Taking the plunge – and marrying a river
There’s something afoot in the woods today. Bubble-headed humanoid figures bump clumsily through the trees, making their way down to the water’s edge accompanied by flute and drum. Here comes Frog, with bulgy red eyes, followed by stripe-faced Badger and a slim figure with a massive salmon on her head. I wanted to be Otter, but Otter is taken, so I end up as Barn Owl.
All around us, wild garlic bursts through the leaf litter, like clean green licks of paint, and every passing bootprint sends a pungent plume into the air. Blackbird song and the glockenspiel gurgle of the playful young River Tone provide the soundtrack to this morning’s ceremonials, and behind our papier-mache masks we’re all a little overexcited.
Responding to the call put out by Extinction Rebellion to mark World Water Day on 22 March, the artistsformallyknownasWiveyXR – creative people from nearby Wiveliscombe – decided to pledge their allegiance to the Tone at Hurstone nature reserve, close to the village of Waterrow on the edge of Exmoor national park.
The idea was inspired by a young Bristol-based activist called Megan who married her local river, the Avon, in 2023. Campaigns like those of Surfers Against Sewage, the recent TV series Dirty Business, films such as Jo in the Water and Rave on for the Avon, and books such as Robert Macfarlane’s Is a River Alive? and Amy-Jane Beer’s The Flow have galvanised people into action. Today’s nuptials are held in the same spirit, because, for all the fancy dress, everyone knows this is a serious business: of the 3,553 river stretches in England assessed by the Rivers Trust, 0% – that is none – were in good overall status.
Donald Trump was stunned to learn that Kristi Noem’s husband is a secret cross-dresser who experts say could have compromised national security, the President revealed in an exclusive phone interview with the Daily Mail on Tuesday.
The Daily Mail revealed that the ex-DHS Secretary’s husband Bryon Noem, 56, sent compromising pictures of himself wearing fake breasts in tight clothing to fetish porn models online.
A spokesman for Noem, 54, claimed that the family was ‘blindsided’ by Bryon’s cross-dressing history – adding that his wife of 34 years is ‘devastated.’
The Daily Mail called Trump to field his reaction just weeks after he fired Kristi as the Secretary of Homeland Security following bipartisan backlash over the agency’s aggressive immigration enforcement tactics and scrutiny of a controversial $220 million advertising campaign that wasn’t approved by the President.
The President told the Daily Mail he was surprised to hear the Noem family did not deny the shocking report into Bryon’s lewd online behavior.
‘They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that’s the case, that’s too bad,’ Trump said in a phone call.
‘I haven’t seen anything. I don’t know anything about it. That’s too bad, but I just know nothing about it,’ Trump added.
Trump says he may try to pull U.S. out of NATO since allies “weren’t there for us” in Iran war
President Trump has told Britain’s Telegraph newspaper he could attempt to terminate American membership in the NATO defense alliance that the U.S. helped create more than seven decades ago as a bulwark against the communist Soviet Union’s expansionist agenda in Europe.
Mr. Trump has railed against NATO allies for refusing to join the war against Iran, though he did not consult with them in advance or involve them in any planning for its economic and security fallout.
Asked by The Telegraph’s Washington correspondent if he would consider ending U.S. membership in the alliance after the Iran war, Mr. Trump said: “Oh yes, I would say [it’s] beyond reconsideration. I was never swayed by NATO. I always knew they were a paper tiger, and (Russian President Vladimir) Putin knows that too, by the way.”
‘I haven’t seen anything. I don’t know anything about it. That’s too bad, but I just know nothing about it,’ Trump added.
Just something that someone who knew all about it would say.
It’s time for Germany to take control.
Are you sure it isn’t the forth time?
Here comes Frog, with bulgy red eyes, followed by stripe-faced Badger and a slim figure with a massive salmon on her head.
So far, a toadally ribbeting story.
I wanted to be Otter, but Otter is taken, so I end up as Barn Owl.
Those critters are small, so there should be plenty of room for a pair. One can be in the river, the other in otter space.
That story was a hoot.
Tonight’s Trump announcement should be exciting. Nuke Iran? Ground invasion? Pull out of NATO? Declare victory and walk away from the Middle East? Or a giant nothing burger.
Something as coherent as Pete – “Regime change has occured in Iran but they are just “not aware of it”?
https://x.com/i/status/2039388275534659645
Pete’s not wrong (but he just doesn’t know it.)
The IRGC has gone from being the power behind the Council of Guardians, to the being the de facto government of Iran. That’s a regime change, although probably not one for the better.
Introduce the heir to the Peacock Throne as the rightful ruler of Persia?
Announce the first US citizen conceived in space?
He is winning his NCAA tournament group?
Dumping Melania and marrying Kristi?
