Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Dec 17, 2025 | Daily Links | 117 comments

With our friend SugarFree still missing at sea, I’ll handle the linkages this afternoon as well. I want to take a second to wish everyone well this holiday season. Our biggest problem has been — what do you get for 10 & 12 year olds who don’t play team sports and have one of everything else? Well you know what they don’t have? Socks. I don’t know whether they’re eating them or throwing them away after using them for self-pleasure, but they are always out of fucking socks. I’m going to get them a crate of socks. A fucking… gross of socks. So many goddamn socks, I don’t have to worry about them washing them and still have socks this time next year. Imagine what an epic story that will be. “Remember that year when mom and dad got us socks for Christmas? I’m wrapping up this raccoon I found on the side of the road and sending it to them.”

So anyways, enough about my kids’ future therapy sessions here’s … the links!

My boy Quinn Ewers is going to get his start in the NFL this weekend. I bet he wishes he was making Sanders money to get his ass kicked in. Thank God its the Bengals.

This is too good to be real. Prosecuting the J6 prosecutors? I’m getting a chubby.

I wonder if he got the COVID vax.

“I’m just gonna go to the Dollar Tree and chill out.” That’s weird. Although, she was a physician, so maybe she figured it was an easy way to commit a rather painless suicide. An hour or so of being cold and then nothing.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

117 Comments

  1. R.J.

    Might have posted early. I’m just going to first vigorously and then leave.

      • Brochettaward

        Not enough hip movement. We all know that Firsting is all in the hips.

        First – thrust – First – thrust – First – thrust. This is the way.

  2. Bobarian LMD

    ” I’m wrapping up this raccoon I found on the side of the road and sending it to them.”

    It was a Florida Christmas Miracle! A Hallmark/CMT Crossover Event.

  3. Shpip

    A longtime conservative activist, Martin helped organize the “Stop the Steal” movement, a failed effort to pressure courts and Republican lawmakers to overturn Trump’s 2020 defeat to Democrat Joe Biden. He and his allies have long pushed unsubstantiated claims portraying the rioters as victims of politically motivated prosecutions. (Emphasis mine)

    First is was “unsubstantiated claims” that the election might not have been completely on the up-and-up. Now it’s that the nationwide dragnet and kangaroo courts for anyone within a mile of Capitol Hill on that day was politically motivated.

    Which begs raises the question: when did the phrase “unsubstantiated claims” become a synonym for “common knowledge?”

  4. Brochettaward

    Tricky linkers posting the links early.

    • Brochettaward

      Stupid fats hobbits.

      • Bobbo

        Gollum?
        Is that you?

  5. Bobarian LMD

    I don’t think anybody with an objective sense of reality can look at the Justice Department right now and honestly say it’s acting as a neutral arbiter.

    Fuck you, Pal.

    I don’t think anybody with an objective sense of reality can look at the Justice Department under the Biden Administration and honestly say it’s acted as a neutral arbiter.

    • Brochettaward

      Merrick Garland was a buttoned up by the book straight shooter. Why, I read that in Vanity Fair just last night.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Straight shooter. Square G.

  6. Bobarian LMD

    Everybody Wang Kun tonight?

    • Rat on a train

      What you do with your wang is your business.

  7. Bobbo

    That thing that died at 30?
    Not human, not even close

    • EvilSheldon

      Apparently ‘living a monk’s life’ involves using copious amounts of steroids and HGH. Who knew?

  8. Pat

    what do you get for 10 & 12 year olds who don’t play team sports and have one of everything else?

    New lamps for their miner’s helmets? Their first monocle polishing kit?

    • Nephilium

      Wrap something they already have. As a bonus, do it to their favorite toy.

      Just imagine how surprised they’ll be when Santa brings them a replacement.

      • Pat

        One year when I was a kid my dad decided to be a wise ass and re-wrapped a gift he gave me the previous year that I still hadn’t opened or used.

      • Rat on a train

        Individually wrapped pennies. They’re collectibles now.

      • Nephilium

        Pat:

        I have either gotten both of my nephews the same book, or one of them the same book twice.

