How to Think Like a Roman Emperor
If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)
This week’s book:
Discourses and Selected Writings
Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.
Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.
Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.
He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.
Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.
He died sometime around AD 135.
He is my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.
Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears italicized in bold, my replies are in normal text.
To those who lightly talk about their own affairs
When someone gives us the impression of having talked to us frankly about his personal affairs, somehow or other we are likewise led to tell him our own secrets, and to think that is frankness! The first reason for this is because it seems unfair for a man to have heard his neighbor’s affairs, and yet not to let him too have, in his turn, a share in ours. Another reason, after that, is because we feel that we shall not give the impression to these men of being frank, if we keep our own private affairs concealed. Indeed, men are frequently in the habit of saying, “I have told you everything about myself, aren’t you willing: to tell me anything about yourself? Where do people act like that?” Furthermore, there is also the thought that we can safely trust the man who has already entrusted knowledge of his own affairs; for the idea occurs to us that this man would never spread abroad knowledge of our affairs, because he would be careful to guard against our too spreading abroad knowledge of his affairs.
I have learned to be careful about who I tell things to. When I had a job I didn’t like after the Marines and found the job I have now, there was a wait of a month before I started this job. I told my co-worker and told him not to tell anyone. A couple days later he was telling me about a different co-worker and he said to me,”Don’t tell anyone, but Greg has a new job soon”. At that moment, I realized he had probably told others about my situation. Sure enough, I started getting asked questions about whether I had a job waiting and they were considering letting me go so they could start looking for a replacement.
5In this fashion the rash are ensnared by the soldiers in Rome. A soldier, dressed like a civilian, sits down by your side, and begins to speak ill of Caesar, and then you too, just as though you had received from him some guarantee of good faith in the fact that he began the abuse, tell likewise everything you think, and the next thing is—you are led off to prison in chains.[1] We experience something of the same sort also in the general course of our life. For even though this particular man has safely entrusted knowledge of his own affairs to me, I do not myself in like manner tell my affairs to any chance comer; no, I listen and keep still, if, to be sure, I happen to be that kind of a person, but he goes out and tells everybody. And then, when I find out what has happened, if I myself resemble the other person, because I want to get even with him I tell about his affairs, and confound him and am myself confounded. If, however, I remember that one person does not harm another, but that it is a man’s own actions which both harm and help him, this much I achieve, namely, that I do not act like the other person, but despite that I get into the state in which I am because of my own foolish talking.
Just because he had done something he told me he wouldn’t, I did not mention to Greg that I knew he had a new job. Doing so would have not improved my situation any. Instead I took it as a lesson learned on dealing with civilians vice dealing with Marines.
Yes, but it isn’t fair to hear your neighbor’s secrets and then give him no share of your own in return.10—Man, I did not invite your confidences, did I? You did not tell about your affairs on certain conditions, that you were to hear about mine in return, did you? If you are a babbler, and think that every person you meet is a friend, do you also want me to be like yourself? And why, if you did well to entrust your affairs to me, but it is impossible for me to do well in trusting you, do you wish me to be rash? It is just as though I had a jar that was sound, and you one with a hole in it, and you came to me and deposited your wine with me, for me to store it in my jar; and then you complained because I do not entrust to you my wine also; why, your jar has a hole in it! How, then, is equality any longer to be found? You made your deposit with a faithful man, with a respectful man, with a man who regards only his own activities as either harmful or helpful, and nothing that is external. Do you wish me to make a deposit with you—a man who has dishonored his own moral purpose, and wants to get paltry cash, or some office, or advancement at court, even if you are going to cut the throats of your children, as Medea did?
I love the example comparing a blabber mouth to a jar with a hole in it. Since I am generally not a big talker, I don’t have too much problem in my day to day life with blabbing things I don’t want everyone to know. My wife had a neighbor with a huge hole in her jar. The first day she met my wife she was gossiping about all of the other neighbor’s secrets and drama. Then she started asking my wife some personal questions. My wife said she just avoided any specific answers because she knew whatever she told the neighbor, all of the wives on our little corner would know.
