The Hat and The Hair Animated: Rerun Ep 91

by | Apr 8, 2026 | Hat and Hair | 70 comments

They want to keep the Guard in DC for years. What the fuck is this dipshit doing? Does Lindsey Graham have the missing pages that proves Donald was giving Epstein orders?

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CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

70 Comments

  1. DEG

    Did I hear Aachen in there?

    • rhywun

      I was going to say the same thing. It’s one of the oldest Roman towns in Deutschland IIRC.

      • DEG

        I think Cologne is older.

        I took a guided tour of Aachen Cathedral back in the pre-Rona Panic Days. It’s a really interesting cathedral. It looks like they still have the guided tours.

      • rhywun

        I remember climbing up a spire in the Köln cathedral, and touring some Roman ruins. Pretty cool town overall.

      • rhywun

        Nice – but no, never visited Aachen.

      • DEG

        I remember climbing up a spire in the Köln cathedral

        I did that too. Lots of tourists so the stairs were busy.

        The views weren’t bad. It was cloudy but the clouds were high so you could see pretty far.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I visited the Koln cathedral as an 11yo boy. Loved it, and the living history town in the Black Forest.

        Man I was a dorky kid.

    • Evan from Evansville

      I was gonna say I’ve taken a shit in Aachen, but I was thinking of Strasbourg. (The French side.)

      • Evan from Evansville

        Never have been, though I wash somewhat thoroughly.

        (I find it a fun tradition to further.)

  2. rhywun

    What the fuck is this dipshit doing?

    As interestingly, is it working?

    • rhywun

      Defense attorney Lindsay Thompson told jurors Horner had suffered from brain damage, autism, mental illness and extreme lead exposure, and argued those conditions should be considered as mitigating evidence when the jury decides whether he poses a continuing threat to society.

      I don’t really care about any of that – stick him in prison, a hospital, or an electric chair. As long as he has no interaction with the public ever again in his life. Anyone who does that for any reason is obviously a threat to society.

      • Fourscore

        There’s one way to insure he does not pose a continuing threat to society.

        Fedex drivers can’t be that scarce.

      • rhywun

        Well, only one absolutely certain way.

        I’m still moderately against capital punishment but it’s not easy to maintain that belief.

      • Grumbletarian

        I have no problem with capital punishment when there is overwhelming evidence that the accused is in fact guilty of a crime worthy of that sentence. Such as in this case. If you’re so brain damaged that you don’t realize raping and killing a 7-year-old is unacceptable then that’s almost reason enough to end you anyhow, and more than enough reason to permanently isolate you from the rest of the world’s population.

      • Threedoor

        I care about it.

        As it’s all lies.

      • Threedoor

        My wife was looking at the registered sex offenders in our county the other day.

        Asked me where she recognized one of them.

        He was the FedEx driver that she felt was casing our place. He works at Walmart now.

      • Evan from Evansville

        re capital punishment: I’m in the camp of ‘There are people who deserve to die, but I don’t trust the state to properly administer the death penalty.’

        Was thinking about how Islam ‘commands’ its followers to take over the world, no excuses. ‘Best’ Machiavellian way to weed that out is to kill ’em all, no trial. But if you leave any survivors, well, they’re even more hell-bent on their mission, with some serious revenge issues to sort.

        There isn’t a way to ‘solve’ that issue in the real world, rather than the models and philosophical make-believe people use when talking about it. I remain ignorant about the power of Belief, cuz it ain’t ever touched me.

      • Raven Nation

        “But suppose…he was so crazy that he had never been aware that he was doing anything wrong?…I could see two possibilities. Either he couldn’t be made well-in which case he was better dead for his own sake and the safety of others-or he could be treated and made sane. In which case (it seemed to me) if he ever became sane enough for civilized society and thought over what he had done while he was “sick” – what could be left but suicide? How could be live with himself?”

        That said, for the truly criminally insane, lock up, permanently.

      • Threedoor

        Evan, Europe went through a major culling, centuries of capital punishment for all kinds of stuff. It made the euros more civilized as it was evolutionary. The rest of the world is a thousand years behind the euros in that culling, and it shows. You have to keep killing them until they stop fighting, no different than in a real war.

      • creech

        3door’s “culling” observation might help explain the current downturn in homicides in our cities. All those so inclined to kill each other have been whittled down by culling each other. As the attrition of lowlife scum has proceeded, the natural result will be fewer and fewer homicides.

      • rhywun

        Hm, interesting theory. It’s not like a lot of the other excuses I’ve heard have lessened – fatherless sons, drug gangs especially. Supposedly the “crack epidemic” has passed but can that really explain the something like 90% decrease in murders from the bad old days of the 80’s/90s?

      • Threedoor

        Creech, it’s not an original idea. I got
        It from a paper that compared recorded executions over historical time periods VS geographical locations and modern day murder rates. The visual overlayed on a map of Europe, including the balkans and Russia is pretty wild and compelling. Expanding ot worldwide is troublesome because recorded executions fall of
        Fire to record keeping and or not having a writen language in many areas but it made sense to me.

      • Evan from Evansville

        “Fatherless sons” is the most obvious missing bit in black crime rates, coupled with the continuation of the WoD.

        Interesting to bring up the Euro culling, for whatever in particular that means, as Euros have gone soft, creating and feeding their new “migrant, refugee” crisis, one sadly ripe for a bit of a big boom-boom. (I can easily see both sides sparking it.)

        Other than wars and violent revolutions, I’m unaware of other “cullings” in ‘recent’ European history.

