A Glibertarians Exclusive: Breaking Out, Part V

by | Mar 27, 2023 | Fiction | 163 comments

A Glibertarians Exclusive:  Breaking Out, Part V

Thunberg-121 – Outside

Almost as one, the crowd turned on the two Security troops and the Disinformation Control bureaucrat, who had followed them outside.

Denver found a handy rock sticking a meter or two out of the ground, climbed up on it.  “Well?” he shouted.  “We were all told that the environment outside was destroyed.  We were all told that previous generations burning fossil fuels made the Earth unlivable.  We were all told that the population crashed, and the only survivors were in the Modern Cities.  Does this,” he waved a hand at the peaceful evening meadows outside the walls, “does this look unlivable to you?”

“It may not be safe,” the Disinformation Control bureaucrat began, but he was rapidly shouted down:

“There isn’t anything wrong with the environment out here!”

“You lied!  You all lied!”

“You kept us all sealed in that dome for generations, and you all lied!”

One of the Security troops put a hand on the Disinformation Control bureaucrat’s shoulder and spoke quietly for several seconds.  Then: “We’ll be closing the doors,” the Security man called out.  “If you remain out here, you won’t be allowed back in.”

“Oh, no,” Denver called back.  “You’re leaving the doors open.  No more lies.  No more keeping people locked up in here.  If any more people want to come out, they can come out.”  The crowd, by now a couple hundred strong, roared.  “You’d better get back in there.  I can’t guarantee your safety if you stay.”

The City officials looked around, and then pulled a fast fade back inside.

“All right,” Denver called out once the crowd’s attention turned back to him.  “I’m proposing we all move away from here.  The four of us in the Freedom Caucus have been living in the woods, but we’ll need to find a better place for all of us.  And we’ll need some supplies.  Does anyone here know where the refectory’s food is stored?”

Several shouted in the affirmative.

“How about clothing?  Shoes?”

More raised hands.

“OK.  Here’s what we’re going to do.  Anyone who knows where to get food, water, medicines, clothing, tools, raise your hands.  We’ll go back in groups of at least ten.  Arm yourselves with whatever you can find in the warehouse there – wood, metal, whatever.  We will meet back out here in one hour.  They we’ll move off to the south.”

“Why the south?” someone called.

“We know there is a nuclear power plant and some houses to the west.  To the north, it may be colder.  I don’t really know, but I’ve always heard that it’s colder when you go north.  To go east we’d have to go all the way around the City, and I’m not sure what they may try.  So, we go south as soon as we have supplies.  Ready?”

A roar of approval.

“Let’s go!”

***

One year later

Two hundred and twenty-one people had left Thunberg-121.

Two days walk to the south, they had been fortunate enough to come across an abandoned town from the old times, which gave them tools, shelter, some medicines, and even some viable seeds for crops.  The Freedom Caucus disbanded, as Denver told the group, “you don’t need to be led by the noses.  Everyone here can see what we need to do.  It won’t be easy.  We have a lot of work to do.  The one promise we’ll make you all is this:  The fruits of your labor, everything you make, will belong to you.  No more ‘collective’ crap.  We’ll produce our own goods, and we’ll trade freely with one another.”

The year that followed was lean and spare, but now the colony was beginning to prosper.  Team Deere had formed first and was specializing in developing and growing grain and truck crops.  Team Wayne found wild cattle roaming the hills and captured some for breeding, so the colony would soon have meat.

Team Watts formed with three members who had worked on maintaining wiring in the City, and they were exploring ways to restore electrical power; a river nearby was a promising candidate for a small-scale hydroelectric setup.  Best of all, Helena’s Team Guttenberg had found the abandoned library and had scoured the town for any books that might prove useful, so the colony’s knowledge base was growing.

They named their community Freehold.

Best of all, Brietta Franklin had recently delivered the colony’s first new citizen.  “His name,” a grinning Roberto Franklin had announced, “is Benjamin.  Don’t ask his pronouns.  He is our son, and we will raise him to be a man.”

The pale, poorly nourished group that had left Thunberg-121 had transformed into lean, strong, capable adults.

There was just one disappointment, as Denver voiced to Helena one evening as they sat on the small concrete patio at the rear of the house they were restoring for themselves.  “I’m surprised we didn’t have more people come with us.  There were probably a quarter of a million people in Thunberg-121.  And most of them seemed content to just stay there.”

