At the end of 2021 as travel was starting to open up again, we were able to score some cheap tickets to Tahiti. To be more specific, we went to the island of Moorea, which is part of the Windward Islands, which in turn is part of the Society Islands along with the island of Tahiti, all of which is part of French Polynesia. But if you say Moorea or the Society Islands or the Windward Islands, you’ll usually get a blank look. If you say Tahiti, it’s something people will recognize, and they’ll look upon you with envy.
Anyway, to get back home we needed to take a COVID test shortly before departure. My wife had purchased a kit that contains two tests and a video consultation, one for her, one for me, so we should be good, right? Wrong. The second test in the kit was a backup in case the first test was bad, which meant I had to make a trip to one of the two pharmacies on the island to take my test. But how to get there? We’d already returned our rental car. We could take a bus, but they didn’t run very often. Instead I said, “Let’s rent e-bikes from that French hippy down in the shopping center and ride around the island, and we can stop at the pharmacy along the way.”
The next morning Pepe le Frog dropped the bikes off at our residence, and we started off around the island in a counterclockwise direction. On the first stretch of road we had crabs. They live in burrows on the side of the road, and they come out at night and get run over. Why did the crab cross the road? To get killed, I guess.
A little further down the road we passed Tiki Village, which is a venue that holds the equivalent of a luau with food and dance. They have displays from various parts of Polynesia, including a copy of Paul Gauguin’s home in the Marquesas, where the pervert liked to screw young Polynesian girls like a French Epstein but without the blackmail. Our guide was from the Marquesa Islands, and she informed us that, “Yes, our ancestors were cannibals.” Is there a vegetarian option for tonight’s meal?
We continued our way along the coast, stopping at a beach here and there. Eventually we came to the Protestant Temple of Papetoai, which is the oldest European building still in use in the South Pacific. As the descendant of French Huguenots, I made sure to stop in and take a look. Being in a mixed marriage, I’m Protestant and my wife is Catholic, I took joy in pointing out that the Protestant church was much nicer than the Catholic church down the road, which is usually not the case.
Around the southern end of the island and up the eastern shore we arrived at the pharmacy for my test. 15 minutes later I walked out with my diploma which came at a fraction of the price of the test kit we brought with us. If only we had known.
Shortly past the pharmacy we came to the Lagoonarium, which used to be a popular tourist attraction with a bar on a small island and snorkeling out on the coral. Due to some dispute the authorities destroyed the structures on the island. Rumor has it that one reason the Lagoonarium was closed over unpaid rent. Another rumor is that it was closed because they were feeding the fish and the sharks were getting aggressive. You can still hire a boat to take you out there for some snorkeling. Because of the strong currents you need to hang on to the ropes that are anchored in the water in order to drag yourself around the reef where you can see lots of fish and the occasional sharks and rays.
Past the Lagoonarium we continued on to the town of Vai’are, the biggest town on the island. This is where all the action is. It’s where the ferry lands, it’s the home of the only supermarket on the island, and it’s where the car rental places are. It’s also a trailhead for climbing to some of the ridges and peaks on the island. The locals don’t seem to believe in switchbacks, so when you are hiking uphill, you are really hiking uphill, but the views are worth it.
Beyond Vai’are is the only hill of the day. It’s not much of a hill but it gives a nice view across the water to the island of Tahiti and a view of one of those fancy on-the-water hotels that are too pricey for my tastes. As we were running low on water at the bottom of the hill we stopped at one of the roadside water stations, which are located periodically around the island for people who don’t have running water in their homes.
Around the golf course and more fancy resorts we made our way toward Cook’s Bay, the first of two large bays on the north side of the island. Cook’s Bay, coincidentally named for Captain Cook, was the filming location for the Mel Gibson/Anthony Hopkins movie, Bounty. Along the road are numerous stands where locals sell freshly caught fish and fruit. I’m not sure I’d trust the fish, since they are hanging out in the hot sun, but we purchased fruit a number of times during our stay. On the western edge of the bay is the Manutea Rum factory. It was tempting to stop in for a drink, but probably not a good idea while riding our bikes. Besides, we had some rum that we purchased earlier back at our house.
The second bay is Opunohu Bay on the north shore. We stopped here to hang out on the beach and take a swim to cool down. While there we saw Mark Zuckerberg’s yacht chugging into the bay though Zuck denies that it is his. According to the linked article the actual owner is a Russian oligarch, which means we might own it now. I wouldn’t be surprised if Hunter Biden has taken up residence.
