IFLA: The “Sticks” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of March 19

by | Mar 19, 2023 | IFLA | 25 comments

Gotta keep a strong neck to throw your opponents

Mark your calendar!  Wednesday is going to be super-lucky as all sorts of auspicious signs come together.  Well, six, but they are six good ones.  Well, only two are purely lucky, but the others are lucky in context with those two.  So the moon and Mercury symbolize luck (in the generic sense) but, at that time, the moon begins to wax from new which turns it into a lucky symbol.  Then Mercury, as part of this multi-planet alignment, is between the Sun and Jupiter which are unabashedly good.  So even though Mercury can be a capricious little shit at times, it has the two biggest boys on the block keeping keeping him in line.

The next good day is on Friday, when the Moon and Venus come to play, making it a day that even OMWC’s old biddies will put out on.  To assist with the Love Magik, remember to incorporate green, copper, and vast amounts of wine.

The cards disagree with the stars’ positive outlook for the week.

Pisces: Page of Cups reversed – Taste, inclination, attachment, seduction, deception, artifice.

Aries: 3 of Coins reversed – Mediocrity, puerility, pettiness, weakness.

Taurus: 7 of Swords reversed – Good advice, counsel, instruction, slander, babbling.

Gemini: King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.

Cancer: 6 of Wands reversed – Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, indefinite delay.

Leo: 9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair. 

Virgo: The Sun reversed – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment. Lesser than if the card had been drawn upright.

Libra: 8 of Wands – Activity, great haste, great hope, the arrows of love. 

Scorpio: The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.

Sagittarius: 6 of Coins reversed – Desire, cupidity, envy, jealousy, illusion.

Capricorn: The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

Aquarius: Ace of Coins – The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

25 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    Virgo: The Sun reversed – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment. Lesser than if the card had been drawn upright.
    I like it, Tall Smoothies in the air!

    • creech

      You mean my regional bank stock is going to start back up? Even that isn’t in the Stars…I’m still waiting for it to recover its 2007 price.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 6 of Coins reversed – Desire, cupidity, envy, jealousy, illusion.

    Sounds like a good week to go into the banking dodge.

  3. LCDR_Fish

    Pud, I’ll look for the Tordon – I’ve only used Spectracide Stump Remover so far.

  4. Tundra

    She’s so proud of herself!

    Leo: 9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair.

    Yikes!

    • Bob Boberson

      Out of curiosity, whats the difference between those and a T-bone?

      • Sean

        More filet meat.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My local meat shop doesn’t get it. Or the importance of marbling.

      • Sean

        *sad trombone*

    • EvilSheldon

      I had a strip on Friday, and a STRIP last night. I’m going vegan for the rest of the weekend. Just let me finish this bagel and lox first…

  5. Don escaped Texas

    Cancer: 6 of Wands reversed – Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, indefinite delay.

    I’m never getting out of here, am I ? – Jim Gordon

    • Don escaped Texas

      Libra: 8 of Wands – Activity, great haste, great hope, the arrows of love.

      Business as usual! – Alvin Bragg

  6. juris imprudent

    There are worse weeks forecast; at least I’m not crying over busted brackets.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Capricorn: The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

      Luckily, basketball just isn’t that important in Kansas – Bill Self

      • Mojeaux

        Not when you have to go in for cardiac stents at the start of your tournament.

      • dbleagle

        Duke is out in the 2d round so the tournament is done for me. It would have been better if Duke lost in the first round but I’ll settle for round two.

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t like basketball, but I’m marginally forced to pay attention because this is Jayhawk country (as in, not Mizzou), and it’s here. Husband went, “Bill Self went to the hospital, but he didn’t have a heart attack.” Me: “Cardiac cath lab. Bet he’s getting stents.” Voila. And that is the extent of my knowledge of March Madness.

      • Gender Traitor

        I don’t follow basketball either. I know that the “First Four” games – a last chance for teams to qualify for the tourney, I gather – were played in Dayton, to the great glee of local travel and hospitality businesses. They were well attended if the packed parking lot of UD Arena Tuesday evening (seen from the interstate as I drove home from the Y) was any indication. And my boss was out of the office Thursday afternoon at a “networking event” held at a nearby sports bar for the opening of the tournament proper, which got him out of my hair for a few hours. And that’s the extent of MY knowledge.

      • Don escaped Texas

        Go Vols!

        but I’d rather watch women’s basketball

  7. dbleagle

    Basketball has bored me since I was a mere Quarter Dollar. I did live for a time in the Raleigh area where the four big university fans take things waaaay too far. (UNC, NCS, DU, WF)
    They don’t just drive pickups in their school colors they paint their houses front doors and at least one room of the interiors in school colors.

    My dislike of Duke comes from more base motives- they rejected one of my kids from their med school and “Coach K” is a former field artillery officer.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Aquarius: Ace of Coins – The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence.

    Should be a good week.

  9. hayeksplosives

    Aries: 3 of Coins reversed – Mediocrity, puerility, pettiness, weakness.

    Fuck that noise.

    I am going to OWN this week, starting with today, Even though my lover has just left for the airport 🙁

  10. robc

    Following up from dead thread…I have no interest in all-star spring training.

    • creech

      What, you don’t like to see your team’s (Phillies)highly touted top pitching prospect hurt his elbow after only two innings and be shut down to see if season ending surgery can be avoided?