A stunning blizzard of non sequiturs, lies, excuses and equivocations. Never change, New Republic.
DOGE’s “Big Balls” Was Beaten Up—and Musk Is Already Lying About It
The billionaire claimed that Coristine heroically stopped “a gang of about a dozen young men” from assaulting a woman in her car at night.” He said that Coristine ran over to defend the woman and saved her in spite of being “severely beaten to the point of concussion.” Musk ended his retelling by calling for the federal government to take control of D.C.
They want so badly to claim it was a false flag, just like Trump being shot.
Trump used the attack on Big Balls to echo the same inaccurate, made-for-Fox News sentiments, calling for the federal takeover of D.C. and the mass criminalization of mostly working-class Black and Latino children.
The “call for the mass criminalization of Black and Latino children” is for suggesting that “children” arrested for carjacking be prosecuted as adults. The New Republic can’t seem to grasp that the best way to avoid being charged as an adult for committing a crime is to not commit a crime.
While Trump and Musk claimed a brutal assault involving a gang of men, the MPD reported an unarmed carjacking, with only two 15-year-old suspects detained, a girl and a boy.
Just an amazing sentence-long exercise in obfuscation.
Only two were arrested, therefore only two must have been involved.
That they were unarmed means it wasn’t a serious crime, just youthful hi-jinks, I guess.
Suggesting that Big Balls was beaten up by a teen boy and teen girl is laughing at him for being weak.
Everyone deserves to feel safe in the city they live in, but Big Balls getting mugged is not a valid excuse to start rounding up kids and revoking the little autonomy the city has.
Everything before the comma is a lie, because there are ways to accomplish that. Big Balls wasn’t mugged, he was either carjacked or was trying to stop a carjacking. (Notice they use MPD when it suits them “the MPD reported an unarmed carjacking” and then ignore MPD to call it a mugging.
48-hour rule, sure. But, damn, these fucks are being extra slimy.
This is why he shouldn’t have been let out on bail. There is one last legal hurdle to get this scumfuck out of the country. Give him his right to a speedy trial.
What am I compared to reality? Nothing. I am nothing.
The New Republic can’t seem to grasp that the best way to avoid being charged as an adult for committing a crime is to not commit a crime.
CRAZY TALK!
I kinda don’t like this.
There are numerous laws that shouldn’t exist and people being people, who break dumb laws that shouldn’t exist, predictably break them.
‘The New Republic can’t seem to grasp the best way to avoid being charged as an adult for committing the crime of not being vaxxed, is to get vaxxed.’
The SLD should be assumed around here. There’s no libertarian jurisprudence where carjacking wouldn’t be a crime. Age of the perp could be considered at trial.
I don’t see it Evan. The solution to bad laws is to repeal them, not to pretend that a 16 year old repeat violent offender is a juvenile who deserves a slap on the wrist. Carjackers and muggers should be charged as adults. Hell, I’d argue they are guilty of attempted murder, and premeditated murder when they kill someone because the risk is so obvious.
The New Republic would have been better off if Luke had focused on rebuilding the Jedi Order and stomping out the remnants of the Empire instead of pouting and getting drunk on green milk..
Working class and criminal class are not the same thing, you suppurating asshole.
I’m reminded of the joke about three groups (it was mods, hippies, and skins when I heard it) in an apartment building that burns down in the middle of the day…
“suppurating asshole” for the win. Also, eeeeeewwww.
sup·pu·rate
/ˈsəpyəˌrāt/
verb
gerund or present participle: suppurating
undergo the formation of pus; fester.
I learnt a new word today. Thanks EvilSheldon!
*takes bow*
Mine was “ficus.” Still unclear. It’s a fig tree. Uh. What the fuck is a fig tree? Am I supposed to know what it looks like? Fig off.
Semi-germane: In my last ‘literacy test’ I had to read a list they gave me, from easy (in, at, cat, +) to the end, where “uncontentedness” was a fun one (dis?). “Terpsichore” was the last and I didn’t know it, only one. I think I got it right. I certainly didn’t say CHore.