Only if she wears her husband’s jugs.
He saved on his car insurance by switching to a different insurance company?
OMG BABY GOAT SQUEEE!!!
10/10 would do yoga with.
I wonder what they taste like. I need something to wash out the taste after reading about those furry weirdos.
Assuming you mean goats, they’re quite gamey — like lamb turned up to thirteen.
I like it, but it’s not everyone’s cuppa.
behind our papier-mache masks we’re all a little overexcited.
No shit, Shirley?
‘They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that’s the case, that’s too bad,’ Trump said in a phone call.
See? See what a hateful bigot he is?
President Trump has told Britain’s Telegraph newspaper he could attempt to terminate American membership in the NATO defense alliance
I’ll believe it when I see it.
Just posturing.
The professional bullshitter is bullshitting again.
It does cause the career politicians to go bonkers and chase the laser pointer {which can be amusing to watch}.
He’s tanned, rested, and ready
In a stunning political development, Politico reported yesterday that former President Joe Biden is “strongly considering” a 2028 presidential run, citing what unnamed aides described as “unfinished business” and a “burning desire to restore normalcy.”
According to senior Democratic sources, Biden has been “sharper than ever” during his time at his Rehoboth Beach compound, where he’s reportedly been holding daily strategy sessions with a small circle of trusted advisors.
ROFLMAO.
I believe more in aliens than i do this:
I envision Biden sitting around a child’s playset having tea parties with an assortment of stuffed animals and dolls.
Ashley’s dolls…
At this point he’s sitting in a rocking chair with a blanket on his lap, staring out the window.
talking to his reflection in the glass
“If only they had that debate between 10am when you wake up, and noontime before your daily nap, you would have been president, Brandon.”
He should announce while visiting Bernie Sanders’ beach house over the weekend.
OMG please make this happen.
That’s literally what they claimed 2 years ago, immediately after his debate debacle that showed the world his brain was pudding.
By “unfinished business”, are they talking about finally, after his “daily strategy sessions” being able to answer one of the questions asked 2 years ago?
And I assume that by “normalcy” they mean allowing illegals to flood the border by the millions per year again.
The fuck outta here with all of that.
You have checked today’s date and the embedded links in the article, right?
According to senior Democratic sources, Biden has been “sharper than ever” during his time at his Rehoboth Beach compound, where he’s reportedly been holding daily strategy sessions with a small circle of trusted advisors.
Keith Richards’ doctor is treating him?
I know a guy who was in a bar last night with Joe in Rehoboth. Joe was watching tv and he got every answer right on Jeopardy and solved every one of Vanna’s puzzles with just one letter revealed. He had a few brews with Corn Pop and offered to take on all comers out in the alley.
Jill, Hunter and the handlers should be ashamed of themselves.
Joe is an elderly man (but you already know that) whose health is slipping away, something that happens to all of us. Pretending that he is different from others his age is not helpful.
The retread guy on the world stage is also in a personal game of pretend. It’s not bullshit if he believes in himself but it is denial on the rest of the co-conspirators.
It reads like an April Fools joke.
I just learned what it takes to make Kristi Noem a sympathetic figure.
First day of trucking school went well. Today’s truckerism: sailboat fuel. It refers to a trailer which is incorrectly marked as carrying HAZMAT.
I found the entire original radio series of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy on YouTube and have enjoyed several hours of sweet nostalgia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dllzbw6LB58
and here is the full version of the theme which I was also delighted to find:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZdZKolMIl0
Regarding Busty Byron Noem:
If someone has a sexual proclivity, and said proclivity would be highly embarrassing or damaging, why is it so hard to just keep it to yourself?? Why do these people always take pictures and videos with their real face in it? It should be well known at this point that almost anything stored electronically is liable to get leaked. Getting escorts and/or hookers involved is even stupider. They’re obviously out to make money, and they have a strong incentive to blackmail you or sell the evidence to the media.
Some people like to live dangerously.
Even more people don’t look at even the near-term future, much less the unending future about what you put on the WWW. I have no pity for this guy.
Most of today’s youth are truly fucked when in 10-15 years they want to leave their youthful stupidity behind. I do stand the chance of feeling for them.
Some of us will be looking at the nasty things they said in the past and think, ‘this kids all right’ he has the same sort of wrong think as I do and hire accordingly.
Oh hell yeah 🎶
One of their best
Artemis II launch window opens in less than 15 minutes.
I don’t want anyone getting hurt on that woke junk heap. Hope it goes well.
But no matter the result, the first black Asian trans otherkin will have worked on the it.
That’s what’s important, bigot.
Looks like its a go. Waiting for hold to clear and into the T – count.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LICENSEPLATES/s/7j2bMjpvTl
lol