Thursday Afternoon Links of RETVRN

by | Aug 7, 2025 | Daily Links | 134 comments

I am resuming this column after an hiatus of just over four months. Yes, everything is, and was, fine. I just needed some time away from the outrage, bile, and spleen. Much bike riding, hiking, pew-pew, boom-boom (the sort that involves skeet), thwock-thwock, and happy times with my wonderful boyfriend. Big thanks to Mojeaux and Raven Nation for filling-in for me.

THE WAR AGAINST BEAUTY, EUROPEAN EDITION: Hot on the high heels of the Sydney Sweeney kerfuffle, comes this outrage. We can’t celebrate anything beautiful because it makes the uggos sad. We can’t have anything that heterosexual men like, because they are heterosexual men and they must be immiserated at every opportunity. Apparently lesbians were not consulted on their feelings about this. I love how on one hand the statue is decried as “ugly” and on the other hand “a man’s hot dream of what a woman should look like” (ignoring the fishy bits). As Sugar Free observed: “These sad fucks. Pride parades with naked guys with dildoes in their asses and some stone titties trigger them.”

FAIRFAX COUNTY INVESTIGATES WHETHER PUBLIC SCHOOL EMPLOYEES ARRANGED ABORTIONS FOR STUDENTS: Without parental notification or consent, of course. Fairfax County is a rich suburban county which serves as a bedroom community for Washington, DC.

CANADA LURING US MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS: “These healthcare professionals will help strengthen care delivery in our highest-need areas,” said Dr. James Wong, adding that nurses will be placed in emergency departments, cancer centers, and rural communities. Yeah, those nurses are going to love being assigned to isolated frozen shitholes like Yellowknife and Taloyoak. Nurse Practitioner Samantha Taylor, who moved from Seattle, shared, “Many American nurses I’ve spoken with are excited about the scope of practice in B.C. and the emphasis on preventive care. Preventative care like MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying), Samantha? “We’re seeing professionals who are drawn to B.C.’s public healthcare model and the opportunity to focus on patient-centered care rather than insurance paperwork. So they’re trading insurance paperwork for government paperwork. Nice. But I see other factors at work here. When they get tired of the cold, the French, and the bureacracy will we really want them back here once they’ve participated in MAID? This will also impede COVID lockdown/vax/masking tribunals by removing some of the people we most want to drag before said tribunals from US jurisdiction. On balance, though, we are better off without these ppl.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS WEBSITE DELETED PARTS OF THE CONSTITUTION (H/T SENSEI): While this would seem to be troubling, I have questions. Notice how the article leads you through the events to create the impression that this was done directly at the behest of the Bad Orange Man. I question whether this was a deliberate act of sabotage by LOC employees running a false flag operation. Remember all the legitimate non-DEI stuff that got yanked from DOD websites claiming that it was to comply with Trump’s anti-DEI EO? This has the same stench to it. Someone needs to dig deeper into this story. Lastly, why the fuck is the Library of Congress in any way an executive agency?

CRAZY CAT LADIES AND DECAPITATED SPERM: And that’s just the beginning of the parasitic horrors lurking in the litter box. One of the most persistent and dangerous myths foisted by the CCL crowd is putting the litter box outside when the cat goes missing; you know, to help kitty find its way home. Not only is that complete bullshit unsupported by any credible sources (I’ve looked, trying to give them the benefit of doubt), but actively endangers public health. And oh, how angry they get when you point that out.

VIKINGS PROPOSE FLOATING, MOLTEN SALT REACTORS: Copenhagen Atomics is developing a containerised molten salt reactor. Moderated with unpressurised heavy water, the reactor consumes nuclear waste while breeding new fuel from thorium. Small enough to allow for mass manufacturing and assembly line production, the reactor has an output of 100 MWt. Copenhagen Atomics’ goal is to deliver energy at a levelised cost of just EUR20 (USD23.5) per MWh.

