IFLA: The “Ringing” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 1

by | Jun 1, 2025 | IFLA | 103 comments

The ringing in this case is referring to the constant chiming of IMs as the fab recovery team keeps making “please run my wafer next! It’s really important!” requests. However, since I don’t want sexual favors from any of them and there have been no tokens of appreciation left on my desk, I am strictly adhering to the Standard Priority List. You’d think people this smart should be able to figure out how to corrupt a system.

The weeks begins… poorly. An uptick in violence and the death of love. Sometime in the next day or two there’s a change in power. Definitely before the end of Wednesday. Assuming your spouse survived this and you’re still into them, Thursday is a good date night.

Gemini: Knight of Coins reversed – Inertia, idleness, stagnation, placidity, discouragement, carelessness.

Cancer: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.

Leo: 6 of Wands – Victory, great news, hope.

Virgo: 6 of Swords reversed – Declaration, confession, publicity.

Libra: Justice – It pretty much means “justice.”

Scorpio: 7 of Swords reversed – Good advice, counsel, instruction, slander, babbling.

Sagittarius: The Moon reversed – Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.

Capricorn: Queen of Wands reversed – Opposition, jealousy, deceit, infidelity.

Aquarius: Temperance – Like Justice, this is one of the literal description cards.

Pisces: The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place. 

Aries: King of Swords – Judgment, power, command, authority, law, government officials.

Taurus: The blank card – I can never tell if I drew this card reversed or not.

It’s just adorable watching a kid discover “Cash for Clunkers.”

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

103 Comments

  1. Toxteth O'Grady

    Oh, I can’t bear to watch that.

    Sorry I slept through the family law chat. I would buy all you divorcés and divorcées all the mimosas or Marys or whatever brunch-y drinks you liked.

  2. juris imprudent

    Judgment, power, command, authority, law, government officials. and Opposition, jealousy, deceit, infidelity.

    Well this figures to be an interesting week around house Imprudent.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The Moon reversed – Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.

    Same old same old.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    It’s just adorable watching a kid discover “Cash for Clunkers.”

    The Democrats pine for a candidate as smart and clean as Obama.

    • Tres Cool

      And so well spoken.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Yes, let’s adopt Europe’s policies that didn’t even work there. They’ll know what to do. 🙄

      • Tres Cool

        Molly Ringwald really takes the wrinkles out of my love-sausage.

  5. slumbrew

    Gemini: Knight of Coins reversed – Inertia, idleness, stagnation, placidity, discouragement, carelessness.

    That is a shitty birthday horoscope.

  6. Sean

    “ Cancer: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.”

    I guess I should change the sheets.

    • slumbrew

      Sweet, sweet relations.

  7. Gustave Lytton

    Ded thred: straff is still getting fucked over by the exchange rate if it’s priced in USD. Reminds me I need to place another Amazon JP order before it craters. Post covid shipping sucks balls.

  8. rhywun

    King of Swords

    I like the sound of that.

    • Sean

      🤔

    • R.J.

      Careful. Don’t cut yourself waving that thing around.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Local rag is running a sob story about repeat criminals self deporting as “Oregon couple”. If I live in Mexico illegally for years, I’m still not a Oaxacan man. Fuck the quislings. At this point, a few of them need hanging as collaborators with invaders.

    • Suthenboy

      During my drive to town today I listened to CBS news. Holy shit, one sob story after another like that. The poor, fine, upstanding felons that are being driven out of the country by evil nazis. The MSM has lost all credibility and they think polishing that turd more furiously is going to work. I guess they could try putting glitter on it.

      They still cant figure out why they lost.

    • slumbrew

      That is why firearm possession should be limited to professionals!

      • Ted S.

        Ask Ashli Babbitt’s how that works out.

      • DrOtto

        Babbitt’s? Now I think you’re trolling us.

      • Ted S.

        Lousy auto-correct….

      • Spudalicious

        Did Teds* have a stroke?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, it seems his phone has lice.

    • EvilSheldon

      Hmm? I’ve been on the record for some time now – open carry is silly and irresponsible.

      Criminals are not going to be deterred by seeing your gun. They’ve seen guns before.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No, this was your “I told you so”, from you not directed towards you.

      • EvilSheldon

        Oh, okay. “I told you so!”

    • Tres Cool

      From the channel 12 front page: “Founder of Price Hill Chili, Sam Beltsos, dies at 88”

      Sorry but Camp Washington > Skyline > Price Hill > Empress > Dixie > Gold Star.

