IFLA: The “Tora! Tora! Tora!” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of December 7

by | Dec 7, 2025 | I Am Lame, IFLA | 62 comments

It lives in infamy.

Wednesday is bad for People In Charge, or alternately a Bad Person ascends to a “being in charge” state. Since there are no elections scheduled for Wednesday, I’m disinclined to favor the latter interpretation, but maybe there’s a tragic accident and Carlie III and his heir both kick it and Harry and Meghan ascend? Friday-Saturdayish we get a Mercury Saturn thing that spells Bad Times or at least poisoning. Friday and Saturday are excellent days to be a Sagittarius. Enjoy them while they last.

Old pop Christmas song done in the style of an even older pop Christmas song

We have two treachery/treason cards drawn this week.

Sagittarius: 7 of Swords – a really bad idea. Like amazingly terrible idea.

Capricorn: 6 of Wands reversed – Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, misinformation.

Aquarius: The World reversed – Inertia, fixity, stagnation, permanence.

Pisces: The Blank card – when drawn upright it means nothing. When drawn reversed it means nothing, but it a bad way.

Aries: The Hierophant – Marriage, alliance, captivity, servitude, mercy, goodness, inspiration.

Taurus: 3 of Coins reversed – Mediocrity, puerility, pettiness, weakness.

Gemini: Knight of Wands reversed – Rupture, division, interruption, discord.

Cancer: The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption. 

Leo: 4 of Wands reversed – prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

Virgo: 8 of Coins – Work, employment, commission, craftsmanship, skill, planning

Libra: 10 of Wands – Oppression, or having a success/advantage used against you.

Scorpio: The Tower – Utter catastrophe, total loss, no silver lining.

Aforementioned even older pop Christmas songs.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

62 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: The Tower – Utter catastrophe, total loss, no silver lining.

    😳

    • Grummun

      Right? I’m sure Scorpio must have gotten a non-shitty reading sometime in the last 12 months, but doesn’t seem like it.

    • (((Jarflax

      Not Adahn hates us.

      • Ted S.

        He only hates half of you, Jarflax.

      • (((Jarflax

        Which half?

  2. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    Bung Crosbey?

    Anyway, after King Chuck and Prince Bill comes Prince Boy George. Harry and the whiner are totally out.

    • Grummun

      Yup. All of William’s kids would have to eat it, and Harry would have to survive the SAS hit team dispatched to make sure he and Megan never got anywhere near the throne.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 7 of Swords – a really bad idea. Like amazingly terrible idea.

    Sign me up.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Friday and Saturday are excellent days to be a Sagittarius. Enjoy them while they last.

    I’ll take what I can get.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Roosevelt should have surrendered. We’d all be better off.

  6. PieInTheSky

    POV: you are in Romania and want a beer. You enter a taphouse knowing nothing of local craft beers. You see this. What do you chose?

    https://photos.app.goo.gl/DuQ8AMM1ie4Nzdct6

    If you say Basic Witch Pumpkin Spice Smoothie Sour I am not sure we can be friends no more

    • Sean

      If I was forced to drink a beer, it would be the black on black.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Forced?

        Who are you?

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Abyssopolis, because I like Kolsches

      After that, I’d stick to the ones brewed on site, so Not My Cup of Tea (but I’d get a taster first), Local Celebrity, Don’t Feed the Cat, maybe tasters of the sour/fruit beers in between those.

    • DEG

      Dilated Particles with a Survivor’s Remorse for dessert.

    • Tres Cool

      Dont they got Milwaukee’s Best Light?

      • Tres Cool

        Wait…the most expensive one on there is $4.50?
        Id probably spend the afternoon trying each.

      • PieInTheSky

        is that a mango NEIPA? because there is one on the list

      • PieInTheSky

        the prices are per 100 ml and you can choose how much you get.

      • DrOtto

        Ouch, that’s about $20 for a 12oz beer in US $.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Probably a Bear Minimum, as I like sours.

