Holeee cow! How did I not know of this thing before now? Midget Agent 00! In the Philippines! During the disco era! I can barely take the excitement…
Yes, you heard me right. This is a mashup of James Bond movie bits, including the famous jetpack. All performed by a midget stuntman/actor. Everyone is in disco wear, since it is the Philippines in 1981. There really is not much more to tell you other than he has to rescue a kidnapped scientist and stop a madman from taking over the world. There are twists and turns, the film is fun to watch and even more fun to spring on unsuspecting friends or horrified progressives.
Our leading man tonight is Weng Weng, who was 2’9″ tall, was trained in martial arts and did his own stunts. He starred in at least four movies including a trilogy of the original Agent 00, followed up by For Your Height Only and The Impossible Kid. Then he was in what may have been a soft porn entitled The Cute… The Sexy n’ The Tiny. Of these, only tonight’s film and The Impossible Kid remain. His other films were lost. I’ll say they are lost for now. Somebody will find them in an attic in 2040. He was in other films before the Agent 00 trilogy, with supporting roles, etc… but Agent 00 was a huge breakthrough. You’ll see why when you watch the sequel tonight. He is a tiny kung fu champ, karate chopping Filipino men in the ballsacks, flying around in a tiny Bond style jetpack, wooing women and generally being amazing. My only sadness is that some of his films are currently missing. His life, like many midgets was cut short in his thirties. He lived hard on film, until he couldn’t perform any more. Just seems a tragedy to lose some of that work. Intrigued? There is a documentary about his life here (Euroweenie guilt trigger warning).
So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! If you hate this film, well, there is no pleasing you. Talk about your garden instead. I will show… Something next week. Just not sure what. I was delighted to find this early on after… cleansing the TUBI queue. The strategy is working! New films are appearing!
Bonus Content
Here’s a question: Could this film be made today? I think Peter Dinklage could make it. But he would drain all the humor from it and make it dry and sexless as old toast. Weng Weng knew he was knee high and the jokes would come flying. And he knew at some point he would be making out with a (comparatively large) lady. And if he didn’t like you, Wham! Karate chop to the ‘nads! I don’t think Dinklage could do any of that with a sense of humor. What do you say?
Here’s an extra short! I’ve had my eye on this guy. I played another of his shorts a year ago. Explore his YouTube channel if you want something to put the creep on your progressive family members. Eat Zee Bugs, citizen! We were soo close to that fate. Look at Britain. Most of Aze Alter’s work applies to them right now.
*hits play*
That rifle is bigger than him.
In one of the scenes, he did shoot a rifle and it knocked him to the ground. I don’t think that was acting.
There are twists and turns, the film is fun to watch and even more fun to spring on unsuspecting friends or horrified progressives.
Excellent. Diving in.
Why would Columbus shoot Lola? Can’t make money from a dead hooker.
Dinklage was great in one of the funniest movies I have ever seen but yeah, he does seem to have lost his sense of humor somewhere along the way.
He was in both Death At A Funeral’s
He is great in that. He is also good in The Station Agent, an overlooked film about trains, and such.
A hand-cuff tie?
That’s the craziest gun I’ve ever seen.
LOLOOLOLOL
Whoa. The budget is a problem for a spy agency.
You know you want a flying UFO fedora hat.
Everyone does.
Nice! It’s about to rain and drop from 99 to 74 degrees. I am heading to the patio to watch.
63° here… the most pleasant last week of August that I can remember in decades.
I’m watching the US Open and I just recall every other year at this time I’m sweating my balls off in disgusting heat and humidity.
I’m kind of curious as to why all the advertising LEDs swirling around the courts are focused around sexual persuasions. Well, one particular sexual persuasion.
As a faggot I lean more “leave me alone” that “celebrate me goddammit!” but maybe I’m weird that way.
Is tennis particularly big in the gay community?
No.
