THE RESISTANCE – The Squad: Episode 6

by | Jan 28, 2026 | Sugarverse, THE RESISTANCE | 112 comments

“They sprayed something on me!’ Ilhan said, distressed, changing her hijab.

“What was it?” Sandy asked.

“Does that really matter?” Rashida replied, helping Ilhan adjust her performative headwear.

“I’ve had a lot of stuff sprayed on me, “ Sandy said brightly, “and some of it was delicious.”

“You basic-ass cracker-ass cracker,” Jasmine said. “You might as well be White trash.”

“Some of it smelled pretty bad,” Sandy said, the vacant look of memory on her face. “Like bleach and mushrooms.”

“I ain’t let no man jizz all over me,” Jasmine huffed. “Sticky nasty shit ruin my weave. You know how much dis shit cost?” She fluffed her hair carefully. A thick clump fell to the floor of The Squad’s secret lair, safe from the untamed press faction under a Vietnamese nail salon.

“You don’t have to talk like that in here,” Rashida said.

“I know that,” Jasmine said, code-switching to normal English and then back, “but I gots to keep it real for my peoples.”

“W-w-w-what are we going to do about Minneapolis?” Tim asked from his cage.

“You need to shut up, bitch,” Jasmine growled, “or Ima going to spray nail polish remover in yo eyes again.”

“We have Minneapolis in hand,” Rashida told Tim. “We already have two martyrs, and we’ll have a few more soon enough.”

“I was trying to whip up more of them,” Ilhan said, wiping down her sweater, “and I got sprayed.”

Sandy came over and sniffed her all over, like some disgusting dog. “Well, it isn’t man batter, I know that much.”

Ilhan pushed her away, muttering “dhillo” under her breath.

“The next time someone is going to spray you, I suggest getting them to eat a bunch of pineapple first,” Sandy said. “Makes it all sweet and yummy.”

“I gots plenty of nail polish remover,” Jasmine said. “I spray you too, you stupid bitch.”

“Would you please stop talking like that?” Ilhan asked Jasmine while pushing Sandy away.

“No one tells Sandy to stop talking like an idiot,” Jasmine said.

“You know she can’t help that,” Rashida said.

“More martyrs!” Jasmine said. “Let’s try and stay on topic.”

“We’ll send more of the useful idiots out,” Illhan said. “We’ll tell them about how important it is to try to intervene in an arrest. That will get more of them killed.”

“We need to get a dead Black,” Jasmine said. “That’s how you get a real riot season. Find some crackhead with long arrest record to rob a store while armed. Nothing a White mob loves more than a dead life-long criminal.”

“What about a Mexican?” Sandy asked. “We could get a Mexican shot!”

“That does fit with the theme of the overt action groups,” Rashida said.

“Where are we going to find a Mexican dumb enough to attack an ICE officer?” Ilhan asked. “Only White people think they have that level of privilege.”

“I’ll do it,” Sandy said. “I’m sort of Mexican.”

“No, no, we’ll save you for the midterms, maybe stage an attack in mid-October.” Jasmine said.

“We keep sending the protesters out armed, there will be plenty more killed,” Ilhan said, “and it keeps our hands clean.”

“Clean as a new tampon!” Tim said.

“I will spray you,” Jasmine said, hopping off the barrel of acetone she had been sitting on, advancing on Tim.

“But I am sort of Mexican,” Sandy insisted. “Puerto Rico is right beside Mexico!”

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

112 Comments

  1. Tonio

    “Dhillo” is Somali for “prostitute.”

    • rhywun

      This is what I got when I looked it up:

      “dhillo: a term used by Canadian niggas meaning hoe”

    • ron73440

      I looked it up and it made me laugh.

      I don’t know what’s funnier, that, Tim in a cage, Jasmine’s language changes, or AOC being sort of Mexican..

      Another great one SF.

  2. Drake

    Good luck finding blacks or browns willing to protest when it’s 20 below.

    • (((Jarflax

      Find some Incans!

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Sloopy ones!

