This film was a Canadian success story. It made $20 million on a budget of $9 million. Ivan Reitman produced it, it had lots of rewrites and had multiple studios do the animation. Also it had a ton of nudity. Fairly unusual for a big release film at the time. Once it came out, people loved it and critics hated it. I am borrowing a quote from Wikipedia, who borrowed from Rotten Tomatoes: “Critical consensus: “It’s sexist, juvenile, and dated.” Perfect! If you don’t like one sequence, you might like the next one.
The legacy of this film continues to this day – Even South Park did a parody where Kenny got high on cat pee and hallucinated remade scenes of Heavy Metal. Even if you don’t like the movie you might like that. And Elon reproduced the opening of Heavy Metal when he launched his Tesla into space.
So what happened to Heavy Metal? Why did it vanish for a while? Well, the rights to the various bits of the soundtrack caused the movie to be pulled from home video. An alternate version with different songs and no nudity pretty much kept anyone from watching it on cable, I remember that*. Same thing happened to National Lampoon’s Animal House. It took years to get the issue addressed and restore the original version. Meanwhile somebody went and made Heavy Metal 2000 which blew. That took some shine off the original.
So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! Next week, we watch a film where evil aliens fake a heat wave as a plot to take over the world! No, it’s not a documentary, it’s Night of the Big Heat with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing!
*I was not able to find any proof of that. I was hoping some version of it was on eBay but no luck. Anybody else remember this?
I always forget it’s Canadian.
No way it could be made in Canada today. And I’m not sure I ever new it was Canadian.
Dude, when I click on your tubi link it says “content unavailable.”
Ima just watch “Major Boobage” and pretend.
There is at least two of them at archive.org
https://archive.org/details/heavy.-metal.-1981.1080p.-blu-ray.x-264.-yify
I, too, am getting ‘content unavailable’.
The page did link to some 80s cheese I saw in the theater,
Dang it:
Night Of The Comet
Sure enough. It was there Monday and Tuesday.
Tubi is a fickle mistress.
I’m getting the same “content unavailable” message.
Tonio, why would you watch Major Boobage? I’d understand you watching Captain Chaps, but a titty movie?
Here is an alternate movie called “Heavy Metal”
https://tubitv.com/movies/713508/heavy-metal-the-evolution-of-the-naval-warship
This is for Tonio.
https://tubitv.com/movies/631932/where-the-bears-are-7
Lol. I hope you sent him plenty of lube along with the link.
There’s a shameful lack of Brain Candy clips out there. I really wanted the “kids, where’s you father? Upstairs masterbating to gay porn” clip (“Mr. October…”)
But I did find this one.
I hated this movie. The casual discarding of characters and plotlines, the animation, the incoherence…
It was as if they made it to hurt me specifically.
My recollection is that it’s a bunch of half-written vignettes with a tenuous relationship to each other.
It’s not a good movie, but has some moments.
Also, animated tits.
Exactly, that, combined with its just not quite right animation style are the problems. Close out each story instead of wandering off like you’ve got amped up ADHD. Make it an anthology instead of… whatever the hell they did.
Slumsy:
Yup the animated tits is what I remember Jr. High me liking about that movie. Also, being out on the edge of the prairie, the music was still pretty fresh.
I first saw it in the internet age. The rarity of that commodity was much diminished by that time.
Those animated tits more than carried the movie.
Were you high?
No, No I was not.
Probably why my opinion isn’t so rosy.
“Anybody else remember this?”
Sorry, I don’t. There a “rough cut” floating around the internet, but it’s more like an un-narrated “making of Heavy Metal”.
“Night of the Big Heat with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing!”
Hammer time?
Hammer Time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
Exceleent. Did we do Dracula AD 1972 yet?
Then again, the last two movies I picked didn’t do so well
No, that is a fun one that is not going to get pulled. I think it might be better than ZZapped, which is coming up soon.
How much shit do you think those backup dancers in the Hammer pants get today?
Imagine the mockery they get from their teen-aged kids.
I enjoyed the movie when it came out. Treat it as a collection of short stories and not a movie.
Except the stories are incomplete. They just wander off, sometimes just going ‘ah, kill them all so we can get to this other idea’ sometimes just literally wandering off.
“And now for something *completely* different!” ~Monty Python
John Candy is Canadian.
Why yes, he is. I forgive him.
I’ll hear if I recognize his voice.
He was the horny robot in the next to last short.