“That’s the thing about cages,” Helena offered.  She laid a hand on her stomach.  Her own baby was due soon.  The five members of Team Hippocrates were about to get their second chance to oversee a birth.  “They’re safe.  Lots of people don’t like to leave their comfort zones.”

“They’re slaves,” Denver objected.

“No.  They chose to stay.  We can’t feel bad for them.  They had a choice between a difficult freedom and a comfortable captivity.  They chose captivity.”

“It’s sad.  It’s disappointing.”

Helena leaned over and kissed Denver.  “We’re here.  Our child will grow up here.  Let them choose captivity.  We chose freedom.”

The next day at midday, Freehold was handed a surprise, when forty people showed up at the outskirts and asked to talk to whoever was in charge.  “Nobody is really in charge,” they were told, but for lack of a better idea, they were taken to see Denver.  “After all,” they were told, “this was all his idea.”

“Wow,” Denver said when he walked to the edge of town to meet the group.  “Hi, everyone.  I’m Denver Paine.  Where are you all from?”

A small, thin woman stepped forward.  “I’m Georgetta G-333.  We’re from Thunberg-108.  We broke out two weeks ago, and four days ago we came across a nomad who said there was a town here.  Is what he said true?  You’re all free people?  You all work only for yourselves?”

“It’s true.  It’s all true.”

“Can we stay here too?”

“That,” Denver smiled, “is up to you.  You’re free now.”

***

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order is rapidly fadin’

And the first one now

Will later be last

For the times they are a-changin’

About The Author

Animal

Animal

Semi-notorious local political gadfly and general pain in the ass. I’m firmly convinced that the Earth and all its inhabitants were placed here for my personal amusement and entertainment, and I comport myself accordingly. Vote Animal/STEVE SMITH 2024!

163 Comments

  1. Ownbestenemy

    I like to believe, even if generations of people have been subjugated for decades or even centuries, that eventually somewhere the spark of freedom will rise always. It is that spark that all authoritarians and dictators fear.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      I’m of the Andor persuasion (if you haven’t watched Andor, what the fuck are you doing with your life?)….

      There will be times when the struggle seems impossible. I know this already. Alone, unsure, dwarfed by the scale of the enemy. Remember this. Freedom is a pure idea. It occurs spontaneously and without instruction. Random acts of insurrection are occurring constantly throughout the galaxy. There are whole armies, battalions that have no idea that they’ve already enlisted in the cause. Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward. And then remember this. The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that. And know this, the day will come when all these skirmishes and battles, these moments of defiance will have flooded the banks of the Empire’s authority and then there will be one too many. One single thing will break the siege. Remember this. Try.

      By that I mean to suggest that freedom is the default in nature. It’s authoritarianism that and oppression that are unnatural and forced. And the nature of force, it’s brittle and weak. Every act against the system, no matter how small, is yet another in the tide fighting oppression. Every time someone goes against the system in even the smallest of ways is another move away from oppression.

      What we see in our modern culture is panic by the oppressors, and real power doesn’t panic. Panic is based in fear, just as our government overlords.

      • Sean

        Panic? A LOL.

        They’re stealing elections right in front of us.

        They’re embezzling money right in front of us.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Under the near full cover of massive amounts of propaganda and pointing out squirrels to send the populace on sociopath-political wild goose chases. They’re not stealing, so far as the smothering blanket of narrative is concerned. They’re saving democracy, and making those poor startups whole.

        It’s not that people are okay with open theft of elections and funds, at least 1/2 are convinced that it isn’t happening because the Cathedral kicks out propaganda on high 24 hours a day in its bid to retain control. Real power doesn’t have to rely on continuous and ongoing propaganda, along with show trials and various other methods of obfuscation.

      • kinnath

        (if you haven’t watched Andor, what the fuck are you doing with your life?)

        I refuse to give Disney a single fucking penny.

      • Plisade

        I’d quit my Disney+ subscription but recently resubscribed following a visit to Hollywood Studios (my wife’s spring break request). The Star Wars area was built like a star wars movie city scene. Walking through there was a “show” in which an imperial officer took to a stage with a couple of storm troopers. He was like a comedian, with a pre-scripted speech, but mostly he ad-libbed with the crowd. The whole thing was very anti-government. He satired the authoritarian state and government’s promises to care for all if we’d only give up our freedoms.

