Monday Afternoon Emergency Post

by | Jan 12, 2026 | Daily Links, I Am Lame, Open Post | 90 comments

Verdammte! So much for “like a Swiss train.”

Q: What do you call a Swiss Banker who prefers Francs (FF) to Deutsche Marks (DM)?

A: Queer.

Anyway, that’s all I got. The comments are all yours.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkster, writer, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

90 Comments

  1. The Other Kevin

    I’m just happy everyone is ok at Glibs HQ. I heard ICE was randomly shooting people.

    • Rat on a train

      It’s not random. They are checking voter registration first.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is a solid joke.

    • Tonio

      The carpet here reeks of kirschwasser, and the corridors echo with yodeling. The k-pop interns locked themselves in SugarFree’s office and their gay titterings quickly turned to shrieks; then silence. And someone let the squirrels out.

      • Threedoor

        Who let the squirrels out!
        Who let the squirrels out!

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        S-pop go boom!

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      I almost got shot 4 times by ICE today, but then I remembered i didn’t actively impede a fedgov operation and run a federal angent over with my car while I was in panic mode.

      • The Other Kevin

        So that makes you a survivor. Bless your heart.

      • slumbrew

        You’re like David Hogg now.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      They are just mopping up those that weren’t killed by the tax cuts and the end of net neutrality.

  2. kinnath

    Lifestyle news you can use . . .

    • kinnath

      Who knew old medication bottles could be used to store small household knick-knacks?

      “This might be common knowledge, but I had a real lightbulb moment today when I went to go throw this out,” Morgan shared in the video.

      The younglings have been so badly screwed by their parents.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Grandparents of yore had cash in theirs.

      • Nephilium

        /blink

        I know board gamers who use those to organize tokens for their games.

      • Threedoor

        I used to store stuff in film canisters.

        I’m guessing I still have some mussel loader powder loads in a few. Somewhere.

      • Rat on a train

        I use an old medication bottle for peanuts. I get looks when I am popping a couple peanuts every few minutes.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Yeah. Muzzle loader power. Let’s go with that.

      • robc

        “I know board gamers who use those to organize tokens for their games.”

        The plastic snack baggies are the best. The ones too small for sandwiches that were hard to find for a while, because they are clearly perfect for selling weed.

  3. Ownbestenemy

    I’m just glad this isn’t a Dem administration otherwise we’d have a slew of new ‘trainings’ we’d have to do.

  4. EvilSheldon

    Q: What do you call a Swiss Banker who prefers Francs (FF) to Deutsche Marks (DM)?

    A: Queer.

    LOL! Is that like the one about the Australian with a sheep under each arm?

      • EvilSheldon

        Or a pimp…

      • trshmnstr

        You and me both.

    • Threedoor

      I just ordered another pair of stainless fabric scissors this morning. I’m not messing around anymore, my mom would throw a fit when my sister and I used them for construction paper and other projects. But they were the only pair of scissors in the house. Only ones. I nicked my office pair and can’t see the nick. They are in the shop now. I’m at the stage of my life where I just buy extra tools for each room. Screw looking for the one thing you have.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I approve of discrete items for each room.

      • kinnath

        There’s a tape measure and a box knife on every floor of the house plus the garage.

      • Threedoor

        Fingernail clippers. Tape measure, and flashlight for every vehicle.

    • kinnath

      I have my own scissors and shears for fabric and leather. I wouldn’t dare to touch my wife’s gear. I’m too fond of my balls.

      • juris imprudent

        The rusty sheers for those, right?

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Resistance is futile

    For one thing, notes UC Berkeley economist Gabriel Zucman, an advocate of wealth taxes generally, “it has become impossible to avoid the tax by leaving the state.” Billionaires who hadn’t already established residency elsewhere by Jan. 1 this year have missed a crucial deadline.

    ——-

    As for the argument that billionaires could avoid the tax by moving assets out of the state, “the location of the assets doesn’t matter,” Zucman told me by email. “Taxpayers would be liable for the tax on their worldwide assets.”