      • The Hyperbole

        Actual chili > all of the above.

      • Tres Cool

        Notice that they called it chili, not me.
        The ones I listed are hot dog toppings. Chili-esque, perhaps. But really a Mediterranean sauce.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Good news

    Ukraine carried out a massive drone strike at airbases across Russia on Sunday, claiming to have destroyed dozens of aircraft. There are also indications that Russia’s Northern Fleet headquarters, home of Russian nuclear submarines, was attacked as well. Overall, the attack was clearly aimed at Russia’s most prized strategic aerial assets, which cannot be replaced quickly in any manner and doing so at all would be extremely expensive.

    “The Security Service of Ukraine is conducting a large-scale special operation to destroy bomber aircraft in the rear of the Russian Federation,” the Ukrainian Armed Forces General Staff stated on Telegram. “SBU drones have hit more than 40 aircraft, including A-50, Tu-95 and Tu-22 M3, causing damage of over $2 billion.”

    The operation, codenamed “Web,” targeted four key Russian airbases: Belaya, Diaghilevo, Olenya and Ivanovo, the Kyiv Post reported.

    There was no immediate response from Russian officials.

    That should help facilitate the peace process.

    • rhywun

      I wonder how much we paid for that.

      • grrizzly

        All of it. The only question is how much the US was involved in sharing targeting information.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Funny how this happened right after Trump was being “snubbed”.

  11. Suthenboy

    News no one seems to be talking about: Argentina’s economy is still improving dramatically. Inflation went from 25.5% now down to 2.4%.
    The left is spinning it as the improvement is taking place on the backs of the poor….of whom there are now significantly fewer of.
    I remember the Reagan years being spun as a time of ‘greed’.

    Prosperity bad. Up is down.

    • rhywun

      I bet the rich are getting richer too which is NOT FAIR.

    • SDF-7

      “Deregulation never works! Only Expert Government can guide us out of recessions!”

      (bonus points: I can’t remember where I read it a few days back — but some article actually said with a freakin’ straight face that FDR taking us off the gold standard and causing massive (for the time) inflation got us out of the Depression… yeah, just ignore the years of stagnation until having to first arm the world, then fight the world then rebuild the world with the main substantive industrial base (and from what I understand, milking the Brits dry out of their gold reserves to do it), folks… sure it was the Great Wise Leader of Bureaucrats that Saved The Nation… )

  12. Q Continuum

    RE: The video.

    It’s so precious watching the yootz get all cynical and libertarian-ish.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Muh First Amendment!

    The 2025 class president of MIT was barred from attending her graduation ceremony on Friday after delivering a speech denouncing the war in Gaza at a commencement event the day before.

    Megha Vemuri told CNN that after her speech, the university’s senior leadership informed her she was not allowed to attend Friday’s commencement ceremony and was barred from campus until the event concluded.

    Vemuri will still receive her degree, an MIT spokesperson told CNN.

    “What I am dealing with right now is absolutely nothing compared to the people of Palestine, and I’d take on much more if it meant helping their cause,” Vemuri told CNN Sunday.

    There are flights leaving every day for the middle east, precious. Get on one.

    • rhywun

      The KGB ratfuckers who started this shit must be laughing themselves stupid in hell.

    • dbleagle

      I agree. She needs to travel to a country (one way) ruled by Islamic principles. Let her see how Iranian Mullahs, HAMAS, the Taliban, Boko Harem, etc. care about female empowerment and rights. I am sure she will be happy to have the men in power take any food they want by implicit or explicit threats of rape or death. Threats that all too often are acted upon.

      Her MIT gender ideology classes should prove to be valuable.

    • Suthenboy

      “…helping their cause…”
      Has anyone carefully articulated what that cause is?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    “I am, however, disappointed that MIT’s officials massively overstepped their roles to punish me without merit or due process, with no indication of any specific policy broken,” she added, calling MIT’s purported support of free speech hypocritical.

    Hamas would never resort to arbitrary or capricious discipline.

    • dbleagle

      Hmmm the “submit your speech to us for review and approval before the event” wasn’t enough of a hint. I would expect better from a Windward Community College dropout much less than an MIT Class president.

      • Suthenboy

        It’s classical Alinsky strategy: Do something egregious and when your opponent responds exactly as expected feign injury and point fingers. I am surprised she isn’t rolling around on the ground holding her knee.
        Fuck her. They should strike her name from their books as if she was never there.

