Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Apr 9, 2026 | Daily Links | 56 comments

Happy Thursday, y’all. The computer system I am responsible for has started doing new and interesting things this afternoon. That’s not usually a good thing. In fact, its downright bad. So please excuse me if I link and run. This is going to be a shit-show, I can already tell. Random help desk tickets from every-fucking-one.

Be that as it may, I would just quit instead of all this. Although, Florida Man does look satisfied.

The Irish have gone French! America should have a lot more tractor blockades than we do.

Probably a violation of her employment contract. But I agree that the prosecution of leaking classified material is very much a political game.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of Americaβ€”Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

56 Comments

  1. kinnath

    bad link on the Irish story

      • cyto

        How is that supposed to work? The refinery pays $130 per barrel for crude, spends a bunch to turn it to diesel and then sells it for $90 per barrel?

        Governments who refuse to remove this type of protester should be replaced.

      • R.J.

        I have a feeling the big prices are because of taxes and other greenie tomfoolery more than just general increases due to the Iran conflict. Kinda like California. I could be wrong. This quote supports my premise:

        β€œAll my work is based off trawlers collecting fish that Spanish trawlers land in Castletownbere but the Spanish trawlers aren’t landing here any more because they can’t afford the fuel – it’s cheaper for them to land back in Spain and refuel there so my work has dried up.”

      • kinnath

        Happy to help

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Maybe the Irish went Florida.

  2. Evan from Evansville

    Just read https://www.zerohedge.com/political/minneapolis-pushes-legalize-sex-bath-houses-gay-somali-immigrants

    “Minneapolis Pushes To Legalize Sex Bath-Houses For Gay Somali Immigrants
    Minneapolis city leaders are barreling ahead with plans to legalize adult bathhouses and sex venues where consenting adults can engage in sexual activity, scrapping a 38-year ban enacted during the AIDS epidemic.”

    This is interesting: “The original 1988 ban drew backing even from within the LGBTQ+ community at the time, including the city’s first openly gay council member, Brian Coyle, who backed the measure before his death from AIDS-related complications in 1991.”

    Biggest issue in the gay+ community? No one cares anymore. That fight’s won. Everything else has been a (mostly bullshit) excuse to draw attention. Now folk are flooded with it, bored by it. When constant attention’s the game, expect flaming attention seekers. “Awareness” simply doesn’t bring in the $$ like it used to!

    I’m not against open sex clubs, but I see no realistic way to keep it safe and consensual. Background checks and certainly an Attractiveness Scale so uggo’s can’t get in and ruin it for mΜ΅eΜ΅ everyone else. That’d make diff clubs for different levels, so folk could fuck folk of ‘equal’ attractiveness quotient. Helluva liability waiver to sign before going in.

    Or the all-purpose places for people who wanna try out anything that may show up. I s’pose that could be fun for folk. *shrug*

    • cyto

      We used to have a couple of sex clubs around here. Deena’s Hideaway and something else. I think they just eventually went under from lack of customers. I dont know anyone who ever admitted to going, and I know some pretty promiscuous folks.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Probably similar to how the people that go naked in public are the ones you don’t want to see naked in public.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Make a legit profile with the club, and set up meets and ya can see the folk who’ve already checked in.

        I’m not into any kinks I know of, but I do like to *see* what I’m fucking first. Seems this could be pretty easily set up, but folk on all ends would have to be honest, yet secretive. Humans aren’t good at those, combined. (But I’d be outstanding!)

        @cyto: How many times did the conversation come up that it needed hiding to begin with? I imagine anyone who brought it up first has either gone or is trying to get others to go with.

      • R.J.

        There was one here called “Zippers.” Best name ever.

      • cyto

        We were young and single and there was a famous swingers club in town. Of course we talked about it.

        In addition to not being my style, my assumption was that the people there would likely be the same folks from nudist camps – 50-something, overly tan, belly…

        The wife ended up on a nude beach by accident with some friends a while back. They reported that there is plenty of bad nudity to be found.

      • Fourscore

        “I wouldn’t belong to any club that would have me” or something like that.

