Federal judges targeted nationwide by "pizza doxxings" As federal judges endure a rise in threats, CBS News has learned that some jurists have faced strange, unnerving incidents in which an unknown person orders a pizza to their home address in an apparent attempt to...
“You want a baby that can catch and eat a mouse? I can find you a baby that can catch and eat a mouse,” the hat said, brimming with confidence. “I don’t want a baby that can catch and eat a mouse,” the hair said. “Why not?” “Because it’s gross,” the hair replied....
NYC Mayor Mamdani releases 9/11 records showing officials misled New Yorkers about air quality around Ground Zero New York — New York City has released more than 170,000 pages of previously undisclosed records about air quality following the September 11, 2001,...
“$LAPTOP memecoin will make us enough money to run for President,” Dark Cracky said, quivering with excitement. “I wish I had hands to rub together in greedy triumphant.” Hunter sucked another lungful of Cracky’s sweet cracky goodness. “You are very wise,” he said and...
Now it is 1984Knock-knock at your front doorIt's the suede denim secret police Kemptville, Ont. grocer seen selling American wine despite U.S. liquor banA grocery store south of Ottawa has removed its stock of California wines from its shelves after customers raised...
Verity Trueheart ran as if someone was chasing her. She was a gangly girl with bright green hair who believed abortion was a human right and the cruel regime of her stepfather wanted to oppress her. She ran from The Beast, with his bulging muscles and manly sweat. She...
Ova.
Thin.
Slate offers advice to deaf ears. There’s One Word the Left Needs to Start Saying if They Want to Win Hong is tempering herself here. You can find a ho-hum plea for unity in her answer, as well as a guarded concession that Thanksgiving is a holiday that the vast...
I first spotted her on the bus home as it dragged and bumped along a blighted stretch of New England. She had the Innsmouth look about her, easy to spot if your route took you through the shabby little port town, with its sagging roofs and rotting pier. I had looked...
I have some bad news...Rosie O’Donnell Is Back in the USA Donald Trump has forced more than one comedian into a bout of seeming madness. How odd that the same guy who once could have run into Kathy Griffin, Jimmy Kimmel, and Stephen Colbert at Emmys after-parties...
“I told you that evil little dwarf was going to take the 5th,” the hat said, the lights of the TV reflected in his bulbous bloodshot eyes. “But he’s been pardoned,” the hair said. “I didn’t think he could take the 5th.” “You watch too many gangster movies,” the hat...
Sweltering NYC hit by Canadian wildfire smoke — and it may only get hazierIt’s going to get hazier before it gets better. The Big Apple is under an Air Quality Health Advisory as the Canadian and Great Lake wildfire smoke slowly takes over our skies. The air pollution...
Mitch moaned and advanced on Elaine as she brandished a cattleprod. “We have to get you to the Senate!” she said loudly. They had to swaddle him just that morning to sew an ear back on, the sheets they used were piled on the floor, soaked with unspeakable fluids....
COPE, The Musical Who Could Replace Graham Platner? Democrats’ brief experiment in letting their hair down and nominating a Senate candidate who makes them feel edgy has all but concluded. After a well-corroborated Politico story in which an ex claimed that Graham...
"Whoa, there, tough guy... Are you planning to rape me with your shuckin' dick?" "It’s hard to not be smug,” Lump purred. “I wanted Platner as my plaything in the Senate, but this will do nicely.” “I can excuse the Nazi tattoo, and the stalking, and the jacking off in...
“President Biden,” Hunter said dreamily. He was in his favorite tattered robe and he had been masturbating to pictures of his hottest cousin until Cracky made him as soft as steamed celery. “I could be the first President Biden.” “And we’ll fix that darn Reflecting...
“Juden raus!” Graham’s tattoo growled. “Would you just chill out?” Graham whispered. “Maine will be cleansed,” the tattoo replied. Graham walked out on the union-assembled stage, loose bolts and writhing electrical cables. “Everyone… the next Senator of Maine!” the...
Think of it as Evolution in action.
The party sounded terrible, but I let Mike talk me into it over the phone. I imagined his face: square jaw, square head, and huge square glasses. I hadn't talked to Mike since high school and we didn't part on the best of terms. He probably heard about Jennifer and...
So how is SugarFree's life going right now? The pic sums it up pretty well. Who is Aaron Rose Philip, the first African-American transgender model with cerebral palsy to attend the 2026 Met Gala? Aaron Rose Philip made history at the 2026 Met Gala, becoming the first...
“I love being hated,” the hat said. “The retarded parts of the country hate me. They should. I’d kill them all if I could.” “They hate Donald too,” the hair said sleepily. “It’s good to be hated by bad people,” the hat said. “I want to bathe in their agony and...
“They tried to kill me!” the hat screamed in the Presidential Beast as he and Donald and the hair drove back to the White House. “He tried to kill all three of us,” the hair said. His voice was shaky and tired. “Butler, the golf course, and now this shit!” “It took a...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n7eNFj_9Vk "Grill me, broil me, sear me on a griddle. I have such sights to show you! MEAT SIGHTS!" "I don't care that it's black as long as it looks classy. It looks classy, right? I'm going to fuck Dick Cheney with it." My Dad Used...
“I really thought the Iran War would be more fun,” the hat said. Donald grumbled as he pissed in the ficus behind the Resolute desk. “How is that thing even still alive?” the hair asked the hat. “Iran? I dunno.” “The ficus, stupid,” the hair said. “I’m not stupid,...