Take a Bow
The idea that it is racist to prosecute black and brown people for violent crimes they actually commit is one of the most vile examples of magical thinking out there. You don’t cease to be a worthless piece of criminal filth because the prosecutor refuses to charge you for rape, or murder. You just get to continue to be a worthless piece of criminal filth in your neighborhood, preying on your neighbors, who statistically are likely to be black and brown people.
I like the vandal.
(No surprise, but when the story first broke, it was blamed on a racist guy).
Stop that shit.
It was meant to honor Marxism.
Also, “children”.
Just little kids out at 3am having some fun.
I have to admit, the whole thing does reek of inauthenticity. Unlike, say, a gay black actor getting doused in bleach and having a noose put around his neck by MAGA rednecks in downtown Chicago at 2 in the morning.
There’s no crime in DC!
/goes and queues up the Pietasters (motto: Murder Capital Soul/Ska).
The Trump shooting being a false flag, he was hit by shrapnel, it was faked blah blah reality isn’t real tactic was…wow.
Stupid vs genius
Mendacious vs honest
Insane vs sane
^These all have the same difference^
It is the left. Ignore them. They never, ever argue in good faith about anything. If they open their mouth, they are lying.
Also, when you see ‘womxn’, stop reading and move on to the next item. I think ‘x’ is a signal that reality is being ignored.
Ivernon2000 doesn’t at all come across as a seething, envious hamplanet.
You know what? I’ll put $20 on Sweeney outliving her.
Between the COPD, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes? I don’t think you’re gonna find many takers…
The Benz Patent Motor Car model 1 was the blueprint for the McLaren F1. I know which one I’d rather be driving.
You cyclists are the worst.
Doctor to kinnath: You’re fat.
kinnath: I want a second opinion.
Doctor: Ok, you’re ugly too.
Every thumb needs a good sucking now and then
Yet there’s a surprising staying power to the story, in a way that suggests there’s more to it than meets the eye. Maybe it’s because of the ad’s surreal interplay with Sweeney’s blonde bombshell image, revealing how much weight that symbol still carries today and the ideas it puts forward about sexuality, race, and gender.
——-
It’s also part of why the jeans/genes ad inspires such a strange mixture of glee and discomfort in its watching audience. When Sweeney lingers on her blondeness and her curves to evoke the bombshell, she’s invoking a powerful archetype. The blonde bombshell comes with an association of retro ’50s Americana that’s comforting for an audience that imagines that America peaked in the postwar decades. For another audience, less powerful than the nostalgia is the implied threat that comes with it: This is what good genes look like, and if you deviate from the norm, you can be punished.
To be clear, there’s no reason to think Sweeney is clued into any of these malevolent implications when she shows off her curves in a jeans ad. She likes to nod to Marilyn Monroe in her styling, in the same way that lots of actresses celebrated for their sex appeal do.
But the archetype is so powerful that you can’t leave behind its baggage. The blonde bombshell embodies ideas of race and gender so thoroughly that she seems to invite political readings. We become obsessed with Sweeney’s politics because the political symbolism behind blonde bombshell is among the most potent forces in American celebrity.
I bet Constance Grady could suck the chrome off a trailer ball.
That nonsense is intended to convince the people who already decided to despise a beautiful woman that their envy is really something else. It’s completely predictable and completely uninteresting.
The amount of effort people put into this type of navel gazing instead of doing something even remotely productive is unsettling.
Fuck. I have clicked on a Vox link.
[Dalek voice] DE CON TAM IN ATE!!! DE CON TAM IN ATE!!!
Bonus thumsucking.
Library of Congress Website Deleted Part of the Constitution That Trump Doesn’t Like. Now They’re Calling It a ‘Coding Error’
It’s obviously the only and authoritative source. The online document that is.
And the usurper defiled the holy writ (that we ignore whenever we have our hands on the levers of power).
I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.
Dick Tater!!
JFC these people need to be institutionalized.