        Somewhere I heard $20 downtown, Maybe Mick could get no satisfaction but for $ 20, my, my…

      • Nephilium

        R.J.:

        When the girlfriend and I were driving through Wisconsin years back, we saw billboards for Beansnappers Adult Club. There were many jokes told about snappy beans the rest of the road trip.

    • The Other Kevin

      Of course RFK Jr. will be blamed for the increase in STD’s.

    • Tonio

      Two snaps and a twist for “flaming attention seekers.”

    • rhywun

      Huh, blaming it on Somalis is an angle I don’t recall the first time this came up the other day.

      But yeah, there is no way to make it “safe”. There are a lot of dangerous things the state has no business banning anyway. People rolling the dice on sex with randos aren’t exactly the risk-free types either.

  3. Evan from Evansville

    Florida Man does look mighty satisfied. “Venice man accused of strangling boss to death with tank top, plotting to bury body in Port Charlotte”

    “Investigators say Richard Barker 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐒𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩π₯𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐒𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐀𝐒π₯π₯𝐒𝐧𝐠, wore a helmet during the attack, and later tried to hide evidence and move the body using a truck and trailer, with plans to bury Hubbard in Port Charlotte.

    𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐀𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 and now faces second-degree murder and evidence tampering charges…”

    Well. We didn’t plan very far ahead, now did we? He does wear a confident mugshot. “Tank top” isn’t often a murder weapon.
    +handy, if not handsome, I s’pose? (Not *that* kind of handy.)

    • The Other Kevin

      The tank top was a good choice. Finding one specific discarded tank top in Florida wouldn’t be easy.

      I’m sure most of us have had that look on our faces at one point while daydreaming about doing something to a shitty boss.

      • Fourscore

        I caught my boss with that same look on his face. What’s up with that?

  4. Shpip

    A former Army employee was arrested and charged with allegedly leaking classified information about a covert military force to a reporter, according to court documents unsealed Wednesday.

    Some time ago, I posited that OMB was using the Ryan Doctrine (you know, Tom Clancy’s protagonist) in holding adversarial heads of state personally responsible for their regime’s bad actions.

    Then I read this, and wonder if “canary traps” are what’s keeping his current administration leak-proof, at least by D.C. standards, so far.

    According to the complaint, Williams worked for the Army between 2010 and 2016 after serving as a contractor and previously enlisting, and held a top secret security clearance. Williams left in 2016, after investigators said she had her access to classified information suspended, “based on an internal investigation” conducted in 2015 and 2016.

    Okay, nevermind. Still, she can remind others that opening your yap to a reporter comes with consequences.

    • Fourscore

      I can appreciate that, DEG, as a used to be Texan, in an interracial marriage.

      I’d kind of forgotten about our happy couple, good to see that they are still there.

  5. DEG

    USPS has a cash problem

    The U.S. Postal Service said Thursday it has informed federal budget officials it will temporarily suspend its employer contributions to Federal Employees Retirement System annuities, allowing it to keep making payroll, paying suppliers and delivering the mail.

    The step taken by the Postal Board of Governors is meant to preserve cash and liquidity due to the Postal Service’s ”ongoing, severe financial crisis,” Postal Service Chief Financial Officer Luke Grossmann said in an internal message to USPS employees. Officials have warned the USPS is on course to run out of cash by around February 2027.

    • Rat on a train

      They would have more money if they didn’t give junk mail a discount.

    • Tonio

      “temporarily suspend its employer contributions to Federal Employees Retirement System”

      No bueno. They will revolt. We’re going to see mail delivery slow down and become even more shitty than it already is.

      • creech

        Slower? How slow can they go? Today I received a check in the mail from 10 miles away, postmarked 4/2. And I received two packages via FedEx delivered from 90 miles away that were just ordered yesterday.

      • rhywun

        I got a SSA form with a 15-day deadline more than a week after the deadline passed.

      • Fourscore

        I had an insured package lost for over a month. Took about 40 days to go 140 miles. Good thing it wasn’t perishable

  6. DEG

    Free The People talks to Afroman about the defamation suit Afroman won. The interview is about twenty minutes. Afroman’s video is a bit shakey. I think he’s using his cell phone as a camera for the interview.

