Genre – Comedy
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hour 23 Minutes
Spoilers – Yes
By happenstance, the spinner rolled up the last of the three Police Academy movies on this list just two movies after number two. I don’t know how many were made, but I only have the three. I apparently was not in the mood for the slapstick of the opening as the bad guys meet in a parking garage. Whatever state these movies take place in apparently has only two Police Academies, and the villains have found out there are plans to chop one of them. Being the operators of the one our misfits did not attend, they would rather it be the one the misfits did attend. The villains are so inept that they lose their car and get beat up by the garage gate of their own accord.
Okay, so somehow Mauser from movie two is now commandant of the competing academy. To deal with the issue, the misfits are summoned. This group contains Designated Protagonist (still a pest), Unsafe Handling, Hightower, Sound Effects Machine, Miss Whisper, and Callahan, who hasn’t shown herself since the first movie.
The whole into apes the first in many ways not quite shot for shot, but echoing the introduction of new misfits.
Accident Prone and his wife have a rehash of the scene from the first movie with a role reversal, where he is trying to stop her from enrolling in the academy. It goes much the same way as the last time. Some rich dude gets dropped off albeit without a conversation with a relative about why he’s there. I doubt he’s a designated romantic interest, more of a walking clueless righ guy joke. Lamp seller returns, enrolling in the academy. There’s also the Japanese Transfer Student who speaks zero English. Mousy bookish girl and unsafe handling’s brother-in-law also sign up. Somehow Bobcat isn’t in prison and ends up as Lamp Seller’s roommate. “Reformed”, yeah, right.
I’m not sure why I’m supposed to be rooting for Designated Protagonist’s academy. Other than Mouser personally being an ass, he appears to be running a good institution. Everything is orderly, clean, and up to date. Other than the fact that the misfits have been declared to be the protagonists, I’m not sure what this place has that makes it the better choice. Narratively, the sabotage attempts are weak. Because I really don’t think their academy is actually a good school. The fact that it’s assholes on both sides makes it a wash from a character standpoint.
The plot beats are really not worth reiterating, as each one is just a game of trying to make the evaluation committee choose the other school to be shut down. Repeating these beat by beat provides no insight into the movie. Ultimately, it’s a matter of whether these are entertaining to you. I am not entertained.
Our obligatory major crime climax is a robbery of a fundraising event for the governor at the Yacht club. Misfit powers activate. Of course, it’s all further exaggerated from previous installments. If I sound bored, it’s only because the really drawn out boat chase is dull.
I’m once again very short on words for the review. So I’ll go through what failed. The writing was all over the place, like they scooped a big heaping helping of ideas into the bucket and didn’t edit them down. They introduced far too many characters and couldn’t make use of most of them. They felt obliged to call back to elements from the first movie where it didn’t actually fit into this one. Biggest example, the obligatory inclusion of Miss Whisper shouting “Don’t Move, Dirtbag” at some goon even though it no longer had significance to the plot. It meant something in the first movie as part of her character, but here it comes off like a catchphrase instead. Despite trying to sabotage the academy, none of the attempts by Mauser’s minions was all that effectual, with most of the fallout being from the misfits being misfits. I never got the sense that the protagonist’s institution was worth saving, or that Mauser’s was all that bad.
By far the biggest sin of this comedy was that I didn’t laugh. Not once.
Hrm. I wonder how much Hollywood schlock is made to purposefully move money around in secret. Buy a favor here; return one there; straight-up laundering; appeasing to a star’s desires; hire the right guilds; etc.
(Yes. <– I know that's much of the answer.)
Speaking of: How's Project Hail Mary? Heard good things, but that don't mean much.
Other than adaptations from other media (say, a book series,) has the third installment of a film franchise ever NOT been a lame rehash of the original? Also, slapstick without wit is tiresome.
Can’t think of one, other than the third installment of a series of films. Even then, they are Part III of the same thing. (Lethal Weapon, Naked Gun, Matrix, etc). None of those is better than their predecessor.
Part III = I’m out of ideas + I still have to finish this.
Return of the Jedi.
Return of the Jedi was by far the worst of the original trilogy.
Slave Leia. I rest my case.
Die Hard 3 was way better than 2, and stands up pretty well against the original.
I’m with Dante on this debate. Empire is better than Return.
Christmas Vacation may be an exception. That was 3 or 4 in the franchise and is probably more watched than the original and holds up well in it’s own right. My kids would probably be surprised there even was other Vacation movies.
I’m not sure if I’ve seen that one. 🥴
European is probably my favorite.
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
Die Hard 2 is no good. Die Hard 3 is great, but no Die Hard.
Empire is much better than Jedi. Slave Leia was on my mind, as well.
I don’t like the Vacation movies, tho Europe has funny parts.
Lethal Weapon 3 is good. Pesci as Getz is worth every moment in 2/3, but OG wins by much.
Good Bad and Indifferent is much better. The final scene, duh, is iconic for reasons. Tucu steals the show.
My cat has mittens.
Is slave Leia an equal counter weight to Ewoks?
A question for the ages.
