In the years that passed after his father Odysseus returned home after his long wandering, Telemachus grew to the peak to maturity in the summer of his youth. At the same time, both his parents aged and entered the autumn years of midlife. Odysseus, once so mighty and cunning, became feeble and dull of sight, hearing, and mind. He knew it was time for his son to take over as king, for Telemachus was now more fit for battle. Telemachus took the throne and immediately took to the tasks of administering his domain. One gloomy evening as he was busy studying some maps and scrolls, a servant called for him. Odysseus was on his deathbed, and there was not much time left. The ailing hero gasped for breath and beckoned his son and only child to hear his last words. Telemachus bent down to his father’s ear and heard thus:
“My son, be strong to do good.”
At this, the chest of the once mighty Odysseus fell gently as the strong hand of fate gripped him and darkness shrouded his eyes. Poor Penelope, so heartbroken was she to have lost her one true love, fell into a deep despair and perished herself barely a fortnight later. They were buried side by side along with their ancestors and countrymen in the family crypt of the royal house of Ithaca. Hardly a single day passed without Telemachus visiting his parents’ graves to contemplate, pray, and give offerings to the gods. He was comforted by the thought that they were surely together in the afterlife, where they leisurely strolled through the forever golden fields of Elysium.
It came to pass that Sparta, the staunch ally of Ithaca during the Trojan War, fell into disorder when its king, Agamemnon, died suddenly of illness. There was a brief power struggle before a greedy and ambitious captain named Solon seized power and ruthlessly stamped out all opposition. Not long after, he became greedy for new land and battles, and turned a jealous eye toward Ithaca, which seemed ripe for conquest. The men of Ithaca were of course, decent warriors, but hardly a match for the Spartan army, which was feared by all of Greece and many foreign nations as well. Besides being inferior to the Spartans in quality, they were also outnumbered by at least three to one. The temples of Ithaca were crowded those days with worshippers beseeching the gods for a miracle which might save them. In private meetings with his counselors, Telemachus said that it was good for the people to pray, but those who pray with deeds are the most beloved by Zeus and his ilk.
With that in mind, Telemachus concluded that Poseidon was the logical choice for a divine ally. Despite being tormented by the sea god for 10 long years, Odysseus spent his final years singing praises to the deity whose favor allowed him to return to his homeland. Eurymachus, the wisest counselor and oldest friend of the late Odysseus suggested that the blessings of Athena might be sought as well. “Because, oh my king”, said Eurymachus, “it was the protection of the goddess Athena who helped your father survive so many perils during his painful journey.” Telemachus agreed, and so a decree went throughout the land that all the people should pray to Athena and Poseidon on alternate days, so as to gain the equal favor of both.
Meanwhile, on Mount Olympus, heavenly abode of the gods, the residents watched the unfolding events on earth with great interest. The conflicts and travails of mortals were a kind of sport for them, and entertainment is as essential for immortals as it is for the common folk. It was no great surprise that Ares, god of war, favored the Spartans. “Their bloodlust pleases me, and I long to hear dying screams, shouts of triumph, and the clatter of spear, sword, and shield”, said Ares. Zeus, having the deciding vote on the council of the gods decided that if Ares were helping the stronger side, then it was only fair that both Athena and Poseidon would help the weaker. “It is best to maintain balance in all things”, explained Zeus, “just as the golden mean is found throughout nature.”
Telemachus and his advisors pondered long into the night how best to exploit their divine reinforcements. Once more, Eurymachus had the best stratagem. “Let us send out two ships: one to recruit some of the deadly sirens and the other to the cyclops Polyphemus. Odysseus told the tales of both many times, and how bitterly he lamented the loss of so many of his crew to their evil power. We must trust in the grace of Athena to keep our crews safe.” At once, two ships set sail just as planned, one bound for the sirens’ shoals and the other to the island of Polyphemus. Athena shielded the ears of the sailors against the enchanted songs of the sirens and compelled them to follow the ship back to Ithaca. In the wink of an eye, Athena was speaking with Polyphemus, who was still struggling with the blindness inflicted by a ruse of Odysseus. “Let us make a trade”, offered Athena, “I shall restore your sight, and in return, you will come to fight with the son of Odysseus. In this way, let the bitterness between your two houses fade into memory.”
