”WELCOME TO FORREST LAWYER PODCAST. THIS HOST STEVE SMITH.”
”Yes, we’re back again, this is how you know this must be a slow news week and Mex has too much to do.” Swiss was going straight for the knockout as always.
”Yeah, whatever.” I said flatly.
”SUGARMAN, YOU ON AIR.”
”I mean, I’m not on acid, if that’s what you’re asking. I did acid once, that just wasn’t for me.” Sugarfree replied.
”Really?” I asked.
”No, it doesn’t really do anything for me. I’m already seeing weird things that nobody else seems to see anyways. It just makes them louder.”
”Huh.” Swiss looked befuddled in the camera.
”You’d be surprised how often I get that.” Sugarfree added.
____
”CHEESEMAN, WHO SPONSOR PODCAST TODAY?”
Swiss pulled up a pitcher of orange liquid and a glass lined with some sort of spices. He then poured himself a generous serving of the orange liquid.
”Today’s sponsor is Natural Blonde Bloody Mary Mix”. He set his glasses slightly below the bridge of his nose and began reading the promo. “Founded in the heart of Charleston, South Carolina, Natural Blonde was inspired by the city’s vibrant culture and culinary scene. Bursting with bright flavor and bold color, their mixes are a celebration …of Charleston’s ….southern ….charm.” He narrowed his gaze, slightly.
“…Our mission is to stir up something more than a drink: we’re stirring up golden moments and bringing a touch of sunshine to every sip.” He took a heavy dram. “Oh that is peak white girl.” He shook it off and went back to the notes.
”…Golden Marys are more than just tomato juice – they’re an experience!” He narrowed his gaze again. “…that transcends ….the ordinary? Picture vibrant jalapenos, crisp parsnips, succulent onions, and aromatic garlic – and at the center of it all, our hand-picked golden tomatoes ripened in the sun.” His gaze was narrowing close enough to create a signluarity.
”Swiss, that sounds like what I put in salsa.” I said.
”I didn’t realize you were a white girl.” Sugarfeee said. Swiss now was steadfast in reading the promo.
“Our mixes deliver an UNPARRALLELED drinking experience: a juice that is light, clean, and revitalizing.” He chugged the remainder of the glass and licked the salt off the rim. “PROST. Order now and they’ll send a free salt rimming…thing.”
”Single use kitchen gadgets are ridiculous.” Sugarfree said.
”WHAT BROWN MAN HAVE TODAY?”
”Today I have Wynchwood Brewery Hobgoblin Ruby Red Ale. I know they say better dead than red, but in this case if you don’t like reds, fuck you. Wynchwood Brewery Hobgoblin Ruby Red Ale: 3.8/5. To bad its from the UK and they made it to conform to the Queen’s alcohol serving guidelines. I can drink like, 20 of these.” I said.
”They don’t have a queen, she’s dead. Now there’s a king.” Sugarfree corrected me.
”Okay, and?” I replied.
”Plus the NHS made those guidelines, not the crown. There’s more than one bad guy here, we should be factual in determining which hobgoblin is at fault.” Sugarfree said.
”Are you sure you’re not on drugs?” I asked.
_____
”SWISS MAN. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ELMO?”
”Elmo suddenly becomes an alt-right hero? Here’s the trouble we have with Elmo.” Swiss began. “Legally speaking, I cannot comment on Elmo, because of the relationship Swiss Corps has with Elmo. I can only state we have a relationship, and nothing more.”
”Did Elmo traffic all those H1-B Visa holders?” I asked.
”No comment.”
”It wasn’t Elmo that made me whack Big Bird?” Sugarfree asked.
”That question doesn’t implicate me, it implicates you. As I said, no comment.”
”What about that cigarette boat scheme a few years back, did Elmo need a lift? I asked.
”No comment.”
”CHEESE MAN, DID ELMO MAKE THE TELEFON CALL?”
”No, that was probably Bide—excuse me, no comment.”
”Is Elmo Mossad?”
