Genre – Comedy
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hour 23 Minutes
Spoilers – Yes
By happenstance, the spinner rolled up the last of the three Police Academy movies on this list just two movies after number two. I don’t know how many were made, but I only have the three. I apparently was not in the mood for the slapstick of the opening as the bad guys meet in a parking garage. Whatever state these movies take place in apparently has only two Police Academies, and the villains have found out there are plans to chop one of them. Being the operators of the one our misfits did not attend, they would rather it be the one the misfits did attend. The villains are so inept that they lose their car and get beat up by the garage gate of their own accord.
Okay, so somehow Mauser from movie two is now commandant of the competing academy. To deal with the issue, the misfits are summoned. This group contains Designated Protagonist (still a pest), Unsafe Handling, Hightower, Sound Effects Machine, Miss Whisper, and Callahan, who hasn’t shown herself since the first movie.
The whole into apes the first in many ways not quite shot for shot, but echoing the introduction of new misfits.
Accident Prone and his wife have a rehash of the scene from the first movie with a role reversal, where he is trying to stop her from enrolling in the academy. It goes much the same way as the last time. Some rich dude gets dropped off albeit without a conversation with a relative about why he’s there. I doubt he’s a designated romantic interest, more of a walking clueless righ guy joke. Lamp seller returns, enrolling in the academy. There’s also the Japanese Transfer Student who speaks zero English. Mousy bookish girl and unsafe handling’s brother-in-law also sign up. Somehow Bobcat isn’t in prison and ends up as Lamp Seller’s roommate. “Reformed”, yeah, right.
I’m not sure why I’m supposed to be rooting for Designated Protagonist’s academy. Other than Mouser personally being an ass, he appears to be running a good institution. Everything is orderly, clean, and up to date. Other than the fact that the misfits have been declared to be the protagonists, I’m not sure what this place has that makes it the better choice. Narratively, the sabotage attempts are weak. Because I really don’t think their academy is actually a good school. The fact that it’s assholes on both sides makes it a wash from a character standpoint.
The plot beats are really not worth reiterating, as each one is just a game of trying to make the evaluation committee choose the other school to be shut down. Repeating these beat by beat provides no insight into the movie. Ultimately, it’s a matter of whether these are entertaining to you. I am not entertained.
Our obligatory major crime climax is a robbery of a fundraising event for the governor at the Yacht club. Misfit powers activate. Of course, it’s all further exaggerated from previous installments. If I sound bored, it’s only because the really drawn out boat chase is dull.
I’m once again very short on words for the review. So I’ll go through what failed. The writing was all over the place, like they scooped a big heaping helping of ideas into the bucket and didn’t edit them down. They introduced far too many characters and couldn’t make use of most of them. They felt obliged to call back to elements from the first movie where it didn’t actually fit into this one. Biggest example, the obligatory inclusion of Miss Whisper shouting “Don’t Move, Dirtbag” at some goon even though it no longer had significance to the plot. It meant something in the first movie as part of her character, but here it comes off like a catchphrase instead. Despite trying to sabotage the academy, none of the attempts by Mauser’s minions was all that effectual, with most of the fallout being from the misfits being misfits. I never got the sense that the protagonist’s institution was worth saving, or that Mauser’s was all that bad.
By far the biggest sin of this comedy was that I didn’t laugh. Not once.
Hrm. I wonder how much Hollywood schlock is made to purposefully move money around in secret. Buy a favor here; return one there; straight-up laundering; appeasing to a star’s desires; hire the right guilds; etc.
(Yes. <– I know that's much of the answer.)
Speaking of: How's Project Hail Mary? Heard good things, but that don't mean much.
Other than adaptations from other media (say, a book series,) has the third installment of a film franchise ever NOT been a lame rehash of the original? Also, slapstick without wit is tiresome.
Can’t think of one, other than the third installment of a series of films. Even then, they are Part III of the same thing. (Lethal Weapon, Naked Gun, Matrix, etc). None of those is better than their predecessor.
Part III = I’m out of ideas + I still have to finish this.
Return of the Jedi.
Return of the Jedi was by far the worst of the original trilogy.
Slave Leia. I rest my case.
Die Hard 3 was way better than 2, and stands up pretty well against the original.
I’m with Dante on this debate. Empire is better than Return.
Christmas Vacation may be an exception. That was 3 or 4 in the franchise and is probably more watched than the original and holds up well in it’s own right. My kids would probably be surprised there even was other Vacation movies.
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly?
Correct to both of you on both counts.
Army of Darkness is a solid threequel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf9V-yzCzR4
It’s like Dungeons and Dragons meets Monty Python.
Since Evil Dead 2 was a remake of 1, they already did the rehash.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock?
Good thing there. I’d hate to have seen a rehash of the Motionless Picture.
Yeah, that is still a rough watch. Imagine being dragged to it when you’re ten years old.
Avoid all the odd numbers in the TOS series.
Nah, Search for Spock is pretty good.
V does suck hard.
Lethal Weapon 3?
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?
“I wrote it down so I wouldn’t have to remember” – Mantra I use for work documentation. Not a perfect quote from the movie, but close enough.
I didn’t think it was possible to make a boring action movie until I tried to watch The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
UCS needs to watch something truly awful like The Room, Manos: The Hands of Fate, or Plan 9 From Outer Space.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luIuvnKjb6E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-i6SjbE0SEA
There should be a combo. GlibFlicks shows it, UnCivil reviews it.
🤔
To schedule it right we’d need coordination with the powers that be.
I write these in sprints where I go through several in a row. So right now there are nine in the hopper that haven’t gone live yet. I’ve written one more (Part 1 of Assassination Classroom) but am holding off uploading it until I’ve gotten the rest written in case I change my mind on how I’m grouping the episodes.
In all, I’m not opposed to the idea, we would have to pick the piece and get a scheduler on board to make it make sense – unless you think it’d be amusing to have my review resurface a few months down the line 😝
Ok. That’s step one. Is there a particular item you would want to review?
While it’s probably an unhelpful answer, my first thought is “whatever might result in the funniest reaction.”
Honestly, as long as I can stand to watch it all the way through, I can give anything a go. The limiting factor is what would be available to show the Glibs at large on the GlibFlicks installment.
Ok. I am jumping around a bit today, so reach out to me at
BrusselsSproutHead@Proton.me
And we can coordinate something. I will give you suggestions.
They’ve both been “reviewed” on MST3K.
I have seen Plan 9, so it would be ineligable for this series. I do not own the other recommendations.
League confused me, as I had read two of the the Quartermain books (specifially “King Soloman’s Mine and Allan Quartermain, but not the prequels), and Connery is a bad fit for the character Haggard wrote.
Applogies to Haggard, I added an R to Quatermain.
Other than adaptations from other media (say, a book series,) has the third installment of a film franchise ever NOT been a lame rehash of the original?
The Thin Man series.
“Other than the fact that the misfits have been declared to be the protagonists, I’m not sure what this place has that makes it the better choice.”
This is what makes your reviews interesting. I saw these movies as a kid and I just took everything at face value.
I think a lot of kids do just accept the movies they see as presented.
I don’t remember specific examples, but there were times where I did watch something and went “the ‘bad guy’ in no way deserved what was done to him” Though I gave these things more thought the older I got.
You have to watch this film with a friend. It’s a team thing, it takes two.
Also takes two
You disappoint me, Tedses. I expected It Takes Two.
I think these movies take place in the State of Denial.
Instead of sequels, they should have done spin-offs.
Maybe they can land a bunch of ex-pats somewhere, like a Bay of Goats?
That’d be terrible, all the imported Arab militias would be on vacation there.
It’s not so baaaaaad