    • Tres Cool

      “What I am dealing with right now is absolutely nothing compared to the people of Palestine, and I’d take on much more if it meant helping their cause,” Vemuri told CNN Sunday.”

      Here’s your 1-way ticket to Gaza. Go help them.

  15. UnCivilServant

    @Not Adahn – Is there a place where the information from new member orientation at KFGC is written down for reference by members to referesh their memories? I’ve realized I’ve forgotten a lot of small procedural things and don’t want to pester people with a bunch of questions.

    • Not Adahn

      Not that I know of. Having said that, if you contact someone in charge, they’ll probably be delighted that people are trying to do things properly rather than asking for forgiveness after the fact.

  16. DrOtto

    Just saw a news report about a possible Aloha Snackbar attack on a pro-Israeli march in CO.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Fuck. Per CNN: “Multiple people set on fire in antisemitic attack in Colorado”
      Suspect in custody after he reportedly set people on fire in Boulder, Colorado, in an antisemitic attack.

      • The reported attack took place at the Boulder Run for Their Lives event, the Anti-Defamation League said on social media. The weekly gathering of Jewish community members is meant to support the hostages taken during the October 7 attacks in Israel in 2023.

      I’d like to think Americans will fight against this shit, swindled from up-high, *much* more readily than the self-castrated Brits and Euros. They lop one of their nuts off themselves, but being such gracious hosts -and always with perfectly ironic cutlery(!) – give their guests the righteous honor of severing the remaining testicle. (Must be humble w foreign cultures!)

      I do like to think that, and I don’t think I’m being ridiculous. However, I’m aware most Americans -and people in general- are more happy being told what to do. (Safer; less effort; supposed stability, eh? Sigh.)

      • rhywun

        I’d like to think Americans will fight against this shit,

        Some might. Others will celebrate it.

      • Evan from Evansville

        “Others will celebrate it.”

        *honest sigh* About 40% of the population would be thrilled if/ when Trump is *successfully* assassinated. I thought the balls on the man to rise up after a DAMN near miss was, gotta use a word I hate, inspiring. Dad’s a man’s man and I foolishly thought that’d be a powerful sight for him. But the Useful Idiot brigade’ll never understand until the boot meets *their* balls. (If then, even.)

        (Also, btw: what does the PPP acronym stand for? It’s in the Davos/ globalist vein, but I won’t embarrass myself with what it *could* stand for, but doesn’t. (I assume?..))

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Others will celebrate it.

        Taylor Lorenz’s bruised and battered bean lets out an exhausted sigh as it prepares itself for another night of nonstop flicking.

      • Tres Cool

        Just imagine all 5 beans of The View being flicked simultaneously.

    • UnCivilServant

      Boulder, CO – authorities have arrested a man by the name of Mohamad Soliman in connection with a possible terror attack on a group of Jews.

      Soliman was said to have dressed up as a landscaper when he threw Molotov cocktails at the group, burning several including children.

      tweet

      • Tres Cool

        CNN really needs to get themselves together. One day they’re telling me to hate Jews, and now Im supposed to feel sorry cause some muslim tried to make s’mores out of kids? Or since he was dressed as a landscaper, are they going to spin it that “Soliman self-identifies as mexican, and was protesting Trump’s deportation policy…”

        I’m confused.

      • Tres Cool

        “Soliman, who was yelling “Free Palestine” during the attack, was arrested at the scene without incident, according to the FBI and BPD.”

        A recent MIT grad?

      • J. Frank Parnell

        authorities have arrested a man by the name of Mohamad Soliman in connection with a possible terror attack on a group of Jews.

        Soliman, who was yelling “Free Palestine” during the attack

        So, motive unknown then. /NYT

    • Sean

      Tell me again what the Iranian’s won’t do with nukes.

    • slumbrew

      This is fine.

      • Plinker762

        From the bottom of the article “Meat is Meat” should be followed with “and a Man’s gotta eat.” Which of course triggers the response: “It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters!” Lets see in any GenXers get the references.

    • Plinker762

      Lame, the chickens are already decapitated. They are supposed to bite the heads off and swallow them.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Art is subjective Rhy. Who’s to say this isn’t as inspirational as the Sistine Chapel?

  17. Evan from Evansville

    Yoyo. Mini-Me picked up on my self-motivating phrase all on his own. I strongly strongly strongly approve. Thus begins my Friday and at 2pm I’ll have a 60hr break between shifts. Have a magical one, all.