15Where is there equality in that? Nay, show yourself to me as a faithful, respectful, dependable man; show that your judgements are those of a friend, show that your vessel has no hole in it, and you shall see how I will not wait for you to entrust the knowledge of your affairs to me, but I will go of myself and ask you to hear about mine. For who does not wish to use a good vessel, who despises a friendly and faithful counselor, who would not gladly accept the man who is ready to share his difficulties, as he would share a burden with him, and to make them light for him by the very fact of his sharing in them?
My wife, brothers, and my step dad are the only people I truly trust with any secrets, not that I really have any, there are some advantages to being a simple man. I do my best to help friends when they confide some difficulty to me, but I don’t reciprocate with sharing a dilemma of my own.
Ron, my life is so boring the neighbors don’t want to hear any gossip about me.
It’s like that First Grade best seller.
“Run, Spot, Run
See Spot run”
No one asks what I have been up to lately.
Right there with you, Fourscore.
Most exciting thing we have is watching a movie and drinking a little on a Saturday night.
Fun fact: my great aunt was responsible for the creation of that series.
First Grade Best Seller?
See Dick go up?
Beats ‘See Dick Go Down’
Hank Williams was a Stoic
I regularly keep secrets from myself. It’s the only way to be sure nothing leaks out.
Smart.
I hide things from myself too.
With booze and Amazon, you can be your own Secret Santa!
Several years ago, Suthenboy turned us on to Dead South. I watched the video and scrolled through the comments afterwards. There was one interesting one (paraphrased from memory) . . .
I was drunk when I watched this. Guess who has a banjo coming from amazon. I don’t know how to play banjo.
Can you play banjo now?
Has anyone heard from Suthenboy? He’s been missed.
Someone, somewhere, knows how to contact Suthen or at least knows more than some of us.
Me too.
One is the largest number that can keep a secret. And that’s pushing it.
be sure nothing leaks out.
Sage advice.
Three people can keep a secret, as long as two of them are dead.
There really is something about Josef Stalin quoting Benjamin Franklin…
God helps those who help me….
Stoic
U.S. President Donald Trump said on Wednesday he was unconcerned about the political fallout of an extended conflict with Iran, and that Iranian leaders had miscalculated if they thought the November midterm elections would force him into a deal.
“They thought they were going to outwait me,” Trump said at a White House cabinet meeting, referring to Iran’s leadership. “You know, ‘We’ll outwait him. He’s got the midterms.’ I don’t care about the midterms.”
——-
Trump made the comments on Wednesday as he discussed how to end the conflict. His dismissal of midterm pressure could add to concerns among Republican allies already uneasy with earlier remarks downplaying the economic impact of the war on Americans.
Growing voter disquiet about high prices, especially for gasoline, has added to political pressure on Trump’s Republican Party, which is widely expected to struggle to keep control of the House of Representatives and possibly the Senate.
Focused on the big picture?
Meh. Donald already knew he was going to lose the midterms.
The Dems are going to spend at least the next 2 years burning it all down no matter what he says of does.
Party in power always loses the midterms. Nothing new here.
He *might* have stood a chance with the Iran fiasco, by simply focusing on the domestic issues that his voters clearly wanted and letting the Dems tear themselves apart with their craziness.
ugh “without” Iran
ZWAK
This time will be different. I just know it!
Like governing based on Candidate Trump’s platform and promises? Crazy.
If he wasn’t a politician before, he’s full on swamp creature now.
Yeah, well there’s losing and there’s losing and this is going to be epic. Admittedly though, I’m biased and would like to see him impeached again and convicted this time.
Two years of water treading followed by the next guy walking back whatever is left. And back to BAU.
I’ll accept that if he can take down Biden and Obama with him.
Philosophically antipathetic to Stoicism: Fuel for the next fight about whether or not Cultural Marxism is a real thing.
https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/book-review-the-dialectical-imagination
Too many concepts for a country boy to understand.
Capitalism good, socialism/communism bad.
Dear The Powers That Be,
I just submitted “Vermont Vignettes V” for review. Schedule it at your convenience.
As long as I’m logged in I want to take the opportunity to thank Tonio for stepping up and resuming editorial and managerial roles at a time when I’m sure he was becoming accustomed to having a real life.
Wait, this isn’t real life?
Is this just fantasy?
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies
And see.
Look up to the skies
And see.
Penis rocket go boom?