Polyphemus rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a few moments as he considered this proposal, but of course, the words of the goddess were so sweet that no living thing could fail to be convinced by them. “It has been very hard to have walked in darkness all these years. I’m almost helpless, despite my size and strength. You drive a hard bargain, goddess, but I cannot help but accept. For such a favor, one of equal measure must be granted.” When the crew arrive, they were surprised to see a healthy Polyphemus there to greet them. They worked together to build a giant canoe so that the cyclops could paddle himself with them back to Ithaca. Polyphemus of course, could paddle much faster than the wind could blow, and so ended up towing the ship back to Ithaca in less than half the time it took to sail there.
They all arrived just in time with the Spartan army less than a day’s march away from the city gates of Ithaca. Telemachus dispatched the sirens to hide in a cove which the Spartans would pass by. When they did, they sang their haunting melody, and many Spartan soldiers were irresistibly drawn into the sea where they drowned. In this way, Solon lost half his force. Just before the gates of Ithaca stood Polyphemus, armed with a stockpile of boulders. He hurled them with all his might, and a another third of the invading horde was either crushed or fled in a panic. The remaining third encircled the cyclops. After a prolonged melee, Polyphemus saw that this time, discretion was the better part of valor, and put up his hands to surrender after being impaled countless times by Spartan spears.
Solon’s forces were now outnumbered by the army of Ithaca two to one. From a tower on the city wall, Telemachus called out to Solon. “King Solon, you and your men have fought bravely today, and have even taken a mighty cyclops prisoner. Surely the demands of honor have been satisfied. Go home and take the cyclops with you as a trophy. No one else needs to die here today.” As Solon considered these words, the invisible spirit of Ares whispered in his ear that it was best to cut his losses. Ares greatly feared the mockery of the gods if the battle continued, and he, invincible god of war, ended up on the losing side. After some silence, Solon gave his reply: “I challenge you to single combat. If I win, Ithaca is mine. If you win, my family will swear by the river Styx that Sparta will never again attack Ithaca.”
Telemachus nodded in assent before announcing “as the challenged party, I have choice of weapons, and I choose my father’s bow. You may borrow it and shoot at me first, if you are even strong enough to string.” Telemachus knew also that the Spartans considered bows the weapons of cowards, and hardly any ever practiced with them.
A wave of laughter erupted from the ranks of Ithaca. Solon turned slowly to his cyclops hostage before responding, “you fool! Was your father stronger than this cyclops? Surely, he can string the bow. Polyphemus, I command you to fetch me the bow and string it. Fetch me his quiver of arrows as well,”
This was a complication Telemachus had not expected, and he silently cursed himself for being outwitted by a simple-minded Spartan. Even so, he made his promise and stood on the field in front of Solon and in range of the bow. Solon nocked an arrow confidently, took aim, and let loose. The arrow grazed the cheek of Telemachus, and instantly he put his hand on the wound while the Spartans snickered. Solon was a spectacular archer for a Spartan, but no match for Telemachus. Polyphemus returned the bow to the king of Ithaca who readied and took aim. Just before he let loose, he was startled by an owl fluttering over his head and missed his mark wide. The were groans and gasps from the ranks of Ithaca.
Telemachus felt thousands of eyes upon him and spoke quickly. “It seems we have a draw. Let us all go home.” The pleading of Ares had grown to a fever pitch during the duel, and at last, Solon made a brief bow, before gesturing his army to march back the way it came.
There was a great celebration in Ithaca that night, though Telemachus was preoccupied with the owl. Was it an omen? If so, of what and from whom. As he looked out on the city, his eye was drawn toward an owl perched on top of a statue of Athena. “Well, there’s no sign clearer than that”, he thought as he raised his wine goblet to his lips. “I never should have doubted that she’d save the son of Odysseus.”
I came across the NCAA lacrosse championship game today and yes, this is probably accurate for some values of “great”.
Lots of students (and townies, too) getting “high above Cayuga’s waters.”
Ugh we don’t need any more high townies. A bunch of ’em live across the street and the ambulance shows up every day.
The moon is hollow. Change my mind.
I would change your mind but it wastes ammo and is messy,
Cheers!
You better aim true if you want to take a shot at me, little seconder.
TO BE THE MAN, YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE MAN.
I wouldn’t hurt you bro, after all we are still glibs
Brochettaward on May 26, 2025 at 8:00 pm
TO BE THE MAN, YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE MAN.
Just keep beating yourself.
The moon is not hollow. As everyone knows who watched cartoons as a kid, the moon is made of green cheese. Green cheese is just like but not the same as a good Gouda. Gouda is not hollow.
Now, I hunger.
I hunger!
Nice call back, rhy. I remember feeding that game many tokens in the local arcade.
I wanted to, but I was really bad at it. It was insanely hard.
