The Hat and The Hair Animated: Rerun Ep 84

by | Jan 21, 2026 | Hat and Hair | 68 comments

As I write this FIFA Peace Prize winner Donald Trump invaded another country, arrested their Dictator President. News reports (LOL) say he might invade Greenland. So this episode seems apropos. However, If we have invaded Greenland by the point this posts I want to be heralded as a prophet.

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

68 Comments

  1. DEG

    “Manifest decimy”

    I like that.

  2. Fourscore

    You’re already a poet, CPRM, profiteering should come easy.

  3. DEG

    Uvalde shooting verdict in

    A jury has acquitted former Uvalde, Texas, school police officer Adrian Gonzales for his response to the Robb Elementary shooting in May 2022.

    After one hour of deliberations, the jury returned a not guilty verdict on all 29 counts of child endangerment.

    Gonzales was among the first officers to respond to the mass shooting, in which 19 students and two teachers were killed. It took 77 minutes before law enforcement mounted a counterassault to end the rampage.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      That response time is fucking disgraceful. Every one of those cops should never be allowed to work in law enforcement again in any capacity beyond 911 operator.

      But I don’t think they deserve jail.

      • Threedoor

        I’d settle for the scaffold

    • Threedoor

      How many cops and wives of cops and fire guys were on the jury?

    • Fourscore

      “It took 77 minutes before law enforcement mounted a counterassault to end the rampage…”

      Now do firemen

      “Hey, yeah, we were on our break when the call came in…”

      • Threedoor

        “We dispatched to 150 non fire calls this year to make our numbers look better so we have a larger budget for next year”

    • Chafed

      I don’t know the elements of that law but JFC. What does it take for those cops to face some consequences?

      • Threedoor

        They will all go home and sleep safely in their warm and dry taxpayer funded bed.

        They will only face consequences after their death.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        They will face the same consequences as the fire chief in LA.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The fucking jury deliberated less time than the cops waited for the rampage to end. 🤡

    • Threedoor

      We get the ice
      They get to keep the welfare recipients?

      • UnCivilServant

        It becomes a special resource territory. Responsibility for the Greenlanders gets switched to the Dutch because of a typo in the agreement, the Us gets rights to build military facilities and resource extraction industries in any of the place not currently occupied by humans.

    • UnCivilServant

      Without details, it’s still just more hot air.

      • Chafed

        This ⬆️⬆️⬆️

    • Evan from Evansville

      Accidentally, or in 2.0 I think it’s more purposeful, Greenland ‘worked.’ The Danes and EU said they’d’ have ‘given Trump what he wanted “If he asked nicely”,’ and NATO was forced to kinda act like it gave a shit. Leads perfectly into “Oh, so NOW you care about defending yourself?!” in a push to actually have Euro nations changing defense policies, strategies.

      I don’t think the EU will suddenly actually make meaningful changes, I fear, but their responses are on the record now, as it were. One of Trump’s best features is he really does give previously-silent masses the balls to ACTUALLY say what they think. AfD is a big example. Coverage over the dagger-wielding kid from England.

      Embarrassment is an underrated social feature, and their instinctual, outraged responses to Trump does reveal colors. People do notice, but likely too late for Euro to change, sans collapse. Hopefully, Ukraine and Greenland kinda make people realize Team America shouldn’t be a walk-thru. (This boy can dream.)

      This has been covered, but I admit most of my Serious relationships have been with Indian /Arab colors. Usha Vance is damn, damn fine. I hope their fourth has a lovely childood.

      Also pokey: Kinda sets up Vance to be a Team Red JFK, in the kids-in- -the-WH sense. That must burn. Teehee!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not much mention that the US already has Thule
        or whatever the fuck it’s called now.

      • slumbrew

        Pity-fuck

  4. Evan from Evansville

    I’m loving day two of late nite, NHL doubleheaders. First game was great and this one is 1-1 after the 1st period. Fantastic Distraction Dust. Kinda needed as my bowel-door’s still a-swinging. I’m usually ~135lb but was down to 123 earlier, but this pineapple is the first real food I’ve eaten, so +1 on that. Well timed, as I already had a Dr’s appt set up for tomorrow. Gettin’ a physical and will cover the last 24hrs of gastro-uncertainty.

    Also well timed, tho general malaise distracted me, but I’ve got my weed right here and I haven’t vaped any of it today. That’s strange of me. Correcting this, now. (Game still tied.)

    • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

      But by doing so he’s now a hero to the TDS crowd

    • Threedoor

      Doing away with the character limit was a bad move.

      Glad Elon bought my Twitter stock.

      • Bobbo

        The ability to write articles is pay to play, but rest is fun if you have blue check.
        Good updated news as well as SF jumping in now and again

      • Threedoor

        I got perma banned last spring so no can only see the occasional bit posted here with a link.