  7. DEG

    A couple days ago 60 Minutes posted a short video they did in the 90s on Boston’s Big Dig about the right people getting paid.

    • cyto

      From the comments:

      Lotta people were able to pay their mortgages working on that project. Took longer than planned was a benefit for workers

    • Rat on a train

      CAHSR can probably stretch so people can work entire careers on a single project.

    • rhywun

      60 Minutes critical of government spending? Those were the days.

    • cyto

      One of us!!

      I saw another clip of his. Smart and funny. I might need to check him out when he hits town

  8. Shpip

    How to lie with statistics 101

    The lede: Florida’s cost-of-living nearly quintupled over past decade: report

    Heaven’s forfend! I need to make five times what I was ten years ago just to keep up? BETSY, CALL THE REALTOR!

    The article: β€œWhat makes the picture especially striking is the pace of change: cost-of-living growth that averaged just 1.3 percent annually during the 2010s surged to 5.8 percent per year in the 2020s, a nearly fivefold acceleration,” the report said. β€œPrice increases in both the Miami and Tampa metropolitan areas outpace the broader Southern region.”

    Oh. So the annual increase blipped up due to demand driving up prices as people fled Covid Craziness up north while the Fed money printer went “Brrrr” simultaneously. And now it’s slowing down.

    I honestly can’t tell if the article is intentionally alarmist, or if the reporterette is merely an economic lackwit. Could be both.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      The article doesn’t support the headline. The rate of growth nearly quintupled, not the cost itself. In math terms, the second derivative was up 5x. The headline writer should be fired for lack of number sense.

  9. rhywun

    THE OTHER KEVIN ON APRIL 9, 2026 AT 03:22 PM [+]
    Wow, I hadn’t thought of adding letters at the BEGINNING. Up to now they just tacked new letters at the end. You have to admire the creativity.

    The more important ones go at the beginning. That’s how gay & lesbian became lesbian, gay, etc.

    • R.J.

      Next I want it to turn into some hybrid of a quadratic equation with letters on top of other letters and some in parenthesis.

    • The Other Kevin

      As with any religion, there are very strict rules.

    • rhywun

      She seems to be “Indigenous” so the pigeonhole she cares the most about goes first. What cutting the money they are throwing at them has to do with the array of “gender identities” she tacked on at the end remains a mystery.

  10. Sensei

    God help me, but I’m mostly with the cop.

    Bonus

    Mitchell, a former prosecutor turned judge, faced backlash for another controversial decision in 2018 when he sentenced a teenager to nine months in prison for fatally beating a homeless man in Manhattan the previous year.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Bang your tin drum, little wind-up monkey

    April 2025 to March 2026 was the warmest 12-month period on record in the continental United States, according to NOAA.

    On March 20 and 21, about one-third of the nation felt unseasonable heat that would have been virtually impossible without human-caused climate change, Climate Central calculated.

    No conceivable alternate explanation. We have controlled every variable but one.

    • Aloysious

      I thought the dreaded El Nino was behind the warmer weather this year.

      How oh how can I appease the God of climate change?

    • R.J.

      Seriously? It was freakin’ cold, and it even iced over solid here. Is this person broadcasting weather from Hell?

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Coverup

    First lady Melania Trump denied that she had close ties with the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein in a surprise public statement Thursday, calling suggestions to the contrary β€œlies.”

    β€œI have never been friends with Jeffrey Epstein,” she said to reporters gathered at the White House. She also denied any friendly relations with Epstein’s co-conspirator Ghislaine Maxwell. She said she had β€œcasual” email correspondence with Maxwell and suggested any association was a result of their inhabiting the same New York social scene.

    The first lady said she has β€œnever had any knowledge of Epstein abuse of his victims.” She observed the existence of what she called β€œfake” images and statements on social media about alleged links with the sex offender.

    It was not immediately clear what images or statements she meant, but she said they had been β€œcirculating on social media for years.” β€œBe cautious about what you believe. These images and stories are completely false,” she said.

    The first lady did not respond to shouted questions from reporters about why she chose to discuss these matters at this moment in time.

    Just what a guilty person would do.

    • Ted S.

      She should claim that Epstein wanted to pass her around the wealthy men.

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