    Genius.

    • slumbrew

      It will be far cheaper to tie up that retroactive bullshit in court than pay it.

      ISRT they announced the bill at the end of November, so the “why didn’t they move earlier” folks missed that getting out legally in under 30 days is tough if you’ve got a bunch of businesses.

      • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

        It would be far cheaper to arrange a hit of ignoramus Zucman. After the hue and cry is over people might be less disposed to try to confiscate plutocrat property.

        The whole situation reminds me of the ‘one-time’ wealth seizures the Plantagenet kings of England were prone to do. Again and again and again.

      • Threedoor

        Simply ignore them.
        Never step foot in CA again.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      How anyone can stay in a political black hole like CA baffles me. Everything gets sucked in eventually.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    The late tax expert at USC, Ed Kleinbard, used to describe the capital gains tax as our only voluntary tax, since wealthy families can avoid selling their stocks and bonds indefinitely but can borrow against them, tax-free, for funds to live on; if they die before selling, the imputed value of their holdings is “stepped up” to their value at their passing, extinguishing forever what could be decades of embedded tax liabilities. (The practice has been labeled “buy, borrow, die.”)

    Sounds legit.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      So they borrow against the stocks, but don’t they have to repay the loans? What money do they use for that?

      • Grumbletarian

        “Hey Bank, I have $500K in a money market account, can I borrow $75K and defer payments for a year?”

        “Sure! We’ll give you a low interest rate because you might ask another bank.”

        A year passes with no payments.

        “Hey Bank, I know I owe you around $78K after interest, but my portfolio is worth $650K now, can I borrow $153K, of which I will pay you the $78K I owe you on the first loan, and defer payments on the rest for a year?”

        “Sure! We’ll give you a low interest rate because you might ask another bank.”

      • EvilSheldon

        It’s a nice gig if you can get it…and assuming your portfolio never goes goes down in value (which, to be fair, is quite rare once you hit a certain dollar amount…)

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        That sounds like someone constantly rolling over their credit card balance thinking they will never owe anything. I guess I could see a bank going for it if they are making money off the client in other ways.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        you don’t even have to go to your bank… the trust/fund can loan you the money at the fed rate (can’t be 0%.. but say 3% is fine)… and that 3% is then income to your trust/fund. (yes the income is never collected, or is a loss upon the beneficiaries death) a straight reading without looking at cap losses vs income gives you a 15 year horizon with US funds.. and if the income is out of country, with no income tax.. indefinite.

      • creech

        Probably works fine as long as stocks are rising much faster than the amount you borrow against them.

      • Grumbletarian

        You never fully pay off the debt. But if you die with $10M in assets and $2M in debt because you’ve been borrowing $75K a year to live on, who cares? Your kids pay off the loan and get $8M. Then they go to the bank and ask for a loan for $75K against $8 million in assets and the cycle starts anew.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        I think R.C Dean can also fill you in how you bequeath the trust/remainder to charity and that allows the implosion of the depleted asset to not burden any remaining estate.

      • creech

        Plus the offshore Trust owns everything tangible you use: the houses, the furnishings and autos, the yacht, the plane, the credit cards, etc.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        I always hear the Pay off the bank ($2Mill(… but at 3%, for more than 5 years you are better off just paying the 15% cap gains. Either the money goes to the Bank or the Feds.. and then at year 6 you are no longer loosing 3%, and the cost basis is stepped up.

        of course you don’t need all of your investments liquidated in the same year, but the % still holds.. you need X dollars this year.. pay 3% indefinitely,, or take a one time 15% hit in cap gains.

        This 3 card monte is only good if you are paying that 3% to your own private bank, especially off shore.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    ISRT they announced the bill at the end of November, so the “why didn’t they move earlier” folks missed that getting out legally in under 30 days is tough if you’ve got a bunch of businesses.

    It’s essentially retroactive, but what would we expect from the SEIU?