“I said no comment.” Swiss tried changing the subject. “Did you see what Elon Musk posted?”
”He posted about Elmo?” I asked.
”Ghah, no comment!”
”Oh, was it the anime girl? What a fucking Weeb. Did she talk like Elmo?” Sugarfree asked.
”Yes—Goddamnit! No comment.”
”STEVE SMITH CHANGE SUBJECT. CONGRESS DEFUND PBS. WHAT SAY YOU CHEESE MAN?”
”I’m glad they did it—“
”Because that’s Elmo’s primary source of revenue?” Sugarfree interjected? Swiss took another sip of Golden Mary and narrowed his gaze…
”No. Comment.”
”STEVE SMITH SAVE CHEESE MAN….BROWN MAN, WHY FAKE NEWS MAN SHOW CANCELLED?”
”Oh you mean Colbert? He wasn’t funny, but do you know who is funny? Elmo. What do you think Swiss?” I asked.
”No comment.”
”There’s something of a Solzhenitsyn quality to this.” Sugarfree began. “They are lying about Elmo. We know they are lying about Elmo. They know we know they are lying about Elmo. We know they know we know they are lying about Elmo. They know we know they know we know they are lying about Elmo. We know they know we know they know we know they are lying about Elmo…and yet?”
”No comment.” Swiss chugged the pitcher of Golden Mary.
Inquiring minds want to know what Swiss Corp’s relationship with Elmo is.
Why is there a skinny cow in my yard, and what was that red thing I just saw run around the corner?
NO. COMMENT.
It’s, uh, consensual.
”Today I have Wynchwood Brewery Hobgoblin Ruby Red Ale. I know they say better dead than red, but in this case if you don’t like reds, fuck you. Wynchwood Brewery Hobgoblin Ruby Red Ale: 3.8/5. To bad its from the UK and they made it to conform to the Queen’s alcohol serving guidelines. I can drink like, 20 of these.” I said.
I think I’ve had this beer. If it is the beer I’m thinking of, it was pretty good.
Vindication! Imam not completely insane.
“Imam not completely insane.”
Perhaps poorly-thumbed, but not insane. Or perhaps a sharp shift to Islam! In which case…
Is it actually a red? It looks like a porter in the picture.
Does the carpet match the drapes?
It’s a red like Smithwick’s, the goblet and lighting would make it go darker.
That’s the trouble with the reds. There are so many fakes.
Barrio Brewing here in Tucson makes a red. May be my favorite of theirs. I like a red.
”They don’t have a queen, she’s dead. Now there’s a king.” Sugarfree corrected me.
Are we really sure about that?
Who is Elmo?
It’s El Mo, a famous gay dude from Spain
So, The Mo?
Sorry Yusuf, you’re just a Mo, you have to up your gayme to be The Mo.
The Bart, the!
So, I’m good?
Muh egghead consensus
Six months into President Donald Trump’s second administration, national security elites at the annual Aspen Security Forum have accepted that this president has irrevocably upended the global order.
Against the backdrop of the leafy Aspen Meadows Resort, former and current U.S. and foreign officials, business leaders and analysts acknowledged publicly and privately that the Trump administration has dealt a lasting blow to much of the post-World War II consensus around free trade and long-term cooperation.
“We have to recognize that we’re probably not going back to exactly that system,” former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said at the closing panel of the summit. Rice is a co-chair of the Aspen Strategy Group, which puts on the annual Rocky Mountains national security confab.
Her words reflect the striking efficacy of the second Trump administration, which in its first six months has taken a sledgehammer to the norms and conventions that governed U.S. trade relations, use of military force and engagement with stalwart partners and alliances. It has also overseen the elimination of agencies that handle foreign policy tasks — most notably the now-defunct U.S. Agency for International Development — and slashed staff within the intelligence community, the Pentagon and the State Department.
Those poor elite security experts. Mass suicide is the only answer.
“…upended the global order.” It was in such fine shape till Trump came along.
It was probably working tolerably well for someone.
Just not for American citizens.