NASA PLANS TO DEPLOY LUNAR NUCLEAR REACTOR BY 2030: Hooray, but I wish this wasn’t funded with tax dollars. Sure, solar works really well on the Moon since there is no atmosphere, at least in mid latitudes during the lunar day. Then there is that pesky moon dust which sticks to everything and degrades solar array performance over time.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkster, writer, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

134 Comments

  1. The Other Kevin

    I know that port-a-potty fire anywhere. Welcome back Tonio.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    The nagging fear that someone, somewhere, is having a good time.

  3. Sensei

    Preventative care like MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying), Samantha?

    Not the same as the Maid Cafe in the last article? Do they still call you goshujinsama?

    Thanks, (((Jarflax BTW. I was in a work meeting.

    • (((Jarflax

      I think the Maid Cafe would help you die if you asked nicely enough

  4. Pat

    I just needed some time away from the outrage, bile, and spleen.

    Not to mention all the links to topical news items.

  5. The Other Kevin

    I think that statue is beautiful. Sound like it was new? It looks like something a hundred or so years old.

    • UnCivilServant

      It looks like something a hundred or so years old.

      Really? It looks like concrete to me.

      • The Other Kevin

        I overlooked that. But the style is something you’d see mid to late 1800’s.

      • Pat

        While not a common medium for ancient statuary, concrete itself has been in common use for at least 2,500 years or so.

      • Threedoor

        China carved
        I wonder if the same people behind the awful MLK statue were behind it.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      No way tits that firm are over 100 years old.

      • Mad Scientist

        If they’re that firm at 100, just imagine how firm they were 80 years ago.

      • Aloysious

        Rock hard?

  6. DEG

    This will also impede COVID lockdown/vax/masking tribunals by removing some of the people we most want to drag before said tribunals from US jurisdiction.

    There won’t be any. Sadly.

  7. Pat

    Hot on the high heels of the Sydney Sweeney kerfuffle, comes this outrage.

    Remember kids, it’s the Christian fundies who are repressed relics of a bygone age and hate sex.

    • Suthenboy

      It is not about hating sex…the repression is about stomping on human faces. The sadistic people who do that will take whatever guise that facilitates their ability to do that. Cotton Mather….Andrea Dworkin….John Ashcroft….the anti-Sweeny crowd…the list goes on forever. Hatred born of envy, greed, pure sadism…it is all the same demon.

  8. UnCivilServant

    Did You Miss Me?

    I miss everyone who wanders off, as I fear they will decide to never return, and our numbers seem to be shrinking.

    • Fourscore

      Minnesota souls lost.

      Tundra for the most part

      Leap at the wheel

      ttyrant

      Enough about Palin

      The hunter guy that I don’t want to dox but I forgot his handle

      • Fourscore

        Those are tough shoes to fill but we can only do our best, which actually is pretty good.

        With the return of Jimbo, though he was never really lost

        PO Nick

        Me.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, UCS, that’s the one.

    • Animal

      (Disengages lurking device)
      Some of us are still here. Just mostly reading.
      (Lurking device re-engaged)

  9. EvilSheldon

    Much bike riding, hiking, pew-pew, boom-boom (the sort that involves skeet), thwock-thwock, and happy times with my wonderful boyfriend.”

    Would it be impolite to ask about the thwock-thwock?

    • slumbrew

      Skeet, skeet, skeet!

      • rhywun

        And-I-oop

    • SDF-7

      I assumed axe throwing competitions.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Throwing dildoes at (notional) sporting events

    • Tonio

      Would it be impolite to ask about the thwock-thwock?

      Archery. Old-school with a 55# recurve bow.

    • Aloysious

      Paddle… … ball.

  10. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    Dare I ask what thwok thwok is?

    • slumbrew

      Pickleball?

  11. UnCivilServant

    Carrying over my whining from last thread, I did go and spend $67.50 (sales tax 🙁 ) on the single most expensive slide transfer I’ve ever bought. My pile of shame now also has ten Space Wolf Gray Hunters in it.