Indy and the Last Crusade is absolutely fabulous. It’s far better than Temple O’Doom, but it ain’t no Raiders. Connery as Jones Sr. is brilliant in several ways. So is Denholm Elliott.
Coked-up Carrie makes up for many things. (‘Specially if she shares.) Most of Jedi is solid. The utter incompetence of the Storm Troopers is damning, to both the film and the Empire. But it’s fun, I’ll give it that.
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly?
I came here to say this.
While considered “The Dollar Trilogy” the movies aren’t connected plot-wise at all so I would say they are not sequels. One might argue that Clint is playing the same character in all three movies but he played the same character in all his westerns, and Lee Van Cleef is playing two different characters in FAFDM and TGTBATU.
Correct to both of you on both counts.
Army of Darkness is a solid threequel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf9V-yzCzR4
It’s like Dungeons and Dragons meets Monty Python.
Since Evil Dead 2 was a remake of 1, they already did the rehash.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock?
Good thing there. I’d hate to have seen a rehash of the Motionless Picture.
Yeah, that is still a rough watch. Imagine being dragged to it when you’re ten years old.
Avoid all the odd numbers in the TOS series.
Nah, Search for Spock is pretty good.
V does suck hard.
The Motion Picture was already a rehash…
You know, it’s funny you say that. I didn’t like it when I saw it in the theater way back when. But it’s grown on me. I particularly like the scene where Kirk says he needs his pain.
*tap tap tap*
lol I have little memory of that, but that is some classic scene-chewing from the Shat.
Lethal Weapon 3?
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?
“I wrote it down so I wouldn’t have to remember” – Mantra I use for work documentation. Not a perfect quote from the movie, but close enough.
The third and final Indiana jones movie.
They went out on top.
I remember the Mad spoof. Also excellent, as was the custom in those days.
I remember the Mad spoof of ST:TMP more than the actual movie – it was great.
There is only one Indy movie.
Fight Me!
Technically Raiders is not an Indy movie.
I didn’t think it was possible to make a boring action movie until I tried to watch The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
UCS needs to watch something truly awful like The Room, Manos: The Hands of Fate, or Plan 9 From Outer Space.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luIuvnKjb6E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-i6SjbE0SEA
There should be a combo. GlibFlicks shows it, UnCivil reviews it.
🤔
To schedule it right we’d need coordination with the powers that be.
I write these in sprints where I go through several in a row. So right now there are nine in the hopper that haven’t gone live yet. I’ve written one more (Part 1 of Assassination Classroom) but am holding off uploading it until I’ve gotten the rest written in case I change my mind on how I’m grouping the episodes.
In all, I’m not opposed to the idea, we would have to pick the piece and get a scheduler on board to make it make sense – unless you think it’d be amusing to have my review resurface a few months down the line 😝
Ok. That’s step one. Is there a particular item you would want to review?
While it’s probably an unhelpful answer, my first thought is “whatever might result in the funniest reaction.”
Honestly, as long as I can stand to watch it all the way through, I can give anything a go. The limiting factor is what would be available to show the Glibs at large on the GlibFlicks installment.
Ok. I am jumping around a bit today, so reach out to me at
BrusselsSproutHead@Proton.me
And we can coordinate something. I will give you suggestions.
Email sent.
Use that email on Grindr.
Every review:
It stinks!
That works on Grndr also.
ZWAK only watches Crystal Skull.
Replied to wrong thread …
I now leave in shame
They’ve both been “reviewed” on MST3K.
I have seen Plan 9, so it would be ineligable for this series. I do not own the other recommendations.
League confused me, as I had read two of the the Quartermain books (specifially “King Soloman’s Mine and Allan Quartermain, but not the prequels), and Connery is a bad fit for the character Haggard wrote.
Applogies to Haggard, I added an R to Quatermain.
Richard Chamberlain…
The League of Gentlemen, however, is an excellent movie. Jack Hawkins is excellent as always.
Other than adaptations from other media (say, a book series,) has the third installment of a film franchise ever NOT been a lame rehash of the original?
The Thin Man series.
I inherited a DVD collection of those movies. IIRC, I enjoyed them, but it was obvious that pre-TV there was a “good enough to be inside in the air conditioning” standard when it came to cinema.
“Other than the fact that the misfits have been declared to be the protagonists, I’m not sure what this place has that makes it the better choice.”
This is what makes your reviews interesting. I saw these movies as a kid and I just took everything at face value.
I think a lot of kids do just accept the movies they see as presented.
I don’t remember specific examples, but there were times where I did watch something and went “the ‘bad guy’ in no way deserved what was done to him” Though I gave these things more thought the older I got.
You have to watch this film with a friend. It’s a team thing, it takes two.
Also takes two
You disappoint me, Tedses. I expected It Takes Two.
Tres with the correct link
You can see from that scene why the other academy was flawed, you’ve got to have some soul if you’re gonna police the city.
I thought we police this city on rock and roll….
Serpico plays the mamba…
I think these movies take place in the State of Denial.
Instead of sequels, they should have done spin-offs.
Maybe they can land a bunch of ex-pats somewhere, like a Bay of Goats?
