222 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    Is NATO completely useless?

    • Rat on a train

      The Euros get a bargain out of it.

      • Common Tater

        I supposed to believe England can’t raise a navy, and the Germans can’t build tanks?

      • Rat on a train

        It’s not a question of can they. They get to spend money on other things because the US protects them.

      • (((Jarflax

        Neither one can heat their houses at this point, where are they going to get the energy to make stuff out of steel?

      • Not Adahn

        Wind and solar, duh!

      • UnCivilServant

        Under EU regulations, the production of Naval Assets has been assigned to underserved communities in Rural Slovakia.

        All Tanks are required to be 100% Electric, and the roof-mounted windmills are on backorder.

        as for the UK, They’re too busy debating how much of a side-eye constitutes blasphemy against foreigners.

      • Aloysious

        That nuclear umbrella covers an awful lot. Without it, those countries wouldn’t have as much money to go after wrongthink.

    • (((Jarflax

      Many Japanese people like i… Oh one t, nope, useless as teats on a boar hog.

    • Drake

      It’s a defensive alliance against the Soviet Union (not offensive alliance against Middle Eastern counties). So it has been worse than useless for 35 years.

      • WTF

        When the Soviet Union collapsed, NATO should have been disbanded. Instead our wise leaders decided to expand it as a welfare program for the Euros, where we get nothing in return.

    • Threedoor

      Yes.
      Has been since the fall of the Soviet Union at which point it should have been disbanded.

  2. Common Tater

    “Trump To Crack Down On Mail-In Voting With New Executive Order”

    OK, but there needs to be actual legislation, not an EO easily reversed.

    • Ted S.

      SRF in Switzerland reported this using the “without evidence” formulation….

    • R C Dean

      Unfortunately, his EO isn’t “Mail-In voting is inherently insecure and contrary to the Constitutional requirement that there be a single Election Day”. It’s more “Here’s how to do it right”.

      • WTF

        The constitution? It was written like 100 years ago by white slave-owners, so it doesn’t count!

      • rhywun

        It’s more “Here’s how to do it right”.

        Ew.

        Well, I don’t know the details but there have always been allowances for military personnel and other outside the country on election day. If we could go back to what was normal before the left took advantage of the plandemic to impose it everywhere, it would be a win.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        People love mail in voting. Getting rid of it, which would be great for secure elections, would be a lose for the R’s.

        And, yes, I know people want voter ID, but they also want to mail it in.

      • (((Jarflax

        Getting rid of it, which would be great for secure elections, would be a lose for the R’s.

        Losing the too lazy to go to the polls vote only matters if they can vote without going to the polls.

      • Threedoor

        If you are too lazy to show up on Election Day or too lazy to jump through the hoops to get an actual absentee ballot you shouldn’t be voting. At all. Ever.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Amen. Same with voter registration. Repeal motor voter crap.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I have a feeling SCOTUS will shoot that down even faster than they will shoot down Donald’s attempt to end birth tourism.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m sure congress will get right on it.

  3. Common Tater

    “Trump Unveils First Glimpse of Planned Presidential Library”

    With blackack and hookers?

      • Ted S.

        He owned a casino, didn’t he?

      • UnCivilServant

        Owning a Casino isn’t gambling.

      • slumbrew

        Owning the casino is the opposite of gambling.

      • Drake

        He’s a New York real estate developer.

      • DrOtto

        UCS gets it.

    • Rat on a train

      “It looks so unpresidential unlike Obama’s library.”

      • WTF

        I’m not sure even the partisan media would go so far as to cite the Obama abortion as “presidential”.

    • Drake

      Will it have a good sci-fi section? My local library in mediocre .

      • Fourscore

        A lot of fiction, not much science

      • Threedoor

        It’ll have the trump shot.

        Science TM.

  4. Shpip

    One year after President Donald Trump set out to make Washington, D.C., safe again, his initiative has cleaned out 142 homeless encampments throughout the nation’s capital, according to internal data exclusively obtained by the Daily Caller.

    Turns out, even crazy drug-addled bums respond to incentives.

    • rhywun

      I wonder where they went.

      • Threedoor

        Back to NYC?