The Hole in the Wall
Edward G. Robinson as a gang leader even before Little Caesar and Claudette Colbert of all people as the bad girl.
She was a bad girl pre-code even showed a nipple.
Do you actually see her nipple in The Sign of the Cross?
I know there’s a half-second of Jean Harlow nipple in Red-Headed Woman.
“Do you actually see her nipple in The Sign of the Cross?”
Yes. Though it’s black and white, and didn’t analyze it. David Burge posted the gif.
It Happened One Night has Colbert wearing a (nearly) see-through pajama top.
I kind of zone out when that episode of South Park comes on (as it did just the other day). Neither the music nor the animated tits appeal.
You bastard.
So when a movie is unavailable legally, is it OK to pirate it?
I don’t think so, but after 20 years nobody cares.
I’m not sure if the pic shown above is from tonight’s feature or is a still from Dragon’s Lair. Dude looks like Dirk.
No, no, Dirk is way skinnier, about half as wide in shoulder relative to the head.
That is Captain Stern, from the movie.
STERN!!!!!
Bonus Daily Ray: Babies and dogs
https://x.com/younjunqq/status/1910576874310582619
First read as “Rabies and dogs”.
I read “babies and rabies”.
¿No los dos?
That’s Hydrophobic!
Dog piling on
Extra bonus Daily Ray: Hope for the future
https://x.com/Playteaux1/status/1914004909210403185
That this masterpiece has never been remastered is a crime. I saw it at a midnight show at the Empress Theatre in Vallejo CA when it first came out.
It has nearly been killed several times. Mostly soundtrack disputes or story credits. So nobody even fixed the copy until recently. Even fixed, parts of the soundtrack seemed badly equalized. It is a shame.
I appreciate the awesomely gritty animation. But yes, the post isn’t good. They took a song produced by Sandy Pearlman and made it sound weak.
I saw it in the theater, like Spud. It was incredible there. I don’t know what all happened after that.
VHS for me. The repeatedly stated simple plots and that it’s HEAVY METAL for the baked people by people baked out of their minds isn’t the best way to engineer a soundtrack.
VHS for me.
Grainy 3rd or 4th generation VHS copy.
Witchie-poo likes ‘em young:
https://nypost.com/2025/05/01/us-news/florida-woman-accused-of-having-sex-with-an-underage-boy-she-met-at-funeral/
We all grieve in different ways.
(Sigh. Yeah. I’d quite happily lament with her. Hopefully upon her breast, to sate my sorrow.)
File under: *Strongly* suspicious a parental money play is involved. Access to kids’ parents, specifically.)
About ‘The Den,’ a segment featuring John Candy as… DEN!: “A nerdy teenager finds a “green meteorite” near his house and adds it to his rock collection. During a lightning experiment, the orb hurls the young man into the world of Neverwhere, where he transforms into a naked, muscular man called Den, an acronym for his earth name, David Ellis Norman. There, Den witnesses a strange ritual, rescuing a beautiful young woman who is about to be sacrificed to Uhluhtc. Reaching safety, she introduces herself as Katherine Wells from the British colony of Gibraltar. The two start having sex, but are interrupted by the minions of Ard, an immortal man who wants to obtain the Loc-Nar for himself.”
I’m up for a challenge, but I’m not quite-sure I can get erect to that. Candy as a “muscular man” perhaps makes me laugh most. I’m quite certain that depending on the sacrificial female in question, I could rise to the occasion. (*looks* Young Jackie? Hrm. Well, then. *unzips* Yup. Luggage still functional.)
Get rid of the fat and he probably had bigger muscles than most.
Absolutely true. Thespians have to move. Dad is hilarious with his unintentionally homoerotic speech with athletes and such. (Something’s going on there, but he’s totally straight. He just loves ‘dudes.’ Women baffle him.)
Watching a Seinfeld and George, played by Jason Alexander, is shirtless and beary chest-hairy in a doc office. “HE’S GOT SOME GUNS ON HIM!” Dad exclaimed. (Perhaps ejaculated, per Holmes?) Appreciating understated stockiness, my father. Strange, strange man, he.
Was he into wrestling?
Costanza had something like 30 girlfriends over the course of the series. Not bad for a poor, short, fat, bald guy.
And he wasn’t packing downstairs either.
