Daily Stoic Week 42

The Daily Stoic

The Practicing Stoic

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

October 22

“So someone’s good at taking down an opponent, but that doesn’t make them more community-minded, or modest, or well-prepared for any circumstance, or more tolerant of the faults of others.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.52

Just because I am good at things that impress some people, (shooting, working on cars, rough carpentry and the like), doesn’t mean I am a good person. Those skills are useful, but it is more important that I am good at being an honest and strong man. It is also important that I don’t get impressed with my own abilities, or become condescending to others that can not do the same things.

 

October 23

“People aren’t in awe of your sharp mind? So be it. But you have many other qualities you can’t claim to have been deprived of at birth. Display then those qualities in your own power: honesty, dignity,  endurance, chastity, contentment, frugality, kindness, freedom, persistence, avoiding gossip, and magnanimity.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.5

Some people are better at at different things. I am a quick learner, once I read something I usually remember it right away. I am not “quick” when it comes to a serious debate or joking around with friends. In the Marines, I was known for not being able to get into a rapid fire insult round without being reduced to “Fuck you” which meant I lost. It seems nothing I do can change that. I do have the power to change my perceptions and reactions to the things happening to me. I also have the power to decide to be honest and trustworthy. These are what I need to focus on and not worry about shortcomings I can’t control.

 

October 24

“Dig deep within yourself, for there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow if you will keep digging.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.59

Goodness is not an external item. If I want my wife to be happy, I cannot just wait for her to be that way. I have to make the decision to do things for her. I also have to be the kind of person that makes her happy, by being a good man and not acting like an idiot with money or running around. It is up to me if I want to be in a bad mood because my laptop is still screwed up. Bringing anger home will not make either one of us happy. I have learned to not get as angry anymore, so it’s easier to not do that. The feeling is still there, just waiting for me to slip up.

 

October 25

“What, then, makes a person free from hindrance and self determining? For wealth doesn’t, neither does high-office, state or kingdom—rather, something else must be found . . . in the case of living, it is the knowledge of how to live.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.1.62–64

The only way to be free from anger is to learn how not to get angry in the first place. My financial situation does not help with this. No matter how much money I am making and how nice my house is, there are still things that irritate me that I cannot control. If I cannot control it, getting angry doesn’t help and often leads to bad decisions that make it worse. As long as I remind myself of this simple truth, I am living a good life, regardless of how external forces are treating me.

 

October 26

“The best and the greatest number of authors have asserted that philosophy consists of three parts: the moral, the natural, and the rational. The first puts the soul in order. The second thoroughly examines the natural order of things. The third inquires into the proper meaning of words, and their arrangements and proofs which keep falsehoods from creeping in to displace truth.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 89.9

I try to be as honest in my daily life as possible. I believe living a deceptive life is unnatural and not good for me or anyone that has to deal with me. Being rational means being able to separate emotions from logic. All three of these put together help to be able to see when outside forces are trying to manipulate my opinions, or lie straight to my face. This also helps to form my personal belief in freedom and my disdain for word salads that don’t have a true meaning.

October 27

“Crimes often return to their teacher.”
—SENECA, THYESTES, 311

This reminds me of being a kid and hearing my mother say, “Do as I say, not as I do”. I made a vow never to say that as a parent, and I think I was successful. Not that I never acted in a way that I wouldn’t let my kids, but I made sure never to utter those words. Most of the problems I had with my kids were because they acted just like me, even though I tried to get them to do something different. I showed them to be direct and honest and sometimes that honesty would cause problems. They also grew up seeing me drink a lot of beer and not surprising they also seem to enjoy beer. I guess the lesson is to never forget who is watching and don’t be surprised when they say “I learned it from watching you”.

 

October 28

“You’ll more quickly find an earthly thing kept from the earth than you will a person cut off from other human beings.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 9.9.3

I don’t like to hang out with the people I work with. They are not bad people, but I don’t “fit” with them. I am perfectly happy to hang out with my wife. It is nice to hang out with my brothers and stepdad, we always have a good time together. I need to remember that even though I really don’t have friends that I see often, I do have real friends and I am not as anti social as I think I am sometimes.

 

Music this week is Fates Warning

 

This guy can hit the high notes, and the rest of the band is excellent.

I know not many of you like the same music I do, but i don’t care, I like what I like