The land of Gadzookshagen was fair and fertile
Ruled by King Frumtingle, so noble and wise
Its people feasted on the local skrunt turtle
Its meat was rich but went straight to their thighs
All was well until a huge horde on horseback
Pillaged and plundered and burned all they could
They stole all the skrunt turtles in the attack
A litotes would be things weren’t looking good
King Frumtingle knew it was time for a speech
He rallied his knights and put on his armor
“Remember, lads, the Battle of Plovfeech!”
Bellowed the king as he tried to yell louder
“Let’s hunt down these knaves and teach them a lesson
That Gadzookshageners are men of faith and courage
We are masters of arms and also mindless aggression
For our testosterone levels are far above average!”
Arose from the men such a thunderous shout
Which echoed from the hills to the camp of the horde
King Frumtingle rode hard in spite of his gout
It was battle he loved and most else made him bored
The king and his men caught horde off guard
They hacked, hewed, bludgeoned, and impaled
The carnage would retold in the song of a bard
Some made a last stand, but the rest of them bailed
In triumph they returned with their cold-blooded booty
A fest was prepared for the return of the valiant
The warriors were pleased for they had done their duty
The king had fought so hard that his sword got bent
Some stories have morals, and this is the case
Sometimes in life, the rules must be tossed
You get more with words when you’re holding a mace
So be a tough customer or else you’ll get bossed
First on my own petard by King Frumtingle.
*furiously Firsts*
So yeah. I threw Lewis Carroll, Shel Silverstein, and Dr. Seuss into a blender and this is what came out.
Bass-o-matic!
The featured image is this Polish king
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W%C5%82adys%C5%82aw_I_%C5%81okietek
***
In contemporary historical sources he was nicknamed Łokietek, a diminutive of the word łokieć which means “elbow” or “ell” (a medieval unit of measure similar to a cubit, as in “elbow-high”).[a] However, the origin and the intended meaning of the nickname are not certain. The earliest explanation appeared in a 15th-century chronicle by Jan Długosz, who speculated that the nickname referred to the short stature of the king. In 2019, a team of archeologists endoscopically reached the interior of the king’s tomb and found that the body was laid at the bottom of the burial chamber without a coffin. Subsequently, they were able to determine that Władysław I was 152-155 cm (5’0″-5’1″) tall, which meant that the king’s height was just below that of an average person living in Europe during the Middle Ages.
***
There was another Polish(?) king who was described as “wanting to rule the world without getting up from his chair”.
How many Polish Kings does it take to change a lightbulb?
I tutored a middle schooler in Chicago who spoke Polish at home. His goal was to be an NFL linebacker. He wasn’t that big, at least not at 13 or so. Bigger than average, but that’s all. I told him that given his goal, he first needed to play football very well in both high school and college. Then he’d have a chance at the NFL.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, as Lao Tzu wrote.
Sometimes I count syllables and read it out loud so it sounds right. Other times, not. Minor imperfections can be charming.
Whatever. Being a poetaster is fun. If you can’t do it well, have fun doing it badly.
There once was a King named Frumtingle…
Tingle
Dingle
Dangle
Dongle
Who came to the town to mingle…
Her met a young lass…
Who sat on her ass /
Must…resist…limerick!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ds6w7SkHyw
Let the limericks flow through you…
It’s not exactly Seuss, and it’s not exactly Carroll, but it comes with some near rhymes at the end*. Well done Derp, depending ,of course, on just exactly what you were aiming at.
*not exactly at the end , but that would fuck up my literary reference and sometime one has to bend some rules to make ones point.
Or I should read the comments before commenting.
At least you read the post.
Agreed with the cleverness of your work, Derp. Strong approval. I highly enjoyed the Seussical nature of it all. (That man? Perfect artist in every sense.)
I’ve noticed we have similarly-inclined linguistic rhyming fun in our heads and pen. Much enjoy.
https://apnews.com/article/student-loan-debt-default-collection-fa6498bf519e0d50f2cd80166faef32a
The Education Department will begin collection next month on student loans that are in default, including the garnishing of wages for potentially millions of borrowers, officials said Monday.
It’s gonna suck to be some people.
“Wait, was I supposed to pay that back? I voted for Kamala”
It’s hard to understand someone borrowing money and not expecting to pay it back. College must not teach logic, ethics or economics. Most people know that when you buy a car or use a credit card you are expected to pay the money, usually with interest, to the creditor. The idea that there is a big demand and high salaries for liberal arts majors had to come from somewhere.
“I dont have to worry about my mortgage”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8lXEY8O0tQ
And dont forget about this classic where they chant “mmm mmm mmm…Barak Hussein Obama”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ty7WU872Lk
Mike Rowe references a poster that shows a kid in a graduation gown and another in a mechanic outfit. The caption reads work smart not hard. Pro college propaganda has been in place a long time.