  5. (((Jarflax

    I am choosing to believe that most of these are April Fools jokes. That way I can enjoy a less stressful morning. Mornin’ Banjos.

    • Rat on a train

      Corporate has a weird fiscal year that begins on 1 September.

  6. Not Adahn

    Be sure to eat your April fish today!

  7. WTF

    Federal judge puts stop to White House ballroom construction until congressional approval

    The article fails to cite any statute that requires the president to get congressional approval for the construction. So either the judge did cite something and the article is shit, or there is actually nothing to cite and the judge is full of shit. Would be nice to know which it is.

      • (((Jarflax

        Don’t be so hasty UCS. This is obviously a trick question as it sets up a false dichotomy between a journalist lying and a lefty judge being full of shit. I am going with both!

      • WTF

        Of course the original construction of the east wing and its later 1942 expansion were authorized by the president, not congress, so the judge doesn’t even have precedent on his side.

      • WTF

        The 2A is different from other rights, because reasons!!

    • The Last American Hero

      I’m going with “judges that pull shit like this need to be removed from the bench”.

      • UnCivilServant

        Preferrably by being lassoed and dragged out and through the street to the edge of town where they are chucked in a drainage ditch to wander in exile.

      • Threedoor

        Tarred and feathered.

  8. Ted S.

    U.S astronauts set to embark on historic return to lunar orbit in Artemis II mission

    The report on NHK made certain to point out it ticks off the right demographic check boxes.

    • WTF

      Of course they won’t land on the moon because NASA’s boondoggle doesn’t have the capability.

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, Apollo 8 IIRC only orbited the moon.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m going to defend the flyby plan, because you want to make sure the basic elements of the system work as intended before adding another layer of complexity (the landing and recovery). We exhausted our supply of Nazi scientists and have to make do with whoever survived the assault of diversity hires.

      • WTF

        Except landing and recovery was already done with technology half a century old.

      • UnCivilServant

        So was orbit, docking and recovery of a capsule, but Boeing still fucked it up.

      • (((Jarflax

        Those Nazi scientists were completely devoid of non-binary indigenous lived experiences and relied solely on the rigid oppressive White Supremacist mathematical and physical law based understanding of nature. The modern team is vastly superior.

      • WTF

        So was orbit, docking and recovery of a capsule, but Boeing still fucked it up.

        That’s pretty much my point. Hence, “boondoggle”.

      • UnCivilServant

        I do not think that was your point. Or you didn’t particularly articulate what you intended to mean.

      • WTF

        I think it’s pretty clear that I was commenting on their inability to achieve something that was already done with 50-year-old technology.

      • UnCivilServant

        Not in the “boondoggle” comment.

        Following the Apollo blueprint of “flyby to make sure the launch and transfer systems work first, then add the lander” is the prudent one if you want to reduce the risks.

      • WTF

        “Boondoggle” in that they have pissed away billions while failing so far to achieve what was done with technology half a century old. I don’t understand why you don’t get it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Overuse of the term, diluting it to mean “any spending I disagree with”

      • WTF

        Jesus, I forgot I was dealing with a group of pedantic autists.

      • (((Jarflax

        To be fair, it would be very hard to actually overuse the term boondoggle when talking about Federal Spending, you can properly use it several times on most of the several thousand pages of the budget (assuming there is ever an actual budget again)

      • Aloysious

        Sir, as an autistic pedant, I’m very offended, if not the literal victim of assault by microaggression, of being deadnamed as a pedantic autist.

        I shall now retreat to my fainting couch.

    • rhywun

      Yup, one of them was just telling me on the news that “young brown boys” now have someone to look up to. Finally!

      • rhywun

        To be fair, it was the brown one telling us this. And therefore by definition not racist.

        Or something.

    • Threedoor

      When the diversity hire Teacher In Space died I was sad because I was a kid.

      Later when I realized how stupid it was I was OK with them not losing someone capable.

  9. Common Tater

    “In his memorandum opinion, Judge Richard Leon wrote, “The President of the United States is the steward of the White House for future generations of First Families. He is not, however, the owner!” ….

    He wrote in his conclusion, “Where does this leave us? Unfortunately for Defendants, unless and until Congress blesses this project through statutory authorization, construction has to stop! ….