Life, finds a way…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4l0QgDr6Dw
I’m getting a Tobias Funke vibe from your dad
Dad isn’t into wrestling and hated his time in the Army. (Semi-conscripted early 70s. Basic at Ft Leonard Wood, but no deployment. Had he gone, I wouldn’t exist. Woulda been the worst soldier in unit. He got out of a bunch of shit by being able to type. He was called a faggot a lot, but, hey. That’s ’70s army work to shoot for. My existence kinda depended upon him NOT going to VN.
He DID make bro wrestle when he was in high school and he and I were out of gymnastics. Dad thought we were being too lazy or physically unfocused. When I was bro’s age, I instead chose to play full-contact HS hockey as a rookie. That was special for so many reasons, my first goal in the championship (we won 4-3), the key moment of pinnacle I’ve not experienced in other challenges, a clear, defining moment of achievement.
+1 never nude
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Amusement park with ties to Ross Perot closing
Merliners, don’t come down to KD.
Primal has a similar feel to Heavy Metal, but with longer stories:
an episode clip – the finale is on fire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VON_VBsytbk
There is some new streaming animation channel that promises to have things like that 24/7. I’ve been seeing ads for it on Roku.
Eastern Bloc “Worker and Parasite” cartoons had some underrated gems:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QvwL_Fm_48
Gulag survivor art is heartbreaking:
https://victimsofcommunism.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/1-Magadan-Hills-Gologotha.png
Today there were 2 gators and a manatee at the swimming hole, but not at the same time. The manatee was a confused youngster. The lesser gator named Elvis got hooked and had fishing line hanging out of his snout. Elvis, the big gator, basked peacefully next to the “warning: alligators” just beyond the swimming hole boundary.
You need to take some pictures and post them.
Hmm…
I should probably just add them to my usual posts a featured or embedded image.
Derp On Nature-p
That would work.
Oops, big gator is named Smiley because of his nice teeth.
yes, you can and should brush your pet gator’s teeth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQzeYQxpJ70
Those are tremendous moments, well and humorously described. Me want more.
Confused youngsters, are especially fun. Exceptionally open about not knowing wtf is going on, and most adults (while grocery shopping and in general) kinda don’t pay attention. Other than my history teaching, I think I get why kids were always drawn to Dad. I get a lot of attention from them at work, and I think it’s cuz I straight-up look at them in the eye. They look back. I’m just curious, but I make a face or a tilt sometimes to brighten the moment. I *did* get the chance to juggle (one hand) two Roma tomatoes for a kid a few weeks back. I didn’t drop one, but knew to quickly finish the bit.
Yep. I challenge you to get a picture of Elvis, cuz that’s just too much fun to not share.
Babies seem drawn to me like a moth to a flame. Same with the elderly.
Same with black babies. And old, black, people.
There must be some common denominator there.
suggested music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yUYyxBjw0k
Don’t forget Mister Twister.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4gUI9VUi4k
Moi chelovek, tvoya uma eta sam kak moi uma.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F-JfWqMG6g
compare and contrast, comrade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23UGN3qqBWY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NCEHoWROXY
I hope OBE and his boys are out celebrating the Vegas win – congrats!
Fuck… what is it going to take for a team that is from neither a desert nor a swamp climate to advance anymore??
I guess I’ll take Toronto but I was rooting for the underdog anyway.
Edmonton is still kicking.
Not even 6 minutes gone and it’s 2-2. Yikes.
Winnipeg and Colorado are still alive as well.
I just hate Vegas and tired of the Florida teams too.
It feels like the league is tilted toward expansion teams and/or teams that moved from proper hockey climates.
And it doesn’t help that my favorite teams keep selling their best players southwards, either.
“And it doesn’t help that my favorite teams keep selling their best players southwards, either.”
Dude, as a Bruins fan seeing Marchand in a Panthers sweater, you don’t know how bad it can get.
Are you two secretly Canadian?
No, just a northern American.
Hockey is a winter sport. It does not make sense in places where there is no proper winter.
Well… winter is over. Yet you’re still watching it. Shouldn’t you be finishing Babylon 5?
Don’t get me started on how stupid Stanley Cup games in June are.
Cut back the regular season, move the first round to 5 games.
Go Edmonton.
I had everything to do with that.
As the bombing of Yemen continues, my mind turns to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr_Ih4C6KSs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H323ymZyK3k
compare and contrast:
US Army
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7bYc2-nUX4
Russian Army
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV3l_6tXb6Y
For all its flaws, our army is much better trained and equipped.