    • UnCivilServant

      PS, it moved over cleanly first try, thanks to it being brand new.

      I’m letting the water dry a bit before applying some more MicroSol to smooth it to the contours of the shoulderpad.

      @Threedoor – Yes, patience is necessary to do this. If you had it, I’m sure you’d outpace me.

      • Threedoor

        I’m super patient at putting projects off.

      • Fourscore

        I had planned on doing something today but I see on the calendar that there’s another day scheduled. I can play catch up.

    • Threedoor

      I guess I don’t understand what a slide transfer is.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s a decal that you soak in water and slide off the paper and onto the model. They carry stuff too complicated for the average customer to freehand paint.

      • Threedoor

        Oh that makes sense.
        I was never good at those in my brief stent at trying to put together airplane models.

      • Threedoor

        Cool.

      • (((Jarflax

        Nice!

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      UCS, have you ever thought about making your own water slide decals? You can get the paper, and I am sure you know how to print the images.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve thought about it, but the big problem is that the stuff available retail are full letter/A4 sized sheets and I rarely need that much real estate.

  12. Pat

    FAIRFAX COUNTY INVESTIGATES WHETHER PUBLIC SCHOOL EMPLOYEES ARRANGED ABORTIONS FOR STUDENTS: Without parental notification or consent, of course.

    High school freshmen are, of course, more than capable of consenting to sex, particularly with midwit paraprofessionals in their 30s and 40s, as well as aborting the resultant love child clump of cells, and are fully qualified to vote. Just don’t let them near the tobacco, Truly, or Draft Kings – their fragile, underdeveloped minds aren’t ready for that kind of responsibility.

    • Suthenboy

      My instinct is that this is criminal.
      You cant have it both ways. Parents are responsible for kids then only parents can consent to that sort of thing.

      • juris imprudent

        We’re progressives, of course we can have it both ways anytime we want. You can’t hold us to just one standard, we have double that!

      • Rat on a train

        California wants to expand to non-parents without the parents’ consent.

    • Nephilium

      Don’t forget banning the internet pr0n as well!

    • invisible finger

      Banning abortion is like banning guns – its never gonna happen.

      Just hope for the best of both worlds: let the socialists kill their young and let the conservatives defend themselves against the socialists.

  13. Suthenboy

    Two words: John. Ashcroft.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I see your John Ashcroft and raise you one Edwin. Meese.

  14. Evan from Evansville

    I went to Fairfax in 2012 after I took Poppee (Dad’s dad) to a casino in North Carolina. I stayed with Katie, my high school ‘girlfriend,’ but she lived with her boyfriend, which I knew and nothing funny happened. (We fooled around plenty, or I did with her, back in the day. Glaring example, one of Three Biggies, of my being too dumb to realize what her vocal efforts to take it further meant. (I was really, really dumb. Naive. Take your pick. I am more Dad than my bro, and I think I got more of the Asperger’s characteristics than he did.))

    *Far more importantly,* I hung with my friend Krsto from Illinois that I was good friends with at IU. *HE* had become a Congressional intern of some sort for his local representative. He took me to the Capitol building and showed me around and where he worked. I really wish I remembered more of that, cuz that was pretty special, I s’pose.

    Speaking of, it’s my connection to the J6 folk, cuz I was also waved right on through.

    • The Other Kevin

      I didn’t date at all in high school. I have since found out since graduating there were 2 or 3 girls who were interested in me. Like you, I was completely clueless.

      If I could give my younger self advice on girls, I’d tell me to quit chasing girls that weren’t interested and just observe and find ones that WERE interested. Much better to date a 6 or 7 than pine over a 9 or 10.