“Could this film be made today? I think Peter Dinklage could make it. But he would drain all the humor from it and make it dry and sexless as old toast”
Like the Iron Law that every headline that asks a question can be answered with “No”, “It can’t be made today” is always bullshit ,of course it could be made, people make shitty, controversial movies all the time. They may not get the accolades/views that one thinks they should, but they can and are being made. As for Dinklage, while I gather he’s said some stupid shit about midgets and acting but he did a great job bringing “The Thicket” to the small screen, and for that I’ll give him a pass.
I do these things to annoy you.
Mission accomplished!
They could make it. They’d just lose the essence and if they were controversial, it would be in a completely different way.
I have to drop off and will finish this tomorrow. Thanks RJ!
Welcome! See you another time.
Kewl
*judo chops play button*
Nice cars, cute girls… +1
Hapless baddies are the best baddies.
There’s a lot of those in this film.
OO Weng. License to Kill.
He better score with Lola.
I would like a pair of those glasses.
I promise to use them responsibly.
Never bring a kampilan to a gunfight.
“That little Weng…”
The dialogue is killing me.
“You’re like a little potato” was my favorite. Followed by “Sex is like tequila.”
Comparing 00 Weng to a potato is just mean. And if sex is like tequila, what is swallowing the worm? So many questions…
Eye have to agree.
Maybe having guards with targets on their chests wasn’t the best idea?
Jeez it’s ridiculous. He’s murdered at least 50 guys.
IKR?
I’m jealous. 00 Weng is dancing with Lola, and all of her naughty bits are at the perfect height. For him.
When they are toes to toes his nose is in it, when they are nose to nose his toes are in it
That’s quality. Have you thought about a poetry corner post?
Thanks RJ 🙂
Tonight I learned Filipino stunt men have usually resilient testicles.
We really don’t have stats on whether any of those stunt men went on to make children.
True.
Knife boots always make me think of that Spider Man villain, the Tarantula.
Makes me think of Jethro Bodine, who made knife boots for his spy outfit.
Not Rosa Klebb’s stiletto?
This sounds ridiculous: “The Dragon Lives Again (1977) Bruce Lee is sent to Hell where he enlists Popeye the Sailor Man to battle James Bond, the Man With No Name, Emmanuelle, and Dracula.”
OMG! You saw it too!
The next film that was going to play after this is “The Dragon Lives Again.”
I quote Tubi: “Bruce Lee is sent to hell where he enlists Popeye the Sailor Man to battle James Bond, the Man with No Name, Emmanuelle, and Dracula.”
Should this be next weeks’ film, sight unseen?
Does this mean I have psychic powers?
Yep. Clearly it must be next weeks’ film. It’s a sign. It’s too ridiculous to skip.
I wonder how legally they used Popeye the Sailor Man and James Bond. The next three aren’t that specific, and Bram Stoker has been dead for long time.
One of many reviews on IMDB:
9
/10
Unintentional Genius in The Dragon Lives Again
This movie was purchased by a friend of mine and myself as a 4-movie set. Long story short, we only got two. But one of them was this. The money was well spent.
If you see a 2 DVD set entitled ‘Return of the Dragon Pack,’ I highly recommend it for bad movie buffs and/or kung fu movie buffs with a light-hearted nature.
The kung fu is good, just highly over planned and wrapped around hilariously stupid ‘special moves.’ To see Bruce Liang punch a guy in the balls after shouting ‘Fist of Fury’ is worth millions.
Some of the plot decisions- well, all of them, are a bit strange. James Bond isn’t that great. Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman is far more capable against ‘Bruce Lee.’ To put it simply, if you throw all your logic out the window- i.e. Dracula walking around in the sun, you’ll have a great time. And if you want to convince your friends, it has pointless and random female nudity too.
“it has pointless and random female nudity”
He would have grabbed more of an audience if he started with that. Editing is a dying art.
Sir! Mr. Man! Please stop shooting the shrubberies. Around here, we like bush(es).