    And the American people will benefit from the branches of Government exercising their constitutionally prescribed roles. Not a bad outcome, that!”

    Exclamation points are an indication of idiocy.

    • UnCivilServant

      So, no legal basis for that decision.

      “You can’t remodel an executive branch building without zoning approval!”

      If there’s no law already regulating it, and no budgetary impact, congress still has no role in approving it, and the judiciary even less.

      • WTF

        The judiciary has gone quite extreme in usurping executive branch powers.

      • trshmnstr

        This is going to be the issue where Trump says “you and what army” isnt it? 🙄

      • Common Tater

        Worse, he already did the demolition.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yes! They are!!

  10. Common Tater

    “One man in Houston turned a miserable four-hour TSA wait recently into an impromptu party by handing out free vodka shots to adults in line.

    The video shows the traveler walking through the massive crowd at George Bush Intercontinental Airport with a large frosted bottle and a stack of plastic cups.

    He began pouring shots for frustrated travelers who were stuck in a line that stretched far outside the terminal doors.”

    https://nypost.com/2026/03/31/lifestyle/traveler-hands-out-vodka-shots-in-massive-tsa-line-amid-us-airport-lines-and-delays/

    • slumbrew

      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

    • UnCivilServant

      😕

      Given the number of “Drunk Passenger” incidents that disrupt operations, I don’t think this was a good news story, just the opening salvo of a travel nightmare.

      • slumbrew

        The big reveal will be that everyone who took shots was flying on Spirit.

      • EvilSheldon

        I would submit that the four-hour wait to be sexually abused by a bunch of TSA pizza box hires was in fact, the opening salvo of the travel nightmare.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sheldon, what are you doing that gets you chosen for intensive screening?

      • EvilSheldon

        Just lucky, I suppose.

        But I think that my point stands.

      • Ted S.

        Existing.

      • dbleagle

        For me it was getting two after-market hips. The TSA’s nudie machine can’t determine that the metal and ceramic is actually inside of me, so I get the extra gropes every time I fly.

        The failed Burger King employees always ask if I want privacy and I always tell them no. If you are going to do this worthless feeling me up, I want the entire airport to see you do it.

      • Threedoor

        My wife got a couple of those.

        Blond, female, perky, green eyed middle eastern terrorist obviously.

    • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

      My sister just flew in from Texas. Passing through TSA at DFW took about two minutes according to her. So the above is a ‘too local’ story.

  11. Common Tater

    “A Wisconsin special education teacher has allegedly confessed to sexually abusing two minor students, both at her home and in the classroom….

    The teacher, suspended without pay, told authorities during an interrogation interview that she had sex with the two students because she thought the feeling was “mutual,” the New York Post reported. Additionally, Horn claimed that she did “everything sexual you can do with a person,” while describing the sexual intercourse she had with the minors.”

    https://thepostmillennial.com/wisconsin-special-ed-teacher-arrested-for-sexual-abuse-of-2-teen-students

    So a retarded kid fucked her in the ass?

    • Not Adahn

      Eh. 16 year old me would have gladly banged a 22 year old.

      • Not Adahn

        Wait, how do you even get to be a special ed teacher at 22? Don’t they need to be super-special credentialled? You’d expect at BA in ed at 21 or 22. Not M.Ed. + teaching cert or whatever.

      • (((Jarflax

        I’d wager that a person of average intelligence could learn all the actual content of a Special Ed degree in under 6 months.

      • Gdragon

        Friend of my ex-wife started that teaching gig pretty early, she was probably the same age or a year older.

      • Threedoor

        After going through an elementary Ed program and 13 years of government school I’m convinced that you should not be allowed to become a teacher until you have already had a successful career. Teaching should be a fallback for when you have aged out.

    • Gdragon

      The ol’ “I didn’t get those special needs students of mine TOO drunk and they definitely wanted it, but I shouldn’t have done it” defense. I don’t think that will go over too well.

    • Gdragon

      “So a retarded kid fucked her in the ass?”

      Two of them, it would seem.

      And now the worst joke. Yes I am going to hell. My brain just does this stuff.

      She says that they were down to fuck but they were too Down to fuck…

      • Aloysious

        I laughed.

        Hell, handbasket, etc.

      • Not Adahn

        Puberty hits Downs kids just as hard as normies.