  3. Aloysious

    AOC’s face = barf

    IO’s face = barf

    They’re all just barftastic.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    “Where are we going to find a Mexican dumb enough to attack an ICE officer?” Ilhan asked. “Only White people think they have that level of privilege.”

    “The Blessed Virgin says you’re on your own.”

  5. Not Adahn

    “I will spray you,” Jasmine said, hopping off the barrel of acetone she had been sitting on, advancing on Tim.

    I actually went down a bit of a rabbit hole as to what packaging of acetone is available.

      • Not Adahn

        A lot of chems you can get in intermodal-sized packages, and <50L super clean/specialty containers, but nothing in the mid-range. Acetone is not one of them.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’d think there’d be a market opportunity for a chemical supply company to do some repackaging.

        Then I had a think about the regulatory interference.

      • Threedoor

        No quarter drums or full barrels?

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Look how brave she is, standing unflinchingly at the podium. She’s ready to stab him in the eye if he wrestles loose from the security guy.

    • EvilSheldon

      Bravery is rarely distinguishable from bewilderment.

    • Aloysious

      Internet won.

      Shut it down, it’s over.

      She’s still gross.

    • Sensei

      Accurate.

      The original meaning:
      1. splashing on, splashing at

      2. dish made by pouring broth over something (esp. bukkake soba)

      Easy to see how the slang usage came to be in both languages.

  7. juris imprudent

    we’ll save you for the midterms

    That’s deeper thinking than Crockpot is really capable of. Unusual for SF to stretch credibility like that.

    • SugarFree

      She’s not actually stupid; she plays at being a ghetto ratchet to appeal to her voter base of trash people.

      • slumbrew

        Correct, which makes it far, far worse.

      • juris imprudent

        Ah, I misremembered, it was Plaskett, not Crockett that was a fount of stupidity during Taibbi’s testimony.

      • rhywun

        plays at being a ghetto

        Ah, like Hillary.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    “No one tells Sandy to stop talking like an idiot,” Jasmine said.

    “You know she can’t help that,” Rashida said.

    She hangs out with Bernie. What can you expect?

  9. J. Frank Parnell

    “Where are we going to find a Mexican dumb enough to attack an ICE officer?” Ilhan asked. “Only White people think they have that level of privilege.”

    lol

    “I’ll do it,” Sandy said. “I’m sort of Mexican.”

    also lol

  10. Not Adahn

    The current right-side spin is the guy was trying to get back at his ex-wife.

    • EvilSheldon

      Hold on, they’re saying that R. Kelly there was married to Omar? Or that this was some kind of Taxi Driver deal?

      • Not Adahn

        Ex was a politicritter connected to Omar.

    • SugarFree

      The sprayer is a life-long lib with a trans son, the very portrait of MAGA. They are trying the same shit they used on Tyler Robinson, Kirk’s assassin.

      Everyone screams “false flag” about everything, but this is looking like a real one.

      • R.J.

        Interesting. I thought it would end up as some kind of acid attack, and he missed her face. Now it’s prog on prog crime? I guess she is not sufficiently proggy, or something along those lines.

      • EvilSheldon

        Or, and stay with me now, a lifetime lib with a trans kid, deeply immersed in neo-prog politics, likely has other mental problems?

      • UnCivilServant

        More like The DSM is their guide to life.

      • R.J.

        Heh. Absolutely. The real motive is just as likely to be “global warming made me do it” or “The martians told me to stop you and Elon from having a baby.”

      • Nephilium

        I still lean towards it being a (or perhaps THE) lone whacko. I have questions, but the majority of true believers already have their story and won’t change their mind.

      • Not Adahn

        Speaking about the DSM — it’s now going to be a living document so it can be constantly updated to be goodthinkful.

      • Threedoor

        DSM died after III.

      • Swiss Servator

        “I still lean towards it being a (or perhaps THE) lone whacko”

        Did he ask this one question, and video the answer?

      • Suthenboy

        That’s because…..they are.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I just read that it was vinegar, which technically is an acid attack. If his ex was connected to Omar, it’s possible that she knew the guy. Doesn’t mean that it was an inside job. It could just be a reason why she wasn’t concerned about him getting so close.

