SANA’A – In a statement broadcast on the Houthi-controlled Al-Masirah network, spokesman Mohamed Ahmed Mahmoud Hamid said “Oh, you really got us now, you dastardly Yankees, for you blew up our *other* helicopter that we weren’t using. I guess we’d better surrender now.” He then paused to puff on a hookah and blow smoke rings for several minutes. “Do you fools have any idea how long we have been at war? By Allah, we’ve been fighting each other off and on for 60 years, and that started before the Saudis started bombing us 14 years ago. By my count, we’ve outlasted your last three presidents. And if you somehow win, oh wow, big deal. We’re the poorest country in the Middle East, you know.”
In response, State Department Spokesperson Joanna Gambolputty criticized Hamid’s remarks as “inflammatory and counterproductive” adding that she had been repeatedly assured that Yemen “was, like, getting a ton of food, medicine, or whatever from USAID”. Gambolputty went out to add that “the situation would not have deteriorated without certain dangerous and unprecedented budget cuts. If America can’t be the world’s food pantry and piggy bank, who will? This is not the time to be leading from behind in the field of handing out money, food, or whatever to countries most Americans don’t know anything about.” On X, Elon Musk quoted this statement and responded with several poop and flame emojis.
Meanwhile, Israel has announced a new policy of only targeting terrorist groups that start with the letter H. According to IDF Major General Bagel Shmeir, “We can now credibly claim to have de-escalated the situation and now have a free hand to bomb Hayat Tahrir al-Sham in Syria if need be. It makes sense since we have already bombed Hamas, Hezbollah, and Houthis. Just to be clear, however, we retain the right to bomb any country for any length of time regardless of what letter its name starts with. This means you, Iran.” Shmeir went on to announce a new program whereby Americans many purchase the debris resulting from the interception of rockets and missiles aimed at Israel. “It’s our personal way of thanking the American people for their decades of loyal support. By your genuine shrapnel souvenir today!”
Antiwar activists gathered in front of the Pentagon to protest the latest strikes. At the protest was Joanna Gambolputty, who was fired while this article was being written. Sporting new dreadlocks and a tie-dye t-shirt, Gambolputty led fellow protestors in chants while other recently fired government employees attempted to demolish the Pentagon by calling it racist. Later, the protestors sang Kumbayah and burned MAGA hats until they were dispersed by the arrival of food trucks serving cuisine of various nationalities. Of the protests, President Trump posted on X that “Thanks for supporting local businesses. Now please go home and take a shower. MAGA!”
Bagel Schmeir?
Now I want a bagel sandwich.
Mohamed Ahmed Mahmoud Hamid
Sounds like a cult leader. Maybe he is a Baghwan.
Rumor has it that the Yemeni militants have been researching how to weaponize the neurotoxin found in various species of puffers for use against the navy.
So now we’ll be targeting Houthi and the blowfish.
“Hold my hand….grenade”
I keep telling myself that I have more constructive things to do but yet, but yet, I always find myself coming back for more mental flagellation.
Let Her
CryDieOnly Want To Be With
You72 VirginsMeanwhile, Israel has announced a new policy of only targeting terrorist groups that start with the letter H.
In other news, the IRA has started a terrorist diversity recruitment program.
Is this the Mr Welch you mentioned on WaWR?
That’s him.
Thanks!
…serving the cuisine of various nationalities
Hamburgers, French fries, and pizza.
If we bomb them back to the stone age, will that be an actual advance for them?
As late as 1930, the imam in charge of Yemen lived in a stone house:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6khrKC9WDyQ
Stone construction is still common there.
Local cop followed the guy who lives across the street home. He has lots of dogs, but the cop didn’t shoot any. That was nice to see.
I ate at KFC, and they gave me an extra drumstick with my $5 combo. They were both kind of small, so it evens out.
Two pieces of fried chicken per week can’t do much harm. I stopped getting fries and bacon with my weekly burger.
Getting out of bed at reasonable hour remains a struggle. I’m thinking I should start swimming in the morning.
Houthi is the tribe; the militant group that is mostly Houthi is Ansarallah (God’s helpers). They belong to the Zaydi sect of Shia Islam and have been the traditional rulers of Yemen.
Ansar is a reference to the Arabs of Medina who sheltered Muhammad and his followers when they fled Mecca. Ansar is related to the name Nasser and to the late Hezbollah leader Nasrallah (God’s victory).