They tried to warn Wong Burger that it wouldn’t fly
I do not know if this was talked about but what is the stoic position on the new glenn explosion becsuse the effects are epic
https://x.com/SpaceflightNow/status/2060170680604168319
Awwwww . . . . .
Rocket go boom
If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcME99zuWAk
Now *that* is what a call a rapid unscheduled disassembly. Impressive. Makes you want maybe add a little extra margin to your blast zone safety calculation…
Mmmm, Teri Garr…
one roll in the hay please
Don’t you have your own explosions to worry about?
https://www.aol.com/news/york-now-force-drivers-put-192056608.html
How the hell would they still have a license with 16 or more violations in a year?
this legislation seems racist to me.
Gotta be some high insurance rates. Probably no insurance anyway.
Hah! You can’t take my license away because I ain’t got one!
Yeah, that does not seem possible unless there is some two-tier justice (not) going on.
From a dedthred that I only now saw, @NotAdahn:
So, as far as I can tell, readers who won’t tolerate it won’t say so out loud because the readers who love it will savage them. There is a very large swath of straight women who love m/m romance. In fact, they love it so much they will NOT tolerate a vagina in the mix, and if there are ANY women in the STORY at all (as in, not involved in sex), they better damn well be the villain. We’re talking, like, if you have a bartender who happens to be a woman who doesn’t speak, they will squawk. It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. Like, are you self-loathing woman haters or does HOYAY just trip your dopamine triggers and any speck of XX ruin the whole damn thing?
I’m not into m/m pairings or want to deal with the people who read it. At all.
1) There is nothing attractive about 2 penises. Nothing. One, absolutely. That’s for HER, not another HIM. Fuck you, that dick belongs to me.
2) In my observation, there’s a large writing flaw that shows up a lot: The pairing is just an alpha male and a chick with a dick. The bottom may or may not be a twink, but basically, he’s the woman, only without a vagina.
3) Now, part of #2 is that you’re allowed to do things to a man that you’d be savaged for if you did it to a woman, e.g., rape. So, iN mY dAy, the ingenue would be either raped or heavily coerced (“forced seduction” turned into “dubious consent”). “Rape her until she loves you.”* Well, yeah, that’s not great, but the mitigating factor was that either she’d get the point or she’d be led into orgasms beyond measure without moral/spiritual/cultural responsibility. “He did it to me.” [small voice] but it was awesome [/small voice] See also: Stockholm syndrome. This is, wrongly or rightly (I like a lot of wrong things, though, so … ), looked down upon. Some of those older romances have even been re-edited to take out “problematic” elements. (There are still actual m/f subgenres that cater to this, but they’re labeled as such.) If you get a rape survivor on a board saying, “I like this because it helps me deal with my trauma,” boy howdy. You don’t say that shit in public.
However, do this to a man in an m/m pairing with far more violence than any 1970s, 1980s, or 1990s MAINSTREAM romance, and it’s FABULOUS. There might be a trigger warning. There might not be. But there is no apology in female romancelandia for subjecting a man to the type of trauma (or worse) they won’t tolerate for women.
4) There is one trope I’ve come to loathe. One is “gay for you.“ It used to just make me roll my eyes and I started writing one of those, but after having talked to my cousin and then my brother after he had come to his epiphany, I just don’t believe this dynamic at all. “Gay for pay”? Sure. Absolutely. Prostitution is prostitution. Comfort sex? Sure, that too. “Gay for YOU”? No. I’m starting to believe that bisexuality with men is a myth.
5) I really hate how self-righteous, un-self-aware, hypocritical, and Karen-ish the female fans of these books and tropes are. They’re VERY LOUD, shrill, and just plain mean to anybody who either says, “Not my cuppa” or points out the hypocrisy of labeling female heroines as rape victims while fapping to the same when the victim is male. These are the women who say, “White people aren’t allowed to identify as black or take on any affectation of ‘blackness’” but turn around and say, “transwomen ARE women.” Like, do you HEAR yourself? These are the women who will absolutely trash what you like and get offended if you take exception to that (my motto: “Fuck you, I like it.”) AND take your expression of “not my cuppa” as a personal and very violent attack on their entire existence and come down on you for it. If words are violence, these women will become serial killers. Why? Because they know, by their own definition, they shouldn’t like this, but they do, so they will do anything to protect their self-image as A Good Person.
