Our final installment of our holiday movie series is upon us. We will resume our regular scheduled programming next week. I will not apologize, but I can only offer my thoughts and prayers.

This is my review of Tombstone Brewing Black Moriah Imperial Stout:

Ah New Years. Why is is so hard to find New Years movies? Is it because its right after Xmas when everyone is done with festive movies? Maybe. This one at least stars the delightful Billy Crystal. Not to be confused with Bill Kristol, who should be be forced to nail his own penis to the floor in between waterboard sessions.

When Harry Met Sally begins at the University of Chicago…wait a minute…this is a Rob Reiner film? Suddenly I’m confused.

Harry (the delightful Billy Crystal) at the beginning of the movie was dating one of Sally’s (a Meg Ryan equally delightful for other reasons in 1988) friends, which leads to them ride sharing to New York after graduation. There was a lot of talking involved as podcasts were not yet invented. One subject of conversation was whether or not men and women can be friends. Harry rejects the notion of friendship between men and women due to the obvious …squishy part …issue. Sally however disagrees. After they arrive in New York Harry makes a pass at Sally, is rejected, and arrested for sexual harassment… Okay fine this was the 80’s, and it was a better time, so they both agree to never see each other again.

Unintentional Copulation – band name or album title?

Amidst dating and breaking up with others, attempting to be friends and failing, they engage in multiple encounters between each other throughout the 80’s. In 1987 they meet by chance at a bookstore, catch up and agree to be friends. After an attempt to set up a double date between each other’s friends, they find their friends were unexpectedly attracted to each other. Later they unintentionally copulate when Harry was called to be a shoulder to cry on after Sally finds out her ex was getting married. Finally on New Year’s Eve, Harry was inspired by America’s favorite Nosferatu, Dick Clark, and runs down Sally at a party. He goes full simp mode. Was it justifiable to go full simp mode for 1988 Meg Ryan? You decide. In the end, Harry and Sally agree they can no longer be friends, as they were married 3 months later. A full 12 years after they first met.

Can this movie be made again? Hell no. Harry would be branded a stalker today, and would likely be in prison. He could otherwise make a decent living recording a weekly free market economics podcast had he decided not to pursue Sally. Besides, if the Whatever Podcast is to be believed Sally’s body count is way too high and men no longer like dating women due to the ongoing culture war.

On the subject of men and women being friends: its complicated. At first glance the answer is plainly no. Men typically don’t pursue women purely for friendships so chances are good initially an ulterior motive was at hand even if there are common interests. The part it gets complicated is why are you only friends? It could be a preexisting attachment, disagreement in fundamental values, being located 1000 miles away, or simple fear keeping one from crossing a line in what is an otherwise valuable friendship. This is ultimately up to both friends to decide. I do want to stress crossing the line does involve some amount of courage as being rejected often means ending everything. Does it need to be so? No. I for one would argue life is too short and it is more valuable in knowing with certainty a friend isn’t a coward. If that’s truly the case, a coward wouldn’t be able to handle rejection—so there’s nothing to lose. As opposed to letting the question linger for years while watching shitty RomComs on New Year’s Eve and putting bets on Polymarket over whether or not Dick Clark will catch fire after chaining him to a post to expose him to the sunrise.

I’ve only ever see him at night, on New Year’s Eve. I have yet to hear a better explanation for Dick Clark other than him being undead.

Let it be known, this is not intended as a pass on Mojeaux, but I did think the name was funny. This beer is indeed an attempt at Russian River’s Old Rasputin. Is it a good attempt at recreating something good? Yes, actually. Would I recommend this over the aforementioned Old Rasputin? No. As it turns out this brewery is in southern AZ and somewhat difficult to find even here in Phoenix so really its easier to just find Old Rasputin. Tombstone Brewing Black Moriah Imperial Stout: 4.0/5