Is that some kind of euphemism for a kick in the sack from a midget?
This begs the question… how does one earn a black belt in ball kicking?
“I don’t know you. Give me my purse back” – Bobby Hill
It works like this. You get your white belt for the first two balls. Then each belt the square number of balls of the last belt, 4, 16, etc. until you hit black belt. If you submit and odd number, you have to start over.
Mercury is a nice car.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCJZij74-J0
Dinklage would demand CGI midgets since he got his. Isn’t that why the most recent Snow White dumped midgets from actual roles and instead CGI’d them. That and CGIs don’t have a union.
So they settled on CGI actors…? I was rooting for that interim cast of woke caricatures that looked like an assortment of randos who might have been urban-camping outside the studio that day.
I thought that’s what eventually happened. If I’m being honest, I haven’t/won’t see it because I won’t knowingly watch anything Disney anymore though.
As it turns out those were bandits. I haven’t seen the movie. The clips I’ve seen are horrible. Probably give children nightmares.
Bedtime for Bonzo.
I’ll be up in like four hours. I really hope Cutie Colleague makes a return, though I doubt that shall pass.
The Car Search has begun. Fuck me. ($19, same as min-wage, and all downtowns?)
I had a chat w folk in Carmel, IN. I expressed my desire to write and perform a Tight-5 stand-up bit. More, if folk are eager. A start’s a start, and that damn foot can be stubborn. I’m not sure where or how to start the lede/ opening bit. Hrm.
I can see Peter Dinklage as Mr. Giant.
With all the spray-n-pray at the end, this would have been a good entry in Bodycount Theater. I’ll have to guesstimate since I didn’t think to keep count.
1 good guy
1,169 bad guys
Just priced out a couple of items via Amazon Global store. 10-25% price increase in a day. Cue Trump version of “I did that” stickers.
For sure. I wonder how long before normies make the connection.
Maybe when they get their 100% duty + shipper broker fee bill on their latest Temu order? Refuse to pay, shipper sends unpaid customs fee to collections, and still don’t get the actual package?
I’m a bit pissed because two different retailers sat on orders and won’t hear before midnight. $60 in duty + another $60 in brokerage fees from the shippers (FedEx/UPS/DHL should be in the Oval Office right now sucking Trump’s cock in thanks).
Amazon slapping on the Trump Charge tariff fee was brilliant. Shouldn’t have bent the knee.
The problem isn’t “trans people” per se, although that’s a huge red flag. It’s the fact that there’s no vetting this class of people: no differentiating psychopaths from confused teenagers, no attempt to dissuade edge cases. Lefties don’t understand the problem they face. Their no-questions approach in embracing this contagion and shelving any notion of treating it as a disorder has created a huge stumbling block for tolerating it. Because now you have people with several dimensions of mental infirmity embracing the trans identity, and because of that, lefties can’t insist on treating the dimensions that ends up with a mass-murder event. They face this same issue with predators: they carved out a huge exception in sex-segregated spaces by permitting men to occupy women’s spaces “legitimately,” then proscribe any vetting of the people who embrace that rule. Of course predators are going to exploit it. But leftists can’t help themselves. They’re totalizing maximalists in their approach to what they consider good. If embracing “trans” identity is good, then embracing it no questions asked is even gooder. And if some women (and children) suffer the consequences, then it must be the goodest, because it’s a sacrifice leftists are willing to make.
I’m split between thinking they’re deliberately perverse in how they approach issues because problem-solving isn’t their goal, sowing division is, and thinking they really might be too dumb to understand how their problem-solving creates more problems. It’s the old communist riddle, isn’t it? (I suppose the groypers have the same conundrum, they think, about Jews.) Are they masters of spycraft and espionage and intrigue… or are they really shitty governors of the countries they inevitably end up ruining?