The Dictators!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krb-N5Jtz8A&list=RDkrb-N5Jtz8A&start_radio=1
Article I Section 9 also authorizes Congress to limit immigration starting in 1808. Trump certainly hates that part.
It inspires neither of those things, it’s just somewhat trite play on words, and if we’re being honest the people freaking out about it don’t believe this shit either, they’re just butthurt that the ad had a hot white chick instead of a fat black tranny.
It’s a dad joke. The progressive left are losing it over a dad joke. They want to punish poor Sidney, and send her to a punnery for a dad joke.
Those people are the followers. The true believers who lead them down that path – the View coven, MSNBC figures, most Dem politicians under the age of 40, etc. – are the ones who actually believe she’s a Nazi.
She’s NOT a bombshell, cute at best and a bit curvy, but pass.
Yusef gets it.
Take away the tits and she’s a 5, at best.
Yet there’s a surprising staying power to the story,
Only because wicked people like the writer of this piece are trying to astroturf outrage.
Basically, it’s the Icky Class that likes Sweeney, and the Icky Class must not have things the Credentialed Class disapproves of.
I need to identify a nice vacation location for next spring. Needs to be drivable within two days from eastern Iowa.
Looking for some nice scenery and a quiet location. Cabin rental would be ideal.
Would be looking for 1st to 2nd week of March. This overlaps spring break for a lot of school districts.
Any ideas?
PA Grand Canyon area.
Weather in early March?
https://www.accuweather.com/en/us/wellsboro/16901/march-weather/335342
That covers much of Western NY, Western PA, West Virginia, and a bunch of points West.
That lines up with a Tiki Weekender up here in Ohio, but if you’re looking for more nature (although it may be a bit chilly in March), take a look in the Hocking Hills area. I have a feeling this may be up your alley (there’s other options as well).
West Virginia – take a break from the flat. Many cabin rentals in state parks, campgrounds, and via online vacay rental places.
And the best part is, you don’t have to worry about the weather because it’s guaranteed to change.
Snowshoe Mountain is a lot of fun in the summer. And the winter too, but the summer has mountain biking and bluegrass festivals.
I was born in Bluefield, WV. Already named, moved to my namesake when I was six months old.
Colin, six years older, went to school there and has a few childhood memories. We drove through several years ago and went to our old house. It had been abandoned for a bit and we helped ourselves in. DAMN nice stairs, some fancy wood and nicely carved. It had been squatted. My crib room had a fun four-leaf green clover painted on the wall. Very girly.
Weird to see other people’s reactions to a place they actually remember. Odd desire were I God-King, or… very very wealthy: Take the family to Singapore. Spend maybe three days there to see my old haunts and explore the island. Pretty much, Asian Manhattan, ~5M people on an island on the equator in the Indian Ocean. Then, they have a weekend pass to fly to anywhere. Dad predictably, and understandably, said he’d go to Vietnam, given the choice. (Born in ’49, he was forced through Basic +, but didn’t go to Vietnam.)
McDowell County is such a sad place. An empty soul, just. Yuck.
I think in March you need to head South, Kinnath. No hurricanes, etc.
Climate was not in his initial criteria.
Yes, the general idea is to flee winter. South is the direction we usually head. But I am open to other ideas.
San Diego is nice in March
San Diego is nice year round.
Gator hunting in Louisiana?
Do you require electricity? Drive-up access? Indoor plumbing?
If not, have I got the place for you!
Mohican State Park is nice. Thou March may be a bit early.
Wyoming, Yellowstone.
‘Nuff said.
If the roads are open that early.
Don’t do Yellowstone, it’s an awful place, overrated.
Everyone deserves to feel safe in the city they live in, but Big Balls getting mugged is not a valid excuse to start rounding up kids and revoking the little autonomy the city has.
Next you’ll tell me a single highly improbable event shouldn’t be used as the basis for a sweeping legislative solution to a nonexistent problem.