      • Threedoor

        We make for gentle lovers.

  12. Common Tater

    “The Antifa anarchist who sparked an international trend for protesting in a frog costume has been ordered by a county judge to stay away from the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility in Portland, Oregon.

    Seth David Gilbert Todd, 24, of Clackamas County, was sentenced on Monday to three months of probation after pleading no contest to second-degree attempted disorderly conduct. The conviction stems from a January 8 protest-related arrest. Todd was apprehended by Portland Police for repeatedly ignoring lawful orders outside the ICE facility on Macadam Avenue, court documents state”

    https://thepostmillennial.com/antifa-member-who-started-inflatable-frog-movement-banned-from-protesting-at-ice-facility-after-protest-conviction

    second-degree attempted disorderly conduct?

    • Rat on a train

      Did they hit him with an attempted resisting arrest charge?

    • juris imprudent

      The charge was the punishment. Son, you’re so incompetent you can’t even conduct yourself in a disorderly manner.

    • Furthest Blue pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Seth David Gilbert Todd

      Never trust a man with 4 first names.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      If he goes back to the facility, he’s gonna get toad?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Circuit courts’ jurisdictions are county lines and the buildings themselves are county courthouses, however the judges are not county judges. They’re part of the state judicial branch.

      • UnCivilServant

        Numerically, they have a decent amount – but given the cultural issues with Arab militaries, I’m not convinced they’d be much of a help.

  13. Common Tater

    “The father of three reportedly showered more than $25,000 over uber-busty gals in the so-called ‘bimbofication’ online fetish scene….

    Bryon, 56, appears to be obsessed with women sporting jugs topping 3000 cubic centimeters — for reference that’s more than 6.5 times bigger than Kylie Jenner’s breast implants (only 445cc).”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15696023/kristi-noem-husband-bryon-crossdressing-breasts-fetish-KENNEDY.html

    https://archive.is/kRmzf

    How many Sweeney’s is that?

    • EvilSheldon

      Hey, come on. Some of us are at work, and can’t ask ChatGPT, “How big are Sidney Sweeny’s boobies?”

      • UnCivilServant

        “According to some users on X – not that big”

      • (((Jarflax

        With apologies to Q, in this area focusing on size rather than shapeliness is the mark of an uncultured person.

      • R.J.

        I’ll take one for the team. But I am using Brave’s LEO, not ChatGPT:

        Sydney Sweeney’s breast size is a subject of widespread speculation, with estimates generally ranging from 32D to 34D (or sometimes 34DD), though she has never publicly confirmed her exact measurements. While some sources and online profiles list her measurements as 35-24-33 inches with a 34D cup size, others argue that her breasts are considered average or smaller than the often-cited 34DD average for American women, noting that her slim frame and styling choices make them appear larger.
        Recent reports from her training for a boxing biopic indicate that her breast size fluctuates with her weight; she stated that after gaining over 30 pounds for the role of Christy Martin, her “boobs got bigger” along with her overall body size. Despite rumors, Sweeney has maintained that her breasts are natural, having considered breast reduction as a teenager but ultimately keeping them.
        Key details regarding her physique include:
        Estimated Measurements: Often cited as 35-24-33 inches (89-61-84 cm), though some sources estimate a bust of 33-34 inches.
        Reported Bra Sizes: Estimates vary between 32D, 32DD, and 34D, with some online experts suggesting a 34DD.
        Natural Status: She has confirmed her breasts are natural and not augmented by implants.
        Body Transformation: Her size changed noticeably after a 3.5-month training regimen for a biopic, where she increased from a jeans size 23 to 27.

      • (((Jarflax

        the often-cited 34DD average for American women

        The breasts that make that the average size are not the double Ds you want to see.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I am sure it is a big, round number that is divisible by two.

    • Aloysious

      shades of Kayla Lemieux. These dudes might have a problem.

  14. Common Tater

    “A white OnlyFans model and ringside boxing reporter is being accused of superimposing her face on a black influencer’s body in a bizarre controversy that unfolded on social media this week.

    In September of 2024, glamorous influencer Tatiana Elizabeth pictured herself at the US Open tennis tournament in New York, only to see that same photo resurface on Instagram.