For example, if you want green energy to be a dominant actionable political platform, wouldn’t you insist on the most effective applications of that paradigm? Wouldn’t you embrace nuclear, even natgas as an improvement over coal, with wind and solar being second cousins that have their applications?
IF you want it. If you’re paid off by CCP instigators to push this shit, or you’re just a natural-born civilization-suicidalist westerner, you’d militate against those options. Because of course you don’t want EFFECTIVE decarbonization, you want effective “decolonization” masquerading as “green energy.” And so on. Do they care that police reforms, under the progressive aegis, end up with more minority murders?
You see why I’m flummoxed? Are they stupid or are they clever?
“Stupid or liar?” covers so many things.
That’s the point.
It’s either you agree with everything we say or we destroy you. There is no middle ground, no room for nuance, or argument of any kind.
Ridicule those of us who call this Marxism but it is what it is.
Sorry I didn’t respond to your email about this, I got a lot of shit going on right now. I was honored that you shared it with me.
So, In todays bout of self-sabotage, I finished Space Marine 2.
Short review – It’s disappointing.
Longer reviews – They forgot to include the fun. The visuals were done fantastically, but their gameplay focus was clearly on the monetixable multiplayer instead of the single player game. Thus the campaign was short, and mediocre. The “cinematic” moments are more of an irritant instead of the spectacle intended. The combat system was not well designed, with too many reactions that pretend they’re not just quick time events. For half the game, it felt like my weapons did nothing and I shouldn’t bother. There were times when I cried out “It does NOTHING!” when using some of these weapons. Thankfully, an exception to this is the Thunder Hammer, but they screwed up the introduction. Rather than telling you “you get the hammer this mission” or have it appear as an option on the loadout screen and let the player get excited in anticipation, they mark the melee weapons as “not available” and you find out you have it only after the protracted landing sequence.
I have no interest in any of the other game modes, but I did find another infuriating aspect. The same in-game currency is used for unlocking both skills and cosmetics. They don’t sell this (yet) but I have not figured out how you acquire it.
It’s a shame, the first game was insanely fun.
Morning, all. Clocked in and chill duties this morn.
UPDATE: Cutie Colleague is on the shift. *Ponders*
“George. We dine.”
Morning.
Happy Friday. Have a Gliboliscious day!
🤭🕺🏻💃
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP_c9DYzqHU
🎶🎶
🤔
Good morning!
It’s the last work day of the corporate fiscal year. Why does corporate fiscal year end in August? It must be an Irish thing.
Happy new year!
Good morning, Sean, U, EfE, Ted’S., Roat, homey, Yusef, and T&T!
How goes?
So far so good! It’s in the mid 50s here and cloudy, so a bit cool to be outside yet. Yesterday’s housework achievement: bathtub and bathroom window. Today’s housework challenge: the microwave. 😳
How are you?
It was drizzling on my drive into the office. I’ve got a change at noon, and a project meeting at one. I wish I could start the weekend early, but can’t reschedule.
suh’ fam
yo whats goody yo
Sup home slice?
Tall coffee at quarter to 4!
Cutie confirmed. Long, straight hair. No poison frog in sight. (Well. Other colleagues do, yes. 90% w ink. I’m pleased I’m unmarked. (And she.))
Fun window polish and practice, if she’s in the mood.
Two hours in and lunch at 9. May it keep shuffling w swiftness. Show some hustle, yo.
I didn’t know you wanted Taylor Swiftness at work.
Im spending the next three days helping a certain MLW move out of her long time domicle. Blackrock has been buying apt. Buildings, tossing the renters out then doing renovations and doubling rents at least.
Welcome to San Diego
/Fuckers
Last week I was able to reserve the last (state park or army CoE) RV site within a 3 hour radius of home for this weekend.
Weather is somewhat behaving with 80s and isolated storms predicted
Excellent. Have a good camping experience!
Good to see you about!
I was away for a while are we not doing links anymore?
Time to start burning the place down!
The rest of us are.
According to the site Dashboard, they JUST got posted.