Or how Pie obtained an Americaneze Visa.
I got my first Visa in university from the Commercial Bank of Romania to get my scholarship moneys. But this is not that kind of visa; this is the one which allows people to visit the distant shores of the U S of A.
So how did this come to pass? You are probably wondering how i ended up in this situation. It started when, after years of lurking on reason dot com, I ill-advisedly decided to create a user on glibertarians dot com and started commenting and even writing. And the rest, as they say, is whatever they say the rest is.
How does one from the less than civilized parts of civilized Europe go about these sort of things? Well I had my bio-metric passport made in 2021 and it is good till 2031 so I had that sorted. While most of my travels in the EU did not require a passport, it was useful to cut the line at the airport by using the automatic passport control, which required such a passport. Now even that is no longer necessary, since Romania is in Schengen and there is no passport control. I have used the passport to travel to the lands of the savage Scots post brexit.
In order to Americanize myself, first I had to fill in the DS-160 form online, on one of the more primitive sites in the world wide web. This took about an hour or so and required a picture of specific dimensions. To save myself the trouble, I paid 30 lei to a website where one uploaded a selfie and it is made to the exact specifications of the US Government. The form is long and full of bullshit. I gave a bunch of information about myself, my job, my education, my family, my background, lack of criminal record, et cetera. I filled in my various social media platforms, I suppose to make sure I do not say mean things about the USA. I clicked endless check boxes saying that no, I am not in organized crime, I am not a terrorist, my family is none of those things either. I do not plan to smuggle drugs or traffic people in the US. I do not intend to commit crime there. Indeed, I did not engage in genocide, ethnic cleansing, war crimes. I certainly did not force women to undergo abortion or sterilization against their will. And so on and so forth. Having done all that, I submitted the form and got my confirmation which I had to print out. Step one done.
Using the form Confirmation number, I went on a different shitty site and programmed my interview. This was in two stages, first I had to pay the 180 dollars American fee, and when the fee was processed I managed to secure an appointment for about 2 weeks in the future, at 9 15. Now we wait. The paying online was one improvement from a few years ago, when you had to physically go to a branch of Banca Transilvania to pay.
On the faithful day, I arrived at the US embassy in Bucharest. This is rather inconvenient as it is a bit far outside the city and it is hard to get there via public transport. No matter, I used my car and found parking a few minutes walk away. I left all electronic devices including my phone in the car and went to the embassy with a folder of paperwork I needed and the passport. When I arrived at 8 55, I found out that while the US embassy knows how to take reservations, they don’t know how to hold reservations. I said I had an appointment for 9 15 and I was dully directed towards a line with the information that it is basically first come first serve and i should wait in line. The line moved fairly reasonably I guess, thought people with small children were directed to go to the front.
George Carlin: “we would like to pre-board those passengers traveling with small children.” Well what about those passengers traveling with large children? Suppose you have a two year-old with a pituitary disorder! You know, a six-foot infant with an oversized head, the kind of kids you see in the National Inquirer all the time.
Anyway the line was in the sun during a heatwave and though just 9 in the morning, it was already above 30C and the sun was hot. But wait in line I did. After a while, about 3 at a time, we were let in the embassy. The first time in an inner courtyard to wait some more. This time there was a roof and seating and some large fans on the ceiling. Also in the vein of the American free water concept, a fountain of cold filtered water to drink. Here I think I lost a couple of places in line because moving to the next stage did not seem to respect the exact order of arrival and you had to be on your toes to get in front. After waiting some time we were let in, in groups of 20 in the actual embassy. There we waited in line number 3 for someone to see our appointment paperwork. After that we waited in line number 4 to have our passport validated. Good passport in hand we waited in line number 5 to get our fingerprints taken. Finally I got to wait in line number 6 for the actual interview. I had thought it was in some private room for each but not, just a line of windows where you could hear other people answering.
I finally got my turn and talked to some American dude there about who I am, where I am going, my job and how the semiconductor industry is doing well, if I have friends or relatives in the US and so one. I was a fairly friendly chat rather than interrogation and after 3 minutes or so I was informed my visa was approved and I will get my passport back in two to four business days with the visa applied. Overall I was back at the car at 9 55 so an hour total at the embassy. I feel for someone low risk like me this could be done online, like that proverbial meeting that could have been an email. I believe that to renew the visa I do not need to physically go to the embassy, but in 10 years maybe we are let back in the visa waiver thing.
I actually got an email the same day that my passport is ready and I can pick it up the next day. Fortunately the pickup spot is in the city conveniently close to me so pickup is not hard. FUN FACT: the only place for passport pickup, if you do not want it by courier, is at a place called VFS Global which outsources visa and paperwork stuff for various governments. The Bucharest office does things for Canada and it is based in Montreal Square, Bucharest in a building called the world trade center. OK maybe not that fun, you had to be there kind of a thing. Aaaanyhooo…
Now that the visa is out of the way, I have to see where it gets me. Either way you bunch of bastards are officially on notice. You need to treat me with more respect around here cause as of now, on a moments notice, I can get on a plane, fly to the States, find out where you live and kick your sue* you for emotional damage.