Yep. It’s *like* a cabal of colleges got together and bribed the K-12 system to tell kids that college is always the best idea for every single person in every situation and that they should pursue it no matter what it costs.
Tres forgot this Obama propaganda gem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW9b0xr06qA
Some lefty rag: herpa derp, Obama is the Lightworker!
***
Here’s where it gets gooey. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.
***
Well, put *that* in your pipe and smoke it, you god botherers and sky daddy ass kissers!
The science is settled!
https://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/morford/article/Is-Obama-an-enlightened-being-Spiritual-wise-2544395.php
Derpetologist:
I remember how much they freaked the fuck out when Trump had 3 little girls singing some goofy campaign song at one of his rallies. “It’s just like Nazi Germany!” “He’s brainwashing kids!”
I posted that Obama song video in response to that every chance I got, and nobody ever acknowledged or replied to it.
“Bipartisan legislation in the works includes the Employer Participation Repayment Act, which Sens. John Thune, R-S.D., and Mark Warner, D-Va., introduced in February that would make permanent a provision set to expire in 2026 authorizing employers to contribute up to $5,250 tax-free to their employees’ student loans. ”
So the tax payers are gonna take it in the shorts anyway. Why would employers make up the difference? The good employees will see their bonuses shrink.
Oh fuck that. Pay your own debt off.
The libertarian in me says you borrowed it, pay it back.
The realist in me is starting to get a bit irritated that they are targeting people who are lower and middle class as if there isn’t massive fraud at the top of the food chain.
Won’t be popular to say here. But it isn’t a great look to constantly be going after the small fries while blatant corruption exists throughout our government and among our elite.
Not a bad thing to say at all. People are lazy and go after low-hanging fruit. Hence all the harassment at the lower levels.
Remember what a fucking big nothing the Epstein files were? Yea, I haven’t forgotten. The message there is that the wealthy and connected kiddy diddlers are too important to go after. We aren’t going to dig any deeper. And how hard would it actually be given that there are shit ton of living witnesses who could be interviewed if offered protection?
We got a big nothing out of the JFK files.
You have Musk’s ass getting on Rogan and refusing to explain the corruption that exists in Congress because he claims he’s worried about his life being put at risk. Yea, that’s it Musk. You’re worried about being knocked off. Has nothing to do with who butters your bread at the end of the day.
I like the idea of DOGE. I like the results. I’m fine going after fraud in entitlements (hey, let’s start by actually getting rid of the illegals abusing the system!). You can’t simply direct all of your energy at the little folk.
Meh. Lots of the big debtors come from middle class to upper middle class families.
It provides bread, circuses and distractions.
It does feel like we will never be rid of elites who lord over us. Then same people and families control everything since WW1.
Well I’m fine with it because it discourages it from ever happening again.
On the other hand, this is happening at the same time as:
1) massive tariffs with no apparent strategy
2) Trump feuding with the Fed
I wouldn’t like to turn this thing back over to the left quite as fast as it’s gonna be and I am hearing grumbling from every working class person that things suck.
And is that who we should be targeting first? Why?
I hate the laptop class as much as anyone, but that’s not exactly where I’d be directing my power if I was in charge of the federal government.
Except for China, the tariffs aren’t “massive”. And the strategy seems pretty clear – get people to the bargaining table. Now, the idea that tariffs alone can restore American industry is ill-advised, but Trump is also going after the regulatory burden squatting on American industry, so let’s see how things play out.
Trump feuding with the Fed? That institution that has underwritten the financialization of America and the grotesque amount of government debt? Well, I never!
As to what the working class voter actually thinks, I have no clue, so it’s possible they are going to break for more leftism in a few years, perhaps in the person of Ocasio-Cortez. At this point, though, I wouldn’t bet on it.
@Bro: I agree the others but perhaps more with you. Seems like the inverse of constantly needing to defend scoundrels in order to preserve liberty, you have to grab the available fish rather than the ones who can litigate it out indefinitely.
Sometimes you have to be an ass, but it’s better to rip the band-aid RIGHT OFF rather than slowly peel the hair out. (Soon becomes too easy to reverse course to stop the unpleasantness.)
Trump *did* say at the opening that it was going to hurt and there’d be “hard times.” I don’t enjoy the effects of the strategy but I can at least see the logic. (Big tariffs to at least force negotiation, for example.)
I think the whimsicality of Trump 2.0 is carefully designed to flood the defenses of Team Blue. Forcing them to defend a known wife beater, gang member and possible human traffiker. It seems well calculated, like what *we* would do to force the opposition to cave in to Executive actions, or reveal their own utter failures in *needing* to defend the shittiest people possible.
Hoists them on their own retards. They have many more to go. Get as much done before midterms and make an impression. I approve. The means have been sloppy, and I disapprove. But I’ll take what I can get. Hard world, DC, especially for Trump.