Live in your basement and Ill play disc golf, bet I have more fun.
Has anyone else here heard of Ulysses: The Greek Suite? Rock opera from the 80’s based on the story of Ulysses.
“Polyphemus, you’re the meanest son-of-a-bitch I ever knew!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJkmh948Pb4
Polyphemus was just misunderstood.
Like Neanderthals breeding with Humans to create the French, Cyclopes mated with… really big women like Rosie O’Donnell to create Bigfoots.
STEVE SMITH WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THOSE BIG WOMEN ARE!
My house.
Mr. Great, the news informs me they moved to Ireland.
‘BigFEET!’, the homely (Steve) Smithian roared.
To Swiss, 4Score, and the rest. I understand your feelings on Memorial Day and the memories of your compatriots who will not grow old. Here’s to better days and the hope others will realize what they sacrificed.
Amen.
EXCUSE ME? LET ME TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR.
One for Memorial Day
https://youtu.be/__0RqT_s6Ss
Watching deposition videos on YouTube. Marcus Lemonis is out of those world. Very well prepped or a gifted natural. Alex Jones keeps hitting every branch on the way down.
Get up and get some, Glibs!
🎩🧐☕️
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I5TPUBqx14
🎶🎶
Ugh, back to work.
Back to work? Slackers.
Good morning, Sean, Ted’S., Teh Hype, and Stinky!
Morning.
Good morning, U! How are you today?
Well, I’m not sure. I could rattle off the pointless inconveniences that have cropped up so far today, or the noise stuck in my head pretending to be music, or any number of things. But the cantakerous contrarian trolls are out today, and that would just give them motivation. I have recently found that what I took to be a good sign with the radishes was not, and that I have in fact not been giving them enough light. I will have to fix that, but it’s probably pushed back the harvest since they wouldn’t have been developing the root properly when light-starved.
Hope you can remedy the light issue and get a bumper crop! (Hope the pepper continues to thrive, too!)
The pepper shows every sign of thriving, and the latest leaves have reached the size of the largest pre-transplant leaves and may still be growing.
How goes it with you?
Very well, thanks! The worst I expect at work is a ton of mail after the long weekend, but that may be offset by it being late in the month, when the piles from the post office tend to taper off. With my boss on vacation, I may be able to purge some more old paper from my office (and eventually empty some banker’s boxes that have been cluttering up the place for months!)
🤞
Hope it’s a light mail day. (Relatively speaking)
Down to the finals.
https://www.wdsu.com/article/new-orleeans-escaped-inmates-texas/64885007
Only two left.
And more crime news, Philly style…
https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/crime/philadelphia-mass-shooting-live-updates-fairmount-park-deaths-b2758284.html
The Jersey shore, such a lovely place to take the family.
https://abc7ny.com/post/seaside-heights-violence-multiple-stabbings-fights-break-jersey-shore-boardwalk-despite-curfew-crowd-control/16553599/
Stabbings eh? Has the Jersey Shore moved on from a trashy Italian-American customer base to a trashy Brit customer base?
Good morning all.
Looks like my favorite kind of weather today….rain for a week in the spring. It has been the most perfect spring I can remember. I hope this lasts through the fall. The trees will be happy and that makes me happy.
Jersey shore….wow. Where is Sandy when you need her? Speaking of that the news lately from New Orleans has had me praying for another Katrina.
I think Sandy is in bed with Rashida amd Ilhan.
“North Korean leader Kim Jong Un condemns warship accident as ‘criminal’”
-The report did not say whether there were any casualties.
https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/north-korean-leader-kim-jong-un-condemns-warship-accident-kcna-says-2025-05-22/
Sounds like if there weren’t any casualties there will be some in the near future.
Yeah, there are going to be casualties.
I dont really know anything about Korean culture but I do know that government is a product of culture. I also know that I dont want to have anything to do with Eastasia.
Local reaction to the conclusion of a big NATO powwow in our fair city: “I hope they don’t do this to us again…” 😄
NATO: PITA wherever they go.
At least you can take comfort in knowing that you got to disproportionally pay for it.
I have some suggestions for future locations of their powwows.
I wonder why they didnt come right out and say it was Catalpa.
For some reason, their headlines have become vague about where incidents take place if not in Dayton proper. Probably trying to make it less obvious that it tends to be in certain areas of the county repeatedly. 🙄
I can remember in the mid-80’s when that place was actually a desirable place to get an apartment.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned one of my high school teachers lived there. She wouldn’t be caught dead there now.
And then they had to take Section 8 tenants?
suh’ fam
whats goody