    ‘So, this photo to the right is a photo of me at the US Open in 2024,’ Elizabeth, who is African American, said in a self-shot social media video. ‘This photo to the left is a photo that I came across this morning of Instagram of someone who castrated me and decided to use my image and my environment.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/tennis/article-15694725/Glamorous-white-influencer-quietly-deletes-post-fans-spot-used-AI-swap-face-photo-black-womans-body.html

    castrated?

    • EvilSheldon

      castrated?

      It’s influencer-speak for, “…hurt my feelings.”

    • Rat on a train

      a self outing?

    • rhywun

      Today in I hate everyone in this story….

  15. rhywun

    banning conversion therapy for LGBT minors

    I get why the left deliberately conflates “gender expression” with “sexual orientation” but the not-left should not fall for that trap.

    Good on SCOTUS for stumbling across the proper response here but tread carefully.

  16. DrOtto

    Everytime Trump says the war is going to end in “2 weeks” I hear it in Philip Bosco’s voice from his character Curly in “The Money Pit”. It would be even funnier if the press corps waited that 1 to 2 seconds and then burst into laughter when he said it.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t think I ever saw that one.

      I do think of the malfunctioning disguise in “Total Recall”

      “… Two Weeks…”

      • The Last American Hero

        It was a fine comedy movie. I’m surprised they haven’t rebooted it given the 24 different home remodeling channels they have on tv.

    • Sensei

      It’s like when Musk says “full self driving” is coming in 2 years.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fully self-driving fusion reactors!

      • Raven Nation

        That’s sarc, right?

      • Raven Nation

        Oops, that was directed to LAH about Total Recall.

    • Rat on a train

      two weeks to flatten the country?

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Two weeks to flatten the economy.

    • Drake

      Aren’t the Iranians “two weeks” away from a nuke like they have been for 30 years?

      • juris imprudent

        Even after the obliteration of last June!

      • Raven Nation

        I was listening to Scott Horton on this yesterday. He claimed he has sources that suggested there was a near obliteration of the sites in June. His point was, if that’s true, then this attack is even less justified.

      • UnCivilServant

        Has anyone said what their sources were?

        On every assessment, it’s always just “sources” who or what is the source?

      • PutridMeat

        listening to Scott Horton on this yesterday. He claimed he has sources that suggested there was a near obliteration of the sites in June.

        Trying to follow Horton’s argument. I’m about 90% positive that he was quite adamant 9 months ago that Iran had no nuclear weapons program, all the nuclear material was being shipped to France for enrichment and incorporation into fuel rods and returned for peaceful energy generation. So the justification for strikes then from Israel and US was propaganda deployed to attack Iran who was not trying to develop nuclear weapons.

        If he was correct then, and I’m perfectly willing to entertain that possibility, what sites are his ‘sources’ referring to?

        Or was he incorrect then, Iran was/is trying to develop nuclear weapons capabilities, but that capability was destroyed then – when he was claiming it didn’t exits – but since it was destroyed/obliterated then, the current action is unjustified?

        I could see saying – “EVEN IF! I was wrong then – I wasn’t – we claimed the sites and program were destroyed then, so we’re lying then or now”, a sort of devils advocate. But “his sources claimed a complete obliteration of sites” implying they were real and he’s acknowledging that he was incorrect 9 months ago about the existence of an Iranian nuclear weapons program then.

      • Not Adahn

        So people who are claiming “more unjustified” are smuggling in some of their justification criteria, whether it’s because they haven’t figured out what they actually are or because they’re ashamed of them I don’t know.

        There’s not really much difference between “working on a nuke program” and “reconstructing a nuke program back to the previous point we were working on it.”

      • Threedoor

        The hardcore doves are as bad as the hawks. If not worse.

      • R.J.

        So they were fashionable with the Obama / Hollywood crowd. No wonder I never heard of it.

      • Sensei

        RJ – they became popular here in NYC during the COVID and (dressy) jeans are OK at the office times.

        There are plenty of other “dress style” sneakers available now.

      • Threedoor

        Pound be too.

      • Sensei

        Not anymore.

      • kinnath

        there it is

      • Ted S.

        You’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first. :-p

      • kinnath

        Nope. Just admiring the handiwork.