I’ll make an exception in this case. I call for Congress to pass Big Balls’ Law.
https://i0.wp.com/blogs.princeton.edu/cotsen/wp-content/uploads/sites/88/2017/09/Fig.2.jpg
https://blogs.princeton.edu/cotsen/2017/09/tanuki/
Will we get Big Balls Alerts on our phones?
You like Big Balls and you cannot lie?
If D.C. doesn’t get its act together, and quickly, we will have no choice but to take Federal control of the City, and run this City how it should be run, and put criminals on notice that they’re not going to get away with it anymore.
Does that include Muriel Bowser?
The left is resorting to their usual tactic of pointing how much crime dropped under Joe.
Dropped from where? In which cities or states? Are just making shit up? Who the fuck knows.
I can’t stop laughing at this.
https://x.com/MostlyPeacefull/status/1953195122067423363
OMG, that is funny.
Now I’m thinking of all the ways one could do that without resorting to the old “prison wallet.”
Tape it to your thigh?
I have faith, I mean, Browns fans managed to sneak a keg into the stadium for years in the Dawg Pound.
Forwarded to my younger friends.
Neph’s plan is called the “Spinal Tap”.
I’m sure he could handle more than one.
One to throw on the floor, one to…keep.
So, are you saying you need a throw-down dildo, in case you need to… what, exactly?
Thats funny,
/Derek Smalls laughs
I’ll put $20 on Sweeney outliving her.
That might depend on how committed she (SS!) is to following the Marilyn Monroe trajectory.
Hopefully, she’s too smart to sleep with any Kennedy political family members.
The tree did overcome the Kennedy.
I’m rooting for a White House wedding to Barron. Imagine the pageantry in the new ballroom combined with the collective hive mind of the left imploding.
Competitive shooter/classic car restorer/ real estate mogul doesnt usually add up to …whatever happened to Marylin.
Monroe was an empty, desperate to be loved lost soul. It is really sad. I dont see that with Sweeny.
“You ash filled buckets.”
I’ll give you three guesses who I would prefer to have hauling my ashes.
Better ash than lard.
The Cleveland Browns, so they can let you down one last time?
Meet the Zyklon B heiress who is sailing to Gaza
Who says this isn’t the best timeline?
Wow. There is a lot to hate those two paragraphs.
A study predicted huge climate damages. But it had a fatal flaw: Uzbekistan.
Trust the bullshit models! Science.
We know Borat’s opinion of Uzbekistan.
Well, they can always fall back on “He’s a racist and deserved it like those Nazis in Cincinnati.”
Just wait. That will come next when it turns out it was a huge crowd of gangbangers
They will. Of that I have no doubt.
The glee at the sight of a doge-bro covered in blood just drips off the page.
Not sure if this has been posted yet – Jarvis has an excerpt from Kamala’s new book:
https://x.com/jarvis_best/status/1952771831792058796
Now that is amusing. I refuse to pay for that book but I will take Abbie Hoffman’s advice for once and steal it.
Ehh. I’d be surprised if Kammy was literate, but I’m sure that her handlers know enough to hire a literate ghostwriter…
I know it is a parody but it does read kinda like a documentary.
I must have hallucinated the last 19 years that Gazans had Gaza to themselves. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The ‘ol “I had to murder him, dont you see!” line is just for TV shows.
Put that evil fuck in a gibbet.
I’m going to have to agree with Sargon on this.
Flog. Deport.
“Look, if there weren’t any Jews to rape, torture and kill, we wouldn’t have raped, tortured and killed any Jews.”
Maybe it was one of them autonomous pistols
After a soldier allegedly opened fire on his own unit at Fort Stewart, fellow soldiers subdued and detained him until authorities arrived, highlighting both the rapid response by troops and ongoing concerns over base security.
——-
Soldiers who witnessed the shooting jumped the suspect and prevented anyone else from possible harm, officials said.
“Soldiers in the area that witnessed the shooting immediately, and without hesitation, tackled the soldier, subdued him, and allowed law enforcement to then take him into custody,” Brig. Gen. John Lubas said.
It was all just a misunderstanding.