Well, non-elite American citizens.
The first time Trump was president, the national security establishment started out thinking they could influence his policy, and then assumed his policy moves could be easily reversed once he left office. Now that same group is struggling to come up with strategies to influence even on the edges, especially when the administration doesn’t want to be part of the conversation.
Trump is so dumb. He’s incapable of learning.
Interesting how the national security establishment doesn’t see themselves as taking direction from the President.
Top. Men.
Salt Rimmer eh? NTTAWTT
I guess…
“”Single use kitchen gadgets are ridiculous.” Sugarfree said.”
I agree. Except fire extinguishers. Which technically put out more than one kind of fire….
You can also use those to wake up your friends or siblings for a laugh
Also handy for a hasty smoke machine.
When I was stationed in Texas, someone would buy beer that was almost always warm. A tub would be found, and a CO2 extinguisher.
Cold beer in a jiffy. They we’d get in trouble later when facility engineering saw that all the fire extinguisher in the barracks were inop…
And Trump’s overhaul of federal agencies and departments was met with resignation and even some optimism. In informal conversations, there was recognition from some attendees that the State Department was overdue for reform to cut through decades of bureaucracy. The main protest was about the manner in which the cuts were being made.
Watch: The Conversation
Trump Border Czar Tom Homan: ‘There Will Be No Amnesty’ | The Conversation
Play Video
Trump Border Czar Tom Homan: ‘There Will Be No Amnesty’ | The Conversation
“They all need reform,” said a former U.S. diplomat who attended the forum of USAID and State. “There are a lot of challenges with how the bureaucracy is set up, and part of it is because of congressional demands. But this isn’t reform. This is just dismantling and shutting down government bodies … and poor treatment of federal workers.”
Those poor Top Men.
You know what I have not forgotten?
LEARN. TO. CODE.
They can all go fuck themselves. The pity card isn’t accepted around here.
Amen.
I’ll go one better. Vaccine requirements.
If you sit around enough like-minded people who tell each other how indispensable they are, this is what you get. See, also, academia.
Even if you hate Trump and everything he stands for, you should question just how good all these State Department and intelligence agency people are given all the mistakes over the last 25 years or so.
Raven….this came up just the other day with the wife. I was tracing back all of the ‘great’ men, the movers and shakers starring in all of our history books…and all the bumblefuckery they got up to and what it gave us.
If the post ww2 world order is dying it is past due. “You (USA) pay for all of our (rest of the world) shit” is not what I would have come up with post war.
I think the premise was that if only the rest of the world would catch up to us economically they would naturally become more like us culturally. Therefore we gave everyone a leg up. The Chinese are the poster child for how that turns out.
@Raven – you’re assuming they were mistakes and not done to intentionally stir the hornets nest.
Preach it.
It’s a job. He is your employer. Sometimes employees get fired.
I have been fired 4, maybe 5 times. So boo fucking hoo.
Akshully, that’s a bad idea. Writing code will be a solid AI task.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/textbased/media/text-14919635/stephen-colbert-cancellation-reason-financial-ad-revenue.html
Nothing to do with people being tired of being force-fed leftist politics. Everyone is just happy to pay extra to “stream” and watch tiny videos on their phones. 🙄
Apparently some asshats tried to protest on one of the bridges from Cincinnati to Covington.
Fucked around on the Ohio side and Found Out on the KY side.
Did they get dumped into the Ohio River?
Linky?
Perhaps this?
I found this too.
Ya sorry..thats it that Neph posted
HA LONG BAY, Vietnam (AP) — A boat carrying tourists capsized during a sudden thunderstorm in Vietnam on Saturday afternoon during a sightseeing excursion, killing 34 people, state media reported. Eight others remain missing.