Equipped? OK, but irrelevant
Trained? No, because even the most hardened US soldier is no match for the trauma of his Russian counterpart:
War is about killing and risking being killed. Don’t take my word for it. Here’s what America’s greatest hero of WW2 had to say:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF1F1kRTpWE
Compare that to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vCDjoocq44
But Derp! Surely you’re not saying that traumatized, suicidal, alcoholics fight better than fat, dumb, spoiled Americans?!
Right?!
The Russian concept of war has and always will be to use their men like a meat grinder. Only they don’t have the resources for that anymore.
Color me skeptical that the country that couldn’t win a conventional war against Ukraine is really a match for America because you have some hang-up about how the military treated you. I doubt the modern Russian is all that much tougher than their Western counterpart, and they sure as shit aren’t more competent from what we’ve seen.
@ Derp: Word. Also the reality of “No Retreat/ Step Backward” force.
We have steamrolled any conventional force that has attempted to fight us since WW2. Even the human wave assault launched by the Chinese against a strung out force in the Korean War was driven back and would have been beaten back further if the war continued. The Vietnamese were decimated when they tried to fight us conventionally.
The Iraqis and Afghans learned quickly to avoid open conflict and resorted to an insurgency tactics because it was futile. How tough is the life of the average Afghan? Guess it doesn’t quite matter because they’re an ass backwards bunch of goat fuckers with the mindset of children; not men.
The last time Russians faced off against American forces would be Korea in the air, and Americans enjoyed a favorable kill ratio by far no matter which source you want to use for it. It was what anywhere from 3 to 10:1.
It’s all too popular around here to take potshots at the military despite the presence of so many veterans. Haven’t won a war since ___. The actual combat record of American forces is clearly not the issue. The American military isn’t out there getting its ass handed to it in battle after battle. Far from it. We dominate wherever the enemy actually dares to attack us head on.
Where the American military has struggled, and it is painfully obvious it is a political issue, is in occupying and pacifying territories after ‘conquest.’
All out war with Russia at this stage would be lopsided and brutal. And not for the Russians.
The US hasn’t won a war since 1945 and has run away after minor losses such as in Somalia and Lebanon.
In case you haven’t been following the news, the US also lost a war to a rag-tag militia in the world’s poorest country. They looted billions of dollars of US weapons and equipment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlJd47w7Pbk
I do not take joy in these facts. They must be told and emphasized.
The idea that US or NATO forces would fight Russia for more than a few hours is laughable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68sjjlE9Ugk
Russia has had what? At least half a million losses in 3+ years of fighting? And they’re still at it? Do you honestly think the American people and military could do likewise today?
I didn’t say they fight well, but damn, they just keep coming:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uscTnP-Regg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUgvLK4b1Pg
“We dominate wherever the enemy actually dares to attack us head on.”
Trojan, meet Horse.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_military_deception
Meanwhile:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnVTW1Lh7zk
I swear the black soldier at about 0:22 is SSG Ivory from DLI. Met him in 2016. He got made fun of because he sounded exactly like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
suggested music: yakety sax
Oh, and how’s that revamped, gender-neutral fitness test going?
Aaaaand…it’s gone!
I have actual facts on combat ability. You have talking points and a narrative. America endured 20 years of war in Afghanistan and a decade or more in Iraq. How long in Vietnam? Korea?
These wars turned into quagmires for reasons that have nothing to do with the fighting ability of the military itself.
A standard which the American military has shown itself far more capable of meeting than anything Russia has put on tape since WW2.
Now let’s actually look at what’s left of your argument.
Make it make sense, Derp. Because you come off like a jilted ex-lover here just saying dumb shit for the sake of getting a shot in.
If you want to argue that the American people lack the will to fight a protracted war against Russia, go ahead and argue that. But that’s not where this dumb shit started. It started with you very explicitly and clearly talking about the fighting capabilities of the respective soldiers of America and Russia and saying dumb shit like the “trauma” of the Russian would trump Americans.
This is the same dumb shit that was argued about before WW2, by the way. Democracy supposedly produced weak, soft men who would be no match for the soldiers of Germany. It was bunk then and it’s bunk now.
True but we lack the political will to effectively fight a protracted war with Russia plus they have an intimate understanding of drone warfare. We’d win (probably) but it’d be incredibly costly and if it’s an existential threat to either side nukes would come into play. Not worth the risk.
That a better quality training video than the old “grab random people from the office as leads” I remember.
Who is going to give R.J. the coveted 100th comment?
I’ll be 101. Double First.
🤘🤘
You go ahead and be double firsted, I dont want to see it,
Wierdo
Sell tickets!