        Twas interesting coming from Disney. My dad’s take: they know who butters their bread, so they somewhat cater to them, while at the same time trying to indoctrinate future generations to love the authoritarian state.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Watch anyone’s Disneyland videos in the new Star Wars area…I get its for the movie tie in…but actively having around ‘storm troopers’ randomly stopping people to see papers and playfully ‘arrest’ them is a bit….too much conditioning for me even if in jest. As adults we can see what it is, but these little children will grow up and be in that situation and think back to their childhood and say “oh ya, I am supposed to just do this”.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I think that’s fair.

        But that it is produced by Disney does not change the message of the art itself, which is overwhelmingly anti-authoritarianism.

      • kinnath

        I’ve seen many positive reviews of Andor. I expect that I would enjoy it. I just need to find a freebie deal to have Disney+ plus long enough to watch Andor and then quit.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Fair.

        As a note, it’s, by far, the most libertarian treatise in TV form I’ve seen. It’s incredibly powerful and on point.

        That’s not to say they won’t shit all over it in season 2, but the message of season 1 is overtly pro-freedom.

      • Penguin

        That’s good to know. I will keep that in mind if I regain access. The arguably most libertarian show previously having been Firefly by leftist Joss Whedon was slightly amusing for the irony, Perhaps the Disney creatives aren’t entirely certain of what they have created, except that it’s ‘anti-Nazi’ (which they are seemingly correct about, for once).

      • kinnath

        We know how Andor ends.

      • UnCivilServant

        It was all in the head of an autistic teenager staring at a snow globe?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Penguin:

        I would say it’s more libertarian than Firefly. Especially with how the “general attitudes” of people are portrayed. The loathing of those not on board with the empire, in the very same ways the DC circuit shits all over flyover country, is a very powerful tool in the storyline.

        I get that it’s a Disney production, but it’s absolutely worth watching, despite what brought it to be.

      • Penguin

        I refuse to give Disney a single fucking penny.

        This is a good statement and should be enough, but for me, there’s also the fact that I don’t have a working TV. It’s this box on my lap and Tubi, or else nothing. Looking forward to RJ’s summation of free channels.

        Animal – excellent story. Freedom will always seek to find a way, as will it’s enemies seek to find a way to kill it. The description of the vast majority ignoring a chance to be free was disturbingly familiar.

      • R.J.

        RJ’s summation:
        No pressure.

      • Penguin

        RJ: not sure how to read that. I thought you were going to do that article, but if not, I certainly am in no position to complain or kvetch. Also, hadn’t seen Sorority Babes at the Slime-Ball Bowlerama in something like 30 years, so thx for that.

      • Nephilium

        R.J.:

        I’m sure you’re aware, but Plex has a deal with Crackle, and has their shows/movies available in the Plex application.

      • R.J.

        Crackle was bought by a Christian group, so it has a great selection of religious movies and cartoons. That was wrong in the linked article. I am trying to strike a line in the sand and say “this is it!” So people can talk in the comments. Hopefully I finish this weekend.

      • Rebel Scum

        And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.

        *Meanders through the halls of Congress*

      • Sean

        Enjoy your politically motivated imprisonment!

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Do you not think that, in the long term, their reaction to tHe InSuRrEcShUn hasn’t pushed the overall movement towards freedom forwards?

        Yes. Those individuals are being fucked. But it’s also afforded a glimpse to the absurd lengths the cathedral must go through. Nonstop propaganda. Massive psyop campaigns. Withholding evidence. All of this is now in the open, and lots of people who were fooled, no longer are. That more widespread knowledge advances freedom, even under the shadow of show trials fit for banana republics.

        I think everyone understands that something is amiss. We simply can’t agree on what that is, and the more the cathedral must go to great lengths to retain their control, the more people become wise to its antics.

        To keep it Star Wars related, Leia was right when she told Tarkin that the more he tightens his grip, the more star systems will slip through his fingers. We just haven’t reached critical mass yet socially.

      • Rebel Scum

        All of this is now in the open, and lots of people who were fooled, no longer are.

