Remember that thing we’ve been doing the past few years where we review a holiday movie? Yeah, that’s happening again. Cue the Thanksgiving movie. Hooaaaaaaaaaaah
This is my review of Gold Dot Brewing Luxurious Helles Lager:
Our story begins in a northeastern preparatory school where Charlie, a student on a scholarship to this blue blood institution is offered a job to babysit a senior citizen over the Thanksgiving Holiday. He accepts in order to purchase a plane ticket home over Xmas. Easy money, almost too easy, so what’s the catch? We’ll get there.
Meanwhile, the headmaster of this pipeline to the Ivy League pulls up during his morning commute in his Jaguar. Seriously? It wasn’t even an E-Type. He is physically assaulted by his students in the parking lot. What a bitch, they got him good.
Okay fine it was just a prank and in his investigation later that day he finds there are two potential witnesses, one of whom is Charlie, who is all but promised a way into Harvard if he cooperates with the investigation. So the headmaster makes plans for the school disciplinary committee to convene in front of the student body the Monday following the Thanksgiving holiday. The show trial was bad enough news for Charlie, because the job he took was going to make for one hell of a weekend. This guy saved up several years worth of disability checks. Hooaaaaaaaaah.
The senior citizen is Lt. Col Frank Slade, a blind Vietnam Veteran, cranky, irritable, and an downright hilarious but classy alcoholic. He has plans for the weekend that are simple: stay at a luxurious hotel in Manhattan, eat amazing food and drink, have relations with a woman, and then take his own life. There is an obvious mentor-protégé relationship between the two and at times a younger version of me would probably nod along thinking I can learn a lot from Lt. Col. Slade, and maybe even take a few notes. We later learn things about Slade that show how deeply flawed he is, that he truly is suicidal, and instead of facing his demons he chooses instead to run. Including how he became blind—his war record while impeccable, is not the reason. We find this out in a classic Thanksgiving table argument with his nephew, played by the guy that only seems to play annoying shitbags whether its Billy Madison or The West Wing. Slade pays no mind to his nephew’s personal insults and instead chokes him out because he kept calling Charlie, “Chucky”. Leaving me once again thinking I can learn a lot from Lt. Col. Slade, and maybe even take a few notes.
Slade learns of Charlie’s predicament at school and advises that he cooperate. The reason being the other student likely will and it is better to get ahead. Sound tactical advice. When they get back to school come Monday, something else entirely happens and it appears Charlie is going to become the fall guy. This movie is slow at times, has deep dialogue, and probably not one to watch while getting wasted. Only watch this movie primarily because of this last scene. In the end, both men learn things from each other and have a new lease on life. Slade is no longer suicidal, and even manages to impress a reasonably attractive woman in the process.
Can his movie be made today? I hope they don’t. Even updating it for a more current war, Slade would have better access to others in his depressed state and would ultimately be supported by the Veteran community. For better or worse there is also an underhanded message in this film that in order to deviate from decorum, you still have to respect it and be part of it. That sort of thing is hard, and takes courage to do. Our present culture lacks this quality so attempts to depict it will probably fall short.
One thing to note about this movie, is there is a scene where Charlie orders a beer at a fancy restaurant. When asked for ID, Slade interjects and assures the waiter he’s of age. Okay, so what kind of beer? Slade orders Schlitz for Charlie and a number of others if they didn’t have it. I just thought it was funny how highly people thought of Schlitz at the time. So what of this beer? I’m not too familiar with the brewer but since Helles is a Pils adjacent I would be willing to try others they make. Its simple, and true to style. It says its luxurious on the can, maybe Slade will drink it. Gold Dot Brewing Luxurious Helles Lager: 3.1/5
The senior citizen is Lt. Col Frank Slade, a blind Vietnam Veteran, cranky, irritable, and an downright hilarious but classy alcoholic.
Which one of you is this? I’m too young, and didn’t serve in the military.
None of us, Lt. Col. Slade praises LBJ in this movie, a sin no one here would commit I hope.
Yeah I forgot about that part. Slade was tracked for Congress.
Time for the annual kicking of Buckeye butt.
Enjoy.
Wolverines!!
Ohio State is the Dallas Cowboys of college football.
There, I said it. Come at me, bro.
I can at least defend Cleveland in general pulling for the Buckeyes as we’re in the same state, most of us know someone who went there, and don’t we deserve to at least root for one team that wins once in a while?
I like lagers, will seek this one out.
I prefer the Scent of Female
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpYyO3ioDKA&list=PLF0yIDuA63HWMb14mEneH26FGMb2POGw5
If you’re out of Schlitz you’re out of beer.
I bought a Schlitz sign from one of Slope’s auctions. It was a big hit with the buddy I gave it too.
They had to ban beer at the beach. Because the girls were getting sand in their Schlitz.
Scoutmaster told me that one when I was 11 years old.
That’s an oddly non-gay joke for a scoutmaster.
It was the 60s.
Girl Scout Master?
Fourscore is wise
More stupid chippy bullshit (OSU game). That’s why I don’t generally watch college football.
The Dark.
I’m curious about what is in the stock pot. Soup, perhaps? Chile without beans?
Proper chili, of course, has no beans. Which can be served as a side dish, of course.
Shocks the conscience
Elon Musk is on his way to $1 trillion. According to The Washington Post, Tesla shareholders approved a $1 trillion compensation package for Musk that averages $100 billion a year over 10 years. An interactive pay breakdown from the Post shows how the numbers line up next to real workers’ salaries.
——-
The Post reported that Musk’s projected annual pay roughly matches the combined paychecks of all 3.2 million U.S. cashiers, based on Bureau of Labor Statistics data. It also said his yearly average is about $3 billion more than the combined pay of 1.4 million elementary school teachers in the country. The comparison extends to human resources specialists as well since their total income still falls $26.7 billion short of Musk’s yearly amount, according to the Post.