You mean a Sig?
I might believe that.
Small favors, but I do appreciate that Trump’s English grammar is good enough that he doesn’t confuse ‘atrocity’ and ‘tragedy.’
FYI
“Getting one’s ashes hauled” is a slang expression that means to engage in sexual activity or achieve sexual gratification.
The term is often used informally in conversation.
The Free Dictionary
I guess it’s more obscure than I realized.
I burn wood for heat. About every 2-3 weeks I have to haul my own ashes.
It’s the literal meaning, at my age.
Can not unread.
Bizarre.
Jelly Roll Morton (New Orleans jazz musician, not the other crappy Jelly Roll around today) had a rhyme in one of his songs saying,
“Do you see that spider crawling up that wall / She’s goin’ up there to get her ashes hauled”
Frantic desperation
Following weeks of controversy over the Justice Department’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein probe, Jen Psaki said Attorney General Pam Bondi is carrying out a “desperate” plan to get back in Donald Trump’s good graces.
On Monday, Bondi directed the DOJ to launch a grand jury investigation into baseless allegations that the Obama administration manipulated intelligence during its probe into Russia’s meddling during the 2016 election.
“Pretty peak desperate, isn’t it?” Psaki said of Bondi’s move.
“There are few issues that have been as exhaustively investigated as this one,” the MSNBC host continued on Tuesday’s “The Briefing with Jen Psaki,” noting the probe by special counsel Robert Mueller, the bipartisan Senate Intelligence Committee investigation and special counsel John Durham’s investigation into the matter — all of which began during Trump’s first term — found no evidence of a criminal conspiracy among Obama administration officials.
Based on their well established record of rhetorical bait and witch tactics and general tendency toward niggling sophistry, I immediately ask myself if “criminal conspiracies among Obama officials” were ever the actual focus of any of those probes.
“The intelligence community didn’t put anything out about Russia’s intervention until Oct. 7, which basically blamed Russia for the release of hacked emails from Hillary Clinton’s server. [It] did not assert they were trying to elect Trump. It just stated, ‘The Russian Government directed the recent compromises of e-mails from US persons and institutions, including from US political organizations.’ And again, encourage states to protect their infrastructure because that was a concern at the time,” Psaki recalled, adding: “Admittedly, it’s all pretty weak stuff in retrospect, given what we know now.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What we know now? And just what might that be?
Nice nonspecific insinuation, Jen.
The luscious, lubricious declivities of these Ass Wednesday lasses remind you that if done properly, “fuck” is an onomatopoeia.
https://archive.is/eoIeQ
“But if anyone should be questioning the approach of the Obama administration at the time, the last person who’s justified to do so is Donald Trump,” Psaki concluded. “I mean, without Russia, he might just be playing bad golf and eating burgers at Mar-a-Lago.”
Obama totally didn’t tell anybody Trump was a Russian plant, but he should have.
Psaki is as evil as Brennan. Thankfully she doesn’t have the CIA behind her. Or does she?
According to a source familiar with the matter, Jen Psaki enjoys being fucked in the ass with the wide end of empty bottles of Boone’s Farm. She claims, without evidence, that her asshole is too tight to accommodate the wide end; we have reached out to her alleged lover, the homeless guy from the bus stop, for confirmation of her anal girth but did not receive comment in time for print.*
*Hey feds, this was parody.
*Hey, Feds. I’m a fellow, and I’m, uh. Not done. You need to say more. Go faster. More. More. STROKE from the staff, but he’ll be alright. Keep going.
* taps mic *
Is this thing on?
Hola, Chica!
Hola!
YAS! I’m no longer in the spam bucket!
I suggest “55-gallon lube procurement department.”
Fuck off, Tulpa
I’m no longer in the spam bucket!
Ewww.
Spam sushi is objectively better than froot sushi
Sometimes I have a comment typed out and just before hitting send I think….nah, that would be in poor taste. I mean it writes itself but….nah.
I mad Spam Parm – spam, tomato sauce, mozz cheese
It didn’t work.