        I hope so.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        By that I mean to suggest that freedom is the default in nature. It’s authoritarianism that and oppression that are unnatural and forced. And the nature of force, it’s brittle and weak.

        I’m not really following this. Freedom is most definitely not the default in nature. Most social animals have developed some sort of hierarchical structure. That order may be rigid beyond the dreams of the most totalitarian believer (think hive insects) or loose and flexible.

        Humans are no different except that our nature is brutal beyond anything else in the animal kingdom. To steal from Jordan Peterson, we live in a balance of order and chaos. The extreme end of order leads to authoritarianism and the extreme end of chaos leads to Mad Max. There are natural tendencies to move towards the middle. Not towards freedom, which most people shun, but towards a mix of order and a chaos. I think of freedom as giving people the choice of the degree of order/chaos they want to live within. Many will voluntarily choose a totalitarian state. Others, like most/everyone here, would prefer as little authority as possible to allow a basic level of order, Most will fall somewhere between these two poles. The United States was supposed to give American citizens 50 options of different governing levels to pick from. That’s been mostly wiped by the Feds.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’m not really following this. Freedom is most definitely not the default in nature. Most social animals have developed some sort of hierarchical structure.

        If most social animals *have developed* a structure, it’s means the default is no structure. But they’ve discovered that a certain amount or type of structure is what benefits them most.

        Especially humans. We developed the structure we needed first, which was survival/safety. Then we developed structures of enrichment (both financially and spiritually).

        I think also to conflate freedom with chaos is a misnomer. It can be chaotic, but even 2 wild and crazy guys can agree that trading with one another is mutually beneficial.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’m not conflating freedom with chaos. I’m saying freedom is being able to choose your preferred ratio of order:chaos. Many people prefer a strong level of order. Look at the existence of HOAs in areas where they are not required by law. For some people, having federal, state, and local authority isn’t enough. They actually seek out and voluntarily pay for a 4th level of authority at the microlevel to govern their lives. I find the idea of HOAs vile, but I’d still count that as freedom if people who live within an HOA voluntarily chose it as their preference.

        Freedom is scary and most people aren’t for it. Most liberals, conservatives, and independents desire a strong level of order, and more importantly, want to impose that preferred order on everyone else. Freedom is the dream of a select few. Which is why Glibs is a very small but tight knit community of freedom believers.

  2. Sean

    Wait, wait, wait…

    We can’t have happy endings around here.

  3. Not Adahn

    Wha? A Happy ending?

    Of course, since the nomads know about Freehold now how long until the raiders come to seize the guzzoline?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thus starts the cycle once more…loosely banded communities of similar goals seek out to form pacts to protect that community and right back into forming a government, hopefully seeking to be more perfect that the last.

  4. Tundra

    Nice close, Animal!

    I’d like to believe that 10 percent among us want freedom.

    Thanks for a great story (again).

    • Rat on a train

      optimist!

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’d like to see a brochure for the velvet handcuffs option first.

      • UnCivilServant

        “You have to sign it before you can find out what’s in it.”

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      I think that all of us want freedom. It’s just that many of have been fooled into not knowing what freedom is.

    • Sean

      Blocked due to my ad blocker. Probably for the best anyway.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Why not take a high colonic with Clorox while you’re at it?

      Jesus, people are stupid.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I’ve been known to huff a little Lysol once in a while. It’s a cleaner high.

      • Raven Nation

        Oooh, a pun in response to a Swiss posting. Gutsy!

      • Nephilium

        Would you sign a Pledge to avoid this in the future?

      • Raven Nation

        ?

      • Nephilium

        Raven Nation,

        I was attempting to continue the puns, as Pledge is another cleaning agent.

      • Raven Nation

        Neph:

        Well that’s an embarrassing miss on my part

      • Michael Malaise

        These puns are like Liquid Gold.

    • EvilSheldon

      That really sounds like an excellent way to experience the joys of internal bleeding…

    • Rebel Scum

      And these people criticized testicle tanning.

    • Penguin

      Anal ozone therapy? Won’t you get acid rain in your butt?

      • Nephilium

        No. You need that to avoid getting skin cancer when you’re sunning your taint.

  5. Fourscore

    Thanks Animal, I hope it ain’t over.