    • Drake

      That was her brother?

  11. Swiss Servator

    “But I am sort of Mexican,” Sandy insisted. “Puerto Rico is right beside Mexico!”

    Wars have been started for less than this statement.

    • Threedoor

      I like those kinds of wars.
      Goes to the DFAC for popcorn.

      • Swiss Servator

        Sorry, just midnight chow…semi-stale white bread, bologna, generic version of Kraft American slices, mustard and mayo packets + bug juice and small bags of Lays regular chips.

  12. DEG

    untamed press faction under a Vietnamese nail salon.

    Strangely specific.

    • Gender Traitor

      Well, apparently Vietnamese own/run half the nail salons in the US, so not THAT specific.

      • SugarFree

        GT, I swear they think I just make all this up.

      • Sensei

        I knew that. I didn’t realize it was a question!

    • Tonio

      “Cucumber water for customers only.” -Mrs. Nguyen in “Better Call Saul”

  13. EvilSheldon

    “W-w-w-what are we going to do about Minneapolis?” Tim asked from his cage.

    Why is the gimp being allowed to speak? Even if you don’t have him gagged, he should be trained better than that.

    • Not Adahn

      Ther same reason Maggie Gyllenhaal drops a cockroach into the bed.

      • slumbrew

        *gets the reference*

      • EvilSheldon

        LOL!

      • Threedoor

        Ha!

  14. PieInTheSky

    SugarFree will be sent to the gulag with the ICE agents when the revolution comes.

    • PieInTheSky

      how does it compare to a matiz?

    • R.J.

      I got bored. Does it have a solution for the 9mm ammo retaining clip built into the revolver? Or do you still put the 9mm into a half moon clip and insert it?

      • Not Adahn

        They didn’t say.

      • EvilSheldon

        All I have is a bad screen-rip of the owners manual (in Korean), but from the pictures it appears to use full moon clips.

      • R.J.

        That would the the most interesting part to me. Also why 9MM? 38 is just as big and useful for non-lethal rounds, and it has a lip that retains it in the cylinder. Half moon clips are a PIA. Ah well.

      • EvilSheldon

        Hell, I find most of the design decisions from American gun makers to be baffling. Korean gun design choices may as well be a product of eldritch horrors.

        Although I did take a pre-’89 Daewoo K2 to a shooting class, many years ago. That was a damn good rifle. Reliable, ergonomic, and reasonably accurate.

      • Sensei

        RJ – I know nothing about Korean law, but I assume like most of Asia heavy restrictions on private ownership.

        My assumption is 9mm is much easier for them to stockpile than something “rare” like 38spl.

    • PieInTheSky

      I always take an aisle seat so my options are limited. Unless the front row has extra leg room.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t recognize some of the pictures – I am terrible with faces.

      But why does “Stalin Freaking at Clouds” get two seats?

    • Ted S.

      I sit next to someone whose language I don’t speak so I don’t have to engage in conversation.

    • R.J.

      Boy that is a shit ton of butter.

      • Sean

        Paula Deen approved.

  15. slumbrew

    Hey party people!

    If any Monocle users are interested, I had a little time and am working on a new branch:

    https://gitlab.com/glibertarians/forumProject/-/blob/Eyepiece_v4/monocle.user.js

    It changes the (non-functional) ‘dynamic comment refresh’ to just check whether there are new comments via an API call and displays a count of new, server-side comments below the current ‘unread’ number:

    https://ibb.co/WWdnnkMv

    This, selfishly, fits my desired workflow better, since I didn’t like new comments automatically showing up while I was still working through unread ones.

    If anyone gives it a whirl, let me know what you think – it currently checks every 10s (since the HEAD call is pretty lightweight) but I’m going to implement a exponential backoff (check every 10s, if no new ones after X cycles, move to every 20s, then every 40s, etc. up to some maximum) – that should keep it responsive during the busy hours while lessening the server load if a browser is just left open after hours.

