Genre – Western
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hour 49 Minutes
Spoilers – N/A
A Black and White Western headlining Errol Flynn. I got it for $0.25 at Goodwill, in the same box as “The Outlaw”. Lets see if this one is any better. Olivia DeHavilland shares the marquee with Errol. Now, I recognize these names as names, but don’t think I’ve actually seen any of their work before. The digital encoding on this copy, however is distractingly bad. The credits shake like they have the DTs, and the jitter continues into the movie proper. I’m already distracted and it’s going to do a disservice to the content. It’s not the actors’ fault their faces are jumping up and down on the screen. But it is the sort of problem that can drive a man to shut off a movie.
According to the title card, the content is starting in 1854 at West point where cadets on horseback are dismounting, turning in their saddles and going through a roll call. It prods my previously mentioned pet peeve about historicals using real people as we get multiple real Civil War figures in a row. Not a single name called does not belong to a famous participant in the war. Aside from that pet peeve, it flags my bullshit detector. Among those called was James Longstreet – an 1842 graduate who fought in the Mexican-American war. Another was George Custer – Who didn’t Enter until 1857, as he was born in 1839. Hell, just make up your own characters – it will work better. I’m not going to run through all of them, I’m sure every single one of them was transported to this cavalry school AU from reality and are suddenly all the same age and in the same class at the academy.
I’m only two and a half minutes in – this will go poorly.
Anyway, uniformed white guys filmed in black and white tend to all look the same, so I predict a difficulty telling these people apart. I’m unfamiliar with equine husbandry, but was it standard practice to brush down horses with handfuls of straw instead of, say, a brush? As one of the cadets reads a pamphlet from John Brown aloud, I begin to ask when we’re going to get to the west. I ask not because of the argument on abolitionism that follows but because the title of the movie led me to believe we’d have more New Mexico and less New York.
The indistinguishable cadets get into a brawl, and for a moment I thought one of the characters spectating was black – then I realized, no, it was a result of the lighting on the set and the compounding film quality issues over the years plus the poor digitization. How did the audio survive so much better than the video?
Shockingly, they get a historical fact correct, as in their chosen year, the Superintendant of West Point was in fact Brevet Colonel Robert Lee – though they still screw it up by calling him the Commandant. It took me the entire scene where he dresses down the cadets to pin down what was wrong with the actor chosen. It’s his voice. He sounds like a damn Yankee. We finally get an explanation for the title as the brawlers are assigned to the post of Fort Leavenworth at the start of the Sante Fe Trail. This just reinforces my previous opinion that there was no need to yoink all of these Civil War names for the characters. It distracts from the story being told, especially for anyone who is the least bit familiar with the real people. At the graduation, there is a dull speech by the Secretary of War, Jefferson Davis (they got that one correct as well).
I was about to gripe more when I saw the train taking them to Kansas and burst out laughing. It consisted of a locomotive, a coal bunker, and all of three cars. I know it isn’t always practical to get a full-sized train for your movie, but you can position your camera such that it gives the impression the train keeps going. But, they just showed the short bus in all its abbreviated glory.
Two of the indistinguishable cadets shamelessly hit on the female lead in the film appropriate manner of 1940. While looking up the year this was made, I’ve found that Flynn is supposed to be JEB Stuart, while George Custer is being played by… Ronald Reagan. Well, the Stuart connection tells me why they picked 1854 – that is the year he graduated. And he got mixed up in Kansas. I’m wondering if the logic went “Stuart is most famous for his role in the Civil War – we should have the other characters be people from the same event even where it doesn’t make sense.” Custer was Fourteen or Fifteen when Stuart went to Kansas. He can’t get caught up in a love triangle on the shortest train on the plains with a grown woman and a cavalry lieutenant.
I can almost cope with the jittery humans. But the movie has text cards. White text on a grayscale background, meaning it’s not the easiest to read when it stands still. Abused by years of video quality degradation and jumping up and down, it becomes painful. It uses too many of these text cards.
I am not even a quarter of the way in – 21:20 out of 1:49:30, and the poor video quality of this $0.25 acquisition has rendered my eyes dysfunctional. I keep debating between tapping out here or trying again after my eyes have rested up. Logically I know this has no bearing on the film itself, but I don’t know how one would guarantee a better copy if searching for it. While I have abandoned works Because of their content, this would be the first time I’ve dropped something because it was physically difficult to watch. But when I reached out for advice, I realized I was actually just looking for permission – and I’m going to walk away.
First fast. First first. Don’t wait until you see the whites of their eyes.
JUST DO IT
“ Anyway, uniformed white guys filmed in black and white tend to all look the same.”
No joke. You humans need to get different haircuts or facial scars or something.
Pre war German officers have entered the chat.
Agree. AR 670-1 is dumb.
Listening to Sinatra now, since Trump posted “My Way.”
Had a few Old Fashioneds and a hamburger. Worn the heck out.
I did finish the Sasquatch Sunset post but I wish to review it Monday, sober.
A few summers ago on a day where the temperatures were just right to have the AC off and the windows open, I was working for work in a room on the side of my house closest to the road. I heard “I DID IT MY WAY” being sung outside. I look out my window. There is a guy walking down my road singing Frank Sinatra songs at the top of his lungs.
I’ve never seen that guy since.
He got whacked.
Sounds like one of those transfers where a person held a camera up to a screen and filmed it.
The credits shake like they have the DTs, and the jitter continues into the movie proper.
Isn’t there some sort of “frame rate”(?) mismatch in the conversion from film to digital? Every now and then it comes up, and it’s annoying as Hell.