      • Threedoor

        Throw in the last two major wars in Europe and look at how pacified the Germans are, and the Japanese after WWII. They are a whimper of their former selves, and have very low native murder rates.

      • Raven Nation

        Duh. They have low murder rates because of gun control obviously.

      • Threedoor

        I think the idea also largely explains US murder rates VS Canada.

        Canadians are seen as being more agreeable than Americans, it’s not just anacdotal, their murder rates are lower. A large portion of the Canadian population finds its roots in American tories that moved north to align with the crown.

        Those that came to the new world were bound to be rebels, then we split between loyalists and rebels again. As those populations moved west the more civilized stayed while the more rebellious and risk taking people moved west. Costal living is easier and requires less risk taking on top of the westward evolutionary drift.

        Looking back at Canada you have another evolutionary pressure that makes collectivism and agreeableness beneficial, long harsh winters require more cooperation and reward nonviolent behavior for lineage survival.

        I could be full of it of course. To deny that our genes largely drive our behavior is a dangerous idea. I believe it is even more so the case for people who are of lower IQ, they act and react rather than plan for the future. Throw in cultures that have a thousand years of first cousin marriage and you simply can not allow those savages into your lands.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I’ve also heard the switch to unleaded gas is a big factor in lower crime rates, that the lead exposure caused neurological issues.

        I’m glad I grew up on the outskirts of the good part of Eville, not in, say, South Chicago in the late 70s.

      • Evan from Evansville

        The cooperative survival of the cold is a good reason to explain much of Canadian history, though I’m wary of tracing generations+ to political, Tory v rebels facet.

        Just thinking aloud, I think I prefer the long-game conquer strategy of the Chinese v the destroy-now tactics of the Middle East. Queers for Palestine is a fabulous encapsulation of the historical, political and cultural idiocy govt schools successfully project.

      • Threedoor

        Leaded gas dosent get the attention it deserves, be it neurological issues in humans or thin egg shells in birds. Paint chips get blamed where they, fishing weights and ammo are innocent.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Somehow not able to take responsibility for his actions but was able to get hired and retain employment as a FedEx driver. Sure, Jan.

      • Plinker762

        Hired by some sleezy Fedex contracted service provider?

      • Gustave Lytton

        And yet wasn’t canned for not making his numbers. The contractors burn through drivers but not him.

      • rhywun

        contracted service provider

        A loophole NYC will use to destroy Amazon deliveries because living wage! Or some shit.

      • R C Dean

        Since those are all permanent conditions, I’m not sure how they “mitigate” a “continuing threat”.

    • slumbrew

      https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166046222000667

      Abstract

      Does lead pollution increase crime? We perform the first meta-analysis of the effect of lead on crime, pooling 542 estimates from 24 studies. The effect of lead is overstated in the literature due to publication bias. Our main estimates of the mean effect sizes are a partial correlation of 0.16, and an elasticity of 0.09. Our estimates suggest the abatement of lead pollution may be responsible for 7–28% of the fall in homicide in the US. Given the historically higher urban lead levels, reduced lead pollution accounted for 6–20% of the convergence in US urban and rural crime rates. Lead increases crime, but does not explain the majority of the fall in crime observed in some countries in the 20th century. Additional explanations are needed.

      Those are some seriously broad ranges. Who knows?

      • rhywun

        “Historically higher urban lead levels” sounds like magical hand-waving away of lots of other “historically higher urban” stuff.

        I’m not motivated enough to research this but curious enough to call BS when I hear it.

  3. Evan from Evansville

    I wanna see the hats for all the failed empires. And the ones that did well, those winners have a fun place in hell to ridicule the losers.

    I’d like to be an imperial jockstrap. Vital, keeping everything secure, but not really getting in the way of much else.

  4. Plinker762

    The French Canadians I grew up around were tough as nails and ready to fight. IMHO the real differences between the US and Canada really started to show after the 60s, I guess. During the world wars and Korea, the Canadians and ANZAC were not someone you would really want to fight. Maybe being in a Commonwealth with a dying empire and being protected from the big Red Bear by the US didn’t help.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The leftism of post war Europe (and UK and commonwealth) continued pretty much unabated. There was no real conservative movement like in the US. The “conservatives” were left of center. Substituting monarchy for government worship.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Er, substituting government worship for monarchy.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and Ted’S., and good afternoon, Pie!

      • Gender Traitor

        Uh oh! But you’re remote today, right?

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes, it’s a remote day, so I’m connected on time.

      • Gender Traitor

        😅

        Did you at least sleep well (and long enough?)

      • Gender Traitor

        😞

      • Gender Traitor

        Pretty good. The only big thing I should work on is the minutes of a quarterly meeting that happened back in February. I tend to drag my feet on this one because it’s even more tedious than the monthly Board meetings.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m sorry to hear that.

        Tedium is always so boring.

      • Ted S.

        Isn’t that the definition of tedium?

      • Not Adahn

        Your pedantry is tedious!

      • UnCivilServant

        @Ted – *monotone* That’s the joke */monotone*

      • Ted S.

        This would be the first time UCS had a sense of humor…. :-p

  5. Grumbletarian

    Good morning, Glib Nation.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Grumble!

  6. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey!

  7. Not Adahn

    Good morning!

    I was thinking about a Sugarverse wiki. Here’s how I think it’d go:

    -long stretches of nonactivity
    -Someone writes a 50 word stub
    -Talk page generates 50k words over six weeks as people dispute the accuracy of hte stub.

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