    If they shut off the power to T’berg there will be an uprising. It ain’t over in France yet. Some people aren’t ready for change.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Helena’s response was best. We cannot force freedom on those that do not choose it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        But we can eat the ones who want to stay in cages.

        Darwin approved.

  6. Mojeaux

    Fun story, Animal!

    Also, in case you didn’t see it, from books thread:

    I was looking for a specific quote to start [my LIW project] off, and found the seed-wheat taking incident.

    Pa actually went there to buy some. Almanzo denied having the wheat, but Pa took it out of the wall and then insisted on paying for it. They settled on 25c, then Almanzo invited him to have pancakes.

    • Mojeaux

      I didn’t remember the buying part, either.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m confused with regards to the events described.

      Was this Alamanzo hiding wheat seeds in his walls? Why would he agree to sell after first denying its existance? How were they still on good enough terms to eat together, unless there was a poisoning in the near future?

      • Mojeaux

        With no snark intended, have you read the books?

        1. It was in The Long Winter.

        2. The town had been snowed under for months and everyone was starving because the trains couldn’t get through the snow.

        3. Yes, it was Almanzo hiding seed wheat in his walls.

        4. He only agreed to sell because Pa went to the wall, uncorked the wall and drained some of the grain into his bucket.

        5. They were still on good enough terms to eat together because they respected each other. Almanzo could respect that Pa was going to feed his family and Pa could respect that Almanzo was not going to charge him for the wheat but Pa insisted to pay. Also, Pa was starving and Almanzo (and his brother Royal) were not, and they knew that Pa would feed his family before he fed himself (respectable). So they fed him.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, I have never read the books in question.

        I guess I’m cynical about human nature beause in-context I’m all the more convinced it would not turn out that way and things would get ugly.

      • Mojeaux

        We can’t know if things really went that way because 1) the incident is told third-hand [Pa/Almanzo → Laura/Rose → us] and 2) even if it’s true, it’s a watered-down version suitable for children 8-10.

        What is demonstrates is the mutual respect and feeling of community between two respectable men (Animal argues the point against Pa) who wanted to do what’s right, and in the end, one of the series’s overarching themes is doing what’s right. The whole series is a philosophical morality tale.

      • Mojeaux

        It was also to demonstrate Pa’s sharp eye and cleverness that he was the only one who could tell Almanzo’s building measurements outside didn’t match the measurement of the room inside, and deduce what Almanzo had in his walls. I would posit that Almanzo was impressed by this cleverness.

      • UnCivilServant

        Now I’m wondering how much he lost to mice.

        And how much seed you need to plant a homestead-sized field.

      • Mojeaux

        As reported in the book, IIRC (because I’m not going to go get the book because soon I’m going to have a mountain of books on my desk), the void was 8 feet tall, 8 feet wide, and 2 feet deep.

      • Gender Traitor

        I haven’t read Pioneer Girl yet. Do you happen to know if this incident is mentioned in there?

      • Mojeaux

        Yes.

        As our supply of wheat became low, Pa used to go down to the Wilder boys place and get some of theirs. Wishing to save their seed if possible, they had boarded up their wheat bin, which was in one end of the room in which they lived, so that it looked like the end of the room and no one knew the wheat was there. ¶ They bored a hole through the boards into the wheat which they plugged with a piece of wood. When we had to have more wheat, Pa would pull the plug let the wheat run out into his bucket then[n] put the plug back. ¶ But soon the other supplies of wheat in town were used up and even if the Wilder boys had let their seed be used it would not have been enough.

        Then there’s a footnote on how that meshes with Laura’s telling of it, and the next footnote also points out that Almanzo and Royal were discussing their responsibility to the starving town. “‘Take Ingalls, there’s six in his family,’ Almanzo tells Royal. ‘You notice his eyes and how thin he was?'” So now that gives me an idea of how to structure my series, as a series of themes, such as “community,” or better, “community juxtaposed with self-sufficiency.”

      • Gender Traitor

        👍 Thank you!

    • Animal

      Well, that’s interesting. I had (obviously) forgotten the buying part of it as well. I will re-adjust my thinking on that incident.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I mentioned last week that I’m reading the books to the kids during bedtime. We’re in the middle of Plum Creek right now, when the grasshoppers/locusts destroyed all of the crops.