        In my defense, it’s a good book.

    • Rat on a train

      10 is late to get them started on polishing monocles.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Something like this requires a little finer motor skills than most 10 YO’s have.

      • Aloysious

        SF’d the link. Nice to see tradition honored on a Wednesday.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Try this?

      • Aloysious

        Gracias

      • EvilSheldon

        Better to start kids with pistols, I think. I recommend a .22LR semi-auto that they can do Steel Challenge with.

      • Fourscore

        Reloading equipment. Or wait ’til after Xmas and check the pawn shops, for the man and boys that have nearly every thing.

        Sox sux for Xmas.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Still torn on the confusing 10yo, but Mom got the musically-inclined 12yo an electric guitar, and I’m pitching in with the amp (that *I* didn’t purchase.

      I got the 5yo a play cash register, which should be tremendous fun. I’m gonna pick up something small and handsy for him at work.

  9. Pat

    I wonder if he got the COVID vax.

    Dude was clearly all natty, I doubt he’d do anything like inject exotic drugs into his body…

    • DEG

      He just took an extra scoop of pre-workout and creatine daily.

  10. Pat

    “I’m just gonna go to the Dollar Tree and chill out.”

    You know the economy is bad when physicians are going to Dollar Tree.

    • Fourscore

      And need a GoFundMe…

  11. The Other Kevin

    “Prosecuting the J6 prosecutors?”

    I have seen claims that the committee willfully destroyed video evidence. I hope they go after that.

    • Tonio

      Yep. Destruction of evidence is a crime when the little people do it.

    • rhywun

      I can’t get past the blatant Reuters propaganda to whatever the meat of that story might be.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Go to costco or someplace ang get the bags of a dozen identical pairs of socks, so you don’t have to sort and match them.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    The January 6 prosecutors describe mounting threats, harassment and fear of lasting damage to the U.S. justice system.

    The damage has already been done.

    • The Other Kevin

      And you can’t really undo it, because as soon as the left gets power they’re going to go right back at it, even worse, no matter how they are treated.

  14. Tonio

    The January 6 prosecutors describe mounting threats, harassment and fear of lasting damage to the U.S. justice system.

    Why, you mean the things the J6 participants were subjected to? What, you mean the fear that the lasting damage you did to the justice system will be called to account?

  15. Nephilium

    On the Dolphins front, I saw that Tua is listed as QB3, so he’s not even going to be a backup Sunday. And Sanders is only making $0.3 million more on his rookie contract than Ewers, although he still has his endorsements and NIL money.

  16. Shpip

    I’m not sure this is an improvement

    Billboard said Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” has been replaced on the Global 200 chart by an ’80s classic.

    “Last Christmas” by Wham! reached the No. 1 spot on the chart, Billboard said.

    This marks the first time another holiday song besides Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” has topped the chart since its launch in September 2020.

    • The Other Kevin

      Everyone I know hates Last Christmas. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

      • Nephilium

        The rise of Whamageddon looms large.

      • rhywun

        It’s terrible but not as terrible as literally anything by Mariah Carey.

      • Rat on a train

        What about This Christmas?

    • Pat

      I won’t lie, I timed my retirement from the lucrative and exciting world of retail merchandising for November 30th in part because I didn’t want to listen to 50 hours of All I Want For Christmas, Last Christmas, and Wonderful Christmastime again this year.

  17. Sensei

    They prosecuted the Capitol rioters. Now the rioters and the DOJ are after them.

    Wait, are they rioters or insurrectionists?

    What is the narrative Kenneth?

    • Aloysious

      What is the narrative Kenneth?

      Am I to find Dan Rather and punch him in the head?

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Yes, and you don’t need Xmas to do it!

    • The Other Kevin

      They’re slipping. They should say that now that the insurrectionists have illegally taken control of the government, they’re going after their enemies as expected.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        The left went full douche. You never go full douche.

  18. Sensei

    Nice, calm, but loud adult on the train with what I assume is Downs’s. It is going to be a long ride tonight…

    • The Other Kevin

      Can you slip some Benadryl in his thermos?