*Can anyone recommend a good lawyer?
I have become unpleasantly aware of how idiotic the Canadian taxes are if one plans to bring a few bottles of beverage in the country. what the fuck. lame and gay. i traveled all over Europe with my luggage full of booze and no one said nothing.
I shall still attemt to get some whisky from the US back to Canadia though and I will need some glib help/advice from one who would travel to the gulch
Just remember, Pie, if you ask for a lawyer, they will bring you an avocado.
whaddup doh’
/live from a hazardous waste incinerator in NE Ohio
Live from NYC 23rd Street
Are you guys having a smelly surroundings contest?
Lol
Depending on the Ave you are within blocks of me right now.
I am walking down the High Line so 10th Ave.
I’m over on the east side!
So a ways away!
Next week I’ll be doing a sewage sludge incinerator. Smells more like Philly than NYC.
Like, a whole mile?
The neighborhood is almost 100 yards long and I can hear lawn mowers!
They’re just letting anyone in these days still, huh?
only the classiest of people.
I hope you get detained by ICE. Not placed in the section with the browns, but at least the one for the white immigrants.
in the end i did decided rent a car and try driving cause there were no better options.
That really is the American way. It’s too big of a place and public transport is for the poors. And American poors are violent poors in general as you’ve observed even from over there.
This.
Uber is viable for travel within the neighborhood or suburb.
Rental car for metropolitan up to regional travel.
Airplane for inter-regional travel unless you want to do a road trip.
Welcome to the US of A!
You are a more patient person than I, Mr Pie
I can understand what the illegals do what they do.
Too early for HH, too bad. Good that you have a chance to visit the US and better still meet some of the Glibs.
That was a test unique to your country. Any applicants who survived had gotten over the first hurdle.
I do not plan to smuggle drugs or traffic people in the US. I do not intend to commit crime there. Indeed, I did not engage in genocide, ethnic cleansing, war crimes. I certainly did not force women to undergo abortion or sterilization against their will.
You are much more boring than I had imagined.
Welcome to
CostcoAmerica. I love you.Looking forward to Pie’s Grand American tour.
3 days is not that grand but maybe next year
Pie’s American Long Weekend doesn’t have the same impact.
Weekend at Oldman’s
Are you picking up Mitch on the way?
Mitch McConnell ? no room in the car
Strap him in a chair on the roof Vacation style
“72 Hours in Hell!”
Or how Pie obtained an Americaneze Visa.
Undead mind control?
Sounds a lot like getting my visa to visit China only way more onerous and more lines.
I mean the lines could be seen as one line divided in steps…
I think it was a couple lines and the briefest of chats at a window. Embassy also inconveniently located on like 12th Ave. Manhattan.
The missus got one of the quick check in line cards a few years ago. The interview was quite long (no one else waiting) and the interviewer was enjoying the conversation. I could hear them laughing. Mrs F said the interview lasted a couple minutes but the gov guy was more interested in Viet Nam and her travels than worrying about her having been an illegal.
Had to go to the border crossing at International Falls for the interview.
Congratulations, Pie. Meant sincerely.
Thank you, Chafed!
Y’all want an essay, should I live that long?
in the end i did decided rent a car and try driving cause there were no better options.
USA! USA!
I had argued in the past that a lot of CTE research is kind of bunk. They attribute things like elevated risk of suicide to CTE, yet when you look at the population of NFL players and compare it to the general population and similar demographics it’s lower. That was the case for most of the symptoms I found ascribed to it based on small sample sizes.
A new study has at least answered my complaints a bit. NFL players are 3-4x as likely to suffer dementia and Parkinson’s than the general pop.
Of course, NFL players also live longer than the average person. I still find the entire narrative that’s been crafted here a bit…puzzling. The argument is the NFL downplayed the risk of concussions. It’s not even clear that concussions are necessarily where most of the damage is done with regards to CTE. CTE itself has been observed in individuals who had no real symptoms ascribed to it. In short, it’s brain scarring that can maybe lead to elevated risks of certain things.
But we all always knew that taking repeated blows to the head was a bad thing. Science has simply named it and observed the mechanisms and some retired NFL players cashed in from it. And the media that rakes in money covering the sport, but which finds it offensive to their sensibilities because of its violent nature were all too happy to play the role of moral scold.
And then you have the dopey fans who sit there and pretend to care about CTE and player safety. Playing American football will never be *safe.* in anyway shape or form. You could say they could eliminate the hitting, but CTE has been observed in high rates in the brains of female soccer players. Which makes me laugh because in high school I heard the trainer mock that group because they were the ones who were most likely to come in complaining about being hurt. But I digress…
There’s this class of fan that cheers on safety measures because they have convinced themselves its the right thing to do. Then when the guys who play the actual fucking games buck back or do something that was perfectly acceptable five years ago they get out the pitch forks to condemn them. Call for fines and suspensions. Is this because they actually care, or because they are engaging in good old fashioned virtue signaling? If you find the NFL or any sport barbaric, stop fucking watching it. Don’t support it with your wallet. They can’t and won’t do that, though. Because that’d require personal accountability and giving up something that’s popular and which they enjoy engaging.