      I think I read them all as a kid (or maybe just half of them), so I am still rebuilding my understanding of Pa. At the moment feeling bad for the guy.

  7. Drake

    Nice ending. Freehold is a dream and reminds me of the Michael Z. Williamson book.

    As a kid learning the Book of Exodus in Sunday School, I didn’t understand some things that make perfect sense now. So many of Israelites who made it out of their relatively comfortable slavery into the wilderness wanted to immediately turn around and return to the safety of Egypt. Yep – most people care far more about comfort than freedom or their faith.

    Because of their cowardice, constant bitching, and lack of faith, they were ordered to stay out in the desert for 40 years (2 generations back then). When it came time to settle Canaan, the Israelites who showed up were a hardcore bunch of nomads who had been living in the wilderness as long as most of them could remember.

    • Mojeaux

      Yep – most people care far more about comfort than freedom or their faith.

      I’m not sure that most people are wired for freedom at all.

    • invisible finger

      “they were ordered to stay out in the desert for 40 years”

      That’s about how long the Fed has been lowering interest rates. Is it a coincidence or a metaphor that the 3 Fed Chairs that lowered rates – all the way to negative – were Jewish?

      • R C Dean

        ZeroHedge is over there, bub.

    • Tundra

      Thank you. That was very informative. I’m not sure I still have much of a grasp on the clusterfuck, but at least I’ve got some historical perspective.

    • Lackadaisical

      “Haven’t had a chance to read the morning links yet (will do when I get to work) –”

      Too true

  8. R.J.

    A great ending. Loved it!

  9. Swiss Servator

    ANIMAL FANS

    We have Animal material for Monday 1100’s all the way to July right now.

    • R.J.

      He’s a machine. A Robo-Animal.

      • Animal

        I’ve been on a ‘tween-projects writing jag.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wish I had the time to just write.

        But then I wouldn’t be able to keep myself in the manner to which I’m accustomed.

        🙁

      • R.J.

        Well done sir. I started the Honey Do list and have been visiting friends. My output tanked.

      • Swiss Servator

        I am grateful for the Glibflick every week!

    • Tundra

      Yeah, I dropped that in a dedthred. Absolutely astonishing.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Holy…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Achieved a higher altitude than most rocket startups.

      • dbleagle

        The second hit by the tire seems soul crushing.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, that was just mean. Scoreboarding is never OK.

      • Ownbestenemy

        For some reason, Ace Ventura just popped into my head and the tire was Finkle saying “white walls out Dan!”

    • Timeloose

      Trucks with shitty wheel spacers. I imagine this occurs often, as there is a lot more stress on the lugs.

      • Animal

        When I was a kid, the Old Man remonstrated with me for screwing around with the suspension of a ’72 Gran Torino I had (yeah, the same car from the Clint Eastwood movie of that name). He advised me that there was no way I was smarter than the automotive engineers who designed that car.

        That sunk in a few years later. I stick to factory specs.

    • Mojeaux

      You know, I started out my publishing jag with a very “man can control his own destiny” think, and by the time I got to my pirate novel (book 4), I had totally written/thought myself out of that thinking. Shit happens. That’s more than some bumper sticker snark. That’s real.

      Shit happens. People impose upon you accidentally, for their own self-interest, or with malice. Gaia gets pissy. Bam. Your life’s suddenly in the shitter.

      The guy in the truck whose tire fell off was lucky he didn’t get killed. His tire probably got someone else killed, yet it likely wasn’t his fault (i.e., I’m assuming he didn’t know he was driving a faulty vehicle). Now the truck driver is going to wish he were dead because life as he knows it is over.

      Shit happens.

      • kinnath

        Story says the guy in the Kia walked away from the accident.

      • Mojeaux

        I guess I should have RTFA.

      • Timeloose

        I believe it was the novel Ring World that had a character in it who had an unusual ability. She was thought to be statistically lucky by the aliens who put together the group to explore the Ring World. In fact she was found to have author control.

      • Timeloose

        Or that was how the author described how it was to write such a character.