      • Sensei

        In young children that can be a stimulant…

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Whisper loudly that there are grilled cheese sandwiches in the club car. He wont come back for hours.

    • Sensei

      He is with an older mom and dad. He doesn’t look at all like them so I assume adopted.

      However, they all seem quite close and it’s touching. Makes putting up with noise OK.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Good on you.

      • Sensei

        He seemed more competent.

  19. Contrarian P

    Pretty sure I don’t give a damn that prosecutors are worried that someone might go after them.

    I work every shift knowing that someone can go after me, even if what I did was the best I could given the information I had and the conditions on the ground, and it could result in a lawsuit that would destroy my professional career. Oh and the DEA can throw me in jail if they think I’m prescribing too manu controlled substances. And my license to work can be taken away for wrongthink. Prosecutors, meanwhile, can grossly abuse their authority, hide evidence, vastly overcharge misdemeanors, and everything else with no fear of any recourse. Screw em.

    • Contrarian P

      Many. Damn phone.

    • Sensei

      I don’t deal with lives, but people’s money.

      Roughly the same, but in my current role I don’t have to make split second decisions.

      In prior roles I did. I truly empathize.

  20. Brochettaward

    Since taking office in January, Trump and his administration have targeted at least 470 people, institutions and other entities with criminal prosecution and other forms of punishment, Reuters reported last month – an average of more than one a day.

    Who did what to the who now?

    Could they be any more vague? They are trying to imply that the administration has targeted all these people in retribution, but notice that they don’t say that it was retribution or if these people, institutions and other entities were actually even enemies of Trump’s. There’s a pretty big difference between say a fine issued by the EPA and Trump having Comey prosecuted. What are they even saying here?

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m still waiting for any of these high profile assholes to have anything bad happen to them. Did I miss something?

      And I’m pretty sure 470 is less than the number of J6 people who were thrown in jail, right?

    • rhywun

      470 is nowhere near enough.

      And does not include any of the worst offenders.

    • Brochettaward

      Government lawyers who handled the January 6 cases have defended their prosecutions. They point to the overwhelming video evidence showing the pro-Trump mob breaching the Capitol and assaulting police officers.

      What percent of those charged had violent offenses? What percent had violent charges that were actual felonies?

      Congressional investigators found that several rioters carried firearms or stockpiled weapons nearby. Some of those charged belonged to far-right extremist groups.

      1. Congressional investigations didn’t find shit. The DOJ/FBI spoonfed them information and they choreographed it’s release to propagandize the American public as to what actually happened that day. And it still didn’t work.
      2. From here, we have to ask ourselves if they were armed and had stockpiled weapons nearby, where were the charges related to those things?
      3. If this was an insurrection as you assholes so frequently claimed, why didn’t a single J6 “rioter” actually make use of those firearms and weapons?

      • Brochettaward

        Akers, who spent seven years at the Justice Department, told Reuters she was convinced Quaglin could once more carry out political violence.

        I’m convinced that somebody COULD ONCE MORE do something! Well, no shit. The people released could once more do something to end up in jail. It’s notable that you and Reuters don’t feel confident to specify how likely that obvious statement actually is while creating the impression to your dopey readers that it would happen.

      • The Other Kevin

        The best argument against this being an “insurrection” is that these are the most armed people in the country, yet they tried to overthrow the government without bringing any weapons with them.

      • Nephilium

        What percent of those charged had violent offenses? What percent had violent charges that were actual felonies?

        Why, was ICE involved? 🙂

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Am I to find Dan Rather and punch him in the head?

    Don’t do that. You’ll hurt your hand.

    Use this sock full of nickels.