Don’t skip the bacon. Good God, man!
If you played Yemeni Jeopardy!, would you Ansar in the form of a question?
[golf clap]
Some might call that a bad gag, but that’s a solid Baghdad joke right there.
If the Houthis made smoothies, they’d be Smoothie Houthis.
Now I want to write a Dr. Seuss style article about the history of Yemen.
It was once conquered by men from Afar.
By way of Nir? (which apparently is Farsi for “Springfield”?)
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
Something tells me RJ wants you to do it.
Hmmmm
Hey, Buddy, stop doing that.
A burly young Houthi
who just bought a smoothie
was poised to partake
of his creamy milkshake
but was shot instead by an Uzi
Needs a couple more syllables in lines 1 & 2 – “There once was a burly young Houthi…”
I’m sure the “Houthi from Nantucket…” has already been done.
Was it a Supperating wound? Like his last?
So I see trump is picking winners and losers on a daily basis using tariffs’ rates. This feels like a managed economy using tariffs in place of tax rates or regulation.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/iphones-other-chinese-made-electronics-153836636.html
What a goddammed mess. Just pick a tariff rate and stick with it so companies can plan.
Yeah. Not happy with this approach at all.
Another case of where OMB just shows himself to be a 90’s Dem at heart.
“I didn’t leave the Democratic Party, the Democratic Party left me”
Whycome you fail to recognize the genius of Trump’s 9-dimensional chess?
Hmm, maybe Blinky from the Simpsons isn’t so farfetched after all: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four-eyed_fish
***
The four-eyed fishes are a genus, Anableps, of fishes in the family Anablepidae. They have eyes raised above the top of the head and divided in two different parts, so that they can see below and above the water surface at the same time.
***
The site, or Monocle, seems to be automagically logging me out.
Site hates me too.
It does that to me also on a regular basis (like today). I have concluded that it logs me out every time I lose internet connection (which is quite frequent). Annoying, but I just log back in.
Promised Land rocket fragments sounds like something a televangelist would have been hawking twenty years ago.
Just a modern version of the (manufacture of and) trading relics. There must have been enough pieces of the true cross to make a Sequoia.
I had a girlfriend in high school whose parents had a bone fragment (in clear resin) of a Catholic saint on their bedroom wall. They walked in on her sister one night with her boyfriend. From the blow-by-blow account I heard later the parents were more upset about the mortal sin taking place in front of that chip of bone rather than the teens were using the marital bed for some fun times.
People can be odd.
https://youtu.be/PyF7YmHYhYc
Christopher Buckley wrote a humorous novel about the trade in relics (The Relic Master, 2015) that was a fun read.
“BOOM!”
HEAL HIIIIM!!!!
I didn’t *mean* for my nap to turn into ~5hrs sleep, so natch I gave it a happy ending. Slept through the Cubs game, grrr, *and* my walk-puppy duty at ~11pm, grrr grrrr.
But this awaited! Well-done. The letter-name strat is perhaps my favorite bit. I’d buy shrapnel, but shirk at ‘earning’ it. Dad has a dummy grenade he uses in his juggling routine. His juggling a shotput (and two normal balls) is his best trick. Thankfully, born in ’49 he was a year ‘late’ for full conscription, but he also got some help from going to college. An athletic, driven man, he admits he’d be a terrible soldier. (His Asperger’s requires two showers a day and a complete lack of dirtiness. He’s also not a clean man, oddly. Well, many snot-rags around, and such.)
Well-done, Derp.
I didn’t *mean* for my nap to turn into ~5hrs sleep, so natch I gave it a happy ending
A *very* short story.
Nah, I edge it out to 20. Same as downtown, eh?
A mission to Michigan is my gambolly gambit of the day. Door-to-door should be a five-hour one. So I’m buying weed vape cartridges. I buy like 10 of ’em, a gram of pretty much pure THC oil each, so I only have to make this trip once every 10 weeks, or so. My package in MI will cost about $120. If I bought the same shit in Illinois, it’d be ~$250. It’s absurd and obvious. Raise taxes until you cross black market prices and… uh… the black market still plays. Not a shock to anyone here. Or out there. States with legalization are still greedily trying to figure it out, and it’s good there’s at least *some* competition between states to fight it out.