Good movie. Not as weird (good, but weird) as The Outlaw.
Yes, there is. Also as my comment indicated above, people really do transfers by holding a video camera up at a movie screen. Either one can result in flicker and jump.
I’ve seen some like that. The sound is usually bad as well.
According to the intarwebz, Flynn and de Havilland co-starred in eight movies. Their best known collaboration is almost certainly The Adventures of Robin Hood, so you might have a better chance of finding a copy in watchable condition. And since Hood is legendary, albeit in an actual historical setting, it might be slightly better at avoiding anachronisms. Or not.
Having a good background in history is probably not conducive to enjoying much of Hollywood’s treatment of same.
Adventures of Robin Hood is awesome. There is a matching Bugs Bunny cartoon that should be watched before Robin Hood.
The cartoon won’t spoil the movie, will it? I can no longer watch the scene in the original Frankenstein with the Monster and the old man without cracking up thinking of Gene Hackman’s scene in Young Frankenstein.
And Robin Hood Daffy (him with Porky; no Bugs).
UCS, you haven’t seen Gone With the Wind? /faints delicately
☕️ for GT
Don’t you worry, never fear. Robin Hood will soon be here!
@Toxteth – No, I have not. To be honest, the movie never appealed to me.
My people.
No. It makes the movies more special.
Daffy > Bugs. No contest. Arguably, my spirit cartoon. A much angrier Costanza, but still as inept.
That is all.
GWTW is a classic for a reason, and unlikely to offend anyone here.
Chuck Jones said (paraphrasing) that Bugs is who we want to be, but Daffy is who most of us are.
There’s a reason I chose the phrasing of “never appealed to me”.
And for these reviews, I think it comes out funnier when I can complain. Some of the items on the list are classics, but they’re there because I already owned them.
Yeah, Bugs is kind of an asshole.
They obviously don’t want him in Albuquerque.
There’s a good chance I saw that movie in the ’40s. Bijou theater, Mpls, continuous Western movies, Sunday. Whole family could go for a dollar, always a double feature Western. No popcorn but my Mom always smuggled in treats in her pocketbook. One of the few entertainments on a limited budget
I don’t remember it though.
I’m going to walk away.
You made the right choice.
Canucks growing a backbone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hV2LaAHGbo
I expect that it’s not enough.
Gonna need a bigger bathtub
Olivia DeHavilland shares the marquee with Errol. Now, I recognize these names as names, but don’t think I’ve actually seen any of their work before.
🤯 🤦♂️
Robin Hood being the classic pairing, but my favorites are My Cousin Rachel (her sister Joan Fountaine did Rebecca) and Master of Ballantree.
At some point when you feel like it, you must see Errol Flynn’s version of Robin Good.
The sword play is a little cheesy, but Basil Rathbone plays the Sheriff, which makes the movie.
“Elementary, my dear Loxley.”
Large. Exactly.
dammit editor: Laugh.
Dad did Basic at Ft. Leavenworth in the late 60s. He took us there in the late 90s, maybe, to show us around. Understandably, he fucking hated that place. We didn’t really see much going on, and Dad decided to steal something, and a (short) human-sized shooting target was there for the takin’. So we put “Charlie” in the backseat and drove off with it, surprisingly, without anyone saying a damn thing. For a while, he lived by our ‘It’ll do’ batting cage/net in our backyard.
“Anyway, uniformed white guys filmed in black and white tend to all look the same, so I predict a difficulty telling these people apart.”
See also: Korean students.
I’m not sure I’ve seen much Flynn, either. Nor Reagan, but it’s another perfect ‘coincidence’ he was Prez during Back to the Future. (Of course Doc remembers him!)
Didn’t know JEB was a bit of a dandy, either: “While he cultivated a cavalier image (red-lined gray cape, the yellow waist sash of a regular cavalry officer, hat cocked to the side with an ostrich plume, red flower in his lapel, often sporting cologne), his serious work made him the trusted eyes and ears of Robert E. Lee’s army and inspired Southern morale.”
Damn. Ya walk ’round like that in war? Ya best be goooood. “He was mortally wounded at the Battle of Yellow Tavern.” Well. Whoops.
Green guy? Those were Ivans when I was in.
Absolutely was a little green guy! (Sorry, RJ.) Stout fella. Was holding a (painted on) rifle, IIRC.
Ah, the Ivans. Evan’d like to shoot an Ivan. (Been a long time since I’ve shot anything. Shooting a namesake? Good ju-ju. Cuz.)
All right, I’ll give in to peer pressure.
I went and put in an order for a copy of every iteration of Robin Hood I’ve not watched that I could turn up in a five minute Amazon search.
You want Robin Hood – How about SIX!
MUAHAHAHAhahahaha… ha… ha… … What did I just get myself into?
A lot. Enjoy!
I ‘know’ you’ve seen it. And I know it’s a stupid, (fairly) nonsensical flick, with an oddly American Robin of the Hood, but the ’91 one w Costner, Rickman, Freeman and Slater is just, *mwah.* It’s far too much fun for me to give any bit of a damn about its accuracy or portrayals.
“Why a spoon, cousin?”
“Because it’s DULL, you twit! It’ll HURT MORE!”
^^
That’ll do, Rickman! His wicked witch is also delightfully sinister. Very much a family event, for us (minus Dad).
Rickman was the best part of that movie. He knew it was cheesy and played it accordingly.
A year later, in “They died with their boots on”, Flynn plays Custer and Olivia plays his wife, Libby. With the U.S. about to enter WW2, Hollywood portrays Custer as an heroic officer, fighting for his country against impossible odds.