      Lots of interesting stuff there, ZWAK approved!

      • PieInTheSky

        leurda is wild garlic if you did not google

      • PieInTheSky

        Lots of interesting stuff there – except I hope the Pumpkin Spice Smoothie Sour

      • Chafed

        That definitely looks like a beer to avoid.

    • Evan from Evansville

      I fucking, fucking hate the ‘cute/ funny’ name bullshit. UCS can lend me some Reality Adjusting gloves so it goes away. I’m semi-sure he agrees with me, on this one. If not, I’ll use my bespoke Overcome UCS gloves so I can go over his stash. (I’ve got my own pair, but I’m sure his are nicer. Cleaner. Way cleaner.)

      • rhywun

        Not a fan of that either but talk about a losing battle….

  7. Sean

    “ Cancer: The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption. ”

    I guess I can work with the last two…

    I’m gonna have a rough week at work, woe unto those on the receiving end of my attentions,

  8. DEG

    prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

    I’ll have a shitty week, but the drunk raccoon won’t.

  9. Threedoor

    Work, employment, commission, craftsmanship, skill, planning

    All work and no play makes Luke a dull boy.

  10. Tres Cool

    Virgo: 8 of Coins – Work, employment, commission, craftsmanship, skill, planning

    Well, tomorrow I am going to W Va for a boiler project.

    • Threedoor

      That sounds interesting.
      Rebuilding or a replacement?

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I think he does stack inspection, but I do know someone who just did a complete teardown of one to get through a doorway, and then replacement. Brewery in East Oregon.

      • Threedoor

        Boiler inspection in my mind lead to certifying a steam engine or building heating system.

      • Threedoor

        East Oregon?

        You mean Greater Idaho.

    • Tres Cool

      In this case, its a RATA- relative Accuracy Test Audit. The facility has instruments that measure O2, NOx, and CO emissions. These numbers are reported to the EPA to demonstrate “continuing compliance”.
      So annually they’re required to have some idiot like me roll up in his trailer full of instruments that measure O2, NOx, and CO, and do a comparison to show that what they’re reporting is accurate. Well, relatively. It depends on the source category, but our numbers usually have to agree within 10% for NOx and CO. O2 has to be within 1%.
      A source I did last week has different criteria (power generation) so they have to be within 7.5%.

      • Threedoor

        Regulations are good!
        I knew it.
        They create jobs.

  11. juris imprudent

    Capricorn: 6 of Wands reversed – Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, misinformation. I imagine the missus will spend the week in seclusion.
    Aries: The Hierophant – Marriage, alliance, captivity, servitude, mercy, goodness, inspiration. Good thing I’m not traveling to Latvia.

  12. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    The World reversed – Inertia, fixity, stagnation, permanence

    So, drinkin’ beer, huh?

  13. Chipping Pioneer

    Tom Brady is god-awful as a colour guy.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      It’s not even Tom Brady. It’s Greg Olsen. Terrible.

    • rhywun

      Ha Tom Brady is next. I actually find him pretty good, better than I expected given what a weirdo he is.

  14. EvilSheldon

    Hi everyone! I’m back from Utah, and I wish I wasn’t!

    • R C Dean

      So, Evil, what are your views on the pressing issue of the day:

      Backing into parking spaces, or backing out of parking spaces?

  15. Evan from Evansville

    Taurus: 3 of Coins reversed – Mediocrity, puerility, pettiness, weakness.

    DAMMIT! Wasn’t that the same dame thing as *last* week?! Or before that?!!? BOTH?! This shit’s getting accurate. The holiday hiring pause is repeating itself. I don’t approve of this, but I do approve of Minnesota Munchkin adding Indiana to her work-search pool. (I don’t really anticipate that becoming a thing, but it’s fun camaraderie to share.)

    The morning was calm, then the sacramented stormed on through. Damn. Y’all hungry. Glad I’m home.