      • Nephilium

        I dated a bit in high school. Go to the 10 year reunion and had several girls mention that they were interested in me back then. I reached out to a couple a week or two later, and they ghosted me, so it really was just like high school again! 🙂

      • (((Jarflax

        Interested in getting you to show interest is often what that means.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        If I could give my younger self advice on girls, I’d tell me to quit chasing girls that weren’t interested and just observe and find ones that WERE interested. Much better to date a 6 or 7 than pine over a 9 or 10.

        Yeah, I’ve been trying to give my son the same advice. It’s not even that he’s oblivious to the signs, he’s aware that a couple of girls are interested in him, it’s just that if she’s not [current crush] (who he’s usually also too nervous to actually talk to) then he has zero interest.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I dated a bit, and had long term girlfriends, in HS, but the one that caught me off guard was when a girl I was interested in, and she in me, back in the day told me, years later, “what was I gonna do with you, watch you read?”

        I did end up dating a chick I vaguely knew back then when I was almost 30. Cool, but, I really didn’t like being back in my hometown anyway, so it didn’t really go anywhere.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Copenhagen Atomics’ goal is to deliver energy at a levelised cost of just EUR20 (USD23.5) per MWh.

    Affordable reliable power?

    *hisses, backs into shadows*

    • Pat

      Yep. It’ll take the deaths of the current generation of Malthusian hucksters and the subsequent generation of their quasi-religious acolytes before any form of nuclear power generation will be socially palatable.

      • juris imprudent

        the deaths of the…

        Reminding me of the two vultures perched and the one saying “patience my ass…”.

      • Tonio

        “Malthusian hucksters.” I’m stealing that.

    • SDF-7

      My first thought was “Floating so the Greenies can’t superglue themselves to the perimeter..”

      Skimming the article though — I think the floating ones (hybrid gas / steam) are distinct from the thorium development. While they might end up doing it floating (being containerized should make that more feasible), I don’t think they’re intending it as it reads.

      I’d love to see mass produced, pre-regulation approved, preferably thorium micro-reactors for more independent sub-grids rather than the creaky cross-continent “Hope no one sneezes 500 miles away” model we have now, that’s for sure.

  16. Pat

    CRAZY CAT LADIES AND DECAPITATED SPERM: And that’s just the beginning of the parasitic horrors lurking in the litter box.

    Cats were domesticated, what, 5k or so years ago? And are typically associated with women, while dogs are ostensibly the companions of men. I’m not sure if we can blame the Children of Men doomsday male fertility scenario on cat shit just yet.

  17. R C Dean

    “Lastly, why the fuck is the Library of Congress in any way an executive agency?”

    Who else should it belong to? It’s not a judicial thing, or a legislative thing (despite the name). Those are the other options.

    • Suthenboy

      I have seen three articles on that. The tone of them, though they did not say it explicitly, was that this somehow was an attempt to actually change the law?
      I am not sure how that works nor why this event is significant. Something with zero substance as a presence to scream ‘OMB!’ ?
      In any case it doesnt matter.

    • (((Jarflax

      Congress appropriates funds and passes laws. The Executive executes those laws. Once a thing is created and funded it’s a matter for the Executive. Congress can abolish it, it can increase or decrease funding, it can change the laws governing it, but it cannot run the operation. This is a simple clear division, and it is reflected in the Constitutionally dictated form of, and rules governing, each branch.

      The Executive is a top down set up with a single President holding the entire Executive power because that is the obvious structure for the branch with responsibility for enforcing laws, directing military operations, and hiring staff. Responsibility and authority in balance, following a top down hierarchy where each level chooses, directs and is responsible for the level below. It is set up to be powerful in the moment in order to handle the aspects of Government that demand rapid, certain, responses to crisis, and not incidentally to have identifiable human beings who bear responsibility for those responses.

      Congress is a deliberative body, set up to avoid any individual having too much control over the legislative authority, and to theoretically give the States and Citizens representation in the process of setting the laws. It holds the greater, but slower portion of Governing authority. It determines what the laws will be which the executive implements, and has the right of approval of Executive appointments and international agreements. It is intentionally set up so that it acts slowly in order to limit the degree to which the rules of the nation can be rapidly changed in kneejerk response to crisis.