At last we made it back to our residence, and we called the hippy to come pick up the bikes. It turns out that for the last several miles the front tire had a slow leak. I made the mistake of telling Pepe le Frog about it and he charged me extra for the flat. “Read ze petit print on ze contract zat you signed.” Merde. Bâtard. Whatever. It was time for happy hour at our hut. Time to pour some rum and head to the beach to watch the sunset.
So should you visit Tahiti? If you are planning a trip to Hawaii, consider Tahiti instead. It’s not that much further, and if you are lucky, it might not cost much more. Normally I don’t like vacations at the beach, at least not for very long. For one thing, as a pigmentally challenged person of pallor, I burn very quickly, especially at those latitudes. This time I managed to avoid that problem with vigilant use of shirts and hats and sunscreen. I also don’t care for crowds of tourists, but there were few on Moorea. It was very relaxing. The food was good. The swimming, the snorkeling, the hiking, the kayaking and the biking were great. I’d definitely go again.
Speak, brother!
Sounds like you had a good time, JR. Good to hear.
Great report, JR!
Awesome. My college girlfriend was out there a lot for research, as she is a marine biologist. One thing she said was that all of the locals drank Budweiser, as that was the “import”, but all the grad students drank the local beer.
UC Berkeley has some kind of research facility conveniently located near the rum factory.
Funny, she was at UCSB at the time. Cal would have been too much for her, socially.
Nice travelogue, JR. Pretty pictures as well. Sounds like a place to visit.
I’ll live vicariously via all you younger folks, safer and not so strenuous. I doubt that I could ride even an electric bike anymore.
My first bike ride from a couple weeks ago in ~30 years was sure eye-opening. My back is finally starting to recover from the tumble I took onto my ass.
About 5 years ago I fell off just getting on the bike, never moved an inch.
Aw. There are some adaptations for those of us who aren’t so flexible or nimble anymore; I’ll be looking into those.
my dad is 82 and until recently walked four miles a day
but his knees are shot so doctors told him he could ride a bike
so he bought some 50 pound single-gear coaster brake POS
and pounds out 8 or 10 miles or so several times a week on it
if he has fallen, he hasn’t told me
On topic!
https://archive.is/I9Jti/6411a6777da88ed0650f9e7a80616ddaf756576d.jpg
NSFW.
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NSFW.
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NSFW.
https://archive.is/erzN6/45306607d5ff40d6ccb15afd072e2d7f7c6c2dd5.jpg
NSFW.
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NSFW.
Well I figure we will watch a town that never had pro sports will witness riots and burning cars after Vegas wins tonight.
They’re in ‘Destroy!’ mode tonight.
Sickens me…just cannot get over basically bribing the NHL with 1/2 billion to get a premade team. Even if 6 years later.
Didn’t they win the cup their first year of existence?
Ah, runner up. Which is beyond fucking ridiculous for an expansion team.
Like anything you never do it right the first time. I wouldn’t worry about a sports riot in Vegas. Certainly nothing on the strip. The casino owners would have the cops crush any rioters on the strip.
You haven’t been to Vegas recently. It’s not like the old days. 16k+ inside arena with probably another 4k on the strip in bars, outside arena…
I predict stupidity
7-2 too little too late.
Lol
I thought that was only when Philly wins in Philly.
So, rare because Philly goes decades without a winner.
Try living in Minnesoda territory.
WNBA doesn’t count.
You’re damn right it doesn’t count.
‘Try living in Minnesoda’
Never.
Also, that spelling now looks correct to me, and totally how I pronounce it anyway.
I feel for the Pittsburgh Pirates fans from 1993 to 2012.
Ugh. I’d rather see the Mighty Ducks win or the Sharks
Flipped over, saw the score, flipped back*. Seriously?
*To DVR footy. Collingwood v Melbourne. Huge match and my team just lost the lead. 😡
Sensed suckage, fast-forwarded to the end, caught a rare loss.
Oh well my team is still #1.
Fortunately the Ducks haven’t been Mighty in a long time.
Also, excellent read JR! Thanks for this
MS – I wasn’t very familiar with Tate either till recently- got one take on him from Blocked & Reported – a little biased – but now Mark Geragos’ firm is representing him IIRC – if you look up the Reasonable Doubt podcast page on YouTube, he’s discussed the case in a number of episodes.
Also Rat-onna-shinkansen – I think you’re the only glib who can represent us and vote for Matt Strickland for VA senate to smash the system, I think the primary closes on the 20th – so keep us posted.
He is running in the 27th. I’m in the 4th.
Rip treat Williams. Also cormac McCarthy.
I always confuse Treat Williams with that guy that was in last few years of Happy Days.
Nobody mentioned the only role I remember him from – DB Cooper.