    • rhywun

      The premise that consumers would pay a premium for sustainably made products turned out to be flawed.

      lol No kidding.

      • (((Jarflax

        The definition of ‘sustainable’ is the problem. In the ordinary meaning of the word sustainable production methods are not the more expensive ones.

    • EvilSheldon

      I actually like merino wool workout and outdoors gear. But it’s pretty clear that Allbirds was making and selling crap products to the trendy and easily led.

      • Sensei

        Ignoring the marketing fluff and greenification – their basic sneaker is fine. You can get wool variant or lighter weight mesh synthetic on “light duty” sneaker that is perfect for office and walking to and from the office. You aren’t going to work out in them.

        The advantage is that it doesn’t look like some ridiculous sneaker with radical colors and bizarre shaped soles. Also no overt branding.

      • EvilSheldon

        The advantage is that it doesn’t look like some ridiculous sneaker with radical colors and bizarre shaped soles. Also no overt branding.

        This isn’t a bad thing, but I do feel like it’s a pretty well-served market. Could it be done better? Sure, probably. Was it worth a $301m IPO? I kinda doubt it, even disregarding the 20/20 hindsight.

        Do you ever look at Campers?

      • Sensei

        They look reasonable! Thanks.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I wear the slippers, and they are well made, long lasting, and, as they have a rubberized sole, great for walking on hardwood.

        I would buy them again.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      I too am wearing Allbirds.

      • R.J.

        Do they make triple E? My feet are so wide I usually throw away the shoes and wear the shoe boxes.

  17. Common Tater

    “Former U.S. Representative Matt Gaetz made some interesting claims regarding aliens during his recent interview with conservative commentator Benny Johnson…

    The former Congressman from Florida stated, “I had someone come and brief me who was in a military uniform, worked for the United States Army, that was briefing me on the locations of hybrid breeding programs where captured aliens were breeding with humans to create some hybrid race that could engage in intergalactic communication.”

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/04/former-congressman-matt-gaetz-claims-u-s-has/

    They should start an OnlyFans.

    • R.J.

      Look at Gaetz’ forehead. Clearly he is a Grey / Human hybrid.

    • cyto

      He didnt really say that…

    • Drake

      Was the X-Files based on true stories?

      • EvilSheldon

        Everything in X-Files was true, except for the general competence of the FBI.

      • Threedoor

        I’ve had that feeling before ES.

  18. Shpip

    After deep and careful reflection, I have come to the conclusion that capitalism is an inhumane and unsustainable system, responsible for the deaths and suffering of billions of innocent souls.

    The rampant hoarding of wealth by the 1% is the most egregious crime facing our world, and must be stopped immediately.

    Human beings are hierarchical by nature, and it is our collective duty to create a hierarchy that ensures redistributive social justice for the most oppressed and marginalized among us.

      • UnCivilServant

        His April Fools joke is pretending to be serious.

    • EvilSheldon

      Sorry bro. The bunny ears gave it away.

    • cyto

      For it is written: let each of him give unto the collective that which he has to give, and let each of them take from the collective that which there is to take.

  19. Not Adahn

    I wonder how one of those molten metal jet AP rounds would interact with an electric tank. I imagine the battery needed to move such a massive vehicle would provide a much better show than your standard watermelon full of tannerite.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m not sure it would explode wo much as become a roman candle of unstoppable flame.

      • R.J.

        Yep. Anyone inside would be cooked to ash.

      • Not Adahn

        Right, so you’ve got the lithium flame, the iron in the steel would produce nice sparks, I’m not sure what all else we would get pyrotechnics-wise. The copper and other colorful metals might be drowned out by the sodium yellows.

    • (((Jarflax

      This is all hypothetical. The actual green new tanks are all lined up back at the factory waiting for the windmill to generate enough power to charge the hauler to carry them to the train (which is on a siding because the actual track to the port has not been laid because there are 37 studies still in progress about the impact of the train on the speckled ass warbler). None of this really matters because the ‘wind powered’ ship they will be loaded on once the train exists sank because the recycled composite material it’s whale friendly hull was made out of turned out to be water soluble.

    • The Last American Hero

      F1 is figuring that out as we speak.