  16. Muzzled Woodchipper

    From ded thred….

    Re: “Explants”

    Wait. A. Minute. You mean to tell me that women actually have doubts about the decision to alter their bodies? Even when said alteration often opened doors they (claim) could never have been opened without the alteration? The trans folk say that’s impossible.

    • Suthenboy

      Ducking in and catching up.

      The parking spaces author is complaining that your driving is an externality (they have to wait because you are parking) that affects them so you should have to obey their wishes.
      How about this: I want to be able. to park right by the door unimpeded by any other cars. Your mere presence means they have to have a parking lot rather than a few slots in front of the door. That inconveniences me so….stay the. fuck home and stop driving. Think how much it will help the environment without out people other than me on the road…no stop lights, no yield signs….
      Stay home fucktard.

      • Suthenboy

        Oops.

      • Threedoor

        I waited for some old buddy at the grocery store who crossed left in front of my to wait for another old guy that had just gotten into his car to take the spot closest too the door.

        Sat there about four minutes waiting for him to back out and her to pull in to park sideways in the handicapped spot.

        Parking lot design drives me nuts. Why nearly every store has the through lanes next to the building is dumb. All the handicapped spots should be angled parking nose to the building and the through lanes should be back from the building a hundred feet or more to keep traffic flowing and decrease car/ped crashes.

      • Suthenboy

        I have had to design a parking lot. It is not as easy as it looks. You would think….but no, it isn’t.

      • Threedoor

        I can imagine.
        I’m glad Walmart keeps with the angled parking.
        I wish Home Depot’s and Lowe’s would go to angled parking. It’s almost like people that drive full sized pickups and two trailers go to those stores.

        Minimum parking regs, planting, ect have to add complication.

      • Suthenboy

        Lowes…..gah. Whomever designs those should go to prison.
        Alexandria, La is the nearest city to me. Outside the original colonial areas whomever designed the main roads, service roads, commercial locations…I am pretty sure I could give a chimp a crayon, brown paper bag and a fifth of whiskey and he would do a better job.

      • Threedoor

        I only drove in LA off base twice. The roads I drove from Michigan to Florida when I lived in TN/KY had horrendous layout in general.

        Possibly due to land title and historical coach rides from two hundred years ago.

        A big chunk of the rural roads south and west of the Portland OR metro area remind me of the spaghettiesq layout of the south.

  17. Suthenboy

    Oh, and on the hire a husband….there are lots of those around here.
    Wait a minute…doesnt that completely contradict the feminist narrative that women don’t need men? Until of course they have to hire a man to kill spiders…

  18. Grummun

    Today has been highly food oriented. Roasted coffee this morning. After lunch: the porkening. First attempt at making kielbasa. ~5 pounds ground, seasoned, stuffed into casings, smoking currently. And while the smoker is running, have a lump of otherwise non-exceptional cheddar in there too. And made cottage cheese, although due to smoker distractions, curds got too hot, so the cheese will be a little rubbery. That’s okay, I make it for the wife and she doesn’t mind.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    handicapped spots should be angled parking nose to the building

    Try telling the fire chief that.

    • Threedoor

      I care not for unionized government fire guys.

  20. ron73440

    I know it takes longer to back my truck into a spot, but that thing is almost impossible to back out of a spot because it is 22 feet long.

    I can’t really park in a normal spot, but if I back in so the rear is overhanging off the lot it fits quite well.

    I always park it as far away as possible and if it’s not a full lot, I will pull through and take 2 spots.

    • Threedoor

      My dad had a 67 Buick Rivera. It measured in at around 17’ long. The 69. Heavy shortbox I had at the time was almost two feet shorter than the Riv and a touch narrower.

      Our 16 Yukon XL is almost identical in size to the 67-72 Suburbans I have and it turns sharper. It’s a touch smaller than the 85 suburban I grew up in.

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