HOW THE WEEK WENT

NewWife and I snuck off to Nashville.  Georgia fans were kinda little bitches screaming yeah or nay over trivial details on the way to rolling over Vandy:  maybe show some confidence and just relax . . and have a couple of Bears while you’re waiting for destiny to reveal itself.  This is my review of Jackalope Bearwalker.

Duke ain’t 21st,

but they punked NC State and are UP to 16th.  Fuck me.

Oregon State ain’t 16,

but they handled UCLA; we wait.

North Carolina ain’t 17th,

but they outscored Miami and keep moving up.

Utah ain’t 12th

but beat Cal by 20 and bounced up to 14th; maybe I should have cashed them in last week.

Washington State ain’t 23d,

got erased in Pullman by Arizona, and are now unranked.

UCLA ain’t 24th,

but they’re hanging at 25th even after losing at Corvalis.

 

BIG MISS INCUBATOR

Florida State sure as shit ain’t 4th,

or so I thought:  they annihilated Syracuse.

Oklahoma ain’t 18th ,

or so I thought.  They took the week off and got passed to make room for Washington.

Washington sure as shit ain’t 8th,

or so I thought, but, I had mused:  Oregon should tell us something.  Well, it was a great game, so great that NewWife, native to Eugene and born to Washingtonians, slept right through it, Vandy having wrung the last erg of reserves right out of her.  I dozed but saw enough to now say Awesome F-ing Game (unless you believe in defense); seriously, they both were great, but I feel bad for any Duck who played his ass off and feels like the game wasn’t decided on the field.

Michigan ain’t 2d,

but they bulldozed Indiana for a third blow-out in a row.

 

 

NEWLY OVER-RATED

Louisville ain’t 14th, so they got doubled by Pittsburgh on the way to falling to 21st.

Missouri ain’t 20th.  They’ll get schooled soon.

RECENT NEWS IN STUPID

There are not nine twelve eleven ten teams better than Alabama:  watch this spot.

Kansas lost at Stillwater and is now unranked.

 

EVEN MORE USELESS OPINIONS

best one-loss team:  Bama

best two-loss team:  LSU (keep trying, Irish!)

best three-loss team:  Texas A&M

best four-loss team:  Texas Tech (see below)

best five-loss team:  Arkansas (really, Lachowsky:  they’re better than Lubbock, even)

best six-loss team:  Vandy (and you can get Jackalope Bearwalker from their concessions)

best seven-loss team:  SE Lousiana (hanging tough!)

 

 SPECIAL PRIME SECTION

Colorado ain’t 22d

    • they best CSU by 15? won in 2OT; we rate this prediction SomeWhat True
    • lose to Oregon by 13?  lost by 36, and are now unranked; we rate this prediction Super True; we rate Colorado formerly over-rated
    • lose to USC by 18?  lost by 7; we rate this prediction SomeWhat True
    • lose to ASU by 2?  won by 3; we rate this prediction Missed it by That Much
    • win over Stanford by 11?  we rate this one Shouldn’t Have Gone to Bed at the Half
    • lose to UCLA by 10?
    • then lose to Oregon St by 7?
    • then edge Arizona by 3?
    • then lose in Pullman by 10?
    • then lose to UU by 9?

 

 

TOLD’JA SO INVENTORY

we wish to hear their names no more

Tulane ain’t 24th

Colorado ain’t 22d

Texas ain’t 3d

Miami ain’t 20th

Florida shouldn’t be ranked at all

Missouri shouldn’t be ranked at all

Fresno shouldn’t be ranked at all

Ole Miss shouldn’t have dropped five spots for losing to Bama

Washington State ain’t 23d

Louisville ain’t 14th

Kansas lost at Stillwater and is now unranked

 

Jackalope Bearwalker is sweet, but, for a Guinness guy, it’s better than slapping back Ultras.