——-
Damn. Mom came to visit me and we met in Vietnam. We bought tickets for a boat trip through there. Those rock formations and entire vibe, elevated by the smooth sailing and catered afternoon, is high on my list of ‘Most Beautiful Place’ I’ve been.
https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=cc5d1e9e4e9758b6&rlz=1CATSMI_enUS1160US1160&sxsrf=AE3TifOAG40C8QYtusOpME_9iwt2pModvA:1752951759223&q=ha+long+bay+vietnam+rock+formations&udm=2&fbs=AIIjpHxU7SXXniUZfeShr2fp4giZ1Y6MJ25_tmWITc7uy4KIeoJTKjrFjVxydQWqI2NcOhZS8MA-siX0k7PIasuZieEwwmkXRW2Chak1C78CXH70CiflTFd7L_DWOY0rP1Y1XE94ncsbcmwoF_t-3mdeIQAnXLlxyllCMAnaUuDmu4XcV4e3gJ4X6VrYw5pbtRPiwPLQxMOaKnSCG8XxijzYbJS8N1u88Q&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiI26qXzsmOAxXJhIkEHZ6mK8AQtKgLKAF6BAgVEAE&biw=1394&bih=650&dpr=1.25
That *is* impressive! Beats the WI Dells, although those were worth seeing — at least back when I was much, much younger.
I regret not seeing any of the ‘sights’ in Taiwan or China in the late 90s/early 2000s.
Don’t get on a boat in Asia. It is known.
I thought it was “never leave the boat”.
C’mon… they’ve been studying watercraft in Asia for thousands of years.
It’s all junk science, but still.
Pssst… wanna know a secret, Shirley?
“I don’t think it’s a lack of social skills. I just think we don’t care,” said Dametrius “Jet” Latham, a TikTok creator and Gen Zer who recently picked up more than 1.4 million views on a video about the topic.
I’m pretty sure caring, or at least feigning interest in your surroundings, is a social skill.
But feel free to continue looking like a slackjawed moron. I will continue assuming that is what you are.
Another generation doing what every generation has done since the beginning of time.
Gen Zzzzzzzzzzzzz?
Hand in the cookie jar look?
Actually, that’s the normal look from my middle grand daughter’s husband. His personality matches his expression.
Demetrius no comprende that social skills consist almost entirely of mediating how your inner life presents based on the environment/context.
Some experts say young people deadpanning their elders can be observed as far back as the 1950s and 1960s, with the rise of youth culture around rock and roll, Elvis and The Beatles. The blank stare and other forms of defiance can also be seen in 1980s films, such as Howard Hughes’ ”Pretty in Pink” and “Sixteen Candles.”
Dig deep, those experts do,
See, it’s fine. Customer service has been bad for a long time, so there is no problem…
I didn’t know Howard Hughes was still producing movies in the 1980s.
Jesus.
The more you know.™️
Howard Hughes?
such as Howard Hughes’ ”Pretty in Pink” and “Sixteen Candles.”
Howard Hughes directed Pretty in Pink? Was that the Jayne Russell version?
You don’t remember the classic Ducky rant when he got thrown in the girl’s room?
🍿😃
Jayne Russell, or Jane Mansfield?
Onescore remembers
https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=jane+russell+the+outlaw+photos&atb=v198-1&ia=images&iax=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.gettyimages.com%2Fphotos%2Factress-jane-russell-features-on-a-poster-for-the-movie-the-outlaw-picture-id514369975%3Fk%3D6%26m%3D514369975%26s%3D612x612%26w%3D0%26h%3DagBctqdwL2JYJH3xQhwwux80kziKRioJPyTGCxFvEKI%3D
Yummy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qytLNN63RXQ
This is a real oversight on casting’s part.
This made my whole day. STEVE SMITH and beer, together and in harmony.
Why thank you
There’s a bar in Chicago called Quenchers. I did 150+ open mic nights there. They have beer from a few dozen countries. I remember drinking Hobgoblin ale there and liking it. It goes well with a turkey sandwich and chips. That was my usual pre-performance meal.
Imported beers taste better in bottles.
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/2783/
This fucking drive can’t end soon enough.
You shouldn’t be posting while driving.
I’m not. I’m riding. I drove first half. Time for this bitch to be over with.