    • Rat on a train

      Why do you carry your change in a sock?
      In case I meet Dan Rather.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Inside the Justice Department, a “Weaponization Working Group,” led by Ed Martin, a former defense lawyer for January 6 rioters, is drafting a previously undisclosed report that is re-examining the Capitol attack, according to four January 6 prosecutors and a review of government documents. When presented with Reuters’ findings, a department spokesperson confirmed the report is being drafted.Inside the Justice Department, a “Weaponization Working Group,” led by Ed Martin, a former defense lawyer for January 6 rioters, is drafting a previously undisclosed report that is re-examining the Capitol attack, according to four January 6 prosecutors and a review of government documents. When presented with Reuters’ findings, a department spokesperson confirmed the report is being drafted.Inside the Justice Department, a “Weaponization Working Group,” led by Ed Martin, a former defense lawyer for January 6 rioters, is drafting a previously undisclosed report that is re-examining the Capitol attack, according to four January 6 prosecutors and a review of government documents. When presented with Reuters’ findings, a department spokesperson confirmed the report is being drafted.Inside the Justice Department, a “Weaponization Working Group,” led by Ed Martin, a former defense lawyer for January 6 rioters, is drafting a previously undisclosed report that is re-examining the Capitol attack, according to four January 6 prosecutors and a review of government documents. When presented with Reuters’ findings, a department spokesperson confirmed the report is being drafted.Inside the Justice Department, a “Weaponization Working Group,” led by Ed Martin, a former defense lawyer for January 6 rioters, is drafting a previously undisclosed report that is re-examining the Capitol attack, according to four January 6 prosecutors and a review of government documents. When presented with Reuters’ findings, a department spokesperson confirmed the report is being drafted.Inside the Justice Department, a “Weaponization Working Group,” led by Ed Martin, a former defense lawyer for January 6 rioters, is drafting a previously undisclosed report that is re-examining the Capitol attack, according to four January 6 prosecutors and a review of government documents. When presented with Reuters’ findings, a department spokesperson confirmed the report is being drafted.

    Am I supposed to be scandalized or outraged by this? This sort of analysis should be standard procedure. It’s like watching game films. Especially if they actually consider what other uses those resources might have been put to.

  23. DEG

    I’m wrapping up this raccoon I found on the side of the road and sending it to them

    Gotta get the raccoon drunk first.

    • Nephilium

      There’s sober raccoons?

      • DEG

        In theory.

        I just cracked open a cider. Gotta work late tonight.

    • The Gunslinger

      You know what they say.

      WYPOGNKYAADR

      • DEG

        😉

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Sometimes you just like the headlines?

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Well that was interesting.

  25. Certified Public Asshat

    NEW: Tucker Carlson says a member of Congress told him that President Trump will be announcing tonight that "a war is coming" during his address.Judge Napolitano: "Is Trump going to start a war in Venezuela?"Carlson: "I don't know the answer … here's what I know so far,… pic.twitter.com/TI2n8gwk9T— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) December 17, 2025

    Tucker, I hope you are full of shit.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    How many of the people prosecuted were legitimately identified and caught by investigators and how many were ratted out by “friends” co-workers or family?

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of Venezuela-

    Are those “oil tankers” bringing it in or taking it out?

    • EvilSheldon

      That’s an interesting question. I’ve been hearing talk that Russia has been laundering their sanctioned oil through Venezuela, although for what end I couldn’t guess…

    • R.J.

      *Inserts STEVE SMITH quip.

  28. The Other Kevin

    Good news! About 2 years ago we were looking into debt consolidation, and now I get no less than 10 spam calls a day offering me loans of different terms (I send them to voicemail, they are all from spoofed numbers so I can’t block them). Today’s offer was $75,000 with a monthly payment of only $425! I can’t even get a car loan that good! Time to call back the “loan department”.

    • Fourscore

      20 years is a long time…

    • Rat on a train

      I get calls and texts for so many things I didn’t look into.

    • Sensei

      Landline or cell?

      I have a landline that we use because of older family and I have device that blocks anything but whitelisted numbers.

      • The Other Kevin

        Cell. My phone transcribes voice mai so at least I know what they are without having to listen to them.

    • Nephilium

      From working in the industry, I can tell you that the current best at blocking spam calls is T-Mobile + Pixel. T-Mobile is the wireless carrier that is the most draconian with blocking questionable calls, which causes customers no shortage of grief.

      They really don’t like it when I point out that the carrier is doing what their customers prefer. The internal joke is usually, “Have you asked them to stop making spammy calls?”