He’s one of those actors whose name I hear, and somehow by osmosis understand he’s a character actor, and yet, do not seem to remember him in anything. So I went to his wiki and I can honestly say I have never seen one fucking thing he’s been in.
Wut? I thought Mark Harmon was DB Cooper?
No, Mark was Ted Bundy.
DB Cooper
Watch The Ritz.
Callback to Moje:
“Well. I mean, you can’t serve if you’re in jail,”
I don’t think there are any legal impediments to doing so. In some ways, I think the optimal outcome (in the, these are the two biggest middle fingers on the planet and they’re both for you, sense), would be for him to be convicted, win, get sworn in, in jail, pardon himself, and then come to DC with absolutely nothing but vengeance on his mind and zip, zero, nada fucks to give. The Nero for D.C.
Optimal outcomes are rare but maybe we will be lucky
I’d settle for him winning from jail and the federal government at a standstill until his release.
Trump’s life expectancy is around eight more years
eight years ago he was a clown, a reality show host riding down a sinking fund as old as the Yukon gold rush
now he’s been president and remains the undisputed king of his side of the culture wars
wonder what he’ll pull off in these next eight years
I just want him to go away somehow he can’t/won’t be in the running at all.
From your lips to every and any god’s ears.
This is true, one way or another he won’t win this time, even if they have to up the shenanigans to 11, JFK style.
I’m scared for our country, more because his enemies have so much power rather than because he’s bad for the country on his own. The deep state is real, and it’s more powerful than all our traditions including the elected government and the Constitution.
Also, if even half of the indictment is real, Trump is a total buffoon.
My wife wanted to go to Hawaii for our 30th anniversary next year, but she’s changed her mind. Now she wants to go to Japan.
It’s a fair bit further, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to cost more. Ahh, well… YOLO, right?
An eating and onsen tour of Japan would be a great time. Throw in a night at the sumo wrestling and some temples and that sounds like a blast. Have fun if you go.
You left out the best part.
https://youtu.be/RdWdOVsjL5Y
Heheh, his wife might have some objections to that, but I guess one of those soapland baths would be worth a visit if you were dirty.
Afternoon at sumo.
There is a show called sanctuary on Netflix about sumo, is freaking great. My sister is in Japan now, I’ll have to ask if she plans to see any sumo.
Japan is a major haul, especially from the East Coast, but I’d really love to go back.
You’ll love it, I suspect.
Isn’t Hawaii super expensive too?
Might as well do something really cool at that point.
I remember taking a direct flight from Dulles to Narita. It took about 14 hours. My wife is flying from Los Angeles to Manila which is also about 14 hours. The Pacific is big.
Great travelogue, JR. I love posts like this.
Did you drink any Tahitian Treat while you were there?
Oh man! A blast from the past! I used to love that stuff when I was a yute. My mom was a health food crazy person so we never had soda in the house. But on special occasions it was my sugar bomb of choice. I’ll bet I couldn’t drink one now at gunpoint.
Good travelogue JR. I’ve long been fascinated with Polynesia, but have yet to go anywhere besides Maui and the Big Island. Tonga or Samoa or The Windwards all are intriguing. The Polynesians managed the greatest sailing exploration in the history of humanity by what they did settling every habitable island in a triangle from New Zealand to Hawaii to Easter Island. That’s 10,000 square miles of open ocean in canoes, with only the stars for guides. Anyone who is interested in that history should check out the book Sea People, a really great history of the settlement and people of Polynesia.
My mom’s caregiver is from Tonga so I’ve considered going there, but all the pictures I’ve seen look pretty dull. Some of the atolls in French Polynesia look interesting for maybe a day or two. The Marquesas look interesting too, but it’s a 4 hour flight from Tahiti.
The Cook Islands are supposed to be very nice, great snorkeling and diving. I dig both those and just lazing around and swimming on awesome beaches and leisurely strolls around places that are far flung and then a cocktail or two and listening to waves crash. I spent a lot of time traveling and could spend a lot more.
I am nearly finished with Medical Police. If you were a fan of Children’s Hospital, you will love. The entire cast is in at least one episode. Jon Hamm even has a cameo.
Having said all that, I’m a little freaked out by tonight’s episode. The show was released in 2020. I assume it was shot in 2019. Tonight it was revealed the CDC director created a virus released in 5 cities around the world in order to get Congress to take the idea of a pandemic seriously. The director wanted more funding. The virus he unleashed could be easily controlled and he estimated a total death toll in the hundreds.