They’ve found CTE scarring in people who played sports at even the high school level. I’m sure you could extend that back to pop warner or youth leagues if they had a chance to look more often.
But yea, again…we know that getting hit in the head isn’t a good thing overall. But from my admittedly amateur opinion the research here is even flimsier than the climate shit.
I say we round up all the young Democrats to do a study where we beat half of them about the head daily for a year and then let them live their lives compiling data on their experiences, and killing and dissecting the brains of say 10% every decade to correlate scarring with life experiences at various ages.
Fuck SAP.
How do you expect to get maple syrup without sap?
Corn syrup and coal tar derivatives obviously.
Richard always sends some to his real friends.
I should probably ask Mr With Candy if it’s okay to drop in when you’re in his area – It would be rude to not check with the local host first.
You could stop at the restaurant for a meal.
Give the Employee From Hell a zero tip, too.
Ted, it would have to be spectacularly awful service for me to not leave a tip.
It was the Terra Cotta, right?
keep in mind the buses are pretty bad and you would need to drive.
🚗 *beep* *beep*
All those lines. It’s almost like someone is nostalgic for Communism.
Did Romania have lines? I thought they were the no food for citizens, food is for export brand of Communism.
I think all the European Communist countries had lines.
I poked around on the Intertubes. I found this (trigger warning: reddit) post showing a picture of a line for cooking oil in the 1980s in Romania.
This page on Romanian Communist era jokes includes this one:
Why is that in Romania shops are built five kilometers away apart? Otherwise, the lines would merge.
Upon consideration, I now get why so many people try to walk over the border if it’s presented as an option.
Is this procedure similar when people travel to other countries besides the US? Or out of the US? The only experience I had was getting a passport to travel to the Dominican Republic, and that was much less time consuming.
I visited the UK when US citizens could tourist for 90 days without a Visa.
I visited Canukistan before things got tense.
Both times I just showed up at a point of entry and showed my passport.
Never visited a country where I needed a Visa.
I needed a visa to travel to Russia in the 94-97 time frame. The first several trips, we could only get a single trip visa. After going multiple times, they let us get a multi-trip visa that was good for a year.
I traveled without visas to UK, Netherlands, France, Germany, Canada, China (not sure about that one), Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong, and Australia.
Of course, I haven’t been out of the US since 2006. The world may well have changed since then.
I haven’t been out of the US in about 6-7 years. I know someone who just left for England and Hungary (Tues) – she who cannot get a glibs account to comment, FWIW… – and the England one is much more onerous than it was the last time I went there. Picture, money, bunch of questions, wait for approval.
For fun, I tried to apply using a gorilla flipping off the camera but it continuously failed to validate. A chimp mooning the camera similarly failed to upload. Racists.
validating closing tags also failed to upload….
“…I found out that while the US embassy knows how to take reservations, they don’t know how to hold reservations.”
That’s how Seinfeld lost his rental car.
“I know what a reservation is.”
“I don’t think you do! If ya did, I’d have a car right now!”
There were lines everywhere. There was no food but hope springs eternal. The gas lines were overnight and you had to sleep in the car to not lose your spot
Goddamn fail the stupid wordpress asked my to select pictures of bycicles then gave an error and this
Bravo on the title. Way to lean into the joke.
Agreed.
It was a thing of beauty.
I got three passports, a couple of visas
You don’t even know my real name
https://youtu.be/jLwZvg46jms?si=rtCXFHJ9qxZIpwvX
Best Talking Heads song ever.
This ain’t no Mudd Club! Or CBGBs! I think I encountered Hilary at the latter on a weekend arvo some time ago.
I’m curious about what your must-sees and must-gos are and excited for your potential meetups with others. Fun exploration! The worst and longest part of any visa I’ve done was getting the FBI background check done. That was 6-8wk for them to find nothing. I’m such a goody-two-shoes. (Read: I’ve never been caught, but I’ve also never done anything ‘bad,’ so YMMV. (Illegal, yes. Bad? No.))
malum prohibitum but not malum in se
For now just the gulch. My understanding is the one must see thing in america is the canyon
Which canyon – there are quite a few in this country.
Which canyon – there are quite a few in this country.
Christy Canyon.
You probably want to be careful searching for that….
I would argue Yellowstone National Park surpasses it.
Ten Sleep Canyon isn’t as enormous but I think it’s more beautiful. But If I had to pick one drive to recommend to a visitor it would be the Beartooth and Chief Joseph Highways.
This is how I imagine many of Tres’ dreams start.
Boo!
Musk won’t let me play the video.
But you’re probably not wrong.
Adventures in Chinese Subcontracting
Shpip or Old Man might have some ideas for shipping your whisky out of America.
There is always your prison wallet…