      • Sensei

        Pixel + Verizon is pretty good. Maybe 3 to 5 a month and all correctly routed to spam.

        Election season more however. Interestingly a “fuck you” response to the political ones noticeably decreased them.

      • Nephilium

        Sensei:

        My responses are either “Tits or GTFO” or “Commies get the rope”. If there is a response, it’s usually “I’ll remove you from our list”.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Sensei, I have started asking “what are you wearing?”

        Works pretty good.

    • creech

      Sounds good, but fall behind in your payments and you’ll find out they’ve hired STEVE SMITH COLLECTION AGENCY to deal with your ar-rears.

  29. The Other Kevin

    Dan Bongino announced he’s leaving the FBI in January. I wonder what that’s about.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Deputy Director subservient to Kash Patel who SUCKS, maybe?

  30. Evan from Evansville

    By far the biggest news of my day: In a long-overdue cleanup, I found an external drive.. in which I presciently backed up all my shit. So I *do* have vids of my band playing live in Korea and warm-up recordings we made in the studio. I also have my pictures of my decade abroad, which I thought I’d forever lost. That was a gut punch. Deep and personal.

    @Ron (and all): Sincerely, though also with ‘playful’ self-depreciation, when I thought I’d lost ’em all, I out-loud decided I was going to accept it as a stoic lesson. Fretting and bitching wouldn’t bring them back and would only add to my dreadful thoughts of that loss. I’ve lost a lot of memory on the way, and those pics I took were *mine* of *my* time. That was a profoundly unpleasant feeling of loss, but I’m glad I put it to good use. I decided to get everything I could on FB so I had *some* of ’em preserved. I go day by day collecting old posts and have made it an interesting project, so I did actively put the ‘loss’ to use.

    These weeks are lots of fun in history, documenting me signing my first contract in Korea in October, 2009, only five months after graduating IU.
    Me on Dec 17, 2009: “Hot damn! I have an itinerary and I leave Dec. 22. This is a positive development.”
    This was after a bit of visa dealing in Chicago, but IIRC my actual flight was Dec 26 or 27? (I’ll find out soon!)

    Wow. This gives the day a different vibe. (Whodda thought cleaning your room was so helpful?! (Shh. Don’t tell Mom.)

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Deception and deceit

    A California administrative law judge has ruled that Tesla’s marketing around its “Autopilot” and “Full Self-Driving” systems was deceptive, and that the company should face a 30-day suspension of each of its licenses to sell and manufacture cars in the state, according the California Department of Motor Vehicles.

    ——-

    If the marketing issues aren’t resolved within a 60-day window, the DMV will move ahead with a 30-day suspension of Tesla’s license to sell cars in the state, the agency said in a statement. However, Gordon said, the DMV will stay the judge’s order for a suspension of Tesla’s manufacturing license, so there will be no interruption to the company’s factory operations in the state.

    Who actually believes that stuff?

    • PutridMeat

      Who said something about political persecutions and weaponization?

      The problem is that, once you open the FUCKING box, it isn’t closing again. Thanks, you power hungry ass-hats, for destroying your, and unfortunately our, inheritance.

      • Rat on a train

        But they weaponized for a good cause.

    • Threedoor

      No one should need a license to manufacture or sell.

      The end.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “A reasonable consumer likely would believe that a vehicle with Full Self-Driving Capability can travel safely without a human driver’s constant, undivided attention,” the judge wrote in the proposed order. “This belief is wrong — both as a technological matter and as a legal matter — which makes the name Full Self-Driving Capability misleading,” a violation of both civil and vehicle codes in California.

    Maybe a judge would accept that at face value.

    • Sensei

      Musk has lied about this for almost a decade. I’ve no issues with Tesla finally getting what it deserves here.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    I can’t help thinking 98% of what Musk has said about Teslas qualifies as blatant exageration and puffery.

    Jeeps “go anywhere” (well, not really).

  34. J. Frank Parnell

    Prosecuting the J6 prosecutors?

    Has future president Gavin threatened to prosecute the J6 prosecutor prosecutors yet?

    • creech

      Maybe after he tears down the new White House ballroom?

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