Why hello there Glibbies.

Here’s your weekly roundup of wtf I’ve been reading.

Oberstgruppenführer Cuomo has decided that the 11pm curfew is lifted for fucking billiard halls in New York starting April 5th, but not bars and restaurants. He’s ignoring reality, again, as well as the fact that cue balls are fucking filthy.

On Tuesday the Israel Antiquities Authority announced portions of the Dead Sea Scrolls has been found; the first such discovery in 60 years.

A burger joint has renamed their menu items for expensing purposes. If you order a non-slip rubber mousepad you’ll really get a Mexican coke.

I’ve been following the drama with the Royal Family ever since Harry started dating Meghan. This last week has been better than a lot of scripted television. The Telegraph had a great line in a recent article about the grifter known as the Duchess of Sussex: “wokery insists on treating a subjective view as objective truth.” Paywall-free link here.

Charlie Hedbo is being criticised by the wokerati about their cartoon of the Queen kneeling on Meghan’s neck. I think the cartoon is in bad taste, but it’s Charlie Hedbo; that’s what they do. If you don’t like it, don’t read Charlie Hedbo. #FreeSpeechAndAll

Incidentally, if you need to bypass a paywall, I’ve found great success with the Archive.is Chrome Extension. And no, I don’t use Chrome, but I install it in Opera.

Some non-Americans share on Reddit the things they were surprised to discover are real. My favourites include:

“I always thought that the Olive Garden in The Simpsons was just code for ‘generic restaurant.'”

“You have those angry sinks that chop shit.”

Here’s why USPS trucks look so weird.

One of the strangest cookbooks ever published, 102 of Oliver Cromwell’s “family recipes” were paired with political propaganda. You can buy a copy for £6.99.

The genetics of eye colour are potentially more complicated than we thought.

Alabama’s bill regarding yoga in schools is being described as white supremacy in action.

Our One True God now has a sequin pillow made to celebrate his image.