      That’s theory.

      Practice today is that rules are made by Administrative agencies Congress created, funds in continuing resolutions that deliberately avoid the necessary oversight and control of the purse, and then pretends are not Congress’ responsibility when the citizens become furious at the content of those rules. Meanwhile the President simultaneously issues executive orders that should in any sane world be laws Congress decides on, and is denied control over agencies that are entirely Presidential responsibility.

      This got way off topic, but it drives me nuts watching the mess we’ve let our republic become.

    • Rat on a train

      Congress has a few organizations under its direct control such as the Congressional Budget Office and Library of Congress.

      Library Organization
      An agency of the legislative branch of the U.S. government, the Library of Congress encompasses several integral service units, listed below.

  18. Evan from Evansville

    Welcome back, Tonio! Thanks for all your efforts, and I’m glad the respite was valuable.

    What’s your man do? (Professionally, I suppose. Do legal folk attract or repel each other? (Yes?))

  19. Evan from Evansville

    *Thhink Costanza praising Jerry’s jacket*

    I say this with a *staunch* history of heterosexuality. That statue’s tits are fabulous.

    • kinnath

      She’s the kind of a girl that makes the “News of the World”

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Everybody knows you can modify the Constitution by just leaving parts of it off when you write it down.

    • Suthenboy

      This. It is nonsense.

      • rhywun

        Perhaps the stupidest nonsense of the week.

    • EvilSheldon

      Just like you can overthrow the government by milling around the legislative chamber for a few hours.

      • Pat

        Bro, don’t make light. AOC was nearly spectral-raped to death in a different building a mile away.

      • juris imprudent

        overthrow the government by milling around seizing the Speaker’s lectern.

      • Nephilium

        Pat:

        I also heard that David Hogg survived a shooting on January 6th!

    • Rat on a train

      You can also add to it with a tweet.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    A debate has erupted in Denmark over the fate of a mermaid statue that is to be removed from public view after being decried as “ugly and pornographic” and “a man’s hot dream of what a woman should look like”.

    The solution, obviously, is to chisel her tits off and give her a penis. That’ll settle those heteronormies’ hash.

    • SDF-7

      What if they just paint her hair blue and give her a septum piercing? Then she can be a strong feminist who needs a bicycle like a fish needs a man or something….

      • Tonio

        Well, wouldn’t she naturally have kind of blue/green hair? /nerdboy

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Come to think about it, she does remind me of a Danish girl I once knew. Her nickname was Wild Fang, which she said translated to Wild Thing. I never got a chance to find out as I was already married.

    • SDF-7

      Plus — where are you going to find a licensed medical professional who is qualified to work on mermaids anyway? Tough to find a good sturgeon these days.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Just replace her nips with diamonds. That should be proper, and enough change to make it right!

  22. SDF-7

    Pride parades with naked guys with dildoes in their asses

    But enough about the WNBA’s fan base….

    • (((Jarflax

      That’s not the letter from the alphabet soup that watches the WNBA

    • Bobarian LMD

      Don’t take it for granite. Them are some gneiss tits.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      I would like to make a proposal. We need to start the Glibfund NGO, to raise money to have a sea green dildo planted between her breasts.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    She added: “It’s truly uplifting that many find the statue vulgar, unpoetic, and undesirable, because we’re suffocating in overbearing bodies in public space.”

    Needs more dragons. Or whatever Grendel was.

    • SDF-7

      Sounds like the statue is uplifting yet separating the populace. A real wonder.

      • Tonio

        ISWYDT

      • UnCivilServant

        The dragon only showed up in Act 3 after the death of Grendel and his Mother.

      • robc

        Legacy of Heorot is on my list of novels I would like to see turned into a TV show. There is room for expansion. And death. Lots and lots of death.