The pols and number-crunchers working those figures may indeed be in smoke-filled rooms, working on green felt, with *much* less attractive help running the tables. (Public service is the last resort in whoredom, ideally (for them) where long-term stability out-measures ‘pay’ and ‘social mobility.’ But grease the right knob once and ya’ve got yourself a career!
Buy Sloopy some Michigan gear while you’re up there.
These euphemisms are getting harder than parsnips to parse.
JD was set up! Morning.
🏆🙀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz2ykckmHwc
🎶🎶
Semi Re: Timeloose and the tariff ‘plan’:
China’s Xi is making the case for free trade as he tours Southeast Asia this week, presenting China as a source of “stability and certainty.”
He visited “with pomp and ceremony,” Vietnam’s President Luong Cuong. Xi paid respects to Ho Chi Minh, the founder of the Vietnamese Communist Party, visiting his mausoleum on Tuesday ahead of heading to Malaysia for a three-day visit before ending his tour in Cambodia.
(I’ve witnessed the changing of the guard at Ho Chi Minh’s tomb. The soldiers-at-arms were dreadfully serious. It was odd to watch.
In Hanoi, Xi met with Vietnam’s Communist Party General Secretary To Lam and said China+VN “have brought the world valuable stability and certainty” in a “turbulent world,” meaning one where Trump is Prez again.
China certainly sees the motive and opportunity to capitalize. It certainly benefits SE Asian counties to capitulate, agree and work with China. I wonder how that plays in Singapore, the oddest of odd places in the world. Culturally, and through its ports and trade, It’s the Asian United States, contained in a 60×90-mile island-nation. I wonder who they favor, though I can imagine it leans strongly CCP, by hook or crook. (Both.)
Their ports are a dream, the 2nd biggest in the world, and controlled by a party that’s long relied on their efficiency and sustainability. (And weeding out any dissenting *political* thought. Coworkers told me how neighborhoods that didn’t vote the ‘right’ way had their trash build up to remind ’em who was *actually* boss.)
It really is a fascinating place. All English in public, all native languages indoors. Best airport in the world. And food. Goddamn expensive rent. (And everything.) The lack of seasons rightfully fucks with your brain, as well as 12hr days and 12hr nights year-round. Damn equator. (Half the time, being ‘equal’ makes you worse off.)
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2025/04/massachusetts-couple-accused-kidnapping-five-children-state-custody/
The state owns your children. Do not anger the state.
A protective order based on refusal of vaccines too looks like, doubtful it was a mandated report on the part of the doctor but it’s Massachusetts so who the hell knows.
The children—ages 10, 9, 5, 4, and 9 months—were eventually found unharmed in Whitney, Texas, and are now in the custody of Texas Child Protective Services pending further investigation.
Texas should do the D state thing and refuse to enforce a court order from Massachusetts.
Encarnacion, the mother of all five children, is scheduled to be arraigned this week and faces five counts of kidnapping a minor by a relative.
An unusual sentence.
The children are currently in Texas, it says.
Hopefully, the children aren’t being abused by the employees of the Texas CPS.
Hopefully, they won’t be abused by the employees of the Massachusetts CPS, if they are returned there.
Morning, Glibs.
Good morning, U, Stinky, Sean, EfE, and Ted’S.!
How goes?
Pretty good, but with my knee still causing me to limp, I thought it best to skip my usual Tuesday visit to the local rec center to exercise. The exercising itself might be OK, but then I thought about that long walk from the parking lot to the building. 😞
How are you?
I guess I’m all right.
I found a manufacture date on my new case, it’s from 2013, so post-capacitor plague era. I might soon have cleared the pentium out of my work space and get back to the z80.
I don’t want to deal with work right now, but I have no choice.
Twenty more minutes of freedom!
UCS’ talks on his projects are a great example of me knowing that I’m well out of my depth, taking charges whilst underwater and trying to get the accounting in order. (Banks are tricky targets. Damn vaults.)
I shouldn’t be awake. You people. Perhaps (((you))) people, need to be on your day.
Dammit. Mission to run. Now dawn. Need real nap. Will figure it out. My life is very interesting.. I promise..
Mission to Mars(MI) w/o Jared Leto needs approaching. Not my exact jam, but I strongly appreciate him refusing to use his name in the band’s to limit just his involvement. He can sing. Dammit, talent. Appreciated.