I’ll concede “cashiers”. Elementary school teachers and HR parasites? Cut it the fuck out.
I wonder how many giraffes high Musk’s money would be if you stacked it up?
Elon might possibly be doing something worth paying him for.
Hush, you.
I love how that his compensation package is tied to him pushing Tesla to certain thresholds.
Is something that is never mentioned, or buried well below a spot they know virtually every reader has tapped out.
It’s kind of like the sappy illegals getting deported stories.
Immigrant family man who’s been here for decades gets deported! But that he was convicted of sexual assault with a 60 year old deportation order is somehow left out or buried.
No mention of the incredible goals he has to meet to get 1 trillion?
Which will never happen because reality is crashing the party.
But it’s fun to watch the left preen about green fantasies that have been enriching the boogeyman for so long.
The elementary school teachers cost far more than that combined.
I see you met my former sister in law.
Michigan seems to be trying to hide the fact that their freshman QB is not very good.
People *ever* took Schlitz seriously? Like, in any capacity? I thought it was always canned, cheap six-pack beer, often at gas stations. I’m not all wrong, here.
In the before Evan times, when there was limited beer selection it was a nice beer. Exotic even, depending on your location.
Yes, now its sold with true exotics, like Earthquake.
Reminds me of when I saw Leinenkugels listed as an import.
In Wisconsin.
Olympia in the short bottles. Or stubbies, or whatever they were called.
’60s in PA, I considered Schlitz a premium beer. Did it use corn syrup or something like that to give it a distinctive flavor?
In the late ’60s I could get (Spanish) Schlitz delivered to my refrig for $1.40 a case.
Coke (acola) was a buck sixty. BX beer was $3 a case and not delivered.
VN, 1967, the military clubs were loaded with Blatz, thanks to the Sgt Majs control of the franchise. It was cheap, .10, but most were drinking San Miguel, can’t remember the price, maybe a quarter? I never hung out there.
Malt liquor was originally sold as an upscale drink, recommended to be served in a flute with a lemon twist.
Carlsberg Elephant, its imported and it gets you drunk!
In the before Evan times, when there was limited beer selection it was a nice beer. Exotic even, depending on your location.
Better than Carling Black Label, if you can believe that.
Back in BE times you could get all fancy and drink Michelob, or Miller High Life the “Champagne of Beers.”
Hey we had imports as well, both Heineken and Molson could be purchased, occasionally Bass.
Lowenbrau or Heineken ooh classy….
In Arizona we had access to Coors and Colt .45, oh yeah.
When the army sent me to Ft Lewis I was introduced to Rainier (meh beer but great commercials), Henry Weinhard’s, and “fire brewed” Stroh’s.
Michelob Dark wasn’t bad.
Michelob Dark is the beer that launched a million farts.
I have some Reiner merchandise. A mirror, a light up bar sign and a bottle with legs sign my wife found for my birthday. The latter took an unnecessary trip to Hawaii from Spokane WA to make it to Lewiston idaho. Why not add an extra two thousand miles to the trip UPS?
Wilmer Bros commercials were better.
“Is your blonde ale a real blonde?”
“Yes, I looked under the label”
I remember my parents buying beer in the 80s.
Choice was severely limited.
They threw a big party and the distributer had four beers in kegs to choose from.
Back in 1990, I packed my 19-year old girlfriend into my rickety Mitsubishi and headed to Tallahassee for the Florida State game. We couldn’t get tickets, so we found a bar that wasn’t too particular about checking ID and watched the game there.
Our stalwart saurians fell short that day, but we were having such a good time that we “celebrated” by splitting a bottle of Grand Marnier.
Fast forward thirty-five years. I married the girl, and we still commemorate the UF-FSU game with some GranMa.
Today was more chill to start, but I was doing oversize stuff, so a slower pace, in general. But then…by around noon? Shit started ramping up and it became another monster. Fuck. Walmart stopped all online orders because it was too much. I asked if it was just ours or all US, and we think all Walmart locations had to. I was still mostly doing side stuff, even some little tiddly bits. It was a sweet day. For me. Busy, but out on my own.
I snapped a few pics to give the madness some non-banana scale. I’m glad my day was more off to the side. It was nuts. You people. All of you.
Off to our actual Thanksgiving dinner. Salmon wellington is our main. My soup is… *damn.* I’m very, very happy with it. I believe I’ve elevated it to Main Star territory. It’ll be fun.
Much consternation awaits as Aspie Dad reveals his necessary entry into our potluck, the charcuterie thingy. Just the pre-made ones he can get anywhere. I fear American cheese, in protestation of this favor to Mom.
We shall see. I lack confidence in his presentation.
I went to Walmart today to cash some checks. My first “day” is 10 pm Sunday to 7 am Monday.
Anyway, the store was jam-packed. I had a flash of nostalgia as I saw a boy admiring a recently purchased toy dinosaur.
Then I ate at Waffle House (or WaHo) as some call it. It’s cold enough for me to wear my Army trenchcoat. I like that.
Should be slow(er), Derp. A good way to start.
Earthquake Malt Liquor…when you pop the top, the panties drop.
Never forget my 40 oz. King Cobras
/ good old days?
From my youth…..Little Kings. I think the 1st time I got sick from beer it was from downing about a dozen of those little devils.
They’re back!
Back in the before times, they showed up at one of the beer fests, most of us had one, and took the paper crown to wear the rest of the night. A couple years back they introduced two flavors. Orange and lime agave, they were also terrible, but were recommended to be made into terrible drinks.
Mickeys big mouth, notorious malt likka!!!
The winds are finally filling in. Off for a sail.
Sail on, broad reach ftw!