    “Focus pocus!”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Disco is dead, bro. Long live…what are the kids listening to now…mumble rap?

      • Ted S.

        K-crap.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, Ted’S., Stinky, homey, and EfE!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • Tres Cool

        sup’

      • Gender Traitor

        How’s it going, homey?

      • UnCivilServant

        Cantakerous. I have no good reason to be, but my mood is pretty negative.

        I don’t want to deal with work, but I only took off Wednesday-Friday this week, so I’m in the office today.

        I miscalculated a payment by $1 so my Credit Union account is now at -$29. No sympathy for NSF fees, no matter how rarely I overdraw.

        I can’t manage to shake my unrealistic expectations of when I’ll get my amendment paperwork back, so I keep checking the mailbox, even on a Sunday when I know there’s no delivery.

        I didn’t have time to water the plants this morning before I left. The soil was splotchy, so it will be dry by the time I get back to the house.

        I don’t want to fight the retail madness Thursday in hopes of correcting the error of not letting me preorder my Switch 2. But at this point, it’s not looking like I’ve got a choice. Though my prediction of “September” remains for when I’ll manage to acquire one the way things are going.

        I’m probably going to spend my time off trying to get things done around the house. I predict failure. I always fail.

      • Tres Cool

        Drove up here only to go to C-bus for a couple of days. But I have office shit to deal with this morning.
        At least decent weather. Until Thursday when I have a test in Akron…

      • Ted S.

        I thought it was last week that you were dealing with shit.

      • UnCivilServant

        Ted, ted, ted, there’s more than one type of shit.

      • Tres Cool

        That was literal. Actual shit. However, they take the shit, remove the water (Ill send a pic to GT), then the sludge (aka “cake”) is incinerated using a fluid-bed unit. In an attempt to seem green, the facility uses the heat from the incinerator exhaust to make steam; it goes to a turbine to make electricity to offset what the facility buys. It was a PR stunt. I asked an operator once how much electric they produce and his answer was “none- the things never work so we bypass the boiler”.

    • SDF-7

      The UK will appreciate the knife crime statistic, no doubt.

      “Crazed meth-head” is my first gut reaction.

  18. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Beau Knott

      No kidding. When my younger brother worked doing psychological testing and evaluation for schools, he was instructed not to use the word ‘retarded’. Instead, he should use ‘cognitively delayed’.
      He told a loving parent her child was cognitively delayed. She broke down in tears and hugged him, telling him they were so grateful, they thought the child might be retarded.
      Word magic is all this is, and is a profound disservice to those in need of truth and honesty.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Calling a person with an 80 IQ a retard is a bit of an asshole move, granted, but using it to describe people who really should know better and stupid ideas is fine as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like the word brings something to manifest that isn’t already there, it’s a descriptor.

      • Ted S.

        “Cognitively delayed” seems particularly nasty, since it gives the false hope that the person will catch up.

      • WTF

        “Cognitively impaired” would seem more accurate.

    • Tres Cool

      Whats the big deal? I heard that there’s plenty of retards living totally kick ass lives.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        My wife was tarded, she’s the head of a government agency now.

      • Tres Cool

        Ex Mrs-Cool is a highly functioning retard. She teaches high school.

    • Ted S.

      I’m surprised they consider “redneck” a slur. That’s normally one of the last acceptable forms of bigotry.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Wait until they nullify it due to Russian interference that totally happened but also totally didn’t happen.

  19. Not Adahn

    Good morning!

    I have been sending a series of increasingly pointed email to a vendor over the past week only to discover that they’ve been responding since the very beginning, just that Office has been deciding they’re spammers.

    • SDF-7

      White lists should be more common… Of course, spoofing would just explode (more than it has), I suppose.

      The truly security conscious among us would say “signed email with certificate verification!” — but personally, that never seems to be anything but a pain to set up — and it breaks within weeks. Yay.

      And morning all — guess Sloopy going to California to race threw off some scheduling? Or I’m typing this and the morning post posted because that’s just my luck…

  20. Not Adahn

    The FSE is from Luxembourg. I know that’s it’s typically a dumb thing to say “you’re from [country] do you know…” but in the case of Luxembourg, that’s not that stupid of a question.

    However, I don’t know anyone else from Luxembourg to inquire about.

  21. juris imprudent

    Awfully quiet in here this morning.

    • Sean

      Shhhh…we’re huntin wabbits…