    • slumbrew

      Which can’t possibly be legal but it’ll take time and money to fight it.

  8. Swiss Servator

    My laptop, screens and docking station are all just about to be thrown across the room by a very angry me.

    I did manage to schedule 7pm tonight, and 11 AM tomorrow – after that, we have nothing.

    • EvilSheldon

      That is, sometimes, the best way to repair them.

    • R.J.

      I got the Glib Flick turned in moments ago. I am going to get a writeup on some
      Commie light show done tomorrow. I have to rest a bit. Re-orged at work, got sick, wife is sick now too.

    • Bobbo

      Im still finishing a few but I sent up 2 so far

  9. Aloysious

    Swiss isn’t melting from the heat, I hope.

    His masters must be wanting grilled cheese today.

    I am no shpip, and now I want deep fried cheese.

  10. Furthest Blue pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    we have nothing

    There is always something.

    I remember making my little brother and myself hotdog, green grape, and ‘Murican cheese omelets when our childhood cupboards were bare.

  11. Pash KKatel

    Remember I told you I applied for a job at a libertarian-adjacent organization that I was really excited about?

    I have an interview on Wednesday.

    • Not-so Rugged Individualist Hobbit

      XLNT

      Good luck.

    • Pash KKatel

      THe cool thing is, one of the founders has been in the media a bit lately, so maybe fundraising will tick up and they can hire me on a W4 in the future (the job is a 1099 as of now)

      • Threedoor

        1099 is better.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Ooooh! BIG Things! Congrats and good luck.

    • Timeloose

      Cool, good luck KK

  12. The Late P Brooks

    So they borrow against the stocks, but don’t they have to repay the loans? What money do they use for that?

    Yeah, I wish somebody would explain that part to me. I think I’d get laughed out of the bank if I asked for one of those interest free no payback loans, no matter what I put up for collateral.

  13. Evan from Evansville

    The Indianapolis Metro PD got in touch with me about a transcriptionist position I applied for. Lieutenant [Greg] Norris of the Child Abuse Unit/Sex Offense Unit | Investigations Division wants to interview me on Jan 26. I’d be documenting statements and responses from victims, officers and victims.

    Oddly enough, it may be a good fit for me. It would certainly bolster my ‘Interesting Positions Held’ checklist. It also highly interested Minnesota Munch, who’s looking for govt (mostly paralegal) work, and said it would further incentivize her to move to IN. (She reckons I’d provide something of an ‘in,’ which is (in her shoes) understandable wishful thinking.)

    I have a meeting with my Voca Rehab dude on Wed, and hopefully he’s heard from the Carmel financial group that may be of great interest to me. He also knew a dude who worked ‘near’ the gig I’m going for, and may know some folk of his own. Hrm. I’d rather not live in the Chinese version of “Interesting Times,” but my own flavor has some zing to it. Adds pep to step.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Ha. Victims, officers and suspects. (I’m sure they think they’re victims, too.)

      • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

        In too many places now crime victims are now considered perps and criminals are treated as victims.

  14. Bobbo

    TPTB I just sent a new piece your way.

  15. Fourscore

    We’ll be paying a ton of capital gains tax this year, after selling some property. Just bite the bullet and pay. 80,000 Somalis depend on me.

    We’re trying to get our affairs in order, it would seem easy but the “party of the first part” gets a little complicated when dealing with the government.

    • Tres Cool

      You cant fool me- there’s no sanity clause

      • Bobbo

        I did however meet a girl at the beach,
        Sandy Claus

      • R.J.

        That’s a good beach cat name.

      • The Hyperbole

        I was blind for three days.

    • Threedoor

      Wealth taxes of all flavors should be banned.

  16. R.J.

    SAH!

    “R.J. GOES OUTSIDE / EMERGENCY POST” SUBMITTED SAH!

      • R.J.

        It was forced, by those who call themselves my family. Periodically they make me stop watching movies and leave the house.

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