  5. Derpetologist

    I think it’s the Europeans who played Trump. He’ll get permission to station more troops there and build more bases and once again, the rest of NATO will offload the cost onto the indispensable and very stupid part of the alliance.

    NATO is dumb and we should have left it in 1991. We’d have saved hundreds of billions in addition to not being in a proxy war with Russia we are destined to lose.

    • Bobbo

      But if we get access to Greenland then we have Canada surrounded think about it.

      • Bobbo

        Think of all the Iniut princesses,
        The poutine, bacon and syrup.
        There takeover will be glorious, if a bit sticky from the syrup

      • Derpetologist

        Just because Greenland is a territory in Risk doesn’t mean it’s strategically vital.

        Huh, Venezuela is also a territory in Risk. That’s an amusing coincidence.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risk_(game)#Territories

      • Derpetologist

        So is Ukraine. Good lord, has our entire foreign policy been hijacked by Risk fanatics?

        “You think Ukraine is joke?! Ukraine smash!”

      • Bobbo

        Risk? Oh yeah, we should do an online glibs game, that would be, interesting

      • Threedoor

        That would be fun bobbo

    • Derpetologist

      Trump negotiates with NATO, a dramatic reenactment:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9DCAFUerzs

      Think how hard they must be laughing:

      “We send barely a platoon to Greenland and it gets the stupid yankees to fork over even *more* money!”

  6. Derpetologist

    kay·fabe
    [ˈkāˌfāb]
    US ENGLISH
    informal
    (in professional wrestling) the fact or convention of presenting staged performances as genuine or authentic

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkghtyxZ6rc

    It’s all fake.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, Ted’S., and Stinky!

      Looking forward to the impending Snowmageddon, when I may have the opportunity to try to post the payroll that includes my coworkers’ semi-annual incentives while I’m working from home. Maybe I’ll even get to do it running my work laptop off our emergency generator! Yippee! 🙄

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • Ted S.

        The last forecast I saw is 6-10 inches for us on Sunday, along with bitter cold.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m annoyed at this whole mess. I want a vacation. Some span of time off when I’m not sick.

      • Gender Traitor

        Similar forecast here at the moment: “Confidence is growing for over 8 inches of snow along Interstate 70 and south.”

      • Gender Traitor

        I took the week of Christmas off, and I’m already ready for another vacation. Maybe in February?

      • Gender Traitor

        Probably not until the last week of February at the earliest. 😞

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t have enough leave. I want to retain my emergency buffer.

      • rhywun

        I’ll believe the snow when I see it (we don’t get a lot where I am) but lows around 0 are going to be interesting.

      • Not Adahn

        Had beautiful low-density snow here yesterday afternoon/evening. Easy to remove from the driveway.

      • rhywun

        *open blinds*

        lol Looks like we got about 1/4 inch last night.

  7. Ted S.

    Another Darwin Award candidate

    DENNING, N.Y. — A Hopewell Junction hiker spent a chilly night on Table Mountain before being rescued by rangers, the state Department of Environmental Conservation said Wednesday.

    At 1:30 p.m. Friday, Jan. 16, rangers on routine patrol along the Phoenicia East Branch Trail and encountered a 33-year-old hiker beginning a hike on Table Mountain, officials said.

    The ranger “expressed concern” over the hiker’s late start, but the hiker was confident in their ability, had proper gear, and proceeded,” according to a press release.

    At 2:27 a.m. on Saturday, Jan. 17, the hiker sent an SOS from a satellite device with coordinates on the Fisherman’s Path which parallels the Neversink River, a “common trailless exit route for many of the Catskill peaks,” officials said.

    […]

    After talking to the hiker, they learned the hiker had changed plans and included Lone, Peekamoose, Table and Rocky Mountains in their route.

  8. Stinky Wizzleteats

    An interesting piss and moan vid from a Cali electric customer who also spent 30 grand on solar:
    https://youtu.be/KBE6KyXroeI?si=j_JEJ4t3ooJyx5lI

    What a scam (too long, didn’t watch: fees, more fees, and the house always wins).

    • rhywun

      I just saw a commercial from windmill advocates begging Donald to complete the planned offshore boondoggles so America can be energy dominant or some shit. All red, white, and blue and flags.

      I thought, who are you fooling.

      • UnCivilServant

        Energy dominance demands discarding boodoggles like windmills and building up coal, oil, gas, nuclear and hydro capacity.

        Saw an article recently about improvements in extractive techology rendering new, deeper layers of the permian basin economically viable, containing another huge reserve in west texas.

  9. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

  10. Rat on a train

    When you don’t have any real accomplishments, tout your spending
    Admitting CA HSR is just an expensive works program?

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I always see that with big projects like stadiums. The huge impact of building the things is always the first item on the list. The ongoing impact is almost an afterthought.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Haven’t we been doing that nonstop since 196whatever?

      • R C Dean

        Maybe not nonstop. I don’t think Obama or Biden had any particular problem with commies.