      • Nephilium

        From memory, she was lucky, but the luck worked the way that evolution does. It’ll make sure you make it through, but maybe not the way you want or expected to.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Teela Brown. Yeah, it kind of went as a back and forth question, which made it interesting. If she was so lucky, then how did she end up on the expedition in the first place? All the other “lucky” people were “luckily” unavailable. And then the question was, lucky for who? Her? Her descendants? The species?

        I thought it was a cool idea that the experiment to create lucky humans was done by the Puppeteers because they noticed that humanity already seemed inherently lucky.

    • Rebel Scum

      This story is gaining traction.

      • Animal

        I’m already tired of it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It knocked me for a loop.

    • Michael Malaise

      The tire even came back for more.

  10. Rebel Scum

    Here we go…and see if you can find the twist…

    First responders in Tennessee are on the scene of a school shooting at a Nashville elementary school.

    Three students and three adults were killed in the attack, according to Vanderbilt Medical Center. Police say officers engaged with and killed the shooter, identified as a female who appeared to be teenager, carrying two “assault-type rifles” and a handgun.

    The female, who has yet to be identified, killed three students and three adults before being killed by police just before 10:30 a.m. local time.

    Police say the shooter entered the building through a side door before climbing stairs to the second floor, where she then opened fire.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The female was a transman?

      • Tundra

        Doesn’t it almost have to be the case? Peak 2023.

    • Sean

      I wonder who the biologist was that identified that shooter.

    • Raven Nation

      I predict twin narratives: (i) Guns are bad; (ii) while this is a tragedy, it’s a stark reminder of how some Americans feel themselves to be threatened by the intolerant rhetoric emerging from Christians.

      • EvilSheldon

        With my usual nod to the 48-hour rule:

        Rampage killings in the United States fall into two distinct categories – narcissistic tantrums, and terror attacks. Women perpetrators are almost always in the later category. It will be interesting to see how this one shakes out.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ugh..

      Someone harboring feelings of hate towards their former school?

    • invisible finger

      I blame the teachers unions. The easiest way to prevent school shootings is to get rid of compulsory schooling.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Compulsory school laws existed long before teachers unions.

    • Tundra

      Didn’t Sunset sign an EO last week? Funny how that works.

    • Gender Traitor

      She doesn’t like Mondays?

    • R C Dean

      “identified as a female”

      I guess they had a biologist at the school, or maybe at the police department?

      • Ownbestenemy

        If she is dead, how did she identify? Look at these people just othering.

  11. Certified Public Asshat

    Just paid $2.09 for dozen eggs at an Aldi. Are they still insanely high everywhere else?

    • Ownbestenemy

      You got a deal…still about $4 here in Vegas I believe.

    • invisible finger

      I saw $2.09 at Target last week.

      I almost bought but I got some free eggs straight from the hen’s orifice recently and I got more than I typically eat so I may have to clean ’em with bleach and refrigerate ’em.

    • The Hyperbole

      $2.29 in north central Ohio

    • R.J.

      In Texas: $2.79 for large eggs (not grade A) at Kroger. For grade A, it is $4.09.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    see if you can find the twist

    She was a proficient shooter?

  13. Rebel Scum

    You shake like a chihuahua when you talk.

    We’ve won some big victories for working families in Massachusetts and across the country, but there’s a lot more to do. So today I’m making it official: I’m running for re-election to keep up the fight.

  14. Nephilium

    Well, I’m apparently not on enough lists yet. New job just let me know that I cleared the background check.

    • kinnath

      Fall guy

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Mojeaux-

    I watched a movie last night called “Dodsworth” which featured a female lead every bit as childishly self-centered, petulant and repugnant as Scarlet O’Hara. Have you seen it?

    • Mojeaux

      I haven’t. Never even heard of it.

      This is where the beauty of remakes lies (see above discussion about the bane of remakes): I have found movies I loved that I never would have known about had I just been left to my own devices to find good movies. And in the wayback, they weren’t available for easy consumption anyway.

      For instance: I just finished watching a lovely remake of Nightmare Alley. Had I not googled, I would never have known it was a remake of a film noir in its golden period. Now, I like film noir, but haven’t done a deep dive of it and I find black’n’white movies to be somewhat jarring, so I’ll probably not look up the original.