      • UnCivilServant

        “What can we update for a Modern Audience?” – TV Producer

    • Tonio

      Grendel was a Jötunn, roughly equivalent to a troll or giant.

      FWIW, my after dinner “read” these days is Seamus Heaney’s audiobook of his translation of Beowulf into Modern English. Highly recommend.

      • (((Jarflax

        Grendel’s mom liked a little cross species action apparently

      • Suthenboy

        Likely Neanderthals or Homo Erectus. Some other Hominid we haven’t found yet?

      • Mad Scientist

        EVEN STEVE SMITH HAVE ANCIENT RAPECESTORS.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      we’re suffocating in overbearing bodies in public space

      Preach it. I can barely go into a public space these days without suffocating, what with all the bodies and how overbearing they are and stuff.

  24. Pat

    Criminals who cross-dress can now avoid deportation

    Another week, another mad story from the immigration courts. According to the Telegraph, a 27-year-old Algerian criminal has been permitted to stay in Britain as a refugee because he describes himself as transgender.
     
    The man entered the UK in 2013, illegally. Citing the ‘situation’ in Algeria, he was given limited leave to remain as a refugee by UK authorities. Following a string of offences – including burglary, theft and battery – that landed him in jail, the Home Office issued a deportation order in 2022. He appealed, arguing that the fact he ‘was and is a transvestite and / or transgender’ made it too dangerous for him to return to Algeria. He also said that his father ‘threatened to kill him’.
     
    An immigration judge has agreed with this argument, ruling that his proclivity for dressing in women’s clothes and wearing makeup would draw ‘negative attention’ in Algeria, thus making him a refugee, worthy of ‘international protection’.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Couldn’t he just sign up for the Algerian women’s boxing team?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Looking at the picture of the statue, I assumed it was bronze and had been ineffectually vandalized.

    Silly me.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I always took Grendel to be a dragon, yeah

    Based on John Gardner’s excellent book of the same name, I took him to be vaguely hominid. An enormous rapacious vicious incredibly strong self aware hominid.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      And Beowulf was damn near a machine in that one. Great book, highly recommend.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    “Do naked female breasts have to have a specific academic shape and size to be allowed to appear in public?” she wrote.

    I’m more interested in why ostensibly enlightened people find the human form horrifying and repugnant.

    • Mad Scientist

      Simple. “Hers are prettier than mine! It’s not fair!”

      • Nephilium

        “Strange men never look at my chest and smile.”

    • (((Jarflax

      Look at the human form said ostensibly enlightened people have and you’ll understand

  28. Sean

    ꧁༺ 𝒲𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒯𝑜𝓃𝒾𝑜!༻꧂

  29. Raven Nation

    Denmark’s outrage is weird given that, when I was in Copenhagen some decades ago, you could barely go half-a-block without seeing a porn store with everything on full display facing the street.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ya and 18 year old me in Denmark…Queens Garden had more titties than a milk farm.

  30. J. Frank Parnell

    The mermaid is kinda mid, tbh.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Definitely no Sydney Sweeney.

  31. Aloysious

    I wondered what that burning sensation was.

    For a second I thought I had contracted Chlamydia.

    • R.J.

      Chlamydia will be contracted later tonight, when I post the Skinemax 3000 film , “Lion Girl.”

      • Aloysious

        Thanks for last weeeks movie. I liked it.

        Had to watch it Friday because I fell asleep almost before I got out of the shower.

      • R.J.

        It was a heck of a thing. I have seen it twice now. That’s enough for me. I caught all the allegories.

  32. Timeloose

    Welcome back Tonio!!!

    Here is some music released today in 1990.

    https://youtu.be/etviGf1uWlg

    Remember Groove is in the Heart!

    • Chipping Pioneer

      One does not build a city on rock and roll alone.

      • Sensei

        When your airplane becomes a starship.

    • Threedoor

      Now that’s in my head.

      Thanks…