*My husband likes the “bother them till they love you” method of gaining the affections of a cat. It works. The fuck? I spend my life trying to gain trust by giving them space and they just want you to hold them and squeeze them and call them George no matter how much they protest???
WRT the “rape them until they love you,” I only recently watched Three Days of The Condor and hoo boy, could that not be made today.
Also, the “use forced cuddles as a punishment for your cat” thing totally works.
Remember the Luke and Laura storyline from General Hospital? That rape storyline was shoved in your face and everybody ate it up. “’Ship ’em till the writers listen to you!”
Interesting. Of course going through my head is the whole BL thing as portrayed by Japan. But most importantly…
Dicks, Pussies and Assholes
Yaoi is where it all got started. Also, I’m absolutely convinced that 99% of this mtf trans thing is fueled by futanari hentai.
I don’t know what it is about Japanese animation, but it assaults my eyeballs. I couldn’t stand Speed Racer when I was a kid, and I still can’t stand it.
Only exceptions are Howl’s Moving Castle (Studio Ghibli) and The Last Unicorn (Topcraft via Rankin-Bass).
I also don’t get the cuck or netorare genre either.
If you want something photo realistic:
Your Name – Trailer [English Subtitled]
This is compared to Ghibli, but it lacks the storytelling. Still it was filling the void Ghibli left. It’s still got the anime “doe eyed” females.
However, not all anime chooses to do that. This is bleak and highly dystopian, but I also recommend.
She’s a Dystopic Cyberpunk Shotgun Detective | Ergo Proxy
Yeah, “gay for you” is absolutely not a thing. And IMHO you are probably correct that bisexuality in men is a myth.
As for “the pairing is just an alpha male and a chick with a dick” sadly for a lot of people that is what they think gay IS, always. Without getting too TMI I can state that reality is bit more varied.
My brother is married to a nice guy. We all get along just fine.
My brother has an MFA in one of the art categories, but plays in dance, theater, music, graphics arts, sculpture, and so one. Pick any stereotype of a gay man in the arts, and that would be him.
His husband is the curator of the local university’s art collection. So, he falls into pretty much the same set of stereotypes.
Yet they are quite different in personalities. And neither is remotely close to the alpha male stereotype.
Yeah I don’t match either stereotype and I am not particularly into either extreme as a partner, either.
Oh, I forget to address the Anne Rice comment. She never wrote romance as per genre conventions (which are usually followed even in m/m romance, which also doesn’t make sense to me because dudes deal with each other differently from the way dudes deal with women).
In the past, people who read romance didn’t usually read it JUST for the sex, but I believe that’s changed drastically in the last about, oh, five years? I guess. Between the tween fanfic writers who grew up and posted their tween fanfic on tween fanfic forums without learning how to actually write because they didn’t need to because the trope-fueled dopamine hits are what their audience wants, and BookTok, where they openly admit they only read the dialogue, they aren’t looking for anything but the tropes and what they consider zippy one-liners, and every character has to be some combo of the favored societal “outcasts” (e.g., furry, trans, not white, “neurodivergent” 🙄 or flat-out “autistic,” not “Nazi,” not capitalist, not MAGA, not Christian, people who want children, etc etc etc).
They don’t care about character development, the plot is entirely trope-driven, they won’t tolerate Bad People (see above), and they absolutely will not tolerate anything that makes them uncomfortable (if the writer didn’t mean to and even if they didn’t mean to, the writer will absolutely get a drubbing that s/he/it/they didn’t “educate themselves” [dO bEtTeR!!111!!!] and they better not fuck up next time, if there is a next time because you might become an aUtHoR bEhAvInG bAdLy).
In my opinion, the state of reading is awful if you’re only shopping at Target.
There are just a whole lot of fanfic conventions that cater to the
womengirls who grew up with it, love it, don’t know any better, don’t need/care/want to know better, and look down upon people who actually read things that have plots and characters they SHOULDN’T like. The worst part of it all is that thesewomengirls who don’t know good writing but do know good dopamine triggers are the ones buying the books at the major publishing houses.Anne Rice is too much for these people. They may have read Lestat (questionable), but I’m pretty sure they’ve never heard of the Beauty books and those would make the current crop of readers very uncomfortable.