The Right Can’t Meme: Hat and The Hair Youtube comments edition:
The original Heavy Metal (from which I suspect the creators of the movie got some of their story ideas):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A9tal_Hurlant
This looks like the original movie that I remember seeing.
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=AwrEq2UeaBRo_AIAIidXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=Heavy+Metal+1981&fr2=piv-web&type=E211US105G0&fr=mcafee#id=52&vid=48ef298bedbaa39f555fd784472ef704&action=view
Wake up and Drive, 2011, is on cable. Underrated flick, though it looks shit on TV. Kinda a fun ‘alarm’ to start the commute.
I can work with that. Wakey, bakey sleepies.
Don’t like your political opponents? Just spy on them!
How long until they try to put the 20% of the people who voted the wrong way in jail?
They haven’t already?
Christ. Euro gone bye-bye. History sure does rhyme.
And within a lifetime, for a few people.
More than a few, since East Germany was still a thing until 1990.
Germans gonna German and it serves as a formal acknowledgment of what they’ve already been doing I’d imagine. Don’t see how this doesn’t garner sympathy for the party on the receiving end of this nonsense.
Yeah, their Blob has been calling its opponents “extremists” and “racists” for years.
Postmodern woke gibberish. They literally hate ethnic Germans and want to replace them with the hordes of you-know-who that also hate Germans, hate Germany, and want to destroy it from within.
It’s gonna get interesting there.
So what you’re saying it it’s time to chimp out on the current German powers that be and their imports?
Not so much chimp out as deport. Maybe they’re just fed up with being run over at their Christmas fairs and seeing their women being harassed by Turks and Syrians.
It’s not going to end until we get boulevardes of dead politicians and globalists.
Happy national truffle day!
😋🍬🦅
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HI_xFQWiYU
🎶🎶
Still stuck in the 80s. lol.
Which kind of truffle?
Je prefère le type chocolat*. The others smell like feet.
*apologies to my French teachers
The truffle shuffle.
Brought to you by Chunk.
Big truffles. He got them in Little China.
Good morning, Sean, U, TO’G, Efe, and Ted’S.!
Morning. How goes?
Pretty good, but I’m glad it’s Friday. Even after just one day back to work, I was nodding off in my chair after dinner last night. I’m going to blame my allergies, which seem to be pretty well under control at the moment.
How are you?
I made it to the office. Trying not to get irrationally angry at coworkers. Hopefully it’s a quiet Friday (even a noisy Friday is a quiet day, but half the fridays are really quiet). Lingering cough is annoying, but it’s no reason to stay cooped up in the house.
I plan to transplant my pepper plant to the big pot this weekend, and plant some radishes in a container. I need to figure out a good pickle seasoning formula that suits my tastes. I like vinegar, but that leads me to go too heavy even for my tastes.
IIRC, you intend to pickle the radishes, correct? I don’t believe I’ve ever had a pickled radish.
That is correct.
From the experiences of others I know, the harvest all comes at once and you have to have a plan for those you can’t eat right away.
Great one-hit wonder!
I’m glad I got the grass trimmed yesterday, even if I was swapping half-charged batteries to do so. It’s supposed to rain off and on al weekend.
Reform appears to be doing well in the UK local elections. Why didn’t the government ban them?
According to the Lotus Eaters, aka Sargon of Akkad’s outfit, they’re almost as wishy washy as the Tories and Nigel’s managed to morph himself into a major squish. Maybe that’s got something to do with it.
Given that most of their people are Tories, that is no surprise. They didn’t bring anyone in from outside of politics, just got defectors to hop the fence.
They’re the “right wing” party that wants to save the National Health Service and import Indians instead of Muslims. They reflect the will of their constituents about as effectively as a mud puddle.
Cuz he smokes, eh?
Sad news:
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/body-of-truck-driver-who-fell-in-sinkhole-found-after-3-months-in-tokyo-8309963
suh’ fam
yo whats goody
Nothing. Just like any other day.
How goes?
Like you, we’re forecasted for rain all weekend. Consequently I wont be getting my yard mowed.
But I have to get home first.
I watched a segment of Heavy Metal years ago, and switched to something else when I determined that every white guy in the movie is murdered.
Same as in Logan
I’m not into bigotry.
Jeez, there’s some birdy action here just before dawn,
Playing golf?
Ask Yusef.
https://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2024/feb/28/cover-parrots-godwits-and-bushtits/