That’d be terrible, all the imported Arab militias would be on vacation there.
It’s not so baaaaaad
Today I learned that there is a Monty Python pirate movie: Yellowbeard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVlvQ4eDhxU
Despite the clickbait YouTube title, that’s not a Monty Python film. Only one of the Pythons is involved.
Eh, it has 3 – Cleese, Idle, and Chapman.
***
Cleese played a part out of loyalty to Chapman. He said he found the script to be one of the worst he had read, although it is unclear which version he was referring to. In an interview given in 2001, Cleese described Yellowbeard as “one of the six worst films made in the history of the world”.
Eric Idle mentioned Yellowbeard as one of the worst films he has ever made, but said he enjoyed making it. “Sometimes, the best times can be on the worst movies and vice versa, e.g. Yellowbeard, which I wouldn’t have missed for the world.”
***
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellowbeard
Then I guess we must also consider Time Bandits a Python film, directed by Gilliam and featuring Cleese and Palin.
(Well, YOU must. I don’t.)
I initially misread that as Ice Pirates.
Which is horribly underrated
And Jabberwocky.
As opposed to Ice Castles, which is hilariously bad.
Damn. Madeline Kahn and David Bowie at least appear in it. Keith Moon.
Best part: “It all started when Keith Moon, Sam Peckinpah, Graham Chapman and myself were dining at Trader Vic’s. Keith suggested doing a movie about pirates and we were all discussing it and being enthusiastic, when I saw Sam, who was too tired to actually go to the lavatory, relieving himself in the artificial palm tree by the table. It was then that I thought the whole thing was rather unlikely to get off the ground.”
The original concept for the film was funded by Chapman’s close friend Moon, who wanted to play the lead role, but was dropped early on because of his deteriorating health.”
I thought that was a widely known film. I shall add it tot he post list. And maybe the crossover list.
This youngin’ hadn’t heard of it, and I love Python. Many things are unknown to me.
“I used to be with it. Then they changed with *It* was. Now, what I’m with isn’t It, and what’s It is weird and scary.”
Ahem, The Crimson Permanent Assurance.
It’s a cast mash up of Young Frankenstein and Monty Python, and yet it still didn’t work.
Cheech and Chong were in it too, and they were horrible. Tommy Chong specifically was a deadweight when he was in screen.
I think it was a clash of too many talents/chefs in the kitchen.
Words that I didn’t not have in my vocabulary:
Automotive grade urea.
Yeah, you people who live in diesel land probably already knew this, but i never had a diesel. So when my friend said he needed to pick up some DEF, I wondered what that was.
Looking it up, I found that it is distilled water and…. automotive grade urea.
The more you know…..
It’s crap.
That’s what you need to know about it.
Wrong hole!
Diesel cars have a cloaca?
There are two holes side by side under the filler cap.
Something, something, “the shocker”.
Diesel Grade Urea.
Band name, or album?
“Automotive grade urea” sounds like the Transformers’ piss hookers.
https://www.babkush.com/
Jews for Gaza is right up there with Jews for Jesus.
Portland, OR – I think I have a feeling where that is going….
The struggle for Jewish baked goods, good or otherwise, is real.
Mein Gebäckskampf
At the rate things are going, I’m going to have to ask someone to talk to the supervisor of Iran. Where the fuck is Elizabeth Warren when you need her?
She has reservations.
https://www.reddit.com/r/aviation/comments/1s18vw2/front_facing_photo_of_air_canada_laguardia_crash/
Fuuuuck. Fire engine crossed in front of landing CRJ, apparently due to ATC fuckup.
Happy Monday, Glib-sans!
🥱🏯💴
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvuL5jyCHOw
🎶🎶
Morning, Glib-serif
Wouldn’t Glib Dingbats be more appropriate?
No.
Serif and Sans-Serif are a matched set.
This is obviously going to cause a fraktur within the Glibs community….
There’s a new serif in town?
Why, yes, GT, there is.
That’s a bold statement, UCS.
Well, he was picked by some Courier who took a bullet point to the head.
My Consolas to his family.
You guys sure are reliable fonts of information…
[ Swiss gives everyone a massively kerned gaze ]
Ni hao.
Knee Howdy.
Good morning, Sean, U, Ted’S., and homey!
Morning.
How are you today?
I got maybe three hours of sleep, despite my best efforts.
My shoulder is acting up, so I’m going to debate between Tylenol and Advil once I finish breakfast.
I remembered why I needed to buy eggs – I wanted to make keto syrniki, I even went out of my way to find the correct cheese for it. I just forgot that I’d meant to do so over the weekend.
Fuyao is on fire!
So I saw, homey. I guess the storm that blew through didn’t help. (Sounds as if the fire started on the roof before that, though, so probably NOT lightning?)
“Moraine Fire Marshal Doug Hatcher said the fire had started on the roof of the new coding factory.”
Did we have lightning?
I misread that as “Fuego is on Fire” Which gave a very different mental image.
Fuck using music beds in ostensible news stories.
Evil Sheldon:
Not intentionally, and I think not at all. I’ll write up the last two edits of my post at 8:30 EDT.