  20. cyto

    Remember not too long ago when we had a sense of humor and April Fools was a light-hearted day where even big institutions participated with fake announcements, website changes and photoshopped gags?

    Amazing how large the culture shift has been in the era of “everyone is totally a Nazi” Nazis policing the discourse.

  21. Not Adahn

    I heard that OMB is the first POTUS to attend SCOTUS.

    I cannot wait for all the articles decrying this as illegal interference and treasonous sedition punishable by impeaching OMB with the death penalty.

    • WTF

      A reporter for CBS already started REEEEEing, and got corrected that “There’s literally a chair set up at SCOTUS for our presidents to sit in for oral argument.”

    • Rat on a train

      Will he threaten them like Schumer?

      • WTF

        What Schumer did was perfectly acceptable 1st amendment discourse.
        Trump merely sitting in and listening is the real threat to OUR DEMOCRACY!!!11!!!!

    • cyto

      I dont get it. Why threaten? Just do it.

      I guarantee that if Russia had blown up Biden and half of congress, 90% of the US would have been all-in for total war against Russia, despite their unpopularity. Much less if they kept blowing up infrastructure and people all over the country.

      We absolutely would not go “if you dont stop, we will attack your internet servers”.

      • (((Jarflax

        Because they probably can’t?

      • UnCivilServant

        Why threaten? Just do it.

        They can’t.

        They have some agents on the ground, but they can only really hit obvious, soft targets.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Obvious soft targets like the planes on the tarmac in Saudi Arabia? They can hit them and there are plenty of company assets in the region to hit.

      • UnCivilServant

        Let me clarify – When speaking about Iranian threats against items on the mainland united states…

      • PutridMeat

        Obvious soft targets like the planes on the tarmac in Saudi Arabia?

        plenty of company assets in the region to hit.

        I’ve been assured that would be a war crime. Certainly, they wouldn’t do that, would they?

      • juris imprudent

        Obvious soft targets like the planes on the tarmac in Saudi Arabia?

        Why do these hornets keep stinging my dick?

    • (((Jarflax

      I am pretty sure that is a door the angel of death is not passing over.

      • UnCivilServant

        Can we just get raining brimstone and pillars of salt?

        The rot is too extensive for a surgical approach.

      • (((Jarflax

        This time around He appears to have settled on a plague of locusts called Democrats.

      • UnCivilServant

        Does not compute – they constitute a large bloc of those needing wrath.

      • (((Jarflax

        God is efficient. The punishment is an inherent result of the crime.

      • UnCivilServant

        Efficient in that the action also teaches a lesson for those who survive.

        We’re not seeing that.

      • (((Jarflax

        Democrats like Pharoah have hearts hardened in evil.

  22. R.J.

    I dig the look of the Trump library. I hope that spire has one of those free-fall rides where you can experience the rise and fall of his popularity during his presidency in an exciting 50-second ride of profound ups and downs.

    • Not Adahn

      This is one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve read in a long time.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Perfectly in character for him. Right down to the prominent display of a retired 747 in the beautiful Raymond Lowey livery that Trump shat upon with a crappy replacement.

    • R.J.

      Oh boy! I gotta watch that one. I am just about to get a Conch Republic hat which I passed up last time I visited:

      https://a.co/d/09KQpzeT

      “We seceded where others failed.”

    • WTF

      Conchs don’t have arms.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Deep state circle jerk

    President Donald Trump’s administration will move the U.S. Forest Service headquarters out of the nation’s capital to Salt Lake City as part of an organizational overhaul that involves shuttering research facilities in 31 states and concentrating resources in the West, the agency announced Tuesday.

    ——-

    During his first term, Trump moved the Bureau of Land Management to Colorado, citing many of the same reasons, including a desire to put top officials closer to the public lands they oversee. But it wasn’t long before the Biden administration reversed course, moving BLM headquarters back to Washington, D.C., after two years.

    Nothing left to cut.

    • Gustave Lytton

      And where is the BLM headquarters now? Because it was reversed January 2024, right?

      • WTF

        A district judge issued an order forbidding relocation.

    • Threedoor

      Those of us in the west want the goons at BLM as far from us as possible.

      Auction off the land too.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Amen amen. Start with the O&C lands, which were supposed to be in private ownership.

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