’s IFLA post:: I dunno. My tarot reading was actually good for a change.
In more tangible air, we’re getting rain with snow bearing down right behind it.
Maybe we are experiencing a little cabin fever due to winter and exacerbated by Covid lockdown.
The days are getting longer so that tends to make us want to get out and gambol outside.
Here we are due for a heat wave today: 80 degrees!! I’m gonna want to bail out early but my schedule says not a chance.
Me threener.
Gotta get to the plant early to bring in some specialty tools from home to do a delicate disassembly task on some parts before the technicians try to come along and brute force it.
The items needing assembly have the wrong thickness of o-ring, and they pieces all snap together are meant to stay together. So late last afternoon, we found that air was leaking due to inadequate o-rings, and now we have to perform delicate surgery to un-snap the assemblies and replace o-rings.
Naturally the technicians assembled all of the units without checking the performance of the first article. Grrr…
But, on the bright side I have a job.
#metoo but it’s the New Normal dontchaknow… Down to six nights a week. #winning!
I’m at work.
/frowny face
working on a humidifier for a hospital: easy day
I thought of sources not listed, but all I could think of were dessert sauces, like caramel or chocolate.
Then I recalled my mother’s New Orleans style bread pudding drizzled with whiskey sauce. She always used Crown Royal to make the sauce.
Now I must seek out bread pudding.. Might have to make it from scratch.
Howdy neighbors! And no, no I have not read the fricken article yet. Going back a a little now.
Morning, Festus!
Festus for the rest’us.
Hey, hey Hayek!
I like toyomansi. It is a mix of soy and calamansi sometimes with chili. Thai chili suace is also good.
I used to use roux for many base sauces. Taught to me by a stoner friend that was bankrolled by his wealthy parents so that he could open a restaurant. He showed up sporadically and the place went under in 6 months. I remember running the kitchen and front alone until the 17 year-old waitress could arse herself out of bed come Saturday morn. Two weekends of that bullshit ended a long friendship.
The double boiler and the whisk are your friends.
Great list. I really look forward to the videos.
On a tangent, I recently came to a conclusion on whether the red stuff you put on pasta is a sauce or a gravy. My conclusion is that Bolognese is a gravy, since it is cooked in the fats of the meat being served. The rest are sauces.
How is gravy not a sauce?
Wops call termater sauce “gravy”. Real gravy is made once you remove the meat from the roaster and then add some thickening agent to the juices.
I have never heard anyone call tomato-based sauce gravy.
I know a few Italian dudes who call it that. Not sure why.
Heh, forgot Wop was a derogatory word for Italian. Been a minute since I’ve seen or heard that word.
I’m just fucking around. In fact the first time I heard it referred to as gravy was while watching “Goodfellas”. Bigotry confirmed.
To be fair, it’s probably the right reference for a lot of homemade pasta “sauces” in the U.S. Historically, Italian-Americans usually had pasta with “gravy” because they were poor and it was cheap. But, they usually made, even unwittingly, some variant of a Bolognese, using a little bit of meat stretched a long way in the gravy. I’d argue that the meat makes it a gravy and not strictly a sauce.
Okay, and is the Southern breakfast dish, “Biscuits and Sauce”?
Would I once again “out” myself as a hopeless non-foodie if I gave a shout-out to Alfredo sauce?
Sadly, the version in the frozen Atkins Chicken Broccoli Alfredo always seems too watery.
Granma Marge taught me how to be a short-order cook. The one thing that she and I sparred about was her using 1940’s slang when placing orders. “Jesus Christ! Just hang them up like a normal person!” Fast talking high pants, indeed.
It was like this – https://youtu.be/b1ax-IrfluQ She was a vet and never got over it. She wore those rolls in her hair until the day she died.
Her hair was thus – https://youtu.be/6BVRlwfKQ8c
Good morning, everyone!
Nice article, Tulip. Since jerk is my favorite food, I gotta go with a good, hot jerk sauce.
Phrasing… Nobody ever does phrasing no more.
Sad!
Jerk.
I’ve been pondering going full jerk for 2021.
*starts shopping for a bullhorn*
🙂
I was born a poor black child…
I am not a bum.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/01/roger-stones-wife-hospitalized-attacked-leftist-goon-walking-dog/
Gonna be a long, violent year.
OK, so I know I am late to the thread…hey I have a job. Anyway,
Here is MY hollandaise recipe. Please note I am a traditionalist and use a Bain Marie, never any blenders etc.
The key “magic” that I should NOT be sharing is in the ingredients:
1 cup of clarified butter
2 egg yolks (some people like it more eggy ergo 3 yolks is fine)
juice of 1 fresh squeezed lemon
1 shot glass of cold water
kosher salt
(1 tsp cayanne – optional)
1 bottle Moet Chandon Imperial Champagne
– gently heat the egg yolks while whisking constantly in Bain Marie
– add 1Tbps of lemon juice (really to taste, I like it more lemony, just don’t go and add the whole thing. There will be time to add more later)
– add 1Tbps of champagne and start drinking the rest (this is the magic maker)
when yolks and acids are combined and look thin, homogenous, and lack bubble then S L O W L Y drip butter into mixture
YOU DAMN WELL BETTER NOT HAVE STOPPED WHISKING!!
now, play the “how fast” game…keep slowly adding the butter, you can increase the stream slightly as the emulsion gets bigger and more stable
(this works well if it is still hot from the classification process)
about 2/3ds of the way through the butter check for taste, salt to desired level
Notes: You should be constantly moving the bowl on and off the Bain Marie which should be just under boiling/simmering
Glass bowls are best for beginners, metal moves very quickly so shit can go catywompus fast
The shot glass of water is for dripping into the mixture if it needs cooling or is too thick, Also you should just use more Champagne
Continue to add and adjust water/champagne/salt/and butter until result is perfect.
The ONLY time you stop whisking is when you grab a spoon to put it on someones plate.
If you have made it this far then pat yourself on the back, then realize you never finished mis and you are well and truly screwed.
Strip off clothes and jump in, you have literally seconds for best results.
(Yes this sauce IS a bitch and takes a lot of focus and effort BUT it has never not been worth it)
If your sauce breaks – kill a small furry animal in anger, once calm again realize there IS a way to fix it…but that is one too many secrets for a single comment.
On a personal note, once the searing hot rage has left, actually seeing the sauce break is fascinating.