Because he fixed the problem so easily, he didn’t get more funding. He was enraged. He needed to do more research on developing more dangerous viruses so he would have a cure if another worldwide virus struck. I think the creators of Children’s Hospital must have gotten drunk in a bar with Peter Daszak and Tony Fauci.
Great travel story. Many mahalos. I was so impressed by your tale that I already spoke to a few friends that I am planning on sailing with to Polynesia. We decided to put Moorea on the definite visit list.
That sunset photo is gorgeous!!
Thanks for the write up .
Late to the party, but thanks JR!
It never even occurred to me to visit Tahiti but it looks like my kind of place!
Excellent pics.
Get up Glibs. Make it a great day.
🌞☕
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rZwSqX6J5hs
🎶🎶
Are you actually this cheerful, or do you pretend?
I am a little bit of both while fully black pilled.
life is complicated.
He’s got guns and steaks, what’s not to be happy about?
It’s sorta like this.
🙂
I hated that movie. I don’t know why I finished watching it.
Good morning, Sean, U, ‘bodru, and Lack!
*waves*
I’m up, I’m up…
Coffee + A.M. dry practice.
Blood pressure is a dumb test, unless you’re doing continuous monitoring it seems like a measure that can be influenced too easily.
The immediate BP check is why I usually drive to the doctor’s office even though it’s literally right around the corner from my house.
I’ve decided that it’s driving which causes my BP to be high at the Dr office.
So, no golf on checkup days?
Boo. Rough crowd this morning.
Aww, we shouldn’t boo puns. Let’s handle this the fair way.
Too early to tee up a pun thread no?
Nah, I’m sure the glibs who are here will chip in.
Never fear. Swiss will be here to iron this out.
Okay definitely on par with this crowd.
The very fact that someone’s at the doctor probably for a not good reason and that you’re about to be poked and prodded and asked personal questions just about guarantees your BP will be jacked up.
Reminds me of taking a polygraph. “This machine measures indicators of stress. Your job depends on passing this test. Try to remain calm.”
“No problem. I am not Soviet Spy, am american as apple cake.”
One of the vendors I work with has an open job posting for basically the technical work I do with their product. I’m trying to figure out if the law would prosecute me for jumping ship even though I’ve not had anything to do with procurement from this vendor for several years, and the posting was neither directed at me nor brought to my attention in any way shape or form. I’m not part of the privileged class, so I have to treat ethics laws seriously.
Does your employment agreement include a clause forbidding you to take a job with one of your vendors? That would be weird; I am now and have been in the past subject to limitations on taking gigs with competitors, but I don’t think that would apply here.
It’s not a contract term, it’s in the public officers law dealing with corruption. You know, those laws only enforced against the little guys and the disfavored.
Huh. So it might be corrupt for an admin to go work for a vendor (Microsoft?), but it’s totes OK for the governor’s spouse to have a piece of a huge contract to build a new football stadium. This is how the law works, right?
Yup.
Don’t they make you go through training on that?
It’s as clear as mud.
Happens all the time, I think you’d be fine.
Worth checking with a local attorney specializing in labor law? Might be familiar with the sordid details specific to state employees.
lawyers are expensive.
Yeah, that’s the trouble. And probably not a good idea to ask HR. Or to communicate with them in any manner unless forced to do so.
Mornin’, reprobates!
Morning. Guess I was wrong. Vegas just celebrated and didn’t go stupid in the streets
Clearly not a major metropolis, there’s work to be done.
They must not have enough pride in their city to destroy some of it.
Good morning, ‘patzie and OBE! Congrats on the Cup win, OBE.
*spits* I ain’t no Knights fan. Otherwise…morning!
Power testing at one of our sites. Seems systems that should be on a critical circuit are not. Also weird setup anyway as the system will shut itself down after 12 minutes if no commerical or engine generator kicks on.
It is programmed to use the battery backup only as a means to soft shutdown. Normally our radars can run about an hour or so on batteries. Just remember though, we will eventually move all these to utilize unicorn farts and pixie dust.
How big is the battery bank that can keep your radars up for an hour?
Quite large. Typical radar sites have a 60-100 KVA system in place
What’s that in physical volume? Van, semi, aircraft hanger?
Newer systems? Two racks depending on how many parallel battery cabinets.
Some I’ve seen take up half a room.
This discussion only reminded me that I’ve got a blister on my thumb that I suspect came from handling the compromised batteries from my home UPS. I didn’t put on gloves until I saw the cracks, so I suspect something got on my hand.
I suspect it’s because I didn’t have dedicated battery-handling gloves.
No battery-handling gloves?
*puts on fainting gloves, staggers to fainting couch*
Our terminal radar has a 480v 160-200KVA system in place.