      Ditto Born Yesterday. That came out in 1993, so there was no way I would have known it was a remake unless I’d thought to hit the microfiche at the library. I haven’t seen the original, and the remake was marginally okay; however, I found the movie profound and the pathetic Melanie Griffith character pathetic in the best sense, and it’s for one scene:

      Billie Dawn is at a cocktail party and she’s expected to be silent. However, she tries to make conversation and it goes about as well as you’d expect it to go with a ditzy, uneducated blonde showgirl sugar baby with a soft baby voice and a bunch of Washington movers and shakers. She learns her lesson and begins to listen to the cocktail chatter. Later, she approaches another character and asks her to explain a passage in Alexis de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America. The woman laughs and says, “Oh, honey. Nobody actually reads those books. They just know barely enough to pretend they do.” To me, that was eye-opening and profound because I never knew that, either. It brought “rich people” and cocktail party banter down a few notches in the intimidation factor.

      See also: Sabrina. Cute movie. Would’ve never known it had an original.

      I generally approve of remakes. My sticking points are, how long is too long to wait before making a remake? And how many Batman movies do we really need and why do they need to be so close together?

      • Gender Traitor

        By my count, there are four versions of A Star is Born, but they’re reasonably well spaced. That may be one that can stand to be redone for each generation. (I can’t comment on the merits – or lack thereof – of each version.)

      • UnCivilServant

        It usually takes longer than that for a nebula to collapse and start fusing.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        1937, good; not musical
        1954: very good, musical
        1970s: don’t know, haven’t seen
        Lady Gaga: ditto.

        So why am I chiming in?

        See also What Price Hollywood?

      • kinnath

        1970s: don’t know, haven’t seen

        A fine movie. Barbara Streisand and Kris Kristofferson.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I know OF it! Sheesh.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (Just as Babs was losing her sense of humor.)

      • Ted S.

        Five, if you count 1932’s What Price Hollywood as the original.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Shouldn’t you ask Ted that? And yes, horrid.

    • Ted S.

      Ruth Chatterton?

  16. The Late P Brooks

    The tire even came back for more.

    That was the best part.

    • R C Dean

      Of course, no pic of the deer. Good journalisming there.

      • Sean
      • R.J.

        Look at those catty, shitty comments.

    • Rebel Scum

      Oh, deer.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I would rather be old in this timeline than the one I will be old in. This one you just shake your head and tell Tammy to fuck off. Mine might be starving and telling stories around a concealed barrel fire in smoldering cities.

      • Rebel Scum

        “The living will envy the dead.”

  17. dbleagle

    TMC showed “Sophie’s Choice” last night. I haven’t seen the movie in decades and forget much of the moral ambiguity in Sophie, and the ending.

    It is very much the anti-Marvel movie. (Plus it was Kevin Kline’s first big role.)

    • Gustave Lytton

      Been watching Charles coburn movies on one of the free Roku apps. Three Faces West is wonderful eveniwht the preachy. John Wayne is a blast in a supporting role, without the later Duke persona. Quite good looking.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I had no idea they re-made “born Yesterday.” The original is a great movie. Same actress is in “The Solid Gold Cadillac” which is also a great movie.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Judy Holliday? Wasn’t she funny. 44 is no age. It Should Happen to You features a young Jack Lemmon.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (She buys some billboard space and becomes famous.)

    • Rebel Scum

      Wait until they want to register your gas stove.

    • Drake

      He also vetoed the law of Supply and Demand.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I would do anything for low energy prices
      But I won’t do that
      No I won’t do that
      *cue music*

  19. Ownbestenemy

    From the story I enjoyed the team names. Did they gather those from their newfound fountain of knowledge from the library or taught those names in the 15-minute cities?

    • Animal

      I just fun with the team names, figuring if they were gleaning what they could from the library, they’d be learning about those names and their places in history.

  20. Rebel Scum

    And you guys will be in Red Square by Christmas.

    After russia began deconserving its T-54 tanks manufactured in late 1940s, they also decided to create a division of WWII era T-34s. The plan is to take them down from pedestals in towns and cities across the country.
    Abramses, Leopards and Challengers must be really scared now…

    • Animal

      When Ukraine starts recommissioning Panzer IVs, then things will really get interesting.

      • Rebel Scum

        The Russians will nazi that coming.

  21. Penguin

    Whadya mean I don’t support your system? I go when I have to.

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