    I’ll also get the nuke/mute links moved over so the Reply button isn’t covering them anymore.

    Just tested on Chromium (Helium) browser on a Mac w/ ViolentMonkey – I’ll be testing on my iPad & Android as well. I’ll publish a table of tested configs afterward along with installation pointers.

    Any questions, let me know and/or ping me at my handle at proton.

    • slumbrew

      Oh, forgot to mention – it’ll display server-side comment count but you still need to manually refresh, like some sort of peasant.

      • rhywun

        Manually refresh is MY workflow so I’ll stick with what you so kindly provided before + some customizations of my own. 👍

      • slumbrew

        No worries, whatever works for people.

        This was something that’s been rolling around in my head for a while and I had some time (wife’s on a business trip & I’m snowed in. Plus Dry January…).

    • Sensei

      Sweet! If I get time this weekend I’ll see how it works on the iPad.

    • PieInTheSky

      TAKING A SCREENSHOT OF MY COMMENT IS A GDPR VIOLATION AND THE EU WILL HEAR OF THIS

      • slumbrew

        If it makes you feel better, that pic will expire in 24 hours or so.

    • Threedoor

      I just refresh all the time.

      Me smash keyboard like Steve Smith.

      • R.J.

        Me as well.

    • Tonio

      Thanks, Slumbrew! That’s awesome. We’ll put a link on our site once it’s done.

  16. Threedoor

    “Puerto Rico is right beside Mexico!”

    Thems fightn wurds to both groups.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Yeah, but what are Benedictines and Franciscans?

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah but those friars aren’t near as touchy as the Jesuits.

    • ron73440

      You want it to be a muscular blond with no shirt?

      • The Other Kevin

        He’s got a much better back story than “theft” and “domestic abuse”.

      • ron73440

        He’s got a much better back story than “theft” and “domestic abuse”.

        That he does.

        I love that movie.

        “I know a little German.”

  17. UnCivilServant

    I hate it when I have a very clear mental image of something (in this particular case, a hat) and I can’t find the words to clearly and succinctly articulate its appearance to the reader.

  18. Fourscore

    A few days ago Jimbo mentioned that downtown Mpls resembled the small towns of the Iron Ranges.

    Maybe the reason Texas looks so attractive.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrL9vFaWBzI

    Many years ago, 35-40, I visited the Minnetonka Cargill offices. I bought a ton of books after they’d had book sale that didn’t make a buyer’s cut.

    • Drake

      General trend of businesses fleeing blue states. They can’t build factories and homes for the workers fast enough here in SC.

      Probably more to do with regulations and energy than taxes.

  19. Sensei

    If your new tech job gives you a :

    Dell laptop: You have 3 warnings before you get fired.

    MacBook : Your job is safe if the next funding round comes in.

    Lenovo Thinkpad : You’re probably going to spend 28 years there.

    https://x.com/shubhvanii/status/2016341713917554974?s=20

    This might be accurate. I’ve had 3 Thinkpads from work, but we’ve now switched to HP and had 2. I’m not sure how to interpret that.

    • trshmnstr

      I think HP means you’re not going to be productive because youre going to spend all your time chatting with an indian call center to get it up and running again.

      Im on my 5th HP over 9 years. This last one seems to have bucked the trend and actually works.

    • kinnath

      Just over 3 years since my laptop was refreshed. I doubt it will get refreshed any time soon. Megacorp replaced HPs with Dell back in the 90s.

    • slumbrew

      We remain outliers; twice as many Macs as Dells; more Linux desktops/laptops than Windows at this point.

      • Sensei

        Hope the next funding round goes well!

      • slumbrew

        Our Series C round was in 2000. We’ve been doing OK since then.

    • R.J.

      I hope to see that next to a steak soon in your summer pictures.

      • Sean

        🙂

    • EvilSheldon

      Shouldn’t you have a rusty stockless AK and a machete, then?

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, video description text (who reads that) says .380

      • R.J.

        Yeah. Seems like a day of odd caliber choices for guns.

Submit a Comment