Dammit. I never voted for him. But especially post assassination attempt when gloves are pretty well off, he’s kinda the hero we need. Home Alone 2 to this. I love my timeline.
Well, I mean, it was very clear that the lower middle class is being targeted first.
“We need Paypal and Etsy, Venmo and CashApp to send you all 1099s for any money you get above $600.”
But of course, all those companies are just going to do it across the board and fuck anybody who makes less than $600, they’re going to report them too because they’re not going to code carve-outs.
Do I WANT people to pay back their student loans? Sure. CAN they? Physically, I mean. Actually pay them and also keep a roof over their heads. Dunno. And I’m sorry, but this push to make EVERYBODY go to college was just as fucked up as grooming kindergartners into butt sex. No, you DON’T have to go to college to earn a good living, and there is no shame in honest work, no matter how lowly you or anybody else thinks it is. So, you push a bunch of people unsuited to college, they pick something they can actually do, it makes them less ready for the job market than they were before they went to college, and that’s whose problem? Not one thing, not two, not four or six, but MANY forces banding together to lean on an 18yo who had to ask to go to the bathroom last week and is now expected to make major life decisions.
I’ll add to that Moj. Who the fuck was it that came up with the senseless scheme of having the government “loan” money to people to go to college? Kids, christ most adults, view it as free money. Many more don’t understand the repercussions of borrowing money, let alone from the government.
Garnishing wages? Are we kidding here? Would any other lender get away with what the government would in trying to claw back what amounts to table scraps in the grand scheme of things?
Shit that *should* piss enough people off to foment revolt:
1) This debt “forgiveness” that directly rewards irresponsibility and fucks over those who had their affairs in order.
b) Want an economic boom? Powerful message to voters? Tell every worker they don’t have to have 12.4% of their paycheck deducted every goddamn two weeks, *knowing* they’ll never see a dime of it.
2) As Thomas Sowell argues, giving everyone, particularly African-American mothers a paycheck per kid, regardless, created a loop where it made sense to have more babies w/o present father figures to gain as much $ as they could … couple this with public edu being as fucking shitty as it is, and the alleged quote from LBJ saying Dems would create a 200 yr voting block if they passed the social services bills in the ’60s.
Were I black in America, I’d be fucking *pissed* to be so used. Sadly, generational dependence has killed that fire, methinks. Or a responsible debtor. People live in too much comfort to notice the embers blatantly pressed into their skin.
The worst part about any “forgiveness” scheme is setting (or strengthening) the precedent that if you took out a loan, you can start a massive protest/complaint movement, and some pandering politicians will try to buy your vote by passing your debt onto the taxpayers.
Pete Buttgag actually made a good point when he said that he wouldn’t support student loan forgiveness because college grads earn more as a group than non-grads, and it would effectively be a wealth transfer from poor to rich in many cases. I still don’t like that type of “as a group” or “on average” thinking, but it shows that even from a Leftist standpoint it’s a bad idea.
Fun fact: Buttigieg is Maltese. The name is garbled Arabic for Abu Dajaj which means “father of chickens” or more idiomatically, “chicken guy”
So yeah, his surname basically means Colonel Sanders.
There are umpteen Abu names in Arabic. Abu Jassim is Iraqi slang for a cop, but I forget the explanation why.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kunya_(Arabic)
I think I was in the 3rd or 4th grade and we had an exercise on taking from context.
“The thromful sodester frittily dained in the blapless trushdom”
1) What sort of sodester was it?
2) How did it dain?
3) Where did it dain?
4) Describe the trushdom
I keep this in mind when I read any news.
That sounds like Vogon poetry.
⬆️
Oh freddled gruntbuggly!
Reminds me of the Defense Language Aptitude Battery about farkiloy janks and jankiloy farks:
https://www.robins.af.mil/Portals/59/documents/Base%20Training/DLABPamphlet.pdf
I am open to poetry suggestions. No civilization perished out of too much poetry.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lays_of_Ancient_Rome
***
Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the Gate:
“To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods.”
***
When all hope seemed lost, Kayless the Unforgettable stepped forth to fight the tyrant Molar:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu-dkjD6wJw
I’ve always thought Edwin Arlington Robinson was a forgotten gem (was nominated for a Pulitzer in his lifetime, if I remember right). He seems to have a sense for that mixture of sadness and beauty that you find around abandoned or ruined places…
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44976/the-house-on-the-hill
I don’t particularly like the shift in poetry towards free verse. I’m not saying all free verse is bad, but when they took away the rhyme, meter, and other things that give it structure, they took away what makes it different (and sometimes superior to) plain prose. Here’s where maybe I’m going off the rails, but I think that could be PART OF why poetry is not a popular form of entertainment anymore. Yes, there’s competition from all the electronic devices these days. But people still read novels – why? Could it be because most novels are still written with characters, plots, and themes? It’s just a slightly educated guess. I’d like to spend more time looking at examples and counter-examples someday when I’m not busy with jobs, bills, home repairs, and all that silly stuff.
The limit to the sensible output of most LLMs is about 1000 words.
Machines can never know what it feels like to be hungry, sick, tired, etc. Only living things can.
As explained indirectly by the Terminator: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHbjRUMOqfk
Imagine a baby is born premature with some health defect. The parents are told that the child must spend the rest of their life in a biomechanical suit. A person raised in such a way would not know much about the world beyond what they can see and hear. Machines are even worse off than that because they have no emotions or physical sensations.
The Terminator doesn’t know what crying is because it doesn’t know what sadness is. It *can’t* know what sadness is. That is why it suggests and faces its own destruction so stoically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOLBTRazZpM
Sorry got to bounce soon but want to ask cuz you’d know!
On Thursday, I’m having day-long talk with docs along with ‘neurological evaluation’ (I’m assuming a multiple choice testing thing, perhaps some writing) to see my strengths/weaknesses for vocational rehab.
In one way or another, I imagine you’ve done something similar at least once. Any insight? I suppose the questions the docs ask are most pertinent, other than a basic rehash of telling them my shit. As in, what they might be looking for. Or what the tests are like! Oddly, while I don’t wanna wake up early on a day off, I’m semi-excited for the quite-odd job interview +psycho-neuro evaluation opportunity.
Would be appreciated.
The one I got during my inpro at the nuthouse was like a senility test: what day of the week is it, read the time off this clock, recall a word I told you 10 minutes ago, stuff like that.
Not hard, don’t sweat it.
Well, if the polls are correct, looks like I’m moving to Argentina. I like steak, but I’m not a big fan of Malbec.
Milie knows how to run an economy and get rid of tariffs. I’ll join you and we can enjoy a duty free pinot noir.
If you move far enough south the climate won’t even change.
Human vs. chimp brachiation (swinging locomotion)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T_Ncs1Y-d0
Wakey wakey mornin’ bakey – First Tuesday shift commute begins. Last day of work before I go under the needle tomorrow morning. I’m excited for today’s hours to melt away in the world of retail factory work. Kick ass and take names, ya’ll.
Happy Earth day!
🌎🌳🫨
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkcJEvMcnEg
🎶🎶
I question your sincerity. Stop blaspheming Gaia.
https://www.nj.com/advice/2025/04/nj-is-giving-out-emergency-real-id-appointments-heres-who-can-get-one.html
Voter ID still not a thing…. 🙄
https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/2025/04/21/nadine-arslanian-menendez-convicted-in-bribery-scheme/83163191007/
Moar!
suh’ fam
whats goody
/not me- I spent too many hours at a bar last night; pray for me
Good morning, homey, Sean, and EfE!
Morning, How goes?
Very well, thanks! Got payroll submitted, though not yet finally approved, and got most of the way through one large non-urgent project my boss left for me to work on while he’s at a convention. Traumatized leg muscles are gradually getting better, so win-win!
How are you?
I don’t know.
I don’t want to connect to work and deal with the
peopleproblems there.My brain keeps coming up with new ways to be concerned about Friday’s appointment, because of course it does.
🙁
Email gateway flaked out overnight. Means faxes were stalled (but queued for delikvery in both directions).
I don’t like this news. Bring me different news.
Don’t forget – you realized yesterday that you have some paid time off available that you hadn’t remembered was coming to you. You probably wouldn’t want to use it today, but if you really need it, you know it’s there!
And you’ve done everything you needed to do in advance of Friday’s appointment, including keeping a crystal clean record throughout your life. All you have to do now is not talk back to the judge.
What I didn’t mention was that my regular vacation bank is below my typical emergency reserve threshold. I try to retain two weeks in reserve so that I can deal with emergencies should they arise. I really shouldn’t burn any until the regular leave has refilled the reserve. That won’t happen for at least two months.
Ride the lightning, uncivil
Take that time off. It will be more enjoyable, like riding a roller coaster without the seat restraints
CRAZIEST Chicken Jockey Reactions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx5TFjGj5Vg
What the hell is this shit?
Red Letter Media discussed it recently. It’s movie companies trying to get people back into theaters, instead of waiting for them to be released on streaming services
This one was apparently organic, but expect more stuff like chicken jockey in the future
People being stupid and annoying to get attention. That is all.
See also: sagging pants while listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy Poopy Poop Dog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZstxpTBqL0
I have to take off an extra day since I’ll be flying back after the pickup time at the boarder. While I technically could pick up Lily the next morning